Not sure if this is an UO or FFC, but I have thoughts. My child will learn to sleep on his own when he darn well feels like sleeping on his own. Even my toddler still needs help eating (he can't prepare his own food), dressing, pottying (still in diapers, but likes to sit on the potty), picking up heavy things, getting places, and many other things. I don't see why helping him sleep is so horrible. Heck, my baby can't even move from place to place without my help, I'm sure as heck still going to help him go to sleep or get back to sleep if he needs it.
Would you call it a problem if a one year old still fell down on occasion or needed help or encouragement to walk? Why is it such a problem for them to need help with sleep?
Now, my definite FFFC, my trio is playing for a house party in a fancy shmancy part of town from 10-11 and we've been invited to join in the drinks and desserts after to ring in the new year. I could make it home by midnight to celebrate with DH, but he'll probably be asleep after dealing with dinner and bedtime for the two boys on his own, so I think I'm just going to stay out and party. For once.
All of this. Why are we as a culture in such a damn hurry for our babies not to be babies? Julia slept through the night early on, from like 4 weeks. Then we found out that she wasn't getting enough to eat, and my supply dropped, partially because I wasn't feeding her at night. So I'm perfectly happy that now she wakes up twice every night to eat. Not saying that our situation is typical, but I'm not in any hurry for her to STTN. Same thing with solids. APA says 6 months, and babies don't even need solid food nutritionally for a year. I guess this is all an UO, but I just don't see the hurry for any of it.
It's not necessarily a hurry all the time. You don't know family dynamics of every household. Parents may be utterly exhausted and at that point, it's not healthy nor safe for mom or dad to be getting up multiple times a night. Around 6-9 months old, my DS1 was waking 3-6 times a night out of habit and would not just stop on his own. It was taking a toll of my health, family and marriage. Sleep training at 9 months was the best thing that happened. DS went from fussy and overtired to a happy well rested baby. We functioned so much better. I WISH I would have listened to my pedi at 6 months and did some training then. Waiting until he was ready would have never happened and guarantee he would still be a crappy sleeper at 3 years old.
Sure but that's 9 months. Our babies are 4-5 months right now. Maybe a couple are just approaching 6 months. CIO and sleep training and STTN have been talked about since September.
This is true and shouldn't be an expectation that they should be sleeping thru the night at 3-5 months old. I do think though that when most pedis are offering sleep advice, they are trying to encourage better sleep habits. Bad habits do start around this age. My kid is waking up 2-3 times a night and I know he is not hungry every time but I nurse him to get him back down... And I know that it's a bad habit and unless I do some sort of training it will probably get worse or continue. The older the baby gets, the harder sleep training becomes. That said, I will not sleep train this one until I get the green like from our pediatrician but I know I will have to.
We will be sleep training next month for sure. Not to cut back MOTN wakings. But simply because through her 4 month regression, she's learned to sleep on top of me and won't rest fully anywhere else. It early yes... Or according to some, why not wait until she wants to sleep on her own. But in my mind, her only napping for 10 minutes because I tried to put her down or because her big brother needs help with something... Is absolutely not conducive to her getting the proper rest she needs to allow her to play and grow and learn. Simple as that. As soon as we sleep trained DS, his naps were longer and he put himself to sleep each night within minutes, not the hour or two it takes to go down. His play times lasted longer than an hour and he was happier. So totally an UO, but for the sake of her learning that her bed is as good as my body for a bed, she is going to learn a new sleep association before her sleep continues to go downhill.
My H is a let them be babies person. When I said I wanted to sleep train to get her to learn to sleep in her bed I got a blank stare. Then, he responded with, "she is only four months old, just hold the kid." Obviously, it isn't his arms that are falling off at night.
My pedi recommended sleep training at our 4 month appointment 3 weeks ago, but I held off until last night. I just couldn't take the stomach pain anymore. So finally, we let her cry for 30 minutes until she finally put herself to sleep. Today? Cried for 5 minutes for two of her naps, before putting herself to sleep, and put herself to sleep with zero crying for the other two. Normally? I would have bounced her for about 4 hours by now. And what would that have accomplished? Why not teach your child something if she's ready to learn? I just don't see what waiting for the sake of waiting does. At very best, it's just prolonging the inevitable. At the worst, it could be detrimental to the parent's mental or physical well being.
