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sprinkle or not to sprinkle?

amandab24amandab24 member
edited February 2015 in July 2015 Moms
My mother wants to throw me a sprinkle shower his spring. I already have a little boy but bc the second one is a girl she's thrilled. What are your thoughts on having a second "shower" ? I feel bad having my friends buy me anything bc I'm 36 and it's my second
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Re: sprinkle or not to sprinkle?

  • lilweenielilweenie member
    I wouldn't do it and if I got invited to one I wouldn't go.
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  • amandab24amandab24 member
    I know but how do you tell your mom not to do it if she's going to do it anyway?
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  • ipumpkinipumpkin member
    I wouldn't do it. Maybe just sit her down and tell her you seriously don't want to do anything like that
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  • amandab24amandab24 member
    Maybe it would be better if it was just a luncheon with the theme of a girl
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  • cls2015cls2015 member
    A bit gift grabby in this new world we live in where people will use any excuse to throw a party. I read somewhere once that's it's proper etiquette to have a second shower only if the kids are more than five years apart. I understand that this is your first boy - but the people who want to give you a gift will do so whether you have a shower or not.
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  • keniialisekeniialise member
    edited February 2015
    We have two boys and even though we had everything we needed my army wife friends threw me a surprise sprinkle. We got mostly clothes and diapers which is really all we needed anyways. I definitley didn't expect it, but once it was over I was extremely happy that I was able to celebrate my second baby with everyone.
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  • amandab24amandab24 member
    I like the welcoming party idea but I wouldn't want all those people breathing on and holding the new baby lol
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  • ThisMakes5ThisMakes5 member
    Let your mother celebrate this baby!!

    Anyone who wants to come will and those who dont can stay home. No matter if you have a party or not your going to get gifts from people so to me you should let people know what you need.

    If you would rather not have gifts I think the idea above by PP sounds awesome!!

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  • MamamadsMamamads member
    grlplz said:

    Okay first, to all the negative people out there: stop it. She is not "gift grabby" and her mom wants to celebrate her new granddaughter, nothing wrong with that. True friends and family would show up to a second shower, those who decide to boycott it are just negative.

    Second, if you really don't want one you will have to tell her. Or stick with some of the other ideas, luncheon, welcoming party, etc. You could also request no gifts if that's the part that makes you uncomfortable (and don't register so there is no confusion on this). I've been to baby parties where it was not their first but it was still something fun to celebrate (who doesn't love babies) so they requested no gifts but did what they called a diaper raffle. Guests who wished to participate could bring a pack of diapers and get their name in a raffle for a gift card to a nice restaurant. It was fun getting together with everyone, some people still showed up with little things like blankets or onesies, so be prepared for that, and the guests liked the raffle idea. Plus if you aren't using cloth diapers it's a nice way to get a little "nest egg" of diapers.

    Just something a little different to think about.

    It's not negative it's a fact that some people will perceive an invite to someone's second baby shower as gift grabby. A baby shower is to welcome you into motherhood once you are a mom you don't need to be welcomed again. Do people have subsequent showers? Sure. Do people side eye the shit out of them in disbelief of the gift grabby ness? Yes.
    If you want to celebrate the baby do it after the baby is here or have a bbq with no presents and don't call it a shower. Op it's totally up to you but do know some people find it super offensive and tacky to have second showers even if they have the cutesy name of "sprinkle."
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  • mers90mers90 member
    Im having one, everyone in mexico has a BS for each child, usually if they're the same sex is a diappers only baby shower. My son will be almost six and we were poor when we had him so we didnt have much, and everything we had i donated it when he was 2 to another teen mom who had less than me. I literally don't have 1 pair of socks that this baby could use! And as i said, here's normal, specially with the age gap and different sex.
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  • grlplzgrlplz member
    edited February 2015
    People who automatically assume that a second shower is all about the gifts are negative. First shower, 10th shower, whatever, when I get shower invites I get excited about a baby. That should be anyone's first thought. How could anyone find it offensive? There is nothing against anyone in throwing a shower. The OP is not gift gabby as she isn't trying to get more gifts (pretty important part of "gift grabby") and she never said her mother would be asking guests to bring gifts. Calling her greedy is negative. Telling her her friends won't want to come is negative. And she already said she didn't like the idea of having that many people around her newborn.

    Like I said if you really just don't want one tell her no. If it's about the fact people are going to call you greedy, like many of these posts have shown, tell them no gifts. The choice is yours. Don't let anyone make it for you.
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  • grlplzgrlplz member
    mers90 said:

    Im having one, everyone in mexico has a BS for each child, usually if they're the same sex is a diappers only baby shower. My son will be almost six and we were poor when we had him so we didnt have much, and everything we had i donated it when he was 2 to another teen mom who had less than me. I literally don't have 1 pair of socks that this baby could use! And as i said, here's normal, specially with the age gap and different sex.

