Registry and Baby Showers.

cece3d · January 2015

I am due May 7th and I'm not quite sure when I should have a baby shower. With my first I had nothing to do with planning or the date. The second was just a small get together and I hated it because it made me feel like that baby wasn't as special. I couldn't not even tell you that date. I'm fairly sure I had both of them before 35 weeks as we had to travel for them. This is the last kid I am gonna have and I want this one to be big, but I also have to throw it for myself. With my daughters birthday in April I can't do it then my birthday is in March and I don't know if I should do it then... Any in put? Feb is just around the corner and not enough time or money to plan. Also any cheap pinteresting ideas?

Unknown · January 2015

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FreddyisReady · January 2015

You should ask the Baby Shower board. Those ladies will point you in the right direction.

Why are you throwing it yourself?

CorryS12 · January 2015

I believe that every baby should be celebrated, but I don't think a baby shower for a 3rd child is the appropriate way to do it.

Perhaps a come meet my baby" event would be a better way to go. Plus it will give you extra time to save and hopefully will not have as many date conflicts.

Poppy715 · January 2015

No no no. No third shower for a third baby. You've been welcomed to motherhood and that should be that. I can't think of many things tackier than throwing a shower for yourself for your third baby. Just stop.

growingbelly0515 · January 2015

Are you asking these people to buy you gifts again? Not trying to be rude, but that's very tacky. I understand wanting to celebrate, but that could be done once baby is here by doing a meet and greet. I feel weird having a shower where people bring me gifts and I'm going to be a FTM. Are you talking about a get-together or are you honestly asking for gifts AGAIN?

MommaMacri · January 2015

The fact that you were upset that your second shower was small is ridiculous! ! I have never heard of anyone going all out for a baby shower for baby number 3!?! You throwing it is BEYOND TACKY! Be happy with what others did for you in the past. Your lucky you got one for the second many families only throw showers for the first baby to welcome you to motherhood. I suggest you look up Shower etiquette.

peteresa · January 2015

SunshyneShay said:
Etiquette is dead. What is this world coming to?!

Time to move on to another thread! Etiquette is Dead and it's just sad, I feel like I did when I was a kid and Bambi mom got SHOT...SO

Edited for erasing part of post on accident

sarahchrismck · January 2015

robotpcr said:

Everyone else has covered this pretty well so I'll just say this: Ew.

Agreed!

shoff2 · January 2015

I suggest you to have a welcome baby party once your little one is born. It's a way for everyone to meet your bundle of joy. Then everyone can celebrate the birth of the child rather than celebrating your newest to parenthood. Good luck with everything!

OnceInLoveWithAmy · January 2015

I'm just gonna pretend like this is MUD and move along to the next thread.....

LolaCachia · January 2015

I'm pretty laid back on social etiquette, but dang! You sounds all kinda ungrateful, girl! I feel guilty and kind of icky when my MiL and mom ask my opinions on shower stuff so couldn't imagine throwing myself a third shower. It screams very gift grabby. Don't you have enough items for baby saved up? Just have a little welcome baby party once she arrives!

MrsPDX · January 2015

Your post has several red flags. First, its your third child. You should never have more than one shower. Second, you should never throw or plan your own shower. Therefore, my input is please do not have a shower. It will come off as tacky and gift gabby. Have a meet the baby event after the baby is born.

Poppy715 · January 2015

robotpcr said:

Everyone else has covered this pretty well so I'll just say this: Ew.

Unknown · January 2015

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Poppy715 · January 2015

shmeell25 said:

irishtheatrechic said:

Skip the shower and throw a big "Sip and See" so everyone can meet the baby. The end.

But then presents? How will she get all the presents??

You mean how will everyone celebrate this baby and see how special it is. Plus how do you fawn over a pg mom if the newborn baby is there sucking up all the attention?

Honda13 · January 2015

mbbach said:
At first I was like ooooo I'm due May 7 and my awesome family has everything planned and ready to go, I will be tons of help!! Then I kept reading.................

