I Didn't Expect...

drudolph11 · January 2015

As a FTM i know that i had all these visions and expectations in my head about what pregnancy would be like but i realize now that my only experience and knowledge has come from movies and TV and pictures and what not and a lot of things have not exactly happened the way i thought it would so for me:

I didn't expect my stomach to be soft like it is. I guess i really thought that at some point your during your pregnancy your stomach turns into a hard basketball and stays like that lol my stomach is definitely harder but it is mostly still squishy lol

So what about my other FTMs? What misconception did you have about being pregnant that didn't quite happen the way you thought it would? And even STMs? Anything you thought would happen again for sure but didn't?

janda426 · January 2015

I didn't expect that I'd get "used" to being pregnant. When i was hoping every single day and dreaming about being pregnant I imagined every single day would be this amazing beautiful pregnant experience because hello, I was PREGNANT and how could I not just be thrilled all the time?!

But now it's like yup, I'm pregnant... That's just what's going on right now. I'm still bored every day, I don't get dressed up all cute like the ladies id see on Pinterest and I don't even take cute belly pics every week. I totally thought id do the collage of belly photos but I just don't feel like it lol

Xtchristiext · January 2015

janda426 said:
I didn't expect that I'd get "used" to being pregnant. When i was hoping every single day and dreaming about being pregnant I imagined every single day would be this amazing beautiful pregnant experience because hello, I was PREGNANT and how could I not just be thrilled all the time?!

But now it's like yup, I'm pregnant... That's just what's going on right now. I'm still bored every day, I don't get dressed up all cute like the ladies id see on Pinterest and I don't even take cute belly pics every week. I totally thought id do the collage of belly photos but I just don't feel like it lol

So much this! ^
Also, I didn't realize how slow yet fast the time actually passes...

jack12trip · January 2015

I didn't expect so much commentary! Comments about belly size...comments about how we'll never sleep again...comments about what we registered for...comments about names...

These books should have a chapter dedicated to how to block out all the unsolicited commentary!

I didn't expect my brain to be wired so differently the moment I knew I was pregnant. I worry when her movements change. I worry about her delivery. I worry about getting the house clean and if our plan for sleeping and breast feeding will work. I read recently that a woman's neurological make up changes when she becomes a mother. I didn't realize it started so soon.

Edited: I am the typo queen this week.

kcbizme · January 2015

I didn't expect to get used to being pregnant. I was just telling H the other night that it will be strange to not be pregnant because I'm used to it now.

I didn't expect to be okay with everyone asking me how I feel and wanting to touch my bump. As long as I know you and you're not just some random person, I'm generally okay with it.

drudolph11 · January 2015

janda426 said:
I didn't expect that I'd get "used" to being pregnant. When i was hoping every single day and dreaming about being pregnant I imagined every single day would be this amazing beautiful pregnant experience because hello, I was PREGNANT and how could I not just be thrilled all the time?!

But now it's like yup, I'm pregnant... That's just what's going on right now. I'm still bored every day, I don't get dressed up all cute like the ladies id see on Pinterest and I don't even take cute belly pics every week. I totally thought id do the collage of belly photos but I just don't feel like it lol

I second this as well. I mean being pregnant is Def something i think about everyday but nope not quite how i thought it would be though. And i am actually the opposite of the rest of you because i totally thought i would get as much attention as i have and i was dreading it because it makes me feel so awkward especially when i know that it is coming. Sometimes i just do not feel like talking about being pregnant. Also the timing thing. Holy crap has the time flown i can't even believe it has been 7 months. It totally blows my mind right now. But now I'm being told by all the previously pregnant friends that once you hit about 35 weeks time starts to become agonizingly slow. Great! Oh and the moving too. Yea i really thought it would just be a kick or punch here or there i didn't expect a full on ninja baby in there but am so so glad for it!

wishiwaspreggo · January 2015

I thought my whole pregnancy would be this hotbed of insane symptoms ranging from morning sickness to hemorrhoids to debilitating exhaustion and crazy mood swings. So far: nada. I think my overly dramatic friends and the media had me hyped up to think every woman has every pregnancy symptom ever with no variation in between. I'd watch those "I didn't know I was pregnant" shows with my mom and she'd be like "There is NO WAY ANYONE could NOT know they were pregnant!"

