RANT: People who hate babeis

Mommaswizz · January 2015

Ok I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible. Forgive me if it's not.

I'm having problems with my husband's best friend's fiance. For the sake of making this less confusing we'll call hub's best friend Tony and his fiance Gaby. Tony is total sweetheart. He's been such a great friend to my husband and I and probably one of our biggest supporters in this pregnancy. He's SO excited to be our baby's "uncle". Gaby is a total biiiiiiiiiiotch. Despite trying my hardest to find common ground with her and being as friendly as i possibly can, she and i have never been able to establish a good friendship. We haven't been outwardly mean or horrible to eachother despite how much i would truly love to call her a bitch and be done with it. For the sake of her sweet fiance and my husband, I'm honestly doing my best to be nice.

Sooooo since i got pregnant she's consistently posted to facebook about how much she hates kids and loves dogs, and dogs are better than babies, and yay puppies boo babies, etc... I have no problem with the fact that she doesnt want to have kids, i have plenty of friends who have openly said they don't want kids. All of those people are also respectful and not total assholes about it. Fast forward to yesterday. She posted the story out of scotland about the dog that was abandoned at a train station with a suitcase full of his doggie belongings. Absolutely heartbreaking story for anyone who loves animals (myself included- i've had pets my entire life and couldnt imagine not having animals in my life). My husband made a joke about how maybe the dog ran away and posted a silly picture of a dog wearing sunglasses and hawaiian shirt and suitcase in hand. A EFFING JOKE. She responded by saying how she'll make sure our child has a really nice suitcase to runaway with when the time comes. I try not to get too emotionally involved with a stupid facebook post but i added that I'd prefer she not compare my kid to a dog. To which she retorts (and i quote) that "kids and dogs are exactly the same yo!"

It was all i could do not to call her and ask her what her f*#%ing problem is. While I know she's a snatch and I will never get along with her, what made me most upset was my husband's reaction and lack of defending me and our unborn kid. I know it's immature of me to give a flying f*#% what this chick thinks but my husband consistently tells me not to be bothered by her comments and how he doesnt want my hatred of this chick to ruin his friendship with his best friend. I GET IT. I dont wanna start beef because i really like her fiance too and he's a great friend to me but COME ON, he needs to have my back and maybe ask her to zip it when she's being a complete snot rag.

Ugh so I'm feeling upset and like he would just prefer to keep the peace over making me feel like my feelings are justified. Anyone else dealing with effing trolls who can't keep their opinions about kids to themselves? Rant over, i needed to get this out of my system.

sassypants2010 · January 2015

Both my sister and brother have stated they do not want children. But they are respectful towards myself and others with children. Just because she doesn't want children of her own doesn't mean she has to act that way. Sit your husband down and tell him how hurt you feel and why, I am sure he will understand.

Mommaswizz · January 2015

@Jenniebird327 you're right. I really don't like her. But god honestly, I have tried. i like to think of myself as a generally likeable lady and have never given this girl a reason not to like me. My husband always says she's weird and this is just how she is but i dont think that should give her a reason to talk about my unborn kid like it's a dog.

I feel like i'm crazy cause she always says things that are mean but not direct enough to approach her about. It's just so annoying that she has to be in my life in some capacity, even if it's minimal.

Wah. I know i'm sensitive and taking it too personally.

effthisnoise · January 2015

I'm going to play devil's advocate here. She posted a story about an abandoned dog which was probably really upsetting to her (I want to cry just thinking about that poor pup and I didn't even read it) and your husband made a joke about it. She clearly didn't find it funny. So she "joked" back about packing a suitcase for your kid. You didn't find it funny. Why is it okay for your husband to make a joke, but not her when the result--that someone is offended--is the same? Dogs and kids aren't the same to you, but they are to some people...especially those who haven't had kids yet.

That said, I think you're ascribing intent where there isn't any. Because you already don't like her, you're pissed that she doesn't like kids and think that all of her Facebook posts about dogs and babies are about YOU and YOUR BABY. I bet they aren't. I bet that she just loves dogs.