Me too! Then.......well you know the rest!

melissak1q · January 2015

May I suggest a party at the roller rink. The crowd gathers around you and sings happy birthday but you can change some of the lyrics if you use your imagination. Then, the disco ball slowly starts to spin and everyone watches in awe as the MTB leads the chicken dance followed by the hoky poky (limbo is clearly optional). The last time I had a bday there, I got a fly tiara so that's a bonus. I feel like you have to bring your own cake but punch and plates are totally included. This is your day, girl. Don't let this old world get you down.

melissak1q · January 2015

T1green said:

@melissak1q said:

May I suggest a party at the roller rink. The crowd gathers around you and sings happy birthday but you can change some of the lyrics if you use your imagination. Then, the disco ball slowly starts to spin and everyone watches in awe as the MTB leads the chicken dance followed by the hoky poky (limbo is clearly optional). The last time I had a bday there, I got a fly tiara so that's a bonus. I feel like you have to bring your own cake but punch and plates are totally included. This is your day, girl. Don't let this old world get you down.

The hoky poky might be a little dangerous. Imagine if she sticks her left foot in and looses her balance on the skates. We need to think of these things. Also, you can avoid buying your own cake if you register for it. Just saying.

You are so right. I didn't want to risk someone else leading bc it couldn't be about anyone else when it's all about her. It's a cruel world, man. It's all hoky or die.

texasmama15 · January 2015

pinkbarebear said:

OP is never coming back, is she?

Poppy715 · January 2015

captainleela said:

I call Tuesday MUD.

But she posted last night. Monday crazypants posts are always legit, aren't they?

kgnordman · January 2015

Are you saying that you should plan your third baby shower because gays can marry and blacks are equal?

Poppy715 · January 2015

I'm personally dying to know where she registered for this baby. It's probably someplace like Petit Tresor. I'd love to see what she thinks she needs for a third baby.

samiamagirl · January 2015

texasmama15 said:

pinkbarebear said:

OP is never coming back, is she?

Latrice is a gold mine for reaction gifs. IFLHER so much.

texasmama15 · January 2015

samiamagirl said:

pinkbarebear said:

OP is never coming back, is she?

Latrice is a gold mine for reaction gifs. IFLHER so much.