Me? Eh... I can definitely imagine. If I were a straight girl having sex with a man who had a vasectomy and didn't think twice about it I'd probably wonder why I suddenly had arthritic hips and chalk it up to being fat. I'd assume the kicking I feel was gas - because that's pretty much what it feels like still.

Also, I didn't expect for my pregnancy to nearly go unnoticed by everyone That kind of makes me sad. Here I am in my third trimester and many people are *still* surprised when I announce I'm pregnant for the first time even if they see me every day.

And like @janda426 I definitely expected every day to feel like rainbows and butterflies and prancing around all cute and pregnant and wallowing in the magical experience. Now I'm like "Yup. Same shit, different day."

DM718 · January 2015

I think my surprises have been similar to @wishiwaspreggo. There were symptoms I expected and never got, but I never expected to be debilitated by anemia during the first trimester.

I've also been caught off guard by people's expectations of what my pregnancy should be like. I gave in and told my dad I had morning sickness because it was easier to explain than anemia; my aunt insists that I wore Spanx to my sister's wedding (I think I was around 12 - 13 weeks then, and not showing, plus probably down close to 10 lbs from my starting weight at that point).

I'm 33 weeks right now, and it's just been the last week that people who I interact with but wouldn't necessary have announced to have started asking others - this week I've had two colleagues let me know that they've been asked if I was "with child". With maternity leave on my mind, it may not be great that the pregnancy hasn't been as obvious as I would have expected it this far along (and I'm partly to blame - I don't really talk about my personal life at work, so announcing I was pregnant in the office was a big departure for me).

Biscotto · January 2015

I thought I'd be so much more hungry than I am. I didn't expect constant bloated feeling. I didn't expect so many people to think that I need to always "take it easy".

salmphil · January 2015

I'm surprised how thoroughly exhausted I am all the time. Going from the basement to the 2nd floor truly requires taking a break and breathing hard. Even though I drug myself back to the gym after 2nd tri, I'm just beat, all the time. But overall I'm actually surprised how easy my pregnancy has been. I don't intend to to brag, I just feel surprised & very blessed about that part.

ETA: I realized I didn't answer your question. I thought I'd be way more into documenting the pregnancy and furnishing the nursery. Eating 100% healthy food. Nope nope nope.

Skrittens · January 2015

I totally expected to be cute and love every second of being pregnant. I thought I'd have the best maternity wardrobe and be totally natural and glowy. I was going to have the most awesome maternity photos, scrap book and journal. I tried long and hard enough to get pregnant and I had the perfect vision of myself.

But I hated EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of the first trimester.

I feel like a fat ugly blump. My vegan diet got replaced with food fit for a truck driver. I can't even find my make up, and purse match my shoes? My 4-10x a week yoga practice? Turned into 4 times this pregnancy. The thought of physical activity makes me sick. My cooking hobby? I'll eat brownie mix before I will make brownies. I got so angry my MIL posted a pregnant picture of me on Facebook because I felt so fat and ugly my H refuses to let me spend money on maternity photos.

But I don't think I ever got pregnancy brain - just a little over tired. I'm actually sleeping ok, have yet to really pee my pants, and actually feel better in the third trimester. And feeling the little man squirm around is kind of cool. Oh - and I hate being on bedrest - I never imagined that would happen!

So, TL;DR - I'm not experiencing any of the fun superficial pregnancy things I thought I would, the first trimester was worse than I ever could have imagined, but the second and third have been pretty easy - except for sucky bedrest.

ciaobellat · January 2015

I didn't expect to enjoy pregnancy or have a bond before the baby was born. I've been very fortunate to have a pregnancy without a lot of complication and I've actually really enjoyed the experience and may even miss it once its over. I feared my motherly instinct wouldn't kick in but I am also so connected to my son, I talk to him everyday.

corabrie · January 2015

I expected to enjoy food more. The first tri I was nauseated all the time, second tri food just didn't taste as good, and now that food tastes good again I get terrible heartburn and indigestion pretty much every time I eat more than a couple of bites.

