Entertain me today!

Flamingemu · January 2015

amandad715 said:

Would you guys consider a 2m old to be a "child" at a wedding? DH's childhood friend is getting married in Charlottesville, VA in March. We thought we'd make a long weekend out of it and take Sam. We did not even consider taking Jack& Will, since it was just DH & I invited. The ceremony & reception are all at the same resort, so I could step away back to our room to nurse or put Sam to bed. The groom told DH he had to check & then basically said we couldn't bring Sam bc they're not inviting many kids. I get it bc our wedding was pretty tight w/#s but I'm sure we would have made an exception for a 2m old baby who is nursing, who'd be sleeping in a car seat. Oh and he knew it was just Sam. So now I'm bummed DH might still go & bc my BIL (DH's twin) & SIL are going. Andplusalso, it sounds like a really cool wedding. ::Putting flame retardant suit on::

Can you invite a sitter or something to stay at the resort? Ask around and see if anyone else plans to bring their kids and go in on a sitter together. If it is close enough then you can nurse, and go back to the party.

I would count a 2mo old as a child and think that babies can be more disruptive than toddlers. You can't always easily make a baby stop crying.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

Flamingemu said:

Your engineers don't all wear ill fitting kakis and short sleeve button ups? That seems to be the standard uniform.

LOL isn't that the truth! I guess it's a trade-off. We try to hire abnormal engineers (aka, more 'normal' people) so they don't come with khakis and short sleeve button ups, but they also don't have enough common sense to manage a casual dress environment

)

kelbel527 · January 2015

@amandad715 - Just to clarify, there will be some kids there? Just not a lot? Then I really see no sense in excluding a 2mo baby. Is the bride afraid a baby might cry and ruin her day or something? When it's a discussion about whether or not I'd allow a 2 mo old nursing baby or have someone not be able to come because of it, I'd include the baby.

Maybe you can still go for the weekend and then just stay back for the wedding? Does the groom know that you'd have to stay home if you can't bring Sam? I'd be totally bummed about it.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

Flamingemu said:

I would count a 2mo old as a child and think that babies can be more disruptive than toddlers. You can't always easily make a baby stop crying.

Interesting, I think an infant is less disruptive than a toddler. If it's distractions they are concerned about, certainly a courteous set of parents would be able to step outside or not bring the infant into the ceremony at all. I would think the friend could just be open about what it is they are concerned about. Of course, who knows what kind of whacko stuff I was concerned about for my wedding. It is really hard to understand anything to do with kids when you don't have them.... pre-kid me included.

Pokedot · January 2015

Flamingemu said:

amandad715 said:

Would you guys consider a 2m old to be a "child" at a wedding? DH's childhood friend is getting married in Charlottesville, VA in March. We thought we'd make a long weekend out of it and take Sam. We did not even consider taking Jack& Will, since it was just DH & I invited. The ceremony & reception are all at the same resort, so I could step away back to our room to nurse or put Sam to bed. The groom told DH he had to check & then basically said we couldn't bring Sam bc they're not inviting many kids. I get it bc our wedding was pretty tight w/#s but I'm sure we would have made an exception for a 2m old baby who is nursing, who'd be sleeping in a car seat. Oh and he knew it was just Sam. So now I'm bummed DH might still go & bc my BIL (DH's twin) & SIL are going. Andplusalso, it sounds like a really cool wedding. ::Putting flame retardant suit on::

Can you invite a sitter or something to stay at the resort? Ask around and see if anyone else plans to bring their kids and go in on a sitter together. If it is close enough then you can nurse, and go back to the party.

I would count a 2mo old as a child and think that babies can be more disruptive than toddlers. You can't always easily make a baby stop crying.

This was actually my first thought sorry Amanda. I'd check around like Emu said and see if there is a babysitter. We had no kids at our wedding and I'm happy we didn't. Actually I take that back we had 4. 3 of which were my cousins and one was our niece. No other kids. Everyone loved the fact that they got a night out without them and several in our wedding party had children at the time.

ETA: No one had a newborn and a nursing one at that however.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

I guess regardless of what is right or wrong, they said no. So if I were you, I would still go on the trip but just miss the wedding

That is a big bag of SUCK, but it's not like you can counter on their No.