Even if this is all directed at you? Let it go. She's not your friend. Try to encourage your husband to hang with his best friend without you girls there. And gather more people when you do have to get together with both of them so you have other people to talk to.

Mommaswizz · January 2015

i hate that you guys are probably right. it just drives me crazy how obnoxious and insensitive she can be even if it's not directed towards me. i dont shove my beliefs or my life down people's throats because "to each their own". Her posts about hating babies just very oddly began 2 days after we sent her and her man the news. Probably a coincidence but who knows.

Trampslikeus · January 2015

Block her Facebook posts? This really doesn't seem like it's worth getting this worked up about tbh.

tiffbot1985 · January 2015

Trampslikeus said:
Block her Facebook posts? This really doesn't seem like it's worth getting this worked up about tbh.

This is what I was going to suggest. Just hide her.

kimmarie1105 · January 2015

Yeah, if you don't like her then you shouldn't care what she thinks.
I abide by the following "if I gave a shit, I would give you shit".

Mommaswizz · January 2015

hilariously i already to hide her posts which is probably why i shouldnt have gotten involved at all yesterday. I know nothing good can ever come from when i read her BS.

@ KimMarie1105 i think you just gave me my new favorite quote. Going to have to use that as a mantra to not punish myself by getting involved with senseless drama

Emilywooddesign · January 2015

Could you be more sensitive because you're pregnant? I would just ignore the bitch if I were you, if she's purposely directing her comments to you, she wants a reaction and the best thing to do is not give a fuck. She could also just honestly really love dogs or maybe she is feeling insecure or jealous that you're having a baby and she isn't there yet? ( I have one gf who is like Peter Pan and is constantly trying to convince my other friends that it's not time to have kids yet, bc her bf doesn't believe in marriage or want kids- we are all 28-29 years old) people are constantly comparing their lives to other ppl. Once your baby comes you won't even notice she is alive!

Belle0720 · January 2015

While I definitely don't agree that dogs and kids are the same, you should just block her facebook posts. That's what I do to people who I don't like but can't unfriend without drama.

Mommaswizz · January 2015

@EmilyZemily i have furbabies too and the story totally broke my heart as well. He was just making light of it and being a little silly. you're probably right, i guess we shouldnt joke about dogs if we don't want our kid becoming a joke as well. And I would NEVER say babies are better than dogs and I never did say that. I simply asked her not to compare the two as they're clearly not the same.

tashany99Emilywooddesign it really helps to hear that other people have encountered some negativity and the peter pan syndrome. To add: the people i'm discussing and myself are all in our 30s. Just want to shake her and say grow up and stop mean girling me just because i've decided to have a kid.

kej0004 · January 2015

Caity828 said:

@EmilyZemily i have furbabies too and the story totally broke my heart as well. He was just making light of it and being a little silly. you're probably right, i guess we shouldnt joke about dogs if we don't want our kid becoming a joke as well. And I would NEVER say babies are better than dogs and I never did say that. I simply asked her not to compare the two as they're clearly not the same.

Umm no. There is absolutely no circumstance where it is acceptable to compare a dog to a human. Never ever, no matter how much you love animals. Babies ARE intrinsically better than dogs, they're HUMANS. If your beloved dog and a stranger's child were both in danger, wouldn't you save the human first? Humans are superior to animals, always (hence why we have the capacity to own them).

Sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine and it absolutely drives me crazy.

But, OP, just block the bitch and know that she's an idiot.

C6091 · January 2015

Yup. Just block the bitch as stated above, she sounds slightly immature.. but can I just say.. yaay to the poor little dog at train station in my country! I'm so happy it was rescued, boo the haters! I wanna adopt it!

it's so cutee.. Cute dog Gif Party? (Sorry if I've just breezed in and hijacked a thread..)

veggiemo · January 2015

emilyzemily said:

I have ppl in my life that love animals and hate kids, 2 out of 3 can't have them or are so medicated their bodies couldn't possibly carry one. Point is they have a hair across their ass and are jealous in my opinion but it doesn't bother me at all bc I don't like animals or kids equally haha
Are you saying that the people who can't have kids are jealous and "have a hair across their ass"? I also seem to remember you making an inappropriate comment on a loss thread we've had recently. Side eye big time