Somehow I've still managed to gain 30 lbs so far...my doctor wanted me to stay closer to a 15 lb gain. Oh well. I also didn't expect to be so damn lazy all the time. I'm still waiting for that nesting thing to kick in.

Joon+ · January 2015

I didn't expect to feel literally suicidal the first trimester. I was braced for dealing with PPD/PPA but I had no idea antenatal depression/anxiety were just as prevalent. I expected to feel hormonal, but not to cease to function. I didn't expect to mourn the loss of my "just us" life with my husband, or my otherwise generally selfish lifestyle. But then when I was experiencing these things, I didn't expect to come out the other side and feel so different. Now I am looking forward to my son's birth and all the changes that will take place, and I feel capable.
I also didn't expect the level and sheer scale of movement, and I had no concept of how long nine months actually is. No part has flown by for me - it feels like I've been pregnant for an eternity. Having said that, I know I'll still miss it when it's over.

janda426 · January 2015

@Biscotto‌ same!! I thought I'd be eating everything in sight. Too bad I already feel full the majority of the day and huge meals are a thing of the distant past. It's annoying really, if something tastes really good and I can only eat a few bites. There's just no room for food in there lol

kcbizme · January 2015

I also didn't expect to not have any cravings. Literally, I have had ZERO cravings.

I didn't expect to not be able to eat some foods that I love, like broccoli (first tri was brutal - I can eat it now).

I totally expected to have the typical symptoms - morning sickness, constipation, back pain, etc. I didn't expect to have such a smooth pregnancy overall.

drudolph11 · January 2015

CiaoBella081311 said:
I didn't expect to enjoy pregnancy or have a bond before the baby was born. I've been very fortunate to have a pregnancy without a lot of complication and I've actually really enjoyed the experience and may even miss it once its over. I feared my motherly instinct wouldn't kick in but I am also so connected to my son, I talk to him everyday.

Yea this! I mean we talk about the baby like she is already here. And the whole saying that a woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant and a man becomes a father when their child is born kinda rings true. What i mean is that my SO is super involved and super excited but i don't think he is quite as bonded with the baby already like i am. Like i still get excited about every little thing. Every piece of clothing or accessory that i buy and every little kick. With him, I'm pretty sure he will leave me if i bring home anymore baby clothes lol but i can't help it. And at night when she starts kicking i know he is happy about it and really trys hard to make it seem like he is as happy add i am but i know he is really thinking "yes i know she is kicking again like she does every night" lol but i think that once she is born he will probably be swooning over her more then i will lol

drudolph11 · January 2015

You guys are right about the cravings thing. I mean i didn't really expect to get the stereotypical "pickles and ice cream" craving or anything but i thought i would crave something at least but nope, nothing really. I have always been a sugar person and bring pregnant actually ramped that up a bit but as far as craving a specific food i Def didn't get that.

LynnBrown4 · January 2015

I didn't foresee third trimester as being so uncomfortable. Not painful, just the discomfort from walking around all day with a huge belly, and struggling to find comfortable positions to rest.

Also didn't expect my husband would nest - especially not so early on - and especially when I haven't started doing so yet. You can't even put a plate down at my house anymore, and he's whisking it away. I've had to almost restrain him from installing the socket protectors he bought (last month).

Amoreenamarlin · January 2015

STM and this pregnancy is way different than my last. The first trimester sickness was something very real that I had never experienced with dd #1. That. Was. Rough. I gained 50lbs last time (yikes) and after losing weight in the beginning of this pregnancy, I am the exact weight I was at my original appointment (COMPLETELY unexpected but I'm glad my body is using that leftover skin from last time as I'm hoping to lose it all after this baby's born!). I also didn't expect to have gestational diabetes, but here I am -_- on a happy note, I'm amazed at how in awe I am of this pregnancy and this baby. After suffering a miscarriage in May, I feel incredibly lucky to have conceived so soon after and cannot wait to meet this baby and for this baby to meet her big sister..that's a moment I don't even think I'm emotionally ready for!

drudolph11 · January 2015

@Amoreenamarlin‌ i am right there with you except with my SO as i don't have any other kids. He is just so excited about this baby and so anxious for her to get here that just thinking about the first time he gets to hold her just about makes me loose it right now. When that time actually gets here i will probably just full on loose it!

massiejs09 · January 2015

LynnBrown4 said:

I didn't foresee third trimester as being so uncomfortable. Not painful, just the discomfort from walking around all day with a huge belly, and struggling to find comfortable positions to rest.