ETA: I didn't really mean right vs wrong, more of what I think is appropriate vs what they think is appropriate. It's their party, so they are 'right'.

kelbel527 · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Flamingemu said:

I would count a 2mo old as a child and think that babies can be more disruptive than toddlers. You can't always easily make a baby stop crying.

Interesting, I think an infant is less disruptive than a toddler. If it's distractions they are concerned about, certainly a courteous set of parents would be able to step outside or not bring the infant into the ceremony at all. I would think the friend could just be open about what it is they are concerned about. Of course, who knows what kind of whacko stuff I was concerned about for my wedding. It is really hard to understand anything to do with kids when you don't have them.... pre-kid me included.

I'm in the baby is less disruptive than a toddler camp. Especially a two month old baby. If he starts crying, you can just walk out. A baby has the chance of sleeping through the ceremony. There is about 0% chance either of my boys as toddlers would make it through a ceremony. In fact, I missed step-sister's entire wedding because Aedan wouldn't sit quietly through the ceremony. He was just under a year.

Flamingemu · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Flamingemu said:

I would count a 2mo old as a child and think that babies can be more disruptive than toddlers. You can't always easily make a baby stop crying.

Interesting, I think an infant is less disruptive than a toddler. If it's distractions they are concerned about, certainly a courteous set of parents would be able to step outside or not bring the infant into the ceremony at all. I would think the friend could just be open about what it is they are concerned about. Of course, who knows what kind of whacko stuff I was concerned about for my wedding. It is really hard to understand anything to do with kids when you don't have them.... pre-kid me included.

Normally I would totally agree. I am just thinking that the initial crying and the time it took you to get up and out of the church would be what irritated me (as a bride). The toddler I could at least entertain with food or her tablet.

I also think that the bride & groom should just tell you the truth about their reservations.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

If I went to a wedding with an infant, I would just stand in the back. Unless it's a full Catholic ceremony, then I'd take the no kids rule as a blessing in disguise and watch reruns of Friends in the hotel room, hahahaha. I'm only half way kidding.

amandad715 · January 2015

No one else in DH's group of friends is bringing kids(2y/olds and up) so going in on a baby-sitter is out. We may make the trip together and I may opt out of the wedding part, just need to check airline prices still. If it's ridiculous, I'll stay back.

I was also in the camp of "an infant is less disturbing than a toddler" but hadnt thought about crying & getting him out of the ceremony space quickly enough.

There are kids (not sure the ages) but it's "just family". Like I said, I get it bc we had to do the "just family" (our nephews) and 1 flower girl who was a family friend's daughter. But if asked I would have made an Exception for a nursing 2m old, especially for an out of town wedding.

Thx! DH is probably more bummed than me actually.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

Do you all remember this photo? I remember it hitting the news around the time our S12s were born.

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/09/22/article-1314283-0B4D596E000005DC-686_634x373.jpg

So after my 6w ML, I have the option of taking the baby to work for a month or so. WWYD?

I did a lot of work from home with W during my maternity leave last time, and I remember being so fucking overwhelmed. I wonder if I felt that way because I had to work a lot during my ML, deal with unwanted visitors and depression, and I could never quite catch up.

The mama bear in me thinks I do not want my 6wo in child care if I could keep her with me, and I would be more successful with BF, so who cares if it makes my work suffer? But I don't see how it would not be overwhelming. I can't see getting more than a half a day's work done throughout the day, but is even that expecting too much?

Thoughts?

TiffanyT85 · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Flamingemu said:

Your engineers don't all wear ill fitting kakis and short sleeve button ups? That seems to be the standard uniform.

LOL isn't that the truth! I guess it's a trade-off. We try to hire abnormal engineers (aka, more 'normal' people) so they don't come with khakis and short sleeve button ups, but they also don't have enough common sense to manage a casual dress environment

)

I swear some of us know how to dress

Maybe we should have a "how to dress for work" class in uni, lol!

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

TiffanyT85 said:

I swear some of us know how to dress Maybe we should have a "how to dress for work" class in uni, lol!