I saw this also. Not a big fan right now.

neongreen · January 2015

effthisnoise said:

I'm going to play devil's advocate here. She posted a story about an abandoned dog which was probably really upsetting to her (I want to cry just thinking about that poor pup and I didn't even read it) and your husband made a joke about it. She clearly didn't find it funny. So she "joked" back about packing a suitcase for your kid. You didn't find it funny. Why is it okay for your husband to make a joke, but not her when the result--that someone is offended--is the same? Dogs and kids aren't the same to you, but they are to some people...especially those who haven't had kids yet.
That said, I think you're ascribing intent where there isn't any. Because you already don't like her, you're pissed that she doesn't like kids and think that all of her Facebook posts about dogs and babies are about YOU and YOUR BABY. I bet they aren't. I bet that she just loves dogs.
Even if this is all directed at you? Let it go. She's not your friend. Try to encourage your husband to hang with his best friend without you girls there. And gather more people when you do have to get together with both of them so you have other people to talk to.

@effthisnoise is wise. Every time I post something on facebook, I do it with the awareness that anyone who sees it can reply with anything they want (and I've gotten some seriously eyeroll-worthy comments on stuff before), but just because you and your husband perceived his reply as a joke doesn't mean she's in the wrong for not doing the same. Honestly, I think her response to it was kind of funny and, to all who can see it, comes across better than publicly ranting at him about how cruel and insensitive he is (which is what you want him to do on your behalf?).

Maybe it's not coincidental, but I'm also having a hard time believing that all the stuff she posts is specifically done with the intention of getting in a dig at you. I don't even care about my friends that much to tailor my facebook posts to them, let along acquaintances I'm not too crazy about. Based on this alone, I don't blame your husband for not wanting get involved and take sides.

bossybluejay · January 2015

I don't think children and dogs are equal but it would piss me off if I posted that story to my wall and someone made a joke out of it. I am a huge animal lover and making a joke out of someone abandoning a dog at a train station isn't funny to me. Did you ever think that maybe she thinks a) that your husband was a jerk for making that joke over a topic that she clearly cared very much about and b) that perhaps neither of you should have commented on her post in the first place since you don't agree with her and don't appear to be close enough to make jokes over things like that.

I can see this going both ways, with two legitimate sides. Personally, I would have told my husband he was an idiot for making that comment.

Edit: because that came across more harshly than I intended it to. I just think Facebook stuff gets blown way out of proportion over really dumb things.

Trampslikeus · January 2015

Lindsay13lLou said:
I have ppl in my life that love animals and hate kids, 2 out of 3 can't have them or are so medicated their bodies couldn't possibly carry one. Point is they have a hair across their ass and are jealous in my opinion but it doesn't bother me at all bc I don't like animals or kids equally haha

The fuck??? Troll?

Mommaswizz · January 2015

I seriously do love animals and it was obvious that the story was horrible and this poor dog was horribly mistreated but i couldnt help but laugh at the pic he posted too. Maybe that makes me a terrible person. I photoshopped most of the exchange here. I'm in blue, she's in red.
ETA: photo attach fail (i'm still fairly new at this!)

kej0004 · January 2015

emilyzemily said:

Caity828 said:

@EmilyZemily i have furbabies too and the story totally broke my heart as well. He was just making light of it and being a little silly. you're probably right, i guess we shouldnt joke about dogs if we don't want our kid becoming a joke as well. And I would NEVER say babies are better than dogs and I never did say that. I simply asked her not to compare the two as they're clearly not the same.

Umm no. There is absolutely no circumstance where it is acceptable to compare a dog to a human. Never ever, no matter how much you love animals. Babies ARE intrinsically better than dogs, they're HUMANS. If your beloved dog and a stranger's child were both in danger, wouldn't you save the human first? Humans are superior to animals, always (hence why we have the capacity to own them).

Sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine and it absolutely drives me crazy.

