Baby Blues

kelsz12

What are you ladies doing to combat the baby blues, if any of you are experiencing it?

DS was born 12/18 and we were home from the hospital on 12/21. I think with the hustle of the holidays and euphoria of being a new mom, the first week wasn't too awful. I've cried almost every day since being home but each time had a trigger (mostly my mother being crazy). Today I'm just feeling so blah for no real reason.

I can't drive for another week because I had a CS, our pedi advised us to not take LO out until he is 6 weeks old and DH goes back to work on Monday which I get sad thinking about.

I'm going to talk to my doctor about this when I see her next week but just looking for some support in the time being! Xoxo new and soon to be mamas.

klmurner

Right there with you. I was never very emotional during pregnancy, so I feel like I wasn't prepared for this wall of emotion to hit me afterward. Baby was born 12/18 and we stayed at the hospital until 12/20. Every day I have had issues with something, but it has gotten better the past couple days. I had awful anxiety about taking the baby to family Christmases (looking back, hubby and I agreed that we would have rather had just the grandparents come and visit here instead of running the family gauntlet). The first pediatrician visit was incredibly nervewracking, between all the sick kids and the lab tech that squeezed on my babe's heel for a what seemed like an hour (realistically 3 minutes) for a bilirubin test... I left in tears. I've definitely been in mama-bear mode, and I'm having awful anxiety thinking about my hubby returning to work... And more distantly in the future, returning myself and taking baby to daycare. I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

However, today I took a shower, put on makeup, and left for a couple hours to have lunch with my mom while dad had some time with the baby. It felt good to do something human, but I was so glad to be back in my home bubble afterward. I'm also anxious thinking about establishing new routines once we are both back to work... And even found myself tearing up at lunch looking at all the older kids around and thinking that someday my baby will be big.

I've told myself that if it isn't considerably better after 2 weeks that I will visit my OB or GP and see what they'd suggest.

hollieandaaron2012

Mine also lasted for a little over two weeks. I never cried while pregnant but those first two weeks after birth we're awful. Literally I had a break down the first day home and my moms response was it was about time. Baby blues for the first few weeks are normal but if after that they don't get better or if you ever have thoughts about harming yourself the you need to seek medical help.

Try to get out if the house every few days and remember to tell your husband when you need help. Men don't pick up on hints.

bunbun21

I am right there with you. Work screwed my DH over so he was back to work before we even got out of the hospital. Usually half way through the work day is when I have my mini meltdown. It's mostly exhaustion since I'm trying to do all night feedings so DH can sleep for work. He just holds me and lets me cry when he gets home and reminds me it's normal. Everyday gets a little better, but my extreme anxiety about SIDS is constantly in the forefront of my mind, it's becoming an obsession. 

Cadg0986

bunbun21 said:

I am right there with you. Work screwed my DH over so he was back to work before we even got out of the hospital. Usually half way through the work day is when I have my mini meltdown. It's mostly exhaustion since I'm trying to do all night feedings so DH can sleep for work. He just holds me and lets me cry when he gets home and reminds me it's normal. Everyday gets a little better, but my extreme anxiety about SIDS is constantly in the forefront of my mind, it's becoming an obsession. 

My LO is 3 weeks and 3 days and although my baby blues has subsided, my fear of SIDS has not. I think about it every night. I hate nighttime for that reason alone! I get an alright amount of sleep each night, but I still constantly worry.

To OP--my baby blues ended after around 2 weeks. I was in the hospital being induced for over 60 hours (2 and a half days) before ending up having a c section so I was already emotional from that. Then once LO was born I was just a wreck. I cried over everything and I mean EVERYTHING for 2 weeks lol. It got better, it gets better. I'm not an emotional person and hormones never really bothered me while pregnant, but phew that post Partum hormone fluctuation had me become a total emotional wreck!

paigep8

Thank your sharing. I needed to read this today. I too am paranoid about SIDS, therefore not sleeping great, and am feeling so overwhelmed. I have noticed my anxiety and emotions are higher in the evening, which I think is caused by a fear that I won't be able to get any sleep between a hungry, crying baby and my nervousness about him sleeping. I also have a lot of emotion over breastfeeding. BFing is going well, but I feel like it has me ties to the house and I am not used to sitting at home all day. I had a lactation consultant come to the house today and feel better because she recommended pumping to give me and my nipples a break. I feel relief about that, but started crying when she left about the shear magnitude of the responsibility of being a mother. Praying for peace and a routine.