Female engineers typically dress well!

But I thought a "how to dress for work" class was definitely in order for univ. education majors. I can't even tell you the shit first year teachers would wear when I was teaching! Yoga pants, flip flops, victoria secret clothing (you have to admit, most of it makes you wonder if it's a pajama or daywear). Maybe a general professionalism class would have been better - because they all showed up late, too. Engineers don't seem to have the latter problem

BeebopandBuddy · January 2015

We have casual dress at work and, I admit, I definitely take advantage in the winter. I don't have a lot of nice boots so I end up in jeans, a sweater and my Uggs more than I should. I am much better when it's warm because I have a thousand pairs of flats and lots of cute shirts. Reason 43, 571 that I hate winter.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

W was the only kid at the babysitter's yesterday. The sitter's original text (over a month ago) said she needed through Wed off, but the piece of paper she taped to her door Jan 1 said she only needed through Tuesday off. So we took our kid.

Turns out the other moms texted her on Tuesday and asked if they needed to find a sitter for Thursday since they hadn't heard from her - and she replied that she was open Thurs (WHY didn't she clarify that she was also open Wed?).

After being off so many days I think it would have been nice for her to send a text to everyone on Tuesday to say, "Look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Thank you for your support during this hard time."

Anyway.................................. whatever.

MRoxy0628 · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Do you all remember this photo? I remember it hitting the news around the time our S12s were born.

So after my 6w ML, I have the option of taking the baby to work for a month or so. WWYD?

I did a lot of work from home with W during my maternity leave last time, and I remember being so fucking overwhelmed. I wonder if I felt that way because I had to work a lot during my ML, deal with unwanted visitors and depression, and I could never quite catch up.

The mama bear in me thinks I do not want my 6wo in child care if I could keep her with me, and I would be more successful with BF, so who cares if it makes my work suffer? But I don't see how it would not be overwhelming. I can't see getting more than a half a day's work done throughout the day, but is even that expecting too much?

Thoughts?

If I had the type of job where I could do that, I would. If they gave you that option, they probably know that your work might suffer a bit. I don't remember what it was like to have a 6 week old though. I think they're still sleeping quite a bit, so you'd just be really productive while she was sleeping.

hmp1 · January 2015

Flamingemu said:

amandad715 said:

Would you guys consider a 2m old to be a "child" at a wedding? DH's childhood friend is getting married in Charlottesville, VA in March. We thought we'd make a long weekend out of it and take Sam. We did not even consider taking Jack& Will, since it was just DH & I invited. The ceremony & reception are all at the same resort, so I could step away back to our room to nurse or put Sam to bed. The groom told DH he had to check & then basically said we couldn't bring Sam bc they're not inviting many kids. I get it bc our wedding was pretty tight w/#s but I'm sure we would have made an exception for a 2m old baby who is nursing, who'd be sleeping in a car seat. Oh and he knew it was just Sam. So now I'm bummed DH might still go & bc my BIL (DH's twin) & SIL are going. Andplusalso, it sounds like a really cool wedding. ::Putting flame retardant suit on::

Can you invite a sitter or something to stay at the resort? Ask around and see if anyone else plans to bring their kids and go in on a sitter together. If it is close enough then you can nurse, and go back to the party.

I would count a 2mo old as a child and think that babies can be more disruptive than toddlers. You can't always easily make a baby stop crying.

I agree with this. I don't usually think of a "no kids wedding" being about saving money per plate but more about wanting an adult only atmosphere. A baby will still cry at some point.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

MRoxy0628 said:

If I had the type of job where I could do that, I would. If they gave you that option, they probably know that your work might suffer a bit. I don't remember what it was like to have a 6 week old though. I think they're still sleeping quite a bit, so you'd just be really productive while she was sleeping.

This is what I"m trying to remember. I don't remember anything!

MarisaKathleen · January 2015

Baby at the wedding.

Sorry, I'm the asshole. We had "just family" at our wedding which included 1 niece and 1 nephew, both of who were in the wedding. I excluded everyone else's kids, baby or not.

