Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: ---UO---
I will also admit to getting shitty educations in grade school (public) and college (private). So there's that.
Well I don't know about the first part but the fat part was ridiculous and I need to knock it the fuck off. My kid isn't going to know self-depreciating humor.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
https://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/attachment-parenting/Pros-and-cons
Totes. Babies will get sick but I'm going to do my part to keep her healthy.
That's why when kids are too young to understand concepts like empathy and right, redirection is key. Once they're old enough to grasp what they "should" be doing and start to understand why, when redirection isn't enough, natural consequences come in to play. It can also be helpful to create an environment which minimizes the likelihood of kids getting into trouble...kid-proofing helps a lot. Then you're not reprimanding or saying no every 10 seconds, but they can kind of go play uninhibited.
For me, discipline is about loving guidance and teaching. It's not about punishment or control, it's about acknowledging his feelings and considering how I can teach him in the moment to choose what is right and good.
ETA: moar
I guess I'm just a hard ass parent, or something. But my child has absolutely heard the word no, and will continue to hear it.
I guess I'm just a hard ass parent, or something. But my child has absolutely heard the word no, and will continue to hear it.
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Oh wait! I say no all the time. I'm pretty sure if you were keeping count it's in the top 3 words I say every day. Sigh...
I mentioned the kid-proofing because somerimes I feel like I'm going to lose my mind with all the "no's" and constant picking at DS to stop doing random things he's not supposed to. If I make the living room kid-proofed, everyone's more relaxed. That was just one example.
I am NOT a fan of permissive parenting, but that's not what attachment parenting done right is. And consequences that are "natural" are weighty in relation to the behavior and the kid's age. Some natural consequences are pretty tough for DS (especially ones like leaving some place if he can't be calm or losing a toy for the afternoon if he keeps trying to tickle his brother with it), but he learns!
I do know a mom who tries not to ever say no, but it didn't work out. :P
I guess I'm just a hard ass parent, or something. But my child has absolutely heard the word no, and will continue to hear it.
Preach.
I agree. The word NO is awesome. It's short and quick and very clear, and as I said...I say it all day.
TBH, I didn't really think spanking was that big of deal (as long as it wasn't overdone) before I got flamed to high hell on this board earlier on. Hearing everyone else's opinion on it and what it stems from (I think it was @nicb13 who said that it is a reaction out of anger) made me think about it differently. You'll be happy to know I haven't spanked Layla once since all that - not that I routinely did it before.
One of the things I love about this board is getting to read different perspectives and parenting philosophies and to learn about the reasons behind the various choices we make as parents. It's cool that you've thought more about whether spanking is something you're comfortable doing as a form of discipline for DD.
We just got over RSV so I know it. I do worry about it but still won't put mittens on my kid.
The rsv is what I meant. For the record I've never put those mittens on my kid
Eta. And by puppy I mean my 5 year old dog.
However, what would you do if you are walking across the street with your sweet little unicorn child when all of a sudden they start throwing an epic fit. The kind of fit where they throw themselves on the ground and their body suddenly weighs 4 tons and they are being completely irrational (after all they are a child). You try reasoning with them and comforting them but nothing is working. Then you realize there is a car coming towards you and they aren't stopping. You and your child can either get hit by the car OR you can swat their butt (not enough to hurt them but just get their attention so they think oh shit mom is serious) and get them out of the way of the car.
When I start to lose my cool, I straight up offer the choice: "do you want to clean up the cars, or do you want the cars taken away?" And once they've made their choice, we'll talk about the why because we've both had time to process.
I've got no problem with a time out though, it gives the kid time and space to learn how to calm down on their own and if used correctly, they can learn to remove themselves from tense situations before they escalate into a fight.
I also will never punish my kid for telling me the truth. If I catch them doing it, a punishment is fair game, but if I don't and I want to know what happened, if they tell the truth, then all they'll get is the why conversation along with a we-could've-done-it-differently discussion.
My mom would sweetly ask me for the truth and then I'd fess up and either get a spank, slap or grounding and it always felt like a trick, I never felt like I could confide in her or go to her with a problem or mistake. I totally kept more secrets.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.