rshamos

I have always been an emotional person, but I found the extra stress of being around family the first two weeks compounded everything. I have been taking pictures of LO in different outfits/poses and getting out of the house when MH gets home. I have also been spring cleaning my house.

racheldiaries

I swore that I was never going to feel the same. I was overwhelmed and DH was working longer work hours than normal which led to me feeling even more overwhelmed and crying over everything. Here we are two weeks after her birth and I am in a much better place. I am almost back to myself. I do have a crying spell every now and then still. Make the time to do things for yourself still. 

kboyet

klmurner said:

Right there with you. I was never very emotional during pregnancy, so I feel like I wasn't prepared for this wall of emotion to hit me afterward. Baby was born 12/18 and we stayed at the hospital until 12/20. Every day I have had issues with something, but it has gotten better the past couple days. I had awful anxiety about taking the baby to family Christmases (looking back, hubby and I agreed that we would have rather had just the grandparents come and visit here instead of running the family gauntlet). The first pediatrician visit was incredibly nervewracking, between all the sick kids and the lab tech that squeezed on my babe's heel for a what seemed like an hour (realistically 3 minutes) for a bilirubin test... I left in tears. I've definitely been in mama-bear mode, and I'm having awful anxiety thinking about my hubby returning to work... And more distantly in the future, returning myself and taking baby to daycare. I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

However, today I took a shower, put on makeup, and left for a couple hours to have lunch with my mom while dad had some time with the baby. It felt good to do something human, but I was so glad to be back in my home bubble afterward. I'm also anxious thinking about establishing new routines once we are both back to work... And even found myself tearing up at lunch looking at all the older kids around and thinking that someday my baby will be big.

I've told myself that if it isn't considerably better after 2 weeks that I will visit my OB or GP and see what they'd suggest.

You described me to a tee. Not sad about the baby but more about leaving him and him growing up... Oh and really sad about DH going back to work.

Good (in a way) to know other people feel the same anxieties.

rshamos

The hardest thing for me was that one moment, LO was inside me, and I could rub my belly, I was the only one that could feel his movements, I knew he was safe. The next moment, he is outside, and I don't have that control anymore. I can't hold him 24/7 and protect him the same way, which causes a lot of anxiety.

diz1313

The twins are 3 weeks 3 days.... I had big time blues the first week, but that was triggered by my smaller twin being readmitted to the PICU at five days old. Talk about a heart breaking ordeal. I was doing pretty well and only having a hormonal tear fest every few days or so.... Now though, now I am getting emotionally fragged. I think part of it is exhaustion. One of the girls is fussy during the day and the other is fussy all night and I am not getting nearly enough sleep. I can't "sleep when they sleep" because one is usually awake and fussing and more importantly I have a four year old son who needs me. So I am punchy from lack of sleep, I am a hormonal time bomb, I am insanely in love with my children, and I am afraid that if I am not up to my best they will suffer for it one way or the other.

cwbh928

I never thought I would have experienced the "baby blues" but I definitely did. It was a rough first week, I was so emotional and everything made me cry! My DH was worried I was going to eventually get to PPD, but thankfully it is finally starting to let up! I was worried that I was never going to be happy! I think what made it worse for me was the fact I was struggling with breastfeeding and no one around me understood what I was going thru. I know one thing that did help was confiding in my DH, even though he didn't always understand my feelings, it was great to get it off my chest. Plus like a lot of other said, I feel helpless sometimes since I can't protect him from everything! Every little cough, sneeze, etc freaks me out. My poor little one has reflux, not serious but it's bad enough and his breathing is so loud and variable so that freaks me out too. I will say SIDS is still a big fear of mine as well, therefore I barely sleep at night.

GradSchoolPrincess

I also really appreciate this thread I'm 8 days PP and I cry at the drop of a hat. Mostly about my DH and how I'm afraid I'll never feel close to him again. Looking forward to the 2 wk mark and also just started taking my placenta in pill form.
Thanks all for sharing your experiences and feelings it makes me feel like this too shall pass.

gdaniels77

I agree with PPs, my first week/2 weeks were definitely the toughest and then it tapered off after that. I would call DH crying almost every day because of something or another my mom did to upset me while she was here with us. And for some reason the slideshow that the photographer from the hospital sent us of the newborn photos would send me into a tailspin of tears if I even heard the intro to the song. I would worry that if I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop.

