my mother told everyone I was pregnant

Mandylee1 · January 2015

I'm just about 10 weeks pregnant. I was waiting until my next ultrasound at 12 weeks to tell people, just to make sure everything was going well. I told my mother and my in laws a few weeks ago though, and asked them not to tell anyone until my husband and i had a chance to. Well... my mother decided because she was "so excited" to tell all of her Co workers, my grandparents, my father's cousin whom she knows can not keep a secret and in turn told my whole father's side of the family before I got a chance to. (They are divorced. We are not super close, but call me crazy but I wanted to be the one to tell him fist hand) This is all making me so mad im convinced im just going to explode..
For weeks, I had told her not to say anything until i did. She said okay. But all she was focused on when she talked to me was how she couldn't wait to see my aunts reaction -because now her kids were not going to be the babies anymore- (which is such a Crazy and psychotic thing to say, She mentioned it to my husband and I several times. We told her that we were not having a baby for her to rub it in people's faces, or gloat over being the "youngest" ... what the hell does that even matter anyway??!) Now I can't help but think that she told my dads cousin on purpose out of spite so he'd find out through the grapevine, and not directly. I immeadiatly called her out on this and all she says is "really amanda??" Or "sooooo sorry for being excited" she never apologized nor does she see anything wrong with what she did. I'm so angry, hormanal and not feeling well on top of all of this. I'm not even sure if this is something i should be this angry about or if it's hormones. Thoughts?

Miz_Liz · January 2015

If you specifically told her not to, she had no right. I would be pissed too....and if you have another I would wait until you are ready to tell everyone before telling her. Definitely not cool.

KLB2T · January 2015

Your mom was completely out of line. It was NOT her news to tell, and shouldn't have told. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I would not be talking to her for a while if it were me. Probably wouldn't even give her the updates of how baby is doing... She can hear through the grapevine. That's just my opinion though...my mom and I never had the best relationship.

Edit: spelling

sschwege · January 2015

Yeah, that was not nice at all and you have every right to be upset. For sure if you have another don't tell her until you are ready to tell the world and don't let her know when you go into labor or have the baby until you are ready for everyone to know. She obviously can't keep a secret!

ChristyM87 · January 2015

That is definitely not cool. I would tell her that she can find out about ultrasounds, sec of the baby, or whatever other baby announcements when everyone else does

Mandylee1 · January 2015

KLB2T said:
Your mom was completely out of line. It was NOT her news to tell, and shouldn't have told. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I would not be talking to her for a while if it were me. Probably wouldn't even give her the updates of how baby is doing... She can hear through the grapevine. That's just my opinion though...my mom and I never had the best relationship.

Edit: spelling

Thank you. Haha, I was thinking the same thing actually. We had a pretty rocky relationship while I was growing up, mainly for her need to gossip and never have anything nice to say about anyone. I'm sad to see the last few years of trust I gave her go right down the toilet.

Emy1986 · January 2015

Ohhhh....your mum & my mum would get along so well. They could tell the world! I told my mum not to say anything, she told her partner, my grandparents, my uncle (who then told his sons)....I was PISSED. And I got the same sarcastic answer when I called her about it. "Sooooo sorry for being excited" & turned it back on me, making ME out to be the bad one. I totally feel your pain...

hollyberri · January 2015

Are you my sister? Lol! I intentionally haven't told my mother with either pregnancy until I was ready for everyone else to know for the same reason. We told her last weekend and told her to keep it off Fb. What's the first thing she does? Posts one of those vague book posts to make everyone jump to conclusions! She deleted the post of course when I called her on it. So aggravating! It's not just hormones, she should respect your right to share your news. Just my two cents.

bashfulbird · January 2015

Sorry your mom stole your thunder, that sucks. I guess we know who is finding out last next time.

tinktink20 · January 2015

What a bitch!!

miskulin · January 2015

It's not her story to tell. Completely out of line. My MIL put something on Facebook directly after we told her not to put anything on Facebook. I nearly killed her through the computer. Mama bear claws came out EARLY! I would share anything else with her that you didn't want spread. Sucks big time.

kdm211 · January 2015

Ugh I am so sorry! The same thing happened to me at 7 weeks when my MIL posted on FB. It really sucks and you have every right to be mad. After I let myself be mad for a bit- I decided to adopt a little mantra: "I choose joy." It's already super unfair they stole some of our initial joy, so I refuse to continue to let them do that. Regardless of who spills the news (even as ANNOYING as it is, I get it. I was furious.) - it's our joy. Not theirs. And I'm choosing to relish in it, for my own sake or else I'll be a real bitter bitch the remainder of this pregnancy.

hfarrell143 · January 2015

Wow, not right at all. This is EXACTLY what my mom did after I told her also to not tell anyone and that we want to be the ones, and she went ahead and told all my aunts and my grandpa and texted me and said "oh by the wayn the family all knows now, I just couldn't wait any longer." infuriating.

cosplaymom · January 2015

Last time my dad announced on Facebook before I told anyone outside of the family. I was pretty annoyed; basically it stole my thunder and I didn't make any Facebook announcement until the gender reveal.