But, OP, just block the bitch and know that she's an idiot.
---- quote fail ---- It still does not make it ok to make a joke about an abandoned dog. It is a pet peeve of mine when people don't understand that someones dog can mean more to them than other humans do. I know a couple who can't have children and they have 2 dogs. To them, their dogs are their babys and they love them unconditionally. Some people see their dog as a family member and treat them as such. ETA to fix quote fail

My dogs mean way more to me than most humans and they are treated as members of the family. I love them to death and would do just about anything to keep them happy and healthy. That doesn't mean I mistake their worth for higher than even the lowliest human's.

It wouldn't have mattered if OP's husband had posted something horrible instead of a joke picture of a dog in a Hawaiian shirt, you can't compare joking about a dog to joking about a human. It's just not the same.

missjenniebean · January 2015

I would remove her from facebook and not talk to her unless you have to, that's just me. you don't need the drama.

blastocarrier30 · January 2015

emilyzemily said:

Caity828 said:

@EmilyZemily i have furbabies too and the story totally broke my heart as well. He was just making light of it and being a little silly. you're probably right, i guess we shouldnt joke about dogs if we don't want our kid becoming a joke as well. And I would NEVER say babies are better than dogs and I never did say that. I simply asked her not to compare the two as they're clearly not the same.

Umm no. There is absolutely no circumstance where it is acceptable to compare a dog to a human. Never ever, no matter how much you love animals. Babies ARE intrinsically better than dogs, they're HUMANS. If your beloved dog and a stranger's child were both in danger, wouldn't you save the human first? Humans are superior to animals, always (hence why we have the capacity to own them).

Sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine and it absolutely drives me crazy.

But, OP, just block the bitch and know that she's an idiot.
---- quote fail ---- It still does not make it ok to make a joke about an abandoned dog. It is a pet peeve of mine when people don't understand that someones dog can mean more to them than other humans do. I know a couple who can't have children and they have 2 dogs. To them, their dogs are their babys and they love them unconditionally. Some people see their dog as a family member and treat them as such. ETA to fix quote fail

Thank you for this. I wasn't sure how to respond. My dog is my companion and has been for the last 6.5 years. My parents' dog has been the same to them for 12. That dog got them through 3 children moving out of their home, my dad losing his job, my uncle and grandfather's struggles with and deaths from cancer. I know the dog didn't necessarily understand the significance of all of those events, but I do know that my parents all of those things would have been much more difficult without her.

Just because I'm having a baby doesn't mean that I don't recognize the vital role some animals play in their owners' lives.

Mommaswizz · January 2015

my biggest beef with this discussion and the girl im posting about is that its a debate at all. can't I love and respect babies and dogs? she can only make her love of dogs known at the same time as voicing her opinion of how horrible babies are. Do they have to be lumped together like this?

Eta: 1 million mobile typos

effthisnoise · January 2015

Caity828 said:

my biggest beef with this discussion and the girl im posting about is that its a debate at all. can't I love and respect babies and dogs? she can only make her love of dogs known at the same time as voicing her opinion of how horrible babies are. Do they have to be lumped together like this? Eta: 1 million mobile typos

I think you're being over-sensitive. Replace everything she has said about babies with "cats." If she was constantly posting about how superior dogs are to cats, would you care? Or would you ignore her as "that annoying girl who hates cats"? Is this just on Facebook? Unless she's sitting down next to you and telling you, "God, I hate your baby already," ignore her and her posts. Besides, some people just don't like babies or children. If that's really true of her, you're in luck--as soon as you have your baby, she probably won't want to be around you and you won't have to deal with her anymore.

kej0004 · January 2015

Caity828 said:

my biggest beef with this discussion and the girl im posting about is that its a debate at all. can't I love and respect babies and dogs? she can only make her love of dogs known at the same time as voicing her opinion of how horrible babies are. Do they have to be lumped together like this? Eta: 1 million mobile typos

Yeah, the love of babies and dogs is not mutually exclusive at all. I think the world would be much better off if everyone just respected both of them (even if dogs are like, so stinky and slobbery and babies are...well, also stinky and slobbery.