The hardest part for me (which I realize now was caused by the hormones) was feeling all of these overly complex things that I knew wouldn't make sense to anyone else. As crazy as it sounds I was really upset that I wouldn't be able to experience my labor and delivery process ever again because it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life (even though my entire birth plan got turned upside down). And like someone else said, the sudden change from inside baby being solely protected by me to vulnerable outside baby that I couldn'f control all the outside factors made me incredibly anxious. Those two things combined made me really sad and nervous that we weren't in the hospital for longer, because I felt like we were all safer there.

I was so worried that I would always feel that way and I thought there was no way it would get easier, but seriously it felt like someone flipped a switch from one day to the next and most of those feelings just resolved. I'm even finding it easier to let LO sleep a little bit further away from me (like a whole two feet lol) without having major anxiety about SIDS. I think as long as you have someone to talk it out with and reassure you that it gets easier and you're doing everything you're supposed to in the meantime really makes a huge difference. So take advantage of that and ignore anyone else who gives you any negative thoughts or worries.

JCM285

I'm glad you started this thread. I was great for a while but over the last couple of days I have been an emotional mess. LO has some acid reflux after feedings and was particularly agitated last night. It made me really upset until finally I ended up pushing his mattress to an incline and that seemed to help. Then today I argued with DH about when to get our dog back from my parents. He doesnt want to get the dog back for a long time since he likes to bark a lot and is a bit hyper but I miss him so that ended with me crying too. We still have no idea what we are doing about that. I think my sleep deprivation is also making certain things more unbearable but I know it will get better eventually.

calvinfoster

I'm not sure if I'm experiencing baby blues or just situational blues, because baby is 4 weeks and 2 days and I didn't start feeling down until Friday. But I threw my back out really badly approximately 10 days ago and it just keeps getting worse, and I have three kids to mind. I'm starting to get really weepy and frustrated. My back hurts so much I can barely hobble around or lift the baby. We are visiting my parents for the holiday (which is why I'm posting from my phone and look like a new poster) and I can't get an appointment for my gp to give me a referral for pt until after the new year. I feel like I'm wasting my maternity leave crippled in pain on the couch. I had all these visions of spending tons of quality time with my boys doing fun stuff and I can't really do much at all. MH and my parents took my older kids to a hockey game while I sat here on the couch with the baby on my chest. I needed to change him and it hurt so much to get up I started to cry and then I couldn't stop. I feel really overwhelmed right now and like I can't handle anything. h is back to work tomorrow and I'm home all week with my three. I'm dreading it and I was so looking forward to it.

Thanks for listening to me whine. Sort of being a downer today. I know the op was looking for suggestions to beat the blues, and I really didn't provide any.

rshamos

@JCM285‌ it has really helped me having my dogs home. As my older "children" they give me emotional support while MH is at work.

kz's_girlygirl

^wss- we have 3 cats and they all snuggle around me and have really helped me feel a bit more 'normal' amidst all of these changes.

@OP- I am 17 days pp and the first bit was pretty awful for me. I cried every day, numerous times, over anything. I kept thinking that after all these years of trying to have a baby I should be feeling blissed out...but instead I felt like I had made a huge mistake. I felt like there was no way I could take care of this baby and still hang on to my own sanity and personal freedom. I feel awful saying this- but I went to the grocery store by myself about a week pp just to get out and seriously thought about just staying away for the night.

I can tell you that things have definitely improved for me- those hormones are no joke though. I'm not crying all day every day anymore, and I don't have as much anxiety (dread even) when babe cries or fusses. I'm holding her right now after giving her a bath, and her sweet baby breaths and little twitches could happily occupy me for hours.

It wasn't love at first sight for me like I thought it would be, but my heart is full to bursting now when I look at her and I truly can't imagine her not being here.

