Grandparents getting tdap vaccine?

mommaa1615 · January 2015

Hello. So our Dr told us she recommends immediate family/anyone who is close to baby to get the tdap/pertussis vaccine. Of course I tell the grandparents and its gets brushed off. My MIL said not to worry they are always up to date but my dh never went to dr. Im not going to make them prove it to me so just wanted some thoughts. Am I crazy? How long does it last? I plan to ask the dr again at my next appointment. Not sure I can make any of them go get the damn thing. Ughh paranoid FTM......

racheltherose · January 2015

I wondered this about if my DH should get the Tdap

Alygohome · January 2015

I told my parents too and they brushed it off. I can't force them to get it but I made it clear we works prefer them to have it.

mommaa1615 · January 2015

Yess I tried to be nice so maybe ill bring it up again..ill even pay the copay so I have a peace of mind!! So annoying hearing the "we never did that and you're fine" line. The Doctor told us so just do it!!!!!!!

@racheltherose‌ my dh is getting his Friday..

racheltherose · January 2015

musicgirl524 said:

@racheltherose I would say it's pretty imperative that your DH get the TDaP, since he is a primary caregiver.

Good to know! Do you think he could just go to my OB to get it or would he need to go to his doctor?

MommyOfAMiracle · January 2015

I got my TDAP yesterday and told DH that he needs to get his as well. He is an "anti-vaxer" which has caused some uproar in our household, but he said that since it's for LO, he'll do it. But if he gets sick and dies because of "big brother" then I'm in trouble. (conspiracy theorists...so dramatic)

I've also asked my parents and my sibling to get the TDAP too. They can all go to CVS to get it, which makes it much easier, especially since there is one right in between my house and my parents house. I am just hoping they actually get it.

jennjilljo · January 2015

My parents brushed off the tdap vaccine too until I pulled up a map showing them the resurgence of whooping cough and the statistics of how easily it can kill infants and elderly. It sounds morbid but I had to get the importance of the shot across. I also told them that I don't want them around until after whopping cough season for the safety of the baby. I have no qualms keeping people away for health and safety purposes.

ConstanceGoodspeed · January 2015

It is to protect them first, then the baby. I would stress that. Say that you heard there were a few cases in their area and you just want to remind them to be up to date on their boosters because you don't want them getting sick. Because you don't, right? It isn't just about your baby.

jaztastic · January 2015

My mother being a nanny by profession, is adamant about it and made my dad get on as well. I didnt have to pull too many teeth.

The thing that is really starting to concern me are visitors and the flu. I dont want to seem like the overprotective FTM making everyone wear masks, wash and sanatize their hands.

racheltherose · January 2015

Oh really? Great, we'll look into it. Thanks ladies!

arobs13 · January 2015

our doctor highly recommended husbands to get the vaccine. they can just run to a walgreens/CVS or a patient first (if you have those) and it'll take just a few minutes. We also told grandparents because they will be providing a lot of help to us in the first 2-3 months until baby gets the vaccine. my parents were both up-to-date (our doctor considered you "up-to-date" if the vaccine was given in the past 5 years - and the whole TDAP, not just the tetanus booster). my husband's parents need to get it, but are planning on it because they have additional grandchildren coming in the year and would be asked to get it for the other grandchildren as well. once they get it though, they are all good for 5 years so if you have more kids it's unlikely they'll need an updated shot.

in short, i'd really recommend anyone who is going to have regular and recurring contact with your child in the first 2-3 months get it. Especially with all of our winter babies out there -- there will be tons of germs about!

erobbins09 · January 2015

I've had mine, FI got one a while ago and my mom who will be flying out here and becoming a new gma x2 in the next 3 months got hers like a month ago when I brought it up to her.

I approached it by saying sincerely and very seriously that it would give me a huge peace of mind and I would appreciate it and that was enough for my crowd. I'm sorry for the resistance you are getting... Maybe try broaching the subject again and see if you can figure out why they won't? Maybe look up where they can get it locally so you've done the legwork?

racheltherose · January 2015

Just called our pharmacy, it's in stock and DH is getting it right after work

arobs13 · January 2015

oooh additionally -- my in-laws were a little weary at first. do your parents/inlaws have friends who were recent grandparents? i know my inlaws talked to some of their friends and they were like "oh yeah! it was a must! we wanted to help with the baby!" and that really made my inlaws ready to go get it. Sometimes they just need to hear the recommendation from a friend/someone in their generation. If i had a nickel for every time I heard, "But we didn't have to do that and you kids turned out just fine" I could quit my job and be a stay at home mom. it's hard to explain to them that times are different and there is different science out there now (oh and that whooping cough was almost eliminated but had a resurgence 3 years ago). it's just different than when we were kids.

misshart00 · January 2015

I think I got mine in the hospital right after DD was born. Husbands may be able to ask for it then too, but I'm not sure. But most pharmacies will do it.

jennjilljo · January 2015

unconventionalatbest said:
I am always the crazy mom making people wash their hands, even on my third. No need to feel bad about that, @jaztastic‌ .