This time I told him much later (and only because he was staying with us for a few days after surgery). And I announced on Facebook before he got the chance.

joneka · January 2015

I am sorry your mom cant hold water.....thankfully I told the few people that are near and dear to my heart first hand.....because mom has been shouting it from the roof tops and telling everyone....like at the grocery store...lol.....I am glad she doesn't have social media!!!! I will be announcing my own way on FB, so she hasn't stole my thunder...

welches161 · January 2015

My husband and I are so afraid of this. We agreed to tell both sets of parents at the same time; which is this weekend. I am 10w1d today so not to much farther until in 2nd trim. We will request not to make it public yet, but am really nervous of mom's still spilling the beans. Almost makes me want to wait a few more weeks.

Starynightsky24 · January 2015

Well, at least you know how to plan for the future. We had issues like this with DS. And, this time the people who could not respect our requests will not be told till after we post to FB. They have lost the privilege to know early.

Things like, announcing the sex, telling when you're in labor, the birth of the baby... Etc.

atthemoment · January 2015

i feel you-i thought this could have been me! i am the only daughter to a very overbearing mother ( embarsses me and makes my in laws uncomfortable) this is her first GK and although i said i wanted to wait until my first tri was over to announce she decided one night when i was 11 weeks to group text the entire family that i am PG. was too excited to wait.. i will deal with it since she wants to throw me a big baby shower. moms..what can you do??

PixelPosy · January 2015

My father outed us on Face Book super early last time. We just went ahead and announced ourselves since it was already out there. We were only 8 weeks.

This time everyone has respectfully stayed away from Face Book, but both mothers have spilled the beans within their immediate families. We have received congratulation phone calls from aunts. The worse one has been MIL telling DH's brother and SIL, before we had the chance to do so. Part of that is DH's fault, he was dragging his feet on telling them, but still MIL didn't have to share our news. BIL was a bit bitter, but said he understood why we were waiting to share.

I am happy they are so excited, and it's just the risk we run of telling our parents so early before we're ready to tell the whole world.

bashfulbird · January 2015

ugh people and facebook announcing other peoples business....arggg! WTF?

SassetteSmurfling · January 2015

I would stab anyone who shared my news. This is precisely why I refuse to tell my in laws.

dev85 · January 2015

Completely out of line. I had this fear with my boyfriend's mom. Every time I spoke to her she would tell me how she couldn't wait to tell the world. This partially lead me to announcing sooner than I jade initially intended. It's my news to tell the world, not hers, especially being a FTM!

jbbunting · January 2015

I know exactly what you mean. I knew my mother couldn't keep it to herself so I didn't tell her until I was ready for everyone else to know. My inlaws on the other hand knew around week 7. If I were you I would be upset as well. I wish you luck in being able to make amends with your mom so you can put it past you and have a happy pregnancy.

laurenashley519 · January 2015

We could definitely be sisters! My mom didn't tell the family (to my knowledge) but it was a major discussion to get her to wait. But I found out today, she downloaded a pregnancy app for her phone and decided to text me this morning to tell me that I'm 11 weeks today and all the major developments for the baby this week (as if I didn't know). Seriously? Moms need to learn some boundaries!

JemHolo2015 · February 2015

This didn't happen to me with this pregnancy, but I had a previous miscarriage last year and my mom told family about it after I explicitly told her not to. I was livid. With this pregnancy I told her fairly early and she commented that I didn't seem excited. I told her that we were actually beyond excited, but that telling her stressed me out because of what happened last time. I told her she had lost my trust and this was her chance to earn it back.

She didn't tell anyone (that I know of), but she did pressure me to tell family every time I spoke to her, which I found just as annoying!! I told her we wanted to tell my husband's father before anyone else. We told him at 9 weeks at Christmas, and when she called that day the first thing out of her mouth was "oh good you can tell grandpa now!" No, "how did they react?" Or even "how was Christmas?" I got mad, and then she guilt tripped me for "ruining this for her."

Parents: they are insane.

EmJ628 · February 2015

My mom is not typically overbearing but she is driving me nuts with this. Every time we talk she asks if she can tell people. I am 11 wks and honestly we would have told people after the 1st ultrasound last week but now I am waiting til we get past 12 wks (don't push me mom!) haha. Moms will drive you nuts sometimes, I am sure we will do it to our kids one day!

xcitdmomma · February 2015

I think everyone who I told knows I'd react very unpleasantly if I found out they betrayed my trust...

koyangi87 · February 2015

My mother.... In addition to being pregnant, me and my fiance are getting married when I'll be 17 weeks along. My mom decides to invite a whole bunch of her friends to my wedding, despite me emphasizing it was going to be small wedding, like 30 people max. And then she realizes that a lot of her friends might not come, seeing as how I'm pregnant, but how will they know that I'm pregnant unless she tells them all so they can choose whether or not to come???!? (A lot of her friends and her are very religious and most would choose not to attend a wedding where they know the bride or groom has committed premarital sex, blah blah.)

I almost murdered her through the phone when she told me. And then she's like oohhhh but they've known you since you were a baby, you have to invite them! No. No I do not. I have not seen these people in 15 years or longer, nor spent more than 30 seconds saying hi to them in 25 years. They all ignored me and cut off association with me when I left the church, so I do not care to have any of those people there.

GAAAHHHHH. Luckily, they all politely declined. Still might kill my mother.

bashfulbird · February 2015

@koyangi87 What an awkward situation your mother created, I hope you get the wedding you want.

hrthrncl · February 2015

I waited to tell my mom for that exact reason. I wouldn't speak to her if I were you. And if she confronts you, let her know exactly why.

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