Haha! She reminds me of a combination of IT and RuPaul

JustMoiAgain · January 2015

~~~

katlarissa · January 2015

My church actually does showers for moms who aren't FTMs, but the showers are a lot more casual than they are if it's your first, and they are diaper/casserole showers. So the women who come bring something for the mom's freezer and/or a pack of diapers and wipes. It's a way we show love and support to each other, plus a fun time of visiting and eating yummy food.

:x

But that's a whole different world from throwing yourself a shower for your third baby...

cece3d · January 2015

blackpearl08 said:
A baby shower welcomes you to motherhood. It is tacky to have multiple showers and even more so to throw one yourself. No one here will help you in this terrible endeavor. Enjoy your pregnancy and host a gathering once the baby is here.

Wow. I should then tell everyone I've ever known that each baby shower that had for every kid was too much. I have nothing in terms of baby items. My daughter was born in 2009 and I only kept the bassinet, the jumper and the stroller in the event that I'd have another kid. My second kid was a boy born in 2012. So I have no baby items for a girl, which this third child is. I have to throw it myself because my mother can't afford it and my best friend decided she would rather just not be in my life anymore. I do not even have the bassinet or stroller as I gave them to a cousin who had a baby before I realized I was pregnant.

Excuse me for being "tacky" but I'd rather have a shower where my family members and the friends I do have can buy stuff I need for the baby than waiting and having to buy everything for myself. Not all of us are rich a snooty like the people I talk to everyday who can afford every little thing.

sthrncharmer · January 2015

I am no where near rich but you better believe that my H and I scrimped and saved for everything that this baby will need. It's called responsibility.

cece3d · January 2015

I can't believe this crap. I came for assistance and I've been thrown to the wolves. Seriously! My entire family will pop by to visit after the baby is born because that's who they are I don't have to throw a party for that.

Every person I know has had multiple baby showers for just about every kid they've ever had. Apparently in Texas it just something that's done because I've never not known one person to have only one baby shower for their first kid and never have another one for subsequent kids. I should tell them they did it wrong.

Excuse me for being pregnant and not having a damned thing for my child to wear or play with or be fed from cause I'm not rich enough to afford to have one baby shower and hope every child after is the same sex. Sorry for being so generous I gave my things away to friends and family who had had infants when my toddler no longer needed them. My kids were perfectly spaced surprises and this is my last one cause I was an hormonal idiot during my second pregnancy and said no to having a tubal ligation.

Thanks for the help....

sthrncharmer · January 2015

cece3d said:
I can't believe this crap. I came for assistance and I've been thrown to the wolves. Seriously! My entire family will pop by to visit after the baby is born because that's who they are I don't have to throw a party for that.

Every person I know has had multiple baby showers for just about every kid they've ever had. Apparently in Texas it just something that's done because I've never not known one person to have only one baby shower for their first kid and never have another one for subsequent kids. I should tell them they did it wrong.

Excuse me for being pregnant and not having a damned thing for my child to wear or play with or be fed from cause I'm not rich enough to afford to have one baby shower and hope every child after is the same sex. Sorry for being so generous I gave my things away to friends and family who had had infants when my toddler no longer needed them. My kids were perfectly spaced surprises and this is my last one cause I was an hormonal idiot during my second pregnancy and said no to having a tubal ligation.

Thanks for the help....

Yea that's totally not the point! I live in Texas and everyone I know has had a shower for their first child and not their second.
There is nothing wrong with giving things to friends but after two babies you should be expected to cover things yourself.

thehills1983 · January 2015

cece3d said:

I can't believe this crap. I came for assistance and I've been thrown to the wolves. Seriously! My entire family will pop by to visit after the baby is born because that's who they are I don't have to throw a party for that. Every person I know has had multiple baby showers for just about every kid they've ever had. Apparently in Texas it just something that's done because I've never not known one person to have only one baby shower for their first kid and never have another one for subsequent kids. I should tell them they did it wrong. Excuse me for being pregnant and not having a damned thing for my child to wear or play with or be fed from cause I'm not rich enough to afford to have one baby shower and hope every child after is the same sex. Sorry for being so generous I gave my things away to friends and family who had had infants when my toddler no longer needed them. My kids were perfectly spaced surprises and this is my last one cause I was an hormonal idiot during my second pregnancy and said no to having a tubal ligation. Thanks for the help....

Why don't you use the money you would spend on throwing yourself a shower and buy baby stuff.

cece3d · January 2015

Beeorange said:

Tubal ligation scheduled but I've never been on birth control for the 10 years my husband and I have been together. 2009, 2012, 2015. Just how it happened.

jesslfar · January 2015