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@cdseno, so sorry to hear your LO is having a rough time! That sounds terrible for all of you!! I had a similar issue with DD so I know difficult that can be. Have you considered taking your LO to a GI? If I remember correctly from previous posts you are already dairy free so it may be helpful to have a GI take a look. Just a thought...
DD screamed non-stop for two months. I kept taking her in to the doctor because I felt like something was wrong but they kept dismissing my concerns. Turns out DD wasn't a difficult baby as the doctor suggested but had MSPI. I think your gut is usually right so if you feel like there is something more going on there probably is.Like you, I don't believe a baby is generally that miserable for no reason. I'm glad that you are able to get a second opinion and hope you are able to get some answers. Sending creepy internet hugs your way!
UO. Baby lead weaning scares the shit out of me. I blame the video on you tube with the baby choking during his BLW session. My nerves can't handle that shit man.
Thank you for reminding me I need to watch some videos!
My pedi recommended sleep training at our 4 month appointment 3 weeks ago, but I held off until last night. I just couldn't take the stomach pain anymore. So finally, we let her cry for 30 minutes until she finally put herself to sleep. Today? Cried for 5 minutes for two of her naps, before putting herself to sleep, and put herself to sleep with zero crying for the other two. Normally? I would have bounced her for about 4 hours by now. And what would that have accomplished? Why not teach your child something if she's ready to learn? I just don't see what waiting for the sake of waiting does. At very best, it's just prolonging the inevitable. At the worst, it could be detrimental to the parent's mental or physical well being.
I'm glad it worked for you (really, truly, not snarkily, because you really did need that change), and you were most definitely in a situation where something had to change. Of course you teach them things when they're ready to learn, but that's where I'm not convinced. We don't just decide one day that we're tired of dressing our kids so we leave them naked until they can figure out how to put pants on. We don't just decide we're tired of feeding them so we leave them in the kitchen until they can figure it out for themselves. But, if they ask to go to the potty and say they want big kid underwear, we go with it and don't keep them in diapers. It's such a judgement call, and you have to just know your own kid. I'm all for that.
What I'm not for is people giving me an arbitrary age by which, if I haven't let my kid CIO, he's NEVER going to learn to sleep on his own. Sleep in our house is not broken, so I'm not going to "fix it" and change what we're doing just to satisfy someone else's (I most frequently run into it from people with zero kids of their own) arbitrary sense of "should." D nursed to sleep when he was 2, he no longer does at 2.5, so clearly they CAN learn other ways of falling asleep past the age of 2. We're not waiting for the sake of waiting. We're not delaying the inevitable. I will not have to let him CIO at 18 just so I don't have to go college with him to help him sleep.
I'm also a little concerned that, as a society, we've lost track of what a biologically normal progression towards independent sleep looks like because we're under so much pressure to have them sleeping through the night so we can get back to work. I'm pretty sure humanity wouldn't have made it if we left our infants to CIO in the next cave over so many eons ago. But back then, we really did have a village to raise our kids and all the work all the time didn't fall on one lone mother.
Goodness, motherhood has made me way crunchier than I ever imagined. I'll just be over here on the commune milking the goats.
FFFC: I don't want to go to DH's Aunts for New Year's Day. I just want to stay home with our little family in our pjs. MIL will be looking for an apology for my asking her to respect our parenting choices...she is NOT getting one. I did nothing wrong. Maybe I will be ''sick" tomorrow.
My UO- I'm getting really tired of reading sleep training arguments.
But I thought we were having such a lovely, respectful discussion on the topic. At least no one has told me they feel sorry for my husband or kids yet.
I am not getting tired of your siggy.
We did BLW with #1 and he only had one episode of gagging that was a little nerve wracking. It wasn't that bad.
FFFC again: I just put a jamberry sample on and I kind of like it. I may have to order some. I hate myself a little right now.
I am so looking forward to the gig tonight.
I am also so procrastinating on a writing project while my kids nap, can you tell?
Thanks guys! Day 2 has gone even better. Two naps and zero minutes of crying before she put herself to sleep. I honestly can't even believe it. I feel so dumb for not having tried this sooner.