I hope the clouds clear for you soon as well

lissjm

I have had a lot of the same feelings as PPs which has be reassuring. Its been two weeks today. I cried a whole afternoon because I wanted to be back in the hospital. As crazy as it sounds I felt so safe there and all my nurses were awesome. I got home and felt so scared even though my DH was there and trying to help. Even though I have a healthy baby I have cried a lot over not being pregnant anymore. I loved being pregnant and wasn't ready for it to be over. DS was two weeks early and I just didn't feel ready. I cried about the moment of his birth and immediately thereafter being a bit of blur and have made DH recount it to me over and over. I cry about DS growing up too fast already and not wanting to be without him. I cry about DH going back to work and us never having time like this as a family again. I am happy overall but emotionally overwhelmed. If I don't feel better in the next week or two I will see my doctor. But in the meantime I try to talk to DH about it, nap when I can, and eat well. A small cup of coffee this afternoon helped me a bit through the day.

kz's_girlygirl

pooky08 said:

Here's a question - is it possible for men to have their own version of the baby blues?

I would say absolutely yes. Life as we all know it has changed, hormones or not it's a big adjustment.

JCM285

@rshamos‌ thanks we decided we are going to see how baby and dog are around each other next week. My dog was there for me thru my pregnancy esp when I was on maternity leave and LO wasn't here yet. I was really upset when DH didn't want him back but I'm happy we are going to see how he reacts to LO soon. The dog is really my first baby so giving him up would be upsetting but my ILs are willing to take him for us if it doesn't work out. I feel so much better now that we have a plan. :-)

AColeman82

I'm super paranoid about SIDS like some of you had mentioned. There is a monitor by Levana Called oma+. It clips on to the front of their diaper and detects belly movement/breathing. If there is no movement for so many seconds an alarm goes off. It is the one thing I was adamant about having. Of course I still worry, but i am not awake all night making sure the baby is still breathing.

JCM285

@kc295905‌ yes DH brought baby's hat from the hospital home the first night when he stopped by the house to walk/feed the dog I think we did things a little backwards because we asked my parents to take care of our dog during the first couple weeks at home so we could concentrate on LO and dog hasn't been around since the day we brought LO home. My parents stopped by yesterday to drop some things off and they had the dog. He was pretty good actually. We let him smell the baby's feet and he only barked a couple of times. The things that worry me the most are that DH is not really interested in taking care of dog anymore and he is afraid that the dog will jump onto the baby (he's just a Maltese so very small but he is a but hyper). Obviously we are not leaving dog and baby alone together so I'm not sure why he is so afraid of that happening. It will definitely be an adjustment period but if DH still doesn't want the dog I think ILs will be taking him because I don't want DH to be uncomfortable.

nashamber

I'm so very grateful for this thread. I've been feeling the baby blues pretty bad these past few days. It started the day beforey husband went back to work. My anxiety and stress is the highest as soon as the sun goes down. It's been q challenge and I keep reminding myself how blessed I am to have the perfect baby who rarely cries. I just feel so alone even though I have the greatest support from my family and especially my husband. It's the strangest thing - I'm surrounded by love but feel so alone. Can't wait for these feelings to subside.

GradSchoolPrincess

13 days pp and having a rough evening - lots of crying and feeling alone even though MH is here and very supportive. I'm ready for the emo roller coaster to subside. Just reread this thread and its helping me to get some perspective.

Jgdrake

I had such anxiety after getting home. LO was born 12/02. She lost almost one pound at our first pedi visit. I constantly worried over her eating and sleeping. After two days home, we all got into the swing of things and she started eating a lot. She's gained two pound since her birthday! Also, we received an Angel Care baby monitor as a gift and I can't begin to express how much I love it. Baby blues will let up. Just make sure you take time for yourself each day. Take a nice hot shower, go for a walk, drink lots of water and rest whenever you can. And don't be afraid to ask for help. People want to help and see your sweet baby!