Yeah, this post entered into several of the biggest hot button topics these forums see. I live in an area where having a shower for babies other than your first is not uncommon and are not considered tacky, but hosting your own shower would be bad. I can't explain why you can have a party for a 1 year old but not a newborn both of which ask for gifts, but while this may be your last baby you might just have to give up on this shower. If you think everyone else who posted telling you it is tacky to host your own shower and have a shower for your third is incorrect and that people really will show up I would have the party in March. I suggest you not do a big celebration for your own birthday and do just family for that. I think if you do it in Feb you will cross into another land of judgement that is having the shower too early which can also look greedy. I think you should speak with some close friends to see if they agree with you. They know how this is going to turn out and maybe everyone you invite is super excited to come to a big party for you and a party for your daughter the next month and won't mind you are hosting or that you had two previous showers. I don't know you or your friends and this could be perfectly fine. If your friends act horrified than you should accept it and drop it and give your daughter a nice party and host yourself a nice after birth sip and see.

sarahchrismck · January 2015

OP - you can buy a lot of things you need second hand, but you shouldn't go asking your family and friends to buy stuff for you.

Ballet80 · January 2015

Okay, do you not already have most of the things you would need for a baby? Since you have already had 2. I think a third baby shower is tacky and screams buy me something. Where I am from you can do a sprinkle for a second child if it's of the opposite sex of the first child. Or a lot of women do "Sip and See's , that is just where you invite your friends over to see the baby and drink wine/mimosa's, your friends will bring you gifts if they want. You should never host your own shower. Good luck!

rivers714 · January 2015

You gotta parent on a budget. Stm single mom- I have about a dozen 0-3 outfits, some bottles, a pak n play, and I'm buying a carriage car seat combo. Voila! Essentials for under 500$

Unknown · January 2015

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xxstephh · January 2015

I understand having a shower for each kid. Where I live, it's something everyone does for each child ... But what I don't understand is that you're throwing it yourself . I get that maybe you need the help, but with having 8-9 months to buy things .. You should have started already. Im a ftm , and if my boyfriends mother didn't say she was throwing me a shower, I would never suggest throwing one for myself. I'm not trying to be rude, but if nobody will throw you one, I suggest just buying stuff yourself

hand me downs are a great way to go if you don't have the money. Good luck

jraeohyeaaa · January 2015

cece3d said:

I can't believe this crap. I came for assistance and I've been thrown to the wolves. Seriously! My entire family will pop by to visit after the baby is born because that's who they are I don't have to throw a party for that. Every person I know has had multiple baby showers for just about every kid they've ever had. Apparently in Texas it just something that's done because I've never not known one person to have only one baby shower for their first kid and never have another one for subsequent kids. I should tell them they did it wrong. Excuse me for being pregnant and not having a damned thing for my child to wear or play with or be fed from cause I'm not rich enough to afford to have one baby shower and hope every child after is the same sex. Sorry for being so generous I gave my things away to friends and family who had had infants when my toddler no longer needed them. My kids were perfectly spaced surprises and this is my last one cause I was an hormonal idiot during my second pregnancy and said no to having a tubal ligation. Thanks for the help....

First of all...I live in Texas and this is not something people do.

Second of all...I am pregnant with my first child and we are not having a shower due to the fact that we live 16 hours away from both sides of the family and because we are trying to be PRUDENT and FINANCIALLY SMART (you know, since we are about to have a baby)...we thought it was not a good idea to pay for a $400 plane ticket home for a shower. So no shower.

Yes I was sad about it...yes I cried about it...but now I'm not going to fuss about it. Instead we are making a registry (primarily so WE can buy the things we need with the completion coupon) and prioritizing what we will need to buy new and what we will buy secondhand. My husband and I were the ones who chose to have a kid...not our families and friends. So WE need to be prepared to take care of everything.

I know I am just echoing what PPs have said...but I feel like I need to add that this attitude really irks me. OP you have been VERY blessed to already have two showers for two kids (regardless of whether or not you should have even had the second one). I would just be grateful for what others gave you in the past and maybe try to budget better. Look on Craigslist or local BST pages for good secondhand things. There are even some threads here on TB where STMs have helped to define the items that need to be bought new (crib mattress!!!) and which things are just fine to get used.

OnceInLoveWithAmy · January 2015

Why wouldn't you keep the stuff from your first baby? My son was born three years ago and I have ever single outfit, bib, and baby item in the event we had another child. This child is a girl, but I am not asking anyone to buy me clothes for her. That is my responsibly. We are not rich by any means, so I will be attacking the Consignment sales with a vengeance.

Look, I am down with a second shower if there is a large age gap between children, but three years doesn't cut it.

I don't really care what your circle of friends have done in the past, but it's looked down upon to have a second shower and incredibly tacky to host your own.

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