I guess I look at it that everything doesn't need to be a family affair. Out of town weddings are different, like in this situation with amanda715, but by and large, I don't think kids need to go to weddings. My BFF's wedding in 2013 had around 100 kids. It sucked. It was at a casino in a gorgeous ballroom and you had kids running everywhere because the parents weren't paying attention. The only weddings I ever intend to take my kids to when they're little are ones that they'll be standing up in.

I know you're all going to go "well my kids were at a wedding and they were angels" and that's all fine, but that's the exception then and not the rule based on every wedding with kids I've attended.

misscheapandchic · January 2015

I'm totally laughing at the socially awkward engineering dress code because that is my husband's team to a T. The too short shirts and holey jeans are my husbands staples (granted not at work!), and the short sleeve plaid shirts and khakis definitely are definitely staples of his coworkers.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

Does anyone have a bitty baby (from American Girls)?

hmp1 · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Do you all remember this photo? I remember it hitting the news around the time our S12s were born.

So after my 6w ML, I have the option of taking the baby to work for a month or so. WWYD?

I did a lot of work from home with W during my maternity leave last time, and I remember being so fucking overwhelmed. I wonder if I felt that way because I had to work a lot during my ML, deal with unwanted visitors and depression, and I could never quite catch up.

The mama bear in me thinks I do not want my 6wo in child care if I could keep her with me, and I would be more successful with BF, so who cares if it makes my work suffer? But I don't see how it would not be overwhelming. I can't see getting more than a half a day's work done throughout the day, but is even that expecting too much?

Thoughts?

We (eta: meaning S12, my office has never allowed this) had a couple people back in the day that took their newborn to work with them. They seemed to manage it well. I was actually thinking that if I got unexpectedly knocked up right now, I would probably keep the baby home with me (after my 3 month ML) until James started school to avoid 3 in daycare. Assuming you get a pretty chill kid, both mine were, I could manage a non-mobile baby while working. But it totally depends on your work environment. Are you having to run out your door to handle fires or are you pretty much able to handle everything from in your office. And are you able to drop what you are doing to feed the baby or rock her?

Pokedot · January 2015

MarisaKathleen said:

Baby at the wedding.

Sorry, I'm the asshole. We had "just family" at our wedding which included 1 niece and 1 nephew, both of who were in the wedding. I excluded everyone else's kids, baby or not.

I guess I look at it that everything doesn't need to be a family affair. Out of town weddings are different, like in this situation with amanda715, but by and large, I don't think kids need to go to weddings. My BFF's wedding in 2013 had around 100 kids. It sucked. It was at a casino in a gorgeous ballroom and you had kids running everywhere because the parents weren't paying attention. The only weddings I ever intend to take my kids to when they're little are ones that they'll be standing up in.

I know you're all going to go "well my kids were at a wedding and they were angels" and that's all fine, but that's the exception then and not the rule based on every wedding with kids I've attended.

I really, really, really don't like children at a wedding. Nursing baby is a bit different to me especially an OOT wedding but kids running everywhere and using it as a free for all, no.thank.you. I remember going to a wedding and the bride and her dad were having their dance. About 20 kids stood right next to them and played in between and under her dress. So disrespectful. If a kid is standing it's one thing but to bring your munchkins along for the entire night. No thanks. I look at a wedding as a time for DH and I unless of course B was standing.

Like I said we had 4 kids there that was it and it was perfect.

Flamingemu · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Does anyone have a bitty baby (from American Girls)?

L got one for a Christmas present last year.

kelbel527 · January 2015

hmp1 said:

Flamingemu said:

amandad715 said:

Would you guys consider a 2m old to be a "child" at a wedding? DH's childhood friend is getting married in Charlottesville, VA in March. We thought we'd make a long weekend out of it and take Sam. We did not even consider taking Jack& Will, since it was just DH & I invited. The ceremony & reception are all at the same resort, so I could step away back to our room to nurse or put Sam to bed. The groom told DH he had to check & then basically said we couldn't bring Sam bc they're not inviting many kids. I get it bc our wedding was pretty tight w/#s but I'm sure we would have made an exception for a 2m old baby who is nursing, who'd be sleeping in a car seat. Oh and he knew it was just Sam. So now I'm bummed DH might still go & bc my BIL (DH's twin) & SIL are going. Andplusalso, it sounds like a really cool wedding. ::Putting flame retardant suit on::

Can you invite a sitter or something to stay at the resort? Ask around and see if anyone else plans to bring their kids and go in on a sitter together. If it is close enough then you can nurse, and go back to the party.