    Baby shower etiquette here is changing. It used to be first only. Then one for each sex. Then only more than one if they are 5+ years apart. Then one for each sex and/or 5+ years. No one knows anymore. So many different rules for something as simple as celebrating a new life. Do what feels right for you and not because Miss Manners say so.
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  • MamamadsMamamads member
    grlplz said:

    People who automatically assume that a second shower is all about the gifts are negative. First shower, 10th shower, whatever, when I get shower invites I get excited about a baby. That should be anyone's first thought. How could anyone find it offensive? There is nothing against anyone in throwing a shower. The OP is not gift gabby as she isn't trying to get more gifts (pretty important part of "gift grabby") and she never said her mother would be asking guests to bring gifts. Calling her greedy is negative. Telling her her friends won't want to come is negative. And she already said she didn't like the idea of having that many people around her newborn.

    Like I said if you really just don't want one tell her no. If it's about the fact people are going to call you greedy, like many of these posts have shown, tell them no gifts. The choice is yours. Don't let anyone make it for you.

    Umm a shower is all about gifts because you are "showering the mother with gifts." Obviously she isn't saying I want a second shower because I want all the presents but a shower is a gift giving event so you are asking people for gifts. Like I said if it's so much about the baby have a sip and see or party after baby is home. Honestly have as many showers or sprinkles as your heart desires but just know there are people who will think it's beyond tacky and roll their eyes when they get the invite and they aren't going to tell you. Obviously if it's a part of your culture like a pp said and it's hugely accepted In your groups then it's not a big question. If you have to ask if it's tacky etc then it is.
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  • grlplzgrlplz member
    Cut the crap? Gift grabby? Tacky? "Wow" rude much. If your problem is the word "shower" in baby shower meaning "showering with gifts" back when my grandmother was having babies than fine. But nowadays people have parties (called showers because that is the widely understood term) to celebrate a new life coming into the world. Most people request no gifts after a first party (shower). You can be as irritated by this new trend, or the wording, or whatever the issue seems to be, as you want but being rude won't change it. Let her mom have a get together with their family to celebrate A NEW LIFE. Before baby, after baby, whenever. Still doesn't give any of you the right to call her greedy when she was the one who originally said she didn't want them. If she's not doing anything "tacky" is it acceptable then?
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  • MamamadsMamamads member
    edited February 2015
    grlplz said:

    Cut the crap? Gift grabby? Tacky? "Wow" rude much. If your problem is the word "shower" in baby shower meaning "showering with gifts" back when my grandmother was having babies than fine. But nowadays people have parties (called showers because that is the widely understood term) to celebrate a new life coming into the world. Most people request no gifts after a first party (shower). You can be as irritated by this new trend, or the wording, or whatever the issue seems to be, as you want but being rude won't change it. Let her mom have a get together with their family to celebrate A NEW LIFE. Before baby, after baby, whenever. Still doesn't give any of you the right to call her greedy when she was the one who originally said she didn't want them. If she's not doing anything "tacky" is it acceptable then?

    Nope I'm not rude just honest. She asked for opinions and got them. Nobody called her gift grabby but simply stated having a second shower appears so to many people.
    And a shower is not to celebrate a "new life" it's to welcome you into motherhood. Period. Also you can cut it any way you want but a shower is a gift giving event so if it isn't a shower don't call it one. If it's not about gifts don't have a shower. It's really simple.
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  • grlplzgrlplz member
    edited February 2015
    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy and tacky for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap and negativity. We are all mom's all going through a lot of the same stuff together, why do we have to attack each other when our opinions and views don't match? This is not the only thread on here where people are calling others names or saying horribly cruel things to each other because they don't like a, b or c. Guess this was just the one that put over the edge.
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  • MamamadsMamamads member
    grlplz said:

    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap.