)

Mommaswizz · January 2015

Exactly!! Thank you

erbear84 · January 2015

Eh. I don't see *that* as a particular affront to you. I think you're being a little sensitive here since you don't like her. Just unfollow her. Don't engage her. Remember that Facebook is not that serious.

queequeg09256 · January 2015

So while this is my first human baby I have a fur baby my dog. That being said I think the important thing to remember is life is way too short to hang out and deal with people you don't like. Solution block her on fb and move on. You hubby cam still be friends with the dude and you don't have to be friends with her. I would block her on fb since you feel she made some personal attacks. Or even just hide her posts. That would be what I would do.

silentdormancy · January 2015

Haters gonna hate. You have a precious life growing inside you! There will always be facebook drama which is why I personally don't have one. I'd just block her so you can't be annoyed and can instead focus on the positive influences in your life.

KonaCoffeeBean · January 2015

My dog is loyal and sweet and smart. I hope I raise a child who is worthy of a comparison with my dog.

Mama-Bear · January 2015

I didn't read any of the replies, but I would just unfriend her. My SIL and I got into it on FB (and off), when it all blew over she sent me a friend request again (twice so far) and I won't accept her request, one FB drama instance is enough for me.

willowprincess · January 2015

After looking at that exchange, I think you were both a little snarky and she didn't really say anything that bad. He probably shouldn't have posted that pic. It was insensitive. If she really bugs you just hide her on fb. You're a grown woman who is about to be a mom. Trust me, you are going to be dealing with a lot worse than this with people once baby is here.

Emilywooddesign · January 2015

I'm obsessed with my dog and I would save her life over a lot of humans any day( sarry) She's my best friend and we share a pillow and sometimes ice cream. If anyone hurt her or disrespected her I would do terrible things to them.

ooopswediditagain · January 2015

It sounds to me like maybe what she actually is - is jealous and envious... Probably of your and your husband's relationship with her man and with your situation. And also a total bitch perhaps. Is ignore it too because your husband's friendship with her man is more important. But man that shit would drive me crazy too.

GASuzuki · January 2015

Glad I'm a cat person. Lol!!! Just kidding... I think blocking her and enjoying your pregnancy is the best advice.

gabriellamason93 · January 2015

My Aunty tried for years to have a baby only to find out she was infertile; her response to my pregnancy was she was glad she couldn't have children because her dogs were better anyway, she doesn't have to change nappys and such reasons she continued with. I didn't take it offensively because I knew deep down she probably did still desperately want children, and this was her way of publicly dealing with her shit. Maybe you should cut her a break, she may be facing difficulties herself.

dancingram · January 2015

You need to unfollow her on FB, that way you are still "friends" but you don't have to see her posts. And then don't go searching for them and let yourself be provoked by her. She has a right to her opinion and her sense of humor, if it bothers you so badly, don't entertain your rage. You can't change her, you can only change yourself and your reactions. I unfollow people all the time because their constant posting annoys me, and it makes my social media experience much more pleasant to only see what I want to see.

C6091 · January 2015

Lindsay13lLou said:

emilyzemily said:

Lindsay13lLou said:

Relax! U don't have to be a "fan" of me or my comment. It's my opinion. Why should I fake liking animals and kids? To be socially acceptable? Nah not my style

What's inappropriate? Stating the harsh truth? Yea sucks huh?
QFP.

Qfp?

**** quote fail ****

Check out the newbie thread for meanings of acronyms. In this sense though, I really wish QFP meant quit fucking posting.

I don't give a fuck what u think sweetheart

*cough*troll*cough*

AlyLynn07 · January 2015

She sounds annoying regardless of the Facebook post and I totally agree that dogs are not the same as children. However, I would just try to let it go (as hard as it is) and ignore her and her comments as best you can. It takes a lot to be the bigger person, but it's usually the right way to go.

McBaby19 · January 2015

I've just lurked this whole post and had this thought: "does a person have to have an official TOU violation to be banned or could a majority just vote them out for being unbearably rude?"
I'm sure I don't have to name who I'm referring to either.. But I will if needed.
:-h

McBaby19 · January 2015

Not you @bluedaisy2001‌ ! >:D<

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