didn't take the news well

hfarrell143 · January 2015

Anyone else tell someone important to them the news and they flipped?
Not a good feeling.

Lemon200 · January 2015

My boyfriend's father is still not 100% on board. When we told them, he didn't really say anything, he didn't congratulate us, all he said was "Yep, kids change things."

Even a month later he purses his lips and disengages from the conversation when anything baby related comes up. It upsets me but at the end of the day I'm having this baby and he can either be unhappy in his corner or join in the excitement. I try to not let it affect my day.

elc9311 · January 2015

I had that happen my first pregnancy. Someone who was supposed to be my best friend actually hung up on me, called my mother, and started yelling about how I was ruining my life. Not a good feeling at all. Then, when I lost that baby, I couldn't turn to her for support.

lbpete13 · January 2015

Sounds like this person is less important than you thought. You don't need any negativity.

chavemann10 · January 2015

Everyone has been happy for use, except my dad. His response, "One more? Why not 6 more? Seriously, what were you thinking?" My response..."Whatever the F*** I want to be thinking!!"

taylorharber1108 · January 2015

My Mother-in-Laws response was "uh oh". I was like seriously?

MellieBellie82 · January 2015

I told my younger brother and he said, he didn't need to have another niece or nephew he wasn't able to see (distance). I said too late, the deed is done. And he was like, oh, I didn't think you guys were that serious.

My BF is six years younger than me, that's why, and two years younger than my brother.

littleleo07 · January 2015

Not told anyone apart from the father he not spoke since @-)

lovepink2007 · January 2015

I am nine weeks. DH and I are still keeping the secret.

Sorry to hear but brush it off & focus your energy on those who are happy for you.

pathower · January 2015

The only people who didnt take it well was the in laws. They gave us a spectacular speech on how we aren't ready for a baby and how we cant afford it and how we wont be able to raise it right.
I haven't talked to them since. At least my side of the family and my husband are on my side.

Princessn678 · January 2015

I haven't had any negativey yet, but I have not told my brother, and I know its not going to go well. He has never been happy for me about anything in my life, he is mean, so I know he is going to say something to hurt me. I might end up cutting him out of my life depending on how he response.

hfarrell143 · January 2015

Well I feel better that im not alone in this boat! It sucks when it is coming from your own mother who said "well this is terrible news". So yes she can sit in her own sad corner or join in. I guess I was just expecting a different response.

emshredder · January 2015

Told my brother and his wife on Christmas eve. They were really silent and then his wife ran to the bathroom crying. Still my brother says nothing then I get called to the bathroom by the wife and she tells me they have been trying with no luck. I had no idea. So awkward. Not one congratulations.

melninas · January 2015

Not yet, but I am dreading telling my parents for this reason. If they are not happy for us then they don't have to be a part of our lives. I am 30 years old and have been on my own since 18...I don't need the negativity. In laws couldn't be happier tho!

nakoppel · January 2015

I got negative reactions from my parents and someone who was suppose to be my best friends. My parents said I was dooming myself to a life of poverty and unfulfilled dreams. And my best friend told me to give my baby up for adoption

1stbambino · January 2015

I have someone who I'm waiting to tell for this reason. She didn't do so well when i got married and had since made amends but I'm worried that this will be the final nail in the coffin of our friendship.

JumpAroundBucky · January 2015

My brother said, "Uhhh, so does this mean I have to be an uncle?" He hates kids; I wasn't surprised. He's still super awkward around my son, but he's an awkward person in general.

tessiedu · January 2015

Lots of bad reactions. Hang in there.

evolala13 · January 2015

Told the BIL , he and his wife have been married 2 years and trying to conceive, but we had to tell the news and the only response was "ok"

I feel bad for people like that, if you choose to be miserable that's your problem.

Sorry for your unexpected reactions! Just focus on your family

KristinaD217 · January 2015

My s.o.'s grand parents said "oh no, that's not good" and truthfully that besides my 13y/o sisters responce of "I don't want to be an aunt" (please read that with as much whining as you can muster) that was the worst. But, my great grandmother who, really, comes from a diffrent time, asked me if I was thrilled. She knows that, if it had been possible, we would have been married last year.

curryfamily · January 2015

KirianaTi said:

evolala13 said:

Told the BIL , he and his wife have been married 2 years and trying to conceive, but we had to tell the news and the only response was "ok"

I feel bad for people like that, if you choose to be miserable that's your problem.

Sorry for your unexpected reactions! Just focus on your family

IF is incredibly stressful. It was always hard for me to cope with others' announcements.