    NOPE don't see where a single person said she was greedy or gift grabby. Also she didn't get crap she got honest opinions. If I was doing something that's a pretty big faux pas I would want someone to tell me even if it was "rough" to hear or whatever.
    And yes have a baby celebration party but please don't tell people to bring diapers for a raffle. You are basically making everyone who would like to come feel obligated to buy your child diapers. Which is rude. Honestly these disgusting clever little baby shower ideas and variations aren't much better then having a full fledged baby shower for all 5 of your kids or whatever. If it's not about gifts don't have any Type of gifts at all.
    Report Reply
  • MEXARABMEXARAB member
    I wouldn't have one. My moms totally against this to. I have a cousin who had a shower for every baby. She has 4 kids. 2 girls then 2 boys. I was annoyed but I still went to a couple of the ones I could make it to.
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  • grlplzgrlplz member
    I'm sorry were you there? Nope, okay. If you read what you're looking at it has been mentioned a thousand times don't do gifts if that's what you're uncomfortable with and that sounds so much better, and makes the same point as the words "tacky", "gift grabby", and "offensive". So arguing about no gift showers/parties/whatever you want to call it being greedy is pointless as no gifts has already been covered. And shower etiquette varies greatly by family traditions, personal situation, area, culture, and age so when a PP blanket covered everyone who has more than one shower greedy (that would include OP if she decides to have one) or the other PP who said they would never go to a second baby shower it was negative.
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  • MamamadsMamamads member
    edited February 2015
    grlplz said:

    I'm sorry were you there? Nope, okay. If you read what you're looking at it has been mentioned a thousand times don't do gifts if that's what you're uncomfortable with and that sounds so much better, and makes the same point as the words "tacky", "gift grabby", and "offensive". So arguing about no gift showers/parties/whatever you want to call it being greedy is pointless as no gifts has already been covered. And shower etiquette varies greatly by family traditions, personal situation, area, culture, and age so when a PP blanket covered everyone who has more than one shower greedy (that would include OP if she decides to have one) or the other PP who said they would never go to a second baby shower it was negative.

    Maybe shower etiquette varies by countries and cultures and like I said if it's something done by everyone in your family and friend circle then fine knock yourself out. But obviously this isn't the case or she wouldn't be asking the question. Honestly if you want to throw yourself a fourth baby shower with facebook invites, books instead of cards and ask your guests to potluck the party, that's on you.. Just know that some of your friends/family will most likely be rolling their eyes saying to themselves "greedy." And sorry if honesty is so "negative" for you, but that's life.
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  • grlplzgrlplz member
    Mamamads said:
    I'm sorry were you there? Nope, okay. If you read what you're looking at it has been mentioned a thousand times don't do gifts if that's what you're uncomfortable with and that sounds so much better, and makes the same point as the words "tacky", "gift grabby", and "offensive". So arguing about no gift showers/parties/whatever you want to call it being greedy is pointless as no gifts has already been covered. And shower etiquette varies greatly by family traditions, personal situation, area, culture, and age so when a PP blanket covered everyone who has more than one shower greedy (that would include OP if she decides to have one) or the other PP who said they would never go to a second baby shower it was negative.
    Maybe shower etiquette varies by countries and cultures and like I said if it's something done by everyone in your family and friend circle then fine knock yourself out. But obviously this isn't the case or she wouldn't be asking the question. Honestly if you want to throw yourself a fourth baby shower with facebook invites, books instead of cards and ask your guests to potluck the party, that's on you.. Just know that some of your friends/family will most likely be rolling their eyes saying to themselves "greedy." And sorry if honesty is so "negative" for you, but that's life.
    K.
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  • nimble33nimble33 member
    Hmmm. The whole "baby shower" over here in the UK is still a new thing. I've never had one and not that bothered about having one either but as we've resently moved I said we'll have a BBQ in the summer and do a house warming and meet baby kind of thing then. If you're mum wants to throw you the baby shower let her get on with it. She's just happy to be getting a grand daughter. If you have good close friends they won't be bothered about wether it's you're first second or third shower they will want to celebrate you're fab news with you. Have a lovey time :)
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  • kladd7182kladd7182 member
    Here is the bottom line: if someone wants to throw you a second, third whatever baby shower they will, and you can't really stop it. As long as OP is not throwing the shower herself, and didn't ask for it, it is not gift grabby, or tacky. I didn't ask for any of mine, but family threw suprise showers for me or welcoming parties. Then again, we invite only family to them, as we are excited over a new life and family member joining us.

    My cousin is a perfect example, we had the family shower for her. It's her second child. In this pregnancy she had SIX baby showers. You know how many she asked for? None, zero, zilch. Different people, in different areas of her life threw them for her, each one a suprise, and someone wanted to do it. Point being, if her mom truly wants to do it, she will regardless of OPs protests.
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  • CkorinesCkorines member
    My mom is throwing me a sprinkle! I had a miscarriage last year and my famiy and friends are so excited to celebrate our rainbow and keep asking us if we are doing a gathering for this special time. I'm thinking the people who would judge you are not worth being there anyway! Sprinkle away!
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  • sschwegesschwege member
    In some circles showers/sprinkles for STM+ are common in others such as mine they are unheard of.  I have never been to a shower for a second baby.  Here's the thing, I am of the mind that if you have to ask it probably isn't done in your circle or area of the country in which case I would graciously decline.  Give your mother some other ways to celebrate, perhaps you can have a girls' day out before the baby come, she could host a 'meet the baby' party after the baby gets here, etc.  Let her know that you are just uncomfortable with the whole idea.  If she decides to go against your wishes and has a surprise shower then there isn't much you can do.
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  • kaylee918kaylee918 member
    edited February 2015
    Mamamads said:

    grlplz said:

    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap.