I would count a 2mo old as a child and think that babies can be more disruptive than toddlers. You can't always easily make a baby stop crying.

I agree with this. I don't usually think of a "no kids wedding" being about saving money per plate but more about wanting an adult only atmosphere. A baby will still cry at some point.

However, she said there will be kids at the wedding, just not a lot of them. So it's not a "no kids wedding."

I have only taken our kids to one wedding, my step-sister's and Brody was the ring bearer. I prefer to keep them home and enjoy the time just DH and I. We are taking the boys to a wedding in May for a friend and mostly because our best friend's kids (the bride's niece & nephew) are in the wedding, and we will be hanging out with them a lot. It's also at an indoor waterpark, so it's very family friendly environment. Knowing the bride, she will love having the kids there.

We had only 2 kids at our wedding, but I wouldn't have cared if there were 20. To me, weddings are a family event. You're celebrating the start of a new family. If a baby started crying in the middle of the ceremony, I wouldn't have thought twice. I just didn't take it that seriously. We did have a gigantic bumble bee that was a hilarious distraction during our ceremony (which ended with my uncle stomping on it).

(all of that said, I always go with the bride and groom's wishes, I just may not always agree with them)

MRoxy0628 · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

Does anyone have a bitty baby (from American Girls)?

Yes. She got one for Christmas from my in-laws. I wasn't too happy about it since she already has a few and $80 seems like a lot to spend on a doll for a 2 year old, BUT she likes it and has treated it well.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

@flamingemu @mroxy0628 I was considering getting W one, but now I'm realizing that is so dumb. She has two small babies that aren't great quality but she loves them. So if I got her a bitty baby, then we'd be lugging 3 babies everywhere. Glad I came to my senses! Maybe when something happens to one of these I'll reconsider.

MRoxy0628 · January 2015

tinyhumantoe said:

@flamingemu @mroxy0628 I was considering getting W one, but now I'm realizing that is so dumb. She has two small babies that aren't great quality but she loves them. So if I got her a bitty baby, then we'd be lugging 3 babies everywhere. Glad I came to my senses! Maybe when something happens to one of these I'll reconsider.

Yeah, we're currently lugging 4 babies to daycare everyday. I know I don't have to, but it's not that much of an inconvenience. Is there something else she's been coveting (does a 2 year old even do that?)? Or a character or show she's really into? Or maybe an accessory for the baby, like a high chair or stroller? Lily loves her baby stroller.

AlinnJo · January 2015

We just got a Meijer last May. It's so wonderful because our only other option is Wal-Mart. It's a million times better than wal-mart but is definitely more expensive. Totally worth it. And yes, they have way more produce, natural and organic options. But it doesn't come anywhere close to the clothes, shoes or home goods that target has.

MommaP12 · January 2015

Pokedot said:

MarisaKathleen said:

Baby at the wedding.

Sorry, I'm the asshole. We had "just family" at our wedding which included 1 niece and 1 nephew, both of who were in the wedding. I excluded everyone else's kids, baby or not.

I guess I look at it that everything doesn't need to be a family affair. Out of town weddings are different, like in this situation with amanda715, but by and large, I don't think kids need to go to weddings. My BFF's wedding in 2013 had around 100 kids. It sucked. It was at a casino in a gorgeous ballroom and you had kids running everywhere because the parents weren't paying attention. The only weddings I ever intend to take my kids to when they're little are ones that they'll be standing up in.

I know you're all going to go "well my kids were at a wedding and they were angels" and that's all fine, but that's the exception then and not the rule based on every wedding with kids I've attended.