What freaks me out even more than visitors is taking my healthy perfect newborn into the doctor for a check up those first few days. I can have a say over who I let in my house. I don't have a say over which kid coughed and sneezed all over the exam room before my healthy baby got in there. We haven't been to the doctor for our kids in 2+ years and I am having to come to terms with going for the first appointment with our new baby.

Wait, so you don't even do regular check ups? Like height, weight and milestones?

mommaa1615 · January 2015

My mil is such a b...she said "we are up to date" but I know and my husband knows they aren't. They live down the road from us so will be here a lot. Ill make my husband talk to them about it and if not ill go momma bear on them..not worth it to me. Thanks for input ladies!

misshart00 · January 2015

musicgirl524 said:

misshart00 said:

I think I got mine in the hospital right after DD was born. Husbands may be able to ask for it then too, but I'm not sure. But most pharmacies will do it.

Again I could be wrong, but I think it takes a few days (or maybe even a couple of weeks) for the full effectiveness to kick in. So I wouldn't wait until when the baby is actually born. Also, they actually recommend that the mother get the shot in the third trimester now, because it passes on some levels of immunity to the baby.

I may have gotten it at a doctors appointment right before the hospital. I honestly don't remember. But yeah, if it does take a few days, I would stop by the pharmacy.

What's funny is I can tell you the exact day H got it.

nbad311 · January 2015

I cordially asked my MIL to get it (since she lives local and will probably be the most-visited grandparent) and MAGICALLY, she agreed without a fight!
My mom already has it since she works in childcare, and DH is getting his at a physical next week!

natsgirl12 · January 2015

My OB office says that anyone who is going to help take care of the baby should have both the flu and tDap vaccines. They recommend a new tDap for each pregnancy but DH is good because it lasts 10 years.

junebugjam · January 2015

My husband and I both got it, along with his parents. I made it clear to my parents and siblings that I expect them to get it also, and the flu shot. My brother is resisting the flu shot because he says he's never gotten one before and never got the flu, but I told him he won't be allowed around the baby without it. Better safe than sorry - it's just a shot and I am not into the whole conspiracy theory thing. Get over yourself.

agm04 · January 2015

I very kindly asked my parents and in laws to get it. My dad and in laws teased me a bit (Mom, bless her, went without any protest), and my in laws have yet to do it (but I'm keeping DH on them about it - they WILL get the shots or they won't be around the baby). Fine with me...it won't be the last time I endure a little criticism for the well being of my kid.

PeanettyGoodness · January 2015

Of course I got mine once I hit the third trimester and my husband will be getting his shortly. He also got the flu shot recently, as well. I've asked my parents to get it and my MIL. My MIL kind of blew me off about it, but I will go momma bear if I have to. She lives with us and is in and out of the hospital frequently, so she really needs to get it for her sake and the baby's sake. She got the flu shot, so I don't know what the big deal about getting the tdap shot is.

krispy83 · January 2015

I asked my parents to get it when I was pregnant with DS and they both did. My brother and SIL did as well, without me having to ask. FIL and MIL aren't local, but I know that they keep up to date on them as well.

We live in an area where there have been several outbreaks, so to me it was a no-brainer.

Dani_Love · January 2015

2 years ago when I had DD they gave my husband one for free before we left, not sure if that is still the case but it doesn't hurt to ask. I'll be getting one. My dad cannot get one for health reasons

flyster · January 2015

I asked my in laws and they got it already. I think my parents got it when my nephew was born...my mom might not have but if not its because of legit medical issues. Thats when dh and I got ours too at my sisters request.

Angeldcf · January 2015

I received mine post-delivery w/DS. I received Tdap today (34wk appt) given that pertussis has come back.

DH, my folks & MIL are all updated on their flu shots & Tdap (got them at CVS). They were happy to oblige as it was to protect baby, and they were all overdue for tetanus booster.

amt0312 · January 2015

If I had a summer baby, I would be less inclined to worry about the Tdap vaccination; however, since DS will be a winter baby, I insist on the Tdap and flu for anyone coming into extended contact with the baby.