    NOPE don't see where a single person said she was greedy or gift grabby. Also she didn't get crap she got honest opinions. If I was doing something that's a pretty big faux pas I would want someone to tell me even if it was "rough" to hear or whatever.
    And yes have a baby celebration party but please don't tell people to bring diapers for a raffle. You are basically making everyone who would like to come feel obligated to buy your child diapers. Which is rude. Honestly these disgusting clever little baby shower ideas and variations aren't much better then having a full fledged baby shower for all 5 of your kids or whatever. If it's not about gifts don't have any Type of gifts at all.
    You're irrelevant.✋
    Every baby deserves just as much as the next/last.
    Report Reply
  • sschwegesschwege member
    kaylee918 said:
    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap.
    NOPE don't see where a single person said she was greedy or gift grabby. Also she didn't get crap she got honest opinions. If I was doing something that's a pretty big faux pas I would want someone to tell me even if it was "rough" to hear or whatever. And yes have a baby celebration party but please don't tell people to bring diapers for a raffle. You are basically making everyone who would like to come feel obligated to buy your child diapers. Which is rude. Honestly these disgusting clever little baby shower ideas and variations aren't much better then having a full fledged baby shower for all 5 of your kids or whatever. If it's not about gifts don't have any Type of gifts at all.
    You're irrelevant.✋ Every baby deserves just as much as the next/last.
    Whatever a baby 'deserves' is up to the parents to provide. 
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  • kaylee918kaylee918 member
    sschwege said:


    kaylee918 said:

    Mamamads said:

    grlplz said:

    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap.

    NOPE don't see where a single person said she was greedy or gift grabby. Also she didn't get crap she got honest opinions. If I was doing something that's a pretty big faux pas I would want someone to tell me even if it was "rough" to hear or whatever.
    And yes have a baby celebration party but please don't tell people to bring diapers for a raffle. You are basically making everyone who would like to come feel obligated to buy your child diapers. Which is rude. Honestly these disgusting clever little baby shower ideas and variations aren't much better then having a full fledged baby shower for all 5 of your kids or whatever. If it's not about gifts don't have any Type of gifts at all.
    You're irrelevant.✋
    Every baby deserves just as much as the next/last.

    Whatever a baby 'deserves' is up to the parents to provide. 


    And if that parent wants to 'provide' a baby shower so be it.
    Report Reply
  • sschwegesschwege member
    kaylee918 said:
    kaylee918 said:
    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap.
    NOPE don't see where a single person said she was greedy or gift grabby. Also she didn't get crap she got honest opinions. If I was doing something that's a pretty big faux pas I would want someone to tell me even if it was "rough" to hear or whatever. And yes have a baby celebration party but please don't tell people to bring diapers for a raffle. You are basically making everyone who would like to come feel obligated to buy your child diapers. Which is rude. Honestly these disgusting clever little baby shower ideas and variations aren't much better then having a full fledged baby shower for all 5 of your kids or whatever. If it's not about gifts don't have any Type of gifts at all.
    You're irrelevant.✋ Every baby deserves just as much as the next/last.
    Whatever a baby 'deserves' is up to the parents to provide. 
    And if that parent wants to 'provide' a baby shower so be it.
    Ha, nice try.  It is never OK to host your own gift giving affair.

    Gee, I think my kids deserve an Ivy League education, perhaps I should host a party where everyone contributes to their 529 accounts. 
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  • jonesy15jonesy15 member
    Wow I didn't realise there were so many rules!
    I live in the UK. I have noticed baby showers becoming more popular here over the past couple of years.
    Personally I don't like the idea of baby showers and haven't attended any.
    If people want to buy baby a gift or visit when he /she is born then so be it.
    Report Reply
  • kaylee918kaylee918 member
    sschwege said:


    kaylee918 said:

    sschwege said:


    kaylee918 said:

    Mamamads said:

    grlplz said:

    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap.