I had IF issues. We tried for 6 years before this blessing. I was always happy and over the moon for my friends/family that got pregnant. I would never wish IF issues on anyone and even though I know its fuatrating I would never act so rude toward a person giving me such wonderful news. Those people are going to want others to be happy for them when they get pregnant so they should offer the same courtesy. I hate when people use excuses for being an ass.

numb3rMel · January 2015

@brazilianpeaches I less than three you.

gidgetgirl08 · January 2015

evolala13 said:

Told the BIL , he and his wife have been married 2 years and trying to conceive, but we had to tell the news and the only response was "ok" I feel bad for people like that, if you choose to be miserable that's your problem. Sorry for your unexpected reactions! Just focus on your family

This is an incredibly insensitive statement! If you knew they were ttc and dumped this on them in a group setting, shame on you. Always give news like that to couples struggling with IF in email/text so they have time to process before they have to put a smile on their face and congratulate you because deep down they are happy for you, but emotions are a bitch and sometimes you just need a little courtesy and understanding. Especially from family.

emassouros · January 2015

We told my fiancés mom and sister last night... it wasn't really positive OR negative. It was sort of "oh....."

I know that his sister has wanted children for years, and I am empathetic to her situation. I should also add- my fiancé was once married to a less than lovely lady who made things a living hell for all of them. I think they will come around, but until then- MY family is insanely excited.

emshredder · January 2015

I didn't know my brother and SIL were TTC but after I told them and they reacted the way they did I didn't blame them for not reacting the way I wanted them to. Its hard to put your own feelings aside for the sake of others. Especially when it has to do with something so sensitive. I'm the unmarried 21 year old little sister that got pregnant before my brother who married to his high school sweetheart. I feel bad but at the same time am happy.

Ampaints · January 2015

curryfamily said:

KirianaTi said:

evolala13 said:

Told the BIL , he and his wife have been married 2 years and trying to conceive, but we had to tell the news and the only response was "ok"

I feel bad for people like that, if you choose to be miserable that's your problem.

Sorry for your unexpected reactions! Just focus on your family

IF is incredibly stressful. It was always hard for me to cope with others' announcements.

I had IF issues. We tried for 6 years before this blessing. I was always happy and over the moon for my friends/family that got pregnant. I would never wish IF issues on anyone and even though I know its fuatrating I would never act so rude toward a person giving me such wonderful news. Those people are going to want others to be happy for them when they get pregnant so they should offer the same courtesy. I hate when people use excuses for being an ass.

****QB fail****

Maybe you're a better actor than myself ams friends dealing with IF. Just because this is your reaction doesn't mean everyone should or could be the same. I've had mixed reactions in my 8 years of TTC. Sometimes I cried for days and others I was over the moon in a short time. When we announced to my cousin who is also going through IF I didn't know she had had a canceled cycle recently. It was devastating to her to hear my news. She called me the other day to apologize and I spent more time telling her there was nothing to apologize for. IF fucking sucks. It's not an excuse and not being an ass to have difficulty hearing someone else has achieved what you are putting your body through hell for.

poppymt40 · January 2015

emilyshredder said:
Told my brother and his wife on Christmas eve. They were really silent and then his wife ran to the bathroom crying. Still my brother says nothing then I get called to the bathroom by the wife and she tells me they have been trying with no luck. I had no idea. So awkward. Not one congratulations.

My SIL announced their third while my husband and I were in the midst of having been trying for a while. We had fertility issues. I think you should be more sensitive and try to understand what their going through. I was happy for my SIL, however, at the same time I wanted nothing to do with her while we were still trying. Being surrounded by her little ones running around and seeing her pregnant belly was just a constant reminder of what my husband and I longed for, it was very painful. Show some compassion to her and it will go a long way....they need your support.

AshK1027 · January 2015

My mother freaked!!! I think it was more of a mid-life crisis kind of thing, but she freakened nonetheless. I'm not looking forward to telling my FIL. Both husband and I know it won't be nice.

emshredder · January 2015

@poppymt40‌ okay for one you don't know what I did. I cried with my SIL because I know how much she's always wanted kids. Its heartbreaking to watch them go through that. So don't tell me I should have been more sensitive. After they told me that the rest of the night I didn't say anything more about me being pregnant. And it did hurt me that my brother couldn't even say congratulations.. but those are my feelings and I don't have to be sorry for being a little sad.

GirlOnTheBeach · January 2015

emilyshredder said:
@poppymt40‌ " And it did hurt me that my brother couldn't even say congratulations.."

He was probably too focused on his wife's (and his own) grief to focus on how YOU were feeling at that very moment. He loves you, you know he'll be happy for you. Why isn't that enough? They've been through a lot if they've struggled with infertility. Cut them some slack on the whole "celebrating your pregnancy" for a minute.

My sister in law and her husband struggled for years and weren't able to have children at all. When we told them, she basically told us off about telling people because we might lose the baby. Then was mad we'd told DH's mom before her. Was I upset? No. We struggled with IF and losses too so I understood that her words were coming from the pain related to their situation. After a few days, when her emotions settled down, she congratulated us. I'm sure it was tough for her to do that, but she did, and we only mention the pregnancy if she brings it up.