But I definitely get what @violajack is saying about predetermined timelines. I think decisions should be made on a case-by-case basis and only when a child is showing signs of readiness. Brooke has been sleeping through the night for almost 3 months now and when she cried before bedtime, I knew it wasn't because she was hungry or needed a fresh diaper, because I had just fed and changed her. It just got to the point where she would be passed out for 10 minutes in our arms and then she'd wake and cry the second she hit the crib. She was tired, but keeping herself awake just for the sake of being held. I'm fine with that to a certain extent (I didn't cut out the bouncing cold turkey, but rather established a set limit of 500 bounces before putting her in the crib to fall asleep herself), but at a certain point, it's not helping either of us, and I understand that different people hit that limit at different times. Each baby and circumstance is different, so I don't judge anyone for sleep training, or not sleeping training for that matter, provided they're not following some arbitrary set guideline, but rather responding to their baby's own unique cues.
I'm being featured in a new pregnancy/motherhood blog during the month of October, so if you ever wanted to know more about my pregnancy, birth, and motherhood experiences than anyone ever should, check out my posts in the link below!
So my husband's cousin and his wife (who we are close to but moved to the East coast a year ago and now don't see often) just posted on their facebook that they are naming their daughter who is due in 1 month the same name as our LO! It's not even a common name. Even when she was born he said thanks for taking our name. We had never discussed names before with them. He then proceeded to tell us that the other name they liked their good friend stole from them and how he was pissed about it. So I feel like he would totally understand. Wtf we are so pissed and wrote him an email being like for reals? What would you do?
Honestly if it was me I would let it go. It's not someone you see on a daily basis so how much will it affect your LOs life?
This. If it was someone you saw all the time, eh, OK. Live on the opposite side of the country? Not worth being upset over. What's the name, out of curiosity?
I don't understand getting worked up over the same name. Realistically, we all have the same name as someone else. I am friends with several people who have the exact first and middle name as me.
My #1 name was taken by DH cousin, so we picked another. It is kind of weird to use the same name within family, even though you don't see them much. Calling them out isn't really going to help or change anything though.
August 2014 Siggy Challenge: Motivational Speaking for Moms
The name is Hazel. Ugh it's also like what kind of people they are, etc. guess I'll have to get over it. I would just never do that so it's hard for me to understand.
Yeah, I don't see the issue. Nobody owns a name. My best friend and I both plan on using the name Blake (she, if she has a boy; and me, whether I have a boy or a girl).
Neither of us care.
I'm being featured in a new pregnancy/motherhood blog during the month of October, so if you ever wanted to know more about my pregnancy, birth, and motherhood experiences than anyone ever should, check out my posts in the link below!
So my husband's cousin and his wife (who we are close to but moved to the East coast a year ago and now don't see often) just posted on their facebook that they are naming their daughter who is due in 1 month the same name as our LO! It's not even a common name. Even when she was born he said thanks for taking our name. We had never discussed names before with them. He then proceeded to tell us that the other name they liked their good friend stole from them and how he was pissed about it. So I feel like he would totally understand. Wtf we are so pissed and wrote him an email being like for reals? What would you do?
I'm a bit confused. Are you upset they are making a big deal out of using the name or are you upset that they are using the name you used?
Strange story about names. We picked a name for DD2 shortly after finding out her sex. We called her that name the rest of my pregnancy. A lady who was due after me chose the same name for her DD. After DD2 was born we looked at her and changed her name on the spot. Then, that lady gave birth and named her DD the name we ended up choosing. It was kinda funny. I always wonder if that was a crazy coincidence or not.
@leannerivers I get where you're coming from and honestly I would be a bit annoyed too. However, IMO it's one of those in the moment annoyances. One day you won't care in any way. Don't sweat it.
Couple name stories!! DS was actually named after DH until about an hour before we left the hospital, we're both glad we made the switch now LoL
When I was born, my mom had the name Caitlin picked out...the woman she roomed with had her daughter the day before and also named her Caitlin - my mom felt the need to change my name. Therefore, I am not Caitlin. Strange enough, that Caitlin & I became good friends through elementary & high school - so I'm actually glad we didn't have the same name! LOL
Re: WTF/UO/FFFC
first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy
It's a girl! Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!
MIL will be looking for an apology for my asking her to respect our parenting choices...she is NOT getting one. I did nothing wrong. Maybe I will be ''sick" tomorrow.
Thanks guys! Day 2 has gone even better. Two naps and zero minutes of crying before she put herself to sleep. I honestly can't even believe it. I feel so dumb for not having tried this sooner.
Neither of us care.
When I was born, my mom had the name Caitlin picked out...the woman she roomed with had her daughter the day before and also named her Caitlin - my mom felt the need to change my name. Therefore, I am not Caitlin. Strange enough, that Caitlin & I became good friends through elementary & high school - so I'm actually glad we didn't have the same name! LOL