    NOPE don't see where a single person said she was greedy or gift grabby. Also she didn't get crap she got honest opinions. If I was doing something that's a pretty big faux pas I would want someone to tell me even if it was "rough" to hear or whatever.
    And yes have a baby celebration party but please don't tell people to bring diapers for a raffle. You are basically making everyone who would like to come feel obligated to buy your child diapers. Which is rude. Honestly these disgusting clever little baby shower ideas and variations aren't much better then having a full fledged baby shower for all 5 of your kids or whatever. If it's not about gifts don't have any Type of gifts at all.
    You're irrelevant.✋
    Every baby deserves just as much as the next/last.

    Whatever a baby 'deserves' is up to the parents to provide. 
    And if that parent wants to 'provide' a baby shower so be it.

    Ha, nice try.  It is never OK to host your own gift giving affair.

    Gee, I think my kids deserve an Ivy League education, perhaps I should host a party where everyone contributes to their 529 accounts. 


    Since when was it your place to tell them not to? Smart ass.
    Report Reply
  • grlplzgrlplz member
    sschwege said:


    kaylee918 said:

    sschwege said:


    kaylee918 said:

    Mamamads said:

    grlplz said:

    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap.

    NOPE don't see where a single person said she was greedy or gift grabby. Also she didn't get crap she got honest opinions. If I was doing something that's a pretty big faux pas I would want someone to tell me even if it was "rough" to hear or whatever.
    And yes have a baby celebration party but please don't tell people to bring diapers for a raffle. You are basically making everyone who would like to come feel obligated to buy your child diapers. Which is rude. Honestly these disgusting clever little baby shower ideas and variations aren't much better then having a full fledged baby shower for all 5 of your kids or whatever. If it's not about gifts don't have any Type of gifts at all.
    You're irrelevant.✋
    Every baby deserves just as much as the next/last.

    Whatever a baby 'deserves' is up to the parents to provide. 
    And if that parent wants to 'provide' a baby shower so be it.

    Ha, nice try.  It is never OK to host your own gift giving affair.

    Gee, I think my kids deserve an Ivy League education, perhaps I should host a party where everyone contributes to their 529 accounts. 


    I think that's called a graduation party :smiley:
    Report Reply
  • sschwegesschwege member
    kaylee918 said:
    kaylee918 said:
    kaylee918 said:
    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap.
    NOPE don't see where a single person said she was greedy or gift grabby. Also she didn't get crap she got honest opinions. If I was doing something that's a pretty big faux pas I would want someone to tell me even if it was "rough" to hear or whatever. And yes have a baby celebration party but please don't tell people to bring diapers for a raffle. You are basically making everyone who would like to come feel obligated to buy your child diapers. Which is rude. Honestly these disgusting clever little baby shower ideas and variations aren't much better then having a full fledged baby shower for all 5 of your kids or whatever. If it's not about gifts don't have any Type of gifts at all.
    You're irrelevant.✋ Every baby deserves just as much as the next/last.
    Whatever a baby 'deserves' is up to the parents to provide. 
    And if that parent wants to 'provide' a baby shower so be it.
    Ha, nice try.  It is never OK to host your own gift giving affair.

    Gee, I think my kids deserve an Ivy League education, perhaps I should host a party where everyone contributes to their 529 accounts. 
    Since when was it your place to tell them not to? Smart ass.
    Well crafted response, I like the name calling! 
    image




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  • kaylee918kaylee918 member
    sschwege said:


    kaylee918 said:

    sschwege said:


    kaylee918 said:

    sschwege said:


    kaylee918 said:

    Mamamads said:

    grlplz said:

    That's what I said, have a baby party than. And look at the comments, people did call her greedy for something that wasn't even her idea. For a group of mom's it seems ridiculous that she got so much crap.

    NOPE don't see where a single person said she was greedy or gift grabby. Also she didn't get crap she got honest opinions. If I was doing something that's a pretty big faux pas I would want someone to tell me even if it was "rough" to hear or whatever.
    And yes have a baby celebration party but please don't tell people to bring diapers for a raffle. You are basically making everyone who would like to come feel obligated to buy your child diapers. Which is rude. Honestly these disgusting clever little baby shower ideas and variations aren't much better then having a full fledged baby shower for all 5 of your kids or whatever. If it's not about gifts don't have any Type of gifts at all.
    You're irrelevant.✋
    Every baby deserves just as much as the next/last.

    Whatever a baby 'deserves' is up to the parents to provide. 
    And if that parent wants to 'provide' a baby shower so be it.

    Ha, nice try.  It is never OK to host your own gift giving affair.

    Gee, I think my kids deserve an Ivy League education, perhaps I should host a party where everyone contributes to their 529 accounts. 
    Since when was it your place to tell them not to? Smart ass.


    Well crafted response, I like the name calling! 


    Thanks. I added it just for you!
    Report Reply
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