egen78

I have the levana and it gives me piece of mind

JulieC76

Thank you for starting this thread. I'm 12 days PP and have had terrible baby blues the past week, sometimes for no reason and other times because I feel horrible. I gave up on breastfeeding after I got sores on both nipples and cried just thinking about the pain of her next feeding. So then I felt like a failure even though I am pumping and so far have been able to pump enough for her and more. Then I got a giant rash all over my back. Plus I have Crohn's disease which went dormant for most of my pregnancy but is back but I can't take my meds for it and pump so I'm just trying to deal for as long as possible, and now I have my first ever ingrown fingernail which hurts like crazy. I feel like my body just won't give me a break. Also, I keep thinking about how neither of my parents have visited us yet. We live a little less than two hours from them (they are separated) and my mom is actually quite ill (doesn't work and in oxygen) but did have a chance to visit last week when my aunt and uncle offered to bring her to our house and she said she was tired. My dad doesn't have an excuse, he just didn't visit. It just makes me feel bad that they don't seem to want to meet their only granddaughter. They visited all three of my nephews in the hospital when they were born, but can't visit our LO. I guess I should have expected this though, I was in the hospital for 5 days 2 years ago and they never visited and DH was in for 4 days a few months ago and they never came. It just makes me so sad every time I think about it. And I want to bawl anytime someone asks if my parents have visited or what they think of the LO. Who knows? In my eyes they don't seem to care. DH goes back to work tomorrow and I start my next online grad class so I'm worried about how the added stress will make me feel.

Cheekers2010

Hugs @JulieC76‌ - I have an autoimmune disease that was in remission during pregnancy but is now flaring up. It's really hard to deal with because it truly feels like ones body won't give one a break. It will get better.

allisonkrause

I have found comfort reading this thread! The day after we got home from the hospital, my husband got the WORST stomach bug. He was basically quarantined downstairs for two days while I stayed upstairs with the baby. He is better now, but I have been feeling "down" and extremely anxious ever since. So glad to know that others go through this and that the hormones will subside!!!

jpagano113

LO is 5 weeks and everything you guys described I went through... I was depressed and anxious and questioned whether having a child was the right choice, but I can tell you that these feelings do subside and once you start getting into a routine you won't feel so anxious. It's normal in the beginning since you don't know what to expect. Although some days I am utterly exhausted, I can read my baby's cries and I'm not so lost anymore. Hang in there

kboyet

I've been feeling really down. DH worked all weekend and since he's in the medical field he's gone about 14 hours and basically has to go to bed when he gets home. LO has been so gassy and it's causing him to cry... A LOT. Yesterday LO woke up screaming bloody murder and nothing would calm him. In turn my dog started screeching and howling at the top of his lungs (he's never done that before). Needless to say I started crying next. I just haven't felt like A real person so I need to take some time for myself today.

@JulieC76‌ LO is over a month old and my parents haven't visited either. This is their first grandson and they live less than 2 hours away. Similarly they have three granddaughters and were at the hospital for all of those (my sisters kids). My mom keeps posting of Facebook about how she can't wait to get her hands on LO and it irritates the piss out of me because uhm hello he's a month and you haven't been. (Neither of them work either).

Nice to share with you guys... Feeling alone stinks and the weirdest part is that my DH is amazing so I really shouldn't feel this way. Fx that things get better for everyone ASAP.

GradSchoolPrincess

marsavary said:

@kboyet‌ that sucks about your parents

This is my first day alone - DH is back at work. I'm hoping things go relatively smoothly. It is nerve wracking though. Add it a super sore left boob and we've got a fun Monday planned.

Same boat, first day with DH back at work. Hope your day is going well so far! I was nervous but so far so good- LO has been sleeping almost all morning with 2 wake ups for BF. If every day is like this I might be able to shower and do laundry regularly !

Eora3

Count me in as well. I hit the "one month" wall and all the sleepless nights have caught up with me. LO and I can't figure out BF so I am pumping and bottle feeding. He eats every two hours with the exception of one four hour stretch at night. It is really hard to keep up with when all I want to do is go back to sleep and instead I have to pump so I have the bottle ready for the next feeding.

I also have two toddlers (almost 3 and 1.5 years) to chase all day. Needless to say "sleep when the baby sleeps" just doesn't happen at my house. My DH is also back to work and will be out of town for most of the week.

I am tired and cranky. My ODS keeps asking me if I am grumpy or happy. He is eyeing me like I am a ticking time bomb. I feel horrible for being so short tempered but I am in survival mode and totally tapped out.

