Baby Blues

BK0186 · January 2015

@xc1148‌ thanks for the good tips. During that time she isn't horrible or crying the whole time. With the family being asleep i just try to keep her as quiet as possible so they can sleep. Usually it's me wanting her to go back to sleep right away so I can get the full amount of sleep hours during the night. For some reason being up all night just makes me sad and lonely. Partly because I'd rather be laying with H and keeping a little bit of our closeness alive, especially with hormones all crazy. Having him want to even be next to me after not showering, crying, and exhausted makes me still feel like we will have a life afterall.
Hopefully when H and MIL go home/back to work that instinct will officially kick in. Until then it is nice to be able to use them while I can.

paigep8 · January 2015

I've been so tired today that I'm dizzy. I am an awful napper and need to fix that if I want to feel halfway normal. My DH is amazing, but had a big day at work today so last night I told him to sleep in a guest bedroom to get rest. He feels amazing today, went for a run after work, feels renewed and I am bitter and resentful of his ability to sleep. We are EBF and I am not pumping enough to have a big enough reserve to skip more than one feeding a night, especially because I am joining a friend at a spa on Saturday (so excited and much needed but will need to pump all week to get enough milk to leave him). Just feeling like there is nothing I can do about my sleep deprivation and that I can't leave the house, the baby, and I am going totally stir crazy and feeling claustrophobic. Thank you for letting me vent.

JCM285 · January 2015

@katehgee‌ wow harsh. We didn't kick our dog out of the house for barking. Obviously we know he is going to bark. We just wanted to start a routine with LO and didn't want to neglect the dog by not paying attention to him. The only reason we haven't gotten him back is because MIL has been suffering from severe depression as of late and the dog has been helping her cope but ok I'm a bad dog owner lol

ThePregosaurus · January 2015

pooky08 said:

Here's a question - is it possible for men to have their own version of the baby blues?

Absolutely! I googled it and it's called something like paternal ppd. I'm fairly positive MH had it but he seems to be over the hump now.

JCM285 · January 2015

@pooky08‌ I bet they can because sometimes DH gets a bit upset that he can't provide for LO in the same way I can since he doesnt have breasts and is at work most of the day.

MaggieN2028 · January 2015

I swear my LO heard my two dogs bark and me yell at them in the womb...their barks don't phase her, thank goodness.

Any chance anyone can take you pup outside and wear him or her out daily? That might help. I can't give my dogs the attention I used to, but DH tries to wear them out and I love on them when I can.

rshamos · January 2015

MaggieN2028 said:
I swear my LO heard my two dogs bark and me yell at them in the womb...their barks don't phase her, thank goodness.

Any chance anyone can take you pup outside and wear him or her out daily? That might help. I can't give my dogs the attention I used to, but DH tries to wear them out and I love on them when I can.

Yes! LO sleeps through my dogs barking. I think he recognizes mommy's voice, daddy's voice, and brother/sister's barks.

We go for a walk everyday. MH takes the dogs and I push the stroller. I think it makes the dogs like LO more bc they associate his stroller with fun time.

murphyame · January 2015

This post has helped me SO much. Thank you to everyone who posted. The first two weeks were horrible, seriously horrible. I cried and cried and cried. It was so rough and couldn't see the end in sight. It felt hopeless and lonely. Reading these really helped know I wasn't alone. Sitting at 4 weeks pp, I still have bad days, but the good days are much more frequent. To the gals that are still in the blue stage, hang in and don't be afraid to ask for help and or talk to your dr. You aren't alone and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

nashamber · January 2015

@murphyame‌ - I'm also 4 weeks PP and noticed that my good days are more frequent than the bad ones. I'm so grateful for all the support from this thread. Cheers to brighter days!

murphyame · January 2015

@nashamber‌ I'm so glad you seeing better days too! It is such a relief!

BK0186 · January 2015

@marsavary‌ I am going to a therapist which has been helping, and I considered zoloft. The side effects make me worried about taking it. Just wondered what your thoughts were about it. My husband is great with the baby things but not so great with emotional stuff so that has been difficult.

Hilary232 · January 2015

katylou91 said:
I wasn't emotional at all during pregnancy, I was probably the happiest I've ever been. But as soon as I had LO, I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't stop crying, cried about everything. My biggest trigger was how much I "missed" SO. Even though he was there and helping, I missed our relationship before baby and missed just being close to him. It's a big change having a baby, emotions are everywhere. LO is now 2 weeks old and I am feeling better, not as emotional. It gets better. The emotions along with the lack of sleep are hard to get through but you'll get through it. Try to make time for yourself, I know that's a hard one too but try your best!

My son is almost 5 weeks old and I still having this problem. My husband was off for almost 3 weeks but when he went back to work I felt abandoned. Our son will pretty much only sleep during the day and has a really tough time at night (he doesn't like the bassinet and really only likes to sleep on our chests). I think he is a little colicky too but the doctor doesn't seem to think so. I have felt very overwhelmed and sad most of the time we have been home and I cry almost everyday whether it be sad tears, happy tears or just because tears. I go to my doctor next week and will be discussing this, but make sure you have a good support system with people you feel comfortable with. Everyone in my life is very understanding and willing to help. Don't keep anything to yourself- you'll go crazy if you do that!

Cadg0986 · January 2015

katehgee said:

JCM285 said:
@katehgee‌ wow harsh. We didn't kick our dog out of the house for barking. Obviously we know he is going to bark. We just wanted to start a routine with LO and didn't want to neglect the dog by not paying attention to him. The only reason we haven't gotten him back is because MIL has been suffering from severe depression as of late and the dog has been helping her cope but ok I'm a bad dog owner lol
You said, and I quote:

"DH is not really interested in taking care of dog anymore and he is afraid that the dog will jump onto the baby (he's just a Maltese so very small but he is a but hyper). Obviously we are not leaving dog and baby alone together so I'm not sure why he is so afraid of that happening. It will definitely be an adjustment period but if DH still doesn't want the dog I think ILs will be taking him because I don't want DH to be uncomfortable."

I'm just saying, when you own a pet, you commit to it for life, not just as long as it's convenient. Has your husband done anything to help your dog with the transition? Made him feel welcome? Trained him to know that the baby is no threat? Given him a little love? If your dog is helping your MIL cope, as dogs have such wonderful abilities to do, then maybe she should adopt a dog of her own, or even get a therapy dog. But you, your husband, and now your baby are your dog's family. You are his pack. You can justify it however you want, but ditching a dog because you had a baby is ditching a dog because you had a baby. Period.

Preach! Dogs aren't disposable. We can't give our dog quite as much attention but she's still our baby. It's kinda like having an older child with a new baby, there's an adjustment period. We aren't worried about her jumping on the baby. I mean, she's 35lb dog and can get overly excited and we just don't leave the baby on the floor during that time. But she's definitely licked LO a few times even though she's pretty uninterested since LO can't pet or do anything with her.

Mrw218 · January 2015

You need to shower. You need to have someone sit with the baby for 1 hr while you pamper urself. It will do wonders for the nighttime blues and anxiety and feeling like a gross slob. I took baby shopping today and just bought some pretty nursing nightgowns and pajamas that actually fit me and it does wonders for u. Do I still hate mirrors....with a passion...I'm so vein as well. But seriously you need to do stuff for urself

JCM285 · January 2015

New question: is anyone else who is looking forward to going back to work having baby blues related to not being with LO all day? I feel fortunate that my parents are watching DS for a while but I find myself getting upset whenever it crosses my mind that I will have to be away from him for more than the few hours I spend going out now. Does this get any better?

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