Also didn't expect my husband would nest - especially not so early on - and especially when I haven't started doing so yet. You can't even put a plate down at my house anymore, and he's whisking it away. I've had to almost restrain him from installing the socket protectors he bought (last month).

This. First and second tri were like no sweat and now in third tri I feel like a lumbering walrus. My body aches and things crack and pop when I literally, roll out of bed. I had good energy up to this point but now I just feel like a sloth. Sitting at my desk at work is uncomfortable. I was expecting 3rd tri to be like the first two ... but no. And when I am up and about for long periods, it becomes really uncomfortable. I come home from work and all I want to do is lie in the bed. It is frustrating. It doesn't help that its dark at 5pm and 20o outside.

And my husband is also the one who has been nesting. He's moved all of our regular stuff into storage because he doesn't want the baby to 'live in a cluttered mess.' Cause she'll be so conscious of that as an infant. ?? We didn't even have a lot of things to begin with but I was left clutching 2 coasters to my chest like a crazy hoarder so they wouldn't go in the cardboard box.

Bluebell0315 · January 2015

As a STM I really just figured this pregnancy would pretty much be like the first one with just a few differences. I did not, however, take into consideration that I was 24 the first time and 32 the second time. Holy crap, it's completely different!

@drudolph11‌ I never got the hard bump either. With either pregnancy. Since its squishy I can't really wear cute maternity tops so I live in my scrubs

WinningColors · January 2015

I didn't expect pregnancy brain to be real. I thought it was just kind of a joke. No. That shit is real.

I also didn't expect the snoring! Doesn't matter if it's a nap or sleeping at night. OMFG. Some nights, my H sleeps on couch because my snoring is so bad. And that's after he's tried wearing ear plugs.

akj166 · January 2015

Skrittens said:
I totally expected to be cute and love every second of being pregnant. I thought I'd have the best maternity wardrobe and be totally natural and glowy. I was going to have the most awesome maternity photos, scrap book and journal. I tried long and hard enough to get pregnant and I had the perfect vision of myself.

But I hated EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of the first trimester.

I feel like a fat ugly blump. My vegan diet got replaced with food fit for a truck driver. I can't even find my make up, and purse match my shoes? My 4-10x a week yoga practice? Turned into 4 times this pregnancy. The thought of physical activity makes me sick. My cooking hobby? I'll eat brownie mix before I will make brownies. I got so angry my MIL posted a pregnant picture of me on Facebook because I felt so fat and ugly my H refuses to let me spend money on maternity photos.

But I don't think I ever got pregnancy brain - just a little over tired. I'm actually sleeping ok, have yet to really pee my pants, and actually feel better in the third trimester. And feeling the little man squirm around is kind of cool. Oh - and I hate being on bedrest - I never imagined that would happen!

So, TL;DR - I'm not experiencing any of the fun superficial pregnancy things I thought I would, the first trimester was worse than I ever could have imagined, but the second and third have been pretty easy - except for sucky bedrest.

I second this! I feel like a cat squeezing into doll clothes everyday for work! Ohhhh an I pee my pants all the time:(

ettamichele · January 2015

I didn't expect to feel so tired and exhausted all the time. I had high hopes that I would work out my entire pregnancy and eat super healthy and only gain 20lbs. At this point, I've gained 40lbs and I hate eating vegetables. I also didn't expect to not care about weight gain and figure I'll deal with it after the baby is born.

Amoreenamarlin · January 2015

drudolph11 said:
@Amoreenamarlin‌ i am right there with you except with my SO as i don't have any other kids. He is just so excited about this baby and so anxious for her to get here that just thinking about the first time he gets to hold her just about makes me loose it right now. When that time actually gets here i will probably just full on loose it!