I really, really, really don't like children at a wedding. Nursing baby is a bit different to me especially an OOT wedding but kids running everywhere and using it as a free for all, no.thank.you. I remember going to a wedding and the bride and her dad were having their dance. About 20 kids stood right next to them and played in between and under her dress. So disrespectful. If a kid is standing it's one thing but to bring your munchkins along for the entire night. No thanks. I look at a wedding as a time for DH and I unless of course B was standing.
Like I said we had 4 kids there that was it and it was perfect.

This is how I feel too. My wedding was "no kids" and I don't bring my kids to family weddings - and we have a lot on DH's side because he has 17 first cousins. We have my parents baby sit when we have a wedding on his side and look at it as a night out. My DS has been to one wedding - my SIL bc he was the ringbearer. My kids are in my sister's wedding in June which is of course different also.

I have not had a dress code for work since 2004. Jeans have been my norm since then. Hooray for working in Marketing/Advertising and in eCommerce!

I really don't like Meijer. I just don't "get it" I'd rather just go to Target. Where I live they are across from either so I never set foot in Meijer.

hmp1 · January 2015

kelbel527 said:

hmp1 said:

Flamingemu said:

amandad715 said:

Would you guys consider a 2m old to be a "child" at a wedding? DH's childhood friend is getting married in Charlottesville, VA in March. We thought we'd make a long weekend out of it and take Sam. We did not even consider taking Jack& Will, since it was just DH & I invited. The ceremony & reception are all at the same resort, so I could step away back to our room to nurse or put Sam to bed. The groom told DH he had to check & then basically said we couldn't bring Sam bc they're not inviting many kids. I get it bc our wedding was pretty tight w/#s but I'm sure we would have made an exception for a 2m old baby who is nursing, who'd be sleeping in a car seat. Oh and he knew it was just Sam. So now I'm bummed DH might still go & bc my BIL (DH's twin) & SIL are going. Andplusalso, it sounds like a really cool wedding. ::Putting flame retardant suit on::

Can you invite a sitter or something to stay at the resort? Ask around and see if anyone else plans to bring their kids and go in on a sitter together. If it is close enough then you can nurse, and go back to the party.

I would count a 2mo old as a child and think that babies can be more disruptive than toddlers. You can't always easily make a baby stop crying.

I agree with this. I don't usually think of a "no kids wedding" being about saving money per plate but more about wanting an adult only atmosphere. A baby will still cry at some point.

However, she said there will be kids at the wedding, just not a lot of them. So it's not a "no kids wedding."

I also see a difference in your nieces and nephews being invited vs all my friends from college, bring your kids. So a "no kids" to me still just means your not open inviting families even if a few close kids will be there. And I've never been to a wedding that didn't have people from out of town, so that isn't an automatic acceptance of a baby welcome either to me. We had out of town friends/family decline for one reason or another. Part of planning the wedding is to expect people not to be able to come based on the decisions you made (date/time, no kids, location...).

We had tons of kids at our wedding and loved it. That is the kind of wedding we planned though, it was an afternoon wedding. Bottom line, bride/wedding couple is always right. She gets her day as she wants it just like you got yours as you wanted it.

AKB090609 · January 2015

@tinyhuman‌toe I would take a 6 week old to work if it were an option. DD2 was (and is) a difficult baby, but she has always been happiest in a carrier, at that point she was awake for 30 minutes at a time, would eat and then sleep for 1-2 hours. Now, at 6.5months I would not want her at work with me because she doesn't nap much and wants to move more, but if I had an office and could close the door I would still be pretty productive.

Hyaline · January 2015

amandad715 said:

Would you guys consider a 2m old to be a "child" at a wedding? DH's childhood friend is getting married in Charlottesville, VA in March. We thought we'd make a long weekend out of it and take Sam. We did not even consider taking Jack& Will, since it was just DH & I invited. The ceremony & reception are all at the same resort, so I could step away back to our room to nurse or put Sam to bed. The groom told DH he had to check & then basically said we couldn't bring Sam bc they're not inviting many kids. I get it bc our wedding was pretty tight w/#s but I'm sure we would have made an exception for a 2m old baby who is nursing, who'd be sleeping in a car seat. Oh and he knew it was just Sam. So now I'm bummed DH might still go & bc my BIL (DH's twin) & SIL are going. Andplusalso, it sounds like a really cool wedding. ::Putting flame retardant suit on::

Yes. And no.