Mrw218

I tried to get some cleaning done today. Only should've taken about 45min but LO wanted to be up and fussy constantly. Then I finally got him down and the mail man shows up and rings the doorbell like dude!!! Wtf! I'll get it. So then the dog goes crazy, wakes the baby for the millionth time. It had already taken me about 4hrs to do a 45 minute job. I had chemicals on my hands so had to wash up before addressing the baby and he is now screaming bloody murder I just had to scream out loud in frustration. Not at any one particular. Dog went running baby screamed louder and I just felt like poop. It all ended just fine but wow. Sometimes I just want to feel like a productive human instead of liquefying my brains in front of the tv bc that's all I have time for in between his feedings.

xc1148

@marsavary @GradSchoolPrincess‌ how did your first solo days go? Today was supposed to be my first solo day, but my mom came by to watch the baby so I could nap. I'm glad she did, I watched our baby all last night do DH could sleep, and it was awful, she was gassy and crying for about 2 hours. And she only sleeps on our chests, which is fine but I never get a chance to completely sleep bc I like to check on her. I find I get more sad when I anticipate a days/night alone, I get worried I won't sleep or I won't be able to comfort the baby. The actual day today was fine.

BK0186

Thanks for this thread, I normally lurk but it's been a long night.  DD was born on 12/19 and since has her period where she doesn't like to sleep from around 12am-6am.  It's exhausting being the only one up with her at night and lonely at the same time that it causes me to have anxiety when it gets dark.  FTM but this is H's 3rd so naturally he is better at all of this than I am.  My MIL is also here, so between the two of them I am super thankful that I have help, but on the other hand it also makes me feel like the weak link and being the mom it's really hard.  They are both great at taking the time to relax her and get her to sleep, where I still struggle with it after 2.5 weeks.  I know it will get better, just difficult with emotions being all over the place.  I did so much research being pregnant about premature labor, labor, what to eat, etc. that I feel behind in the newborn department.

GradSchoolPrincess

xc1148 said:

@marsavary @GradSchoolPrincess‌ how did your first solo days go? Today was supposed to be my first solo day, but my mom came by to watch the baby so I could nap. I'm glad she did, I watched our baby all last night do DH could sleep, and it was awful, she was gassy and crying for about 2 hours. And she only sleeps on our chests, which is fine but I never get a chance to completely sleep bc I like to check on her.

I find I get more sad when I anticipate a days/night alone, I get worried I won't sleep or I won't be able to comfort the baby. The actual day today was fine.

Exact same here. More depression/anxiety about time alone and everything intensifies in the evening. My first day alone was pretty good. I managed to do the dishes and shower which was more than I had anticipated I could do alone.
Oddly though, after such a good day LO had a really rough night, was at breast 90% of the night and I got no sleep. At my MW appt this morning they were concerned about my mood and other symptoms and discussed a support group and medication. At 16 days PP I feel like it's still early to be signing up for these things. I really want to "wait it out" bc my hope is this is the worst of it. I'm not against those supports I just want to wait a little more before I make a decision.

Sry bout long response- this may deserve a #deardiary..

xc1148

@BK0186‌ It does get easier! And while it may seem as if some people are "better" at it than you...you are the mom! No amount of experience or knowledge can trump that. Baby needs you and loves you Your instincts will kick in, trust me. 

For the 12-6am stretch...have you tried making a list of things to check for to soothe baby? It's important to remind yourself that babies cry for no reason sometimes, and all you can do is cuddle and try to soothe them but it's not your fault. Otherwise, it's helped me to have a little checklist of things to go through...if nothing else, it passes the time!

1- change diaper

2- feed

3- change rooms (temperature etc)

4- change baby position (over shoulder, on your chest)

5- skin to skin

6- change the baby's clothes (they could be hot/cold)

7- white noise (our baby LOVES the vacuum cleaner!)

8- add a million other things to this list (swaddle, burp...)

The point being, there is usually (not always) something you can fix, and like I said, if not, going through the routine will pass the time while baby fusses. Good luck!!! 

GradSchoolPrincess

Hang in @marsavary‌ sending positive thoughts your way, FX for longer naps

rshamos

@katylou91‌ it sounds silly, but shower EVERY DAY. and brush your hair. The hospital nurse told me that before I left and I'm glad she did. LO will probably cry while you are gone, but it will make you feel like a human again. I think that helped me get through PPD the most.

Mommy stuff is hard! You aren't the only one struggling. I am going through the same body issues as well. Just remember you have to take care of yourself too!