As emotional as you think you'll be in this moment..multiply it by 100. Truly, there was nothing more amazing than seeing my husband with our daughter for the first time..especially since they don't get to feel and bond with them in the womb the way that we do. It's been almost 5 years for us, so I'm incredibly excited to get to experience that all over again. Definitely enjoy those moments @drudolph11‌

lawsonellis · January 2015

I'm weird- I didn't expect to be so void of emotion. I always heard pregnant women are more hormonal than normal ones but not only am I not crazy emotional, but I'm calmer and less quick to anger or years than when I wasn't pregnant!! But... Definitely more prone to worry. Like... x1000.

sunset30 · January 2015

A few things I didn't expect:

1.) 40 weeks to seem so long. I feel like time is moving at a snails pace. I am so ready for March to come and to meet our little guy.

2.) I thought I'd have a lot more weird cravings and food aversions. I'm pretty much eating just as I normally did (though in trimester 1 I didn't want to eat anything). Since then, I'm back to status quo, though I'm a bit unhealthier and let myself have more treats than I did before. I figure now that I've cut out the calories from beer and wine I need some indulgence!

3.) I had no idea how tired I would be but still unable to sleep. So frustrating how achy my back and hips are, and lying in bed at night unable to find a comfortable position or sleep.

JCWhitey · January 2015

My stomach is a hard little basketball.

My co-worker was flipping coins off of it the other day. But it wasn't like this with my first! This time around I'm realizing just how different each pregnancy is. There are a few similar things, like the position she's in is the same as the position DS was in so I'm getting kicked in the same spot, but otherwise things are very different!

But the biggest surprises for me came during labor. Like you my only experience with that was from TV shows like Baby Story and movies. It wasn't like anything I'd ever seen on any of those shows! For one, I didn't know that when your water breaks it might just keep refilling and gushing if the baby hadn't dropped. It was very uncomfortable and a little traumatizing to be experiencing that for my first hour of labor. I also knew you bled after delivery, but I didn't realize how much you an bleed DURING delivery. It also freaked me out. Knowing it now it won't surprise me or weird me out, but it did then.

finallyourturn2 · January 2015

I'm going to sound whiny, but I didn't think it would be so hard. I thought that was just in the movies or something. Maybe I have always been around people who hide it well, but I don't know.

I am more tired/sore than I thought it would be. I have realized that morning sickness and pregnancy brain are real. I have realized that oxygen should be cherished.

There is a part of me that wants to do this again just to see what a normal singleton pregnancy is like.

071115 · January 2015

This is my 3rd. I had no idea that I could have extra fluid. I was use to being uncomfortable in the first 2 but I am in pain this time like all the time.

lisap0924 · January 2015

I haven't had any crazy cravings either, which I didn't expect. I have never sent my husband out at midnight for anything redonk!
I also thought I would have gained much more weight by now. I am only up 14lbs by my Dr's scale.
I also never realized the realness of baby brain! Holy cow!
And I never realized it was possible to love a little person so much without meeting him yet

corabrie · January 2015

WinningColors said:

I didn't expect pregnancy brain to be real. I thought it was just kind of a joke. No. That shit is real.

I also didn't expect the snoring! Doesn't matter if it's a nap or sleeping at night. OMFG. Some nights, my H sleeps on couch because my snoring is so bad. And that's after he's tried wearing ear plugs.

The snoring! I swear I start snoring before I even fall asleep sometimes!

Skrittens · January 2015

corabrie said:

WinningColors said:

I didn't expect pregnancy brain to be real. I thought it was just kind of a joke. No. That shit is real.

I also didn't expect the snoring! Doesn't matter if it's a nap or sleeping at night. OMFG. Some nights, my H sleeps on couch because my snoring is so bad. And that's after he's tried wearing ear plugs.

The snoring! I swear I start snoring before I even fall asleep sometimes!

This!!!! I was snoring on a conference call today. Fully awake!!!

beccaj25 · January 2015

Is it weird that I didn't know what I was expecting? It was like I couldn't even wrap my mind around the concept of ME being PREGNANT.