I mean, a 2 mo old is most definitely a child, but I think most people who "get it" make an exception for tiny babies because it's kind of impossible to travel and not bring them along. (Full disclosure: We had a "no kids" wedding--no kids under 12--but made an exception for infants. Because we're not clueless people.)

I do get the "firm rule" kind of logic, though, of saying "we aren't inviting any kids because once we invite one, suddenly everyone is there or pissed they weren't invited." My aunt got all "I thought this was no kids" huffy when my friend had her baby sitting on her lap at our wedding. Um, she lives three hours away and needs to nurse her kid. Your hellion grandchildren are happier at the sitters'. So I get not wanting to have that argument with people.

Hyaline · January 2015

MRoxy0628 said:

tinyhumantoe said:

Do you all remember this photo? I remember it hitting the news around the time our S12s were born.

So after my 6w ML, I have the option of taking the baby to work for a month or so. WWYD?

I did a lot of work from home with W during my maternity leave last time, and I remember being so fucking overwhelmed. I wonder if I felt that way because I had to work a lot during my ML, deal with unwanted visitors and depression, and I could never quite catch up.

The mama bear in me thinks I do not want my 6wo in child care if I could keep her with me, and I would be more successful with BF, so who cares if it makes my work suffer? But I don't see how it would not be overwhelming. I can't see getting more than a half a day's work done throughout the day, but is even that expecting too much?

Thoughts?

If I had the type of job where I could do that, I would. If they gave you that option, they probably know that your work might suffer a bit. I don't remember what it was like to have a 6 week old though. I think they're still sleeping quite a bit, so you'd just be really productive while she was sleeping.

Do you have to decide 100%, no backing out, right now? Because I think a lot also depends on the child. A friend had a baby a month after me and took her work with her from 6 wks through recently (incredibly supportive employer, FWIW) and loved the experience. Worked great for them. But her daughter is this chill little biscuit. DD was colicky, demanding, and never slept more than the minimum at a stretch during the day. Trying to work with her would have been a disaster. So maybe stay open to the idea but flexible to dropping it if isn't working?

smb+jab · January 2015

kid or babies at weddings is always a tricky topic but i think it always defers to what the bride and groom say.

we had strict no kids at our wedding policy. we were 26 when we were married and it was mainly b/c we didn't want his wacky cousins to bring all their little ones - a large number of children. Might things be different now... being married in our 30's maybe.

i think a 2 month old would possibly be less disruptive (if they can sleep through the noise) than a toddler. However is it possible for you to find a sitter for a little bit - maybe a church lady? You mentioned it was your H's childhood friend so would you be able have one of the mom's put you in contact with someone that offers babysitting for a couple of hours. That way you could attend the reception and still nurse the baby? or bring along a friend? I know one of our good friends often brings her friend rose along to weddings to watch her son (he's now five so they have a system that works!).

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

I completely agree that it depends on the kid @harti09 @hyaline

I don't have to decide now. W was a terrible little debil. I have high hopes for #2 and plan to get her used to my beco butterfly carrier and moving around early on. The RNP would be easy to take to work, and I have a spare office right next to me she could go in for good naps.

smb+jab · January 2015

@tinyhumantoe - i could see taking a baby to work - as long as they aren't a colicky baby! or acid reflux - i remember i had to keep Grant in specific positions to keep him comfortable and then he still spit up everywhere. We went through many outfit changes. not conducive to an office environment

I mean they eat, sleep, poop in those first couple of months so really if they are just sleeping in a little pack and play in an office next to you, you could work... I would wait to see how your little one wants too cooperate first before committing.

tinyhumantoe · January 2015

I just wanted to say that I love kids at weddings. LOVE. And shame on parents for being total shitheads and not wrangling the cretins during the ceremony, first dance, cake cutting, etc. When we went to Great Wolf Lodge I saw so many shithead parents - holy cow. I couldn't' believe it.

willy_gert · January 2015

Hey! I'm at the hospital for DH's surgery. We had to be here at 7:30 supposedly for his 8:30 surgery, yeah they just started at 1pm. WTAF?!?!?!

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