Newbie Intro (loss mentioned)

Kelley421 · February 2015

Hi ladies! I am migrating over from another forum looking for others that are in similar situations. The other boards I have been on just did not have an active 2IF following and my two infertile friends don't want children, so they really don't get it.

Sooo to introduce and a little background (most in my siggy)... MH and I have been TTC #2 for me (#1 for him) since April 2013. Prior to that we used a very poor version of the timing method as birth control turns me into a raging bitch that throws any object nearby, or a sobbing mess. In January 2014 we self-referred to an RE after MH regular doc told him we weren't getting KU due to his low testosterone, likely causing low count. After initial testing it was determined he has tons of active swimmers and I have weak ovulation (this determination was made by serial progesterone levels at 7dpo). Basically every 28 days I release the most craptastic egg ever, and IF it happens to fertilize, the embryo stops developing soon after.

At the moment- waiting for appointment next week with RE to review remaining labs he did after the recurrent losses. So far the only lab they have called about was Vitamin D, and I started a supplement. If our karyotyping is normal, we will start another medicated cycle late March.

My question for you guys-- how do you deal with the constant questions about "when are you going to have another one?" and "I'm surprised you aren't pregnant by now!" I get these questions so much at work.. There is a coworker that is KU who stopped by my office giggling to tell me about her dream where we were both KU together.. (I just said "oh really.. hmm..." and flipped her off when she closed the door. My friends and family that know tiptoe around these subjects to extreme degrees that make it even worse.

Intro...and short rant... complete

annibes · February 2015

Welcome! 2IF is such a bitch but the ladies here are amazing.

We haven't had that question recently- people asked a lot more when DS was younger (he is 5). But when it does come up, I am just open about how we've been trying and that statistically, the chances of "just relaxing" have a <1% chance of helping me get pregnant again.

ellebelle2384 · February 2015

Welcome! I'm on mobile so I can't see your siggy but sorry for your losses. Keep us updated with your RLP testing. Hope you can get a good plan with the RE this week! Just a heads up, karyotyping can take a while to come back. Ours took about 3 weeks but I know it can take longer than that.

As to your question, I'm pretty honest with people when they ask and tell them we have had multiple losses. It can be harsh but it's pretty effective at stopping the conversation. Usually the people that ask are people I don't care about so I don't mind if it makes them uncomfortable.

jen4ny · February 2015

Welcome. I have been pretty open with family and coworkers about what we are going through so they aren't constantly asking me when we are having another one.

Frenchteachermama · February 2015

Welcome, hope the testing gives you some insight into what is going on. I agree with PPs, being honest with what is going on stops the annoying comments.

Kelley421 · February 2015

Thanks for the advice ladies. I think next time I might be honest if I'm feeling comfortable. Often times this happens in front of 3+ people and I would rather not announce to a group.
@ellebelle2384‌ we had our labs drawn in Jan and appt scheduled 3 weeks from then.
However I have an online account with the lab and was notified this AM I could view them. All mine are neg or not flagged except the Vitamin D which was low at 24. DH has to use a different lab due to insurance and they won't release results, we'll get those at the appt.
Thanks for the welcome! Happy to be joining and active forum!

pdxveg · February 2015

Welcome! I agree that honesty is the best way to keep people from prying. I usually give the "hopefully someday" response first and if that doesn't work I use uncomfortable honestly.

Good luck!

Flamingemu · February 2015

Hello. Good luck with everything.

I am a mix of honest and not, it depends on the person. I usually make it into a joke and say that L broke me. If they press than I tell them the truth to get them to back off. It always works.

BDevereaux · February 2015

Hi & welcome! So sorry for your losses.

I feel that most people around us know the situation by now, so we don't get asked a ton. If I do, it's usually by someone at work or someone I don't know at all. I did have a coworker (who has since been fired, thank God) who constantly asked when I was going to have another baby. I didn't really care for her and didn't want to share our business, so I'd usually bite my tongue and just say something vague like "I don't know... we'll see." I have since confided in my boss and another coworker, as I've had to miss work so many times for for apointments... and we all know you can't really just schedule fertility appointments whenever you feel.

My thing is, what is wrong with the people who say things like "Your daughter NEEDS a sibling!" Um, no, she actually doesn't NEED a sibling, but okay, thank you. Would you like to start paying for my fertility treatments? No? THEN SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE.

Newbie Intro (loss mentioned)

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