But I also second the snoring. My poor husband. I'm just hoping it doesn't happen one of these days when I'm dozing off in conference...
Also, @lawsonellis‌ - I am totally with you

. I haven't cried at a single movie or TV show since I got KU which is completely weird for me.

JenLa21 · January 2015

I didn't realize how tired and sore I'd be the second time around. I felt amazing during my first pregnancy. I was a rock star, and nothing held me back. This time, I am pooped. I have no energy. I'm a trooper though, and I make myself do things, and go out and have fun. But it's not easy this time.

Another weird thing I didn't expect, was being so nauseous during labor

I was so very sick throughout my long labor. I am dreading that more than the pain right now. I hope it isn't as bad this time.

nlinscott11 · January 2015

I didn't expect how different this pregnancy could be from my first. With DS I didn't show, I had all the energy in the world, and did pretty much everything by myself (DH was in the USN at the time and was gone A LOT). This pregnancy I am all out in front, so much more uncomfortable and in genuine amounts of hip and back pain, I can't sleep to save my life. I am exhausted all the time. And I can't do anything without having to ask for some kind of help.
I also didn't expect how hard having a 3 year old while being pregnant could be. I mean, he's a fairly independent little dude, but good lord, chasing after him is rough. I am so excited to see him hold his little brother for the first time though. To see the love there. I can't wait to fall even more in love with my husband when I see him interact with both of our boys. I am so in love with this baby already, I can't prepare myself for the emotions of seeing him for the first time.

I also never expected to be waddling at 30 weeks. That is something I am not happy with...

kmvisioli · January 2015

Like @zebraleg4lunch‌, I didn't expect to feel so normal. I always thought it would totally take over my body and mind, and I'd be one of those giddy glowing ladies, but I really haven't felt pregnant until the last couple of weeks. I know I'm lucky to have had an easy pregnancy, but I think feeling so normal has made it harder to bond and feel excited.

Also, opposite of OP, I didn't realize my belly would be so hard! I imagined it being more soft and squishy, but at 32 weeks I'm a firm little basketball.

Whitfry · January 2015

I didn't expect that I would drool so much.

I didn't expect the extreme upswing in my sex-drive. It hasn't tapered off, it's crazy.

I didn't expect to eventually enjoy the feeling of baby J moving inside me. When I first started feeling him it made me really uncomfortable. And now I know I will miss it when he's on the outside - I imagine I will feel lonely. It's strange to think about.

I didn't expect to feel so brave and powerful. Especially when I think about giving birth, I don't feel anxious or frightened at all. I feel excited and all woman-warrior. We'll see how I feel in reality once those contractions start happening, lol! I imagine it will be a bit different. But the thought of giving birth holds no fear or apprehension for me so far, and I'm grateful for that.

I didn't expect to become so obsessed with pooping.

drudolph11 · January 2015

@Whitfry‌ i feel the same way about labor. I have this blissfully clueless "bring it on bitch" attitude about it! I mean if you haven't seen any of my posts lately i am going through some things right now about what's going to happen with her after she is born and i guess that is consuming my brain at the moment so i don't really have any space up there for any more added fear but i have actually felt that way from the beginning. I have absolutely no fear of the pain at all. I'm actually more afraid of how uncomfortable my vagina will be afterwards then what it will be like during. I know that will prob change once im going through it since i have never been through it before and heard nothing but horror stories about the pain but i am fine with my blissful ignorance right now. The weird thing too is that i have absolutely ZERO pain tolerance. I'm a freaking baby when it comes to even just a paper cut so the fact that I'm like this is odd. I should be shaking in my boots right now thinking about it but I'm still holding on to my "bring it on MFer" attitude lol
@Amoreenamarlin‌ that's so awesome i just can't wait really that is what im looking forward to the most, well other than me actually holding her! I can't even keep it together just thinking about it let alone when it actually happens lol i know in gonna break down and cry harder than my newborn. I don't know if you listen to country but when i listen to Kenny Chesneys song "The Good Stuff" there is a line that goes "the sight of her holding our baby girl" , yea just listening to that 3 second line i am no good for about the next 10 minutes lol its prob just my pregnancy hormones making me overly sensitive Haha

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