Try not to be so focused on getting your desired response. They're dealing with a lot and will likely congratulate you later.

emshredder · January 2015

@GirlOnTheBeach‌ maybe you shouldn't be so focused on that one line. It is enough. I'm not focused on myself at all. I feel terrible that they are going through this. So stop jumping on my case when all I have is love and support for them. I told my SIL that if I could trade places with her I would. Not that I want to have fertility issues but they are in a much better place in their lives to have children right now.

People shouldn't jump on others cases when they don't know everything.

KLB2T · January 2015

evolala13 said:

Told the BIL , he and his wife have been married 2 years and trying to conceive, but we had to tell the news and the only response was "ok" I feel bad for people like that, if you choose to be miserable that's your problem. Sorry for your unexpected reactions! Just focus on your family

You specifically pointed this out like you knew it was the reason for his response and still have the nerve to say "I feel bad for people like that, if you choose to be miserable that's your problem."? Also, it seems your BIL and his wife are part of that family that you should focus a little more on, IMO.

GirlOnTheBeach · January 2015

emilyshredder said:
@GirlOnTheBeach‌ maybe you shouldn't be so focused on that one line. It is enough. I'm not focused on myself at all. I feel terrible that they are going through this. So stop jumping on my case when all I have is love and support for them. I told my SIL that if I could trade places with her I would. Not that I want to have fertility issues but they are in a much better place in their lives to have children right now.

People shouldn't jump on others cases when they don't know everything.

My point is that, you say it's enough and still, even after saying you'd switch places with her, after seeing how upset she was, after feeling so terrible they are going through this, you still expected them to say congratulations at that time. Some people have a hard time pulling themselves together in emotional situations.

All I said was to give them some time and they would likely congratulate you later. If you think that's jumping on your case, life is going to be very hard to deal with. Telling you to give them time was not jumping on your case.

MrsDucan · January 2015

My family completely disowned me. It DOESNT matter what anyone else in the entire world think if you and your partner are happy that's all that matters. be strong n believe in ur decision!!!!! congrats girl, be proud!!!!!!!!!!! No one else has to live your life but you

remember ... a lion doesn't concern himself with the opinion of sheep

head up!!!!!

kezdk · January 2015

I am a ftm, finally pregnant, with PCOS. We had been ttc forever and this past year I watched as my sister, and 3 of my husbands cousins became pregnant with #2. I watched their bellies grow, and I met their new babies. Was it hard...you bet. However, I put a smile on my face like an adult and congratulated them, and cooed at their babies, and kept my mouth shut about our struggles as not to rain on their joy. It was very hard to choke down my jealousy. It hurt me to watch them have it so easy. But that is life and God plans it the way he sees fit. I would never want to make my sister (or the cousins) feel bad about being pregnant just because it was something I couldn't attain without medical help; that would be selfish and unfair of me. Sometimes it is best to put your own problems aside, no matter how difficult, and be joyous for others...I'm sure you will be appreciative when they show joy for you in return. Love, peace, joy!

brittc013 · January 2015

My sister in law (husbands brothers wife, in this family through marriage as well) gave me the silent treatment the day we told the family and then told my mother in law "don't worry, I'll give you a granddaughter one day". It all made no sense to me because 1) grandparents just want healthy babies, not a specific gender and 2) I could be having a girl?! Last I checked there's a 50/50 chance!
It was a weird Christmas to say the least but didn't change how happy we are, just sucks she's not happy for us.

JellicalParker · January 2015

My dad nearly passed out... He's been saying for months that he isn't ready to be a grandpa. He pretended to be happy, which was just as painful. His sister was pissed! She kept telling me on Thanksgiving that she wanted us to wait a "LONG" time. She was even super aggressive about whether or not I told my dad before we told everyone else. And waa even more angry when we revealed that we told my grandparents two weeks before. Christmas was super awkward for us

ChristyM87 · January 2015

I am in my mid 20's and have been married for 2 years and my in laws did not take the news well. Rather, they can not put aside their differences and squabbling to be happy that their first grandkid is on the way. We have already been told that they don't forsee having a role in this child's life. Their loss

carlypoop · January 2015

My sister was a downer because she dont like my feonce but she will get over it and be happy soon ...

holli0801 · January 2015

Bleh. Sorry to read. Negativity isn't worth the time or stress!!

panaricana · January 2015

My mom wasn't on board. We threw our fits and I reminded her that it's still her grand kid, so she needed to get over it and at least fake it, and get used to the notion bc I still wanted another one after this one. She's doing a good job trying, God bless her! She adores kid1 and kid2, but felt 'complete' with them. lol as if it's her decision! I think it helped that my grandmother told her to get over it, too.

didn't take the news well

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