Smyers2girls · January 2015

I'm kind of torn on this one. I'm pro vac and would like anyone coming to visit to have the flu and Dtap vaccine. My kids are vaccinated, and so is DH and I. My mother is, but my in laws don't really believe in getting shots. Also, my aunt has said she will never get a flu shot and neither will her children. I know they are all going to come to my house to visit once the baby is here. But they won't be around him for any extended time period. So, what would you ladies who feel the same as I do? Do I flat out tell them they can't be around him at all? Or should I try not to worry about it if they are not sick and just want to come see him for a couple hours?

flyster · January 2015

Smyers2girls said:
I'm kind of torn on this one. I'm pro vac and would like anyone coming to visit to have the flu and Dtap vaccine. My kids are vaccinated, and so is DH and I. My mother is, but my in laws don't really believe in getting shots. Also, my aunt has said she will never get a flu shot and neither will her children. I know they are all going to come to my house to visit once the baby is here. But they won't be around him for any extended time period. So, what would you ladies who feel the same as I do? Do I flat out tell them they can't be around him at all? Or should I try not to worry about it if they are not sick and just want to come see him for a couple hours?

Im very pro vacation but the flu shot in particular seems like a tough one this year because it's effectiveness is pretty low. For tap would depend on where you are I think. There are some parts of the country having much higher rates of outbreaks than others so if I were in a high outbreak area I'd be more concerned.

I'm thinking also about the bris we will have...my dad wanted me to see if we can have it on a weekend else more people could come even if that's not the day it "should" be, but I'm kindof hoping for a weekday to limit the numbers lol. That way my cousins won't come with their kids...who are probably vaccinated but I don't really know.

Smyers2girls · January 2015

flyster said:

Smyers2girls said:
I'm kind of torn on this one. I'm pro vac and would like anyone coming to visit to have the flu and Dtap vaccine. My kids are vaccinated, and so is DH and I. My mother is, but my in laws don't really believe in getting shots. Also, my aunt has said she will never get a flu shot and neither will her children. I know they are all going to come to my house to visit once the baby is here. But they won't be around him for any extended time period. So, what would you ladies who feel the same as I do? Do I flat out tell them they can't be around him at all? Or should I try not to worry about it if they are not sick and just want to come see him for a couple hours?
Im very pro vacation but the flu shot in particular seems like a tough one this year because it's effectiveness is pretty low. For tap would depend on where you are I think. There are some parts of the country having much higher rates of outbreaks than others so if I were in a high outbreak area I'd be more concerned.

I'm thinking also about the bris we will have...my dad wanted me to see if we can have it on a weekend else more people could come even if that's not the day it "should" be, but I'm kindof hoping for a weekday to limit the numbers lol. That way my cousins won't come with their kids...who are probably vaccinated but I don't really know.

I know the flu vaccine this year isn't the best at protecting from the current strand going around. I think I'll try not to worry about it as much. I know if any family member was clearly sick they wouldn't risk coming in contact with him. And I've already decided no kids are coming to my house when we come home. The hospital won't even let my girls be there to meet thier brother, so if my healthy vaccinated kids can't be at the hospital, I don't need anyone else's kids over here. Luckily, my family is pretty small. I think the only people coming over when we get home would be my mom, grandma, aunt, and M&FIL. And they will only stay for maybe an hour.

hwood10 · January 2015

My husband and I are up to date, my mom said she would make sure to get vaccinated before baby arrives, but that's about all I know. I talked to my sister and she basically called me a psycho for forcing everyone (she carried around a HUGE bottle of hand sanitizer when her son was born and made EVERYONE use it) and I know my in-laws will straight out tell me no because they think all vaccines are made to kill you. I can't force people to get vaccinated but I can make sure they all wash their hands or something before touching the baby...

natsgirl12 · January 2015

amt0312 said:
If I had a summer baby, I would be less inclined to worry about the Tdap vaccination; however, since DS will be a winter baby, I insist on the Tdap and flu for anyone coming into extended contact with the baby.

Actually, more cases of pertussis are diagnosed in the summer and fall.

mishka29 · January 2015

No shots for me or my family. Maybe this is a Canadian thing...there was never any talk about the tdap shot or getting it updated. Any Canadians have a different experience?

Tirtza9 · January 2015

@flyster I'm glad that I'm not the only one worried about all of the people who my babe will be exposed to at the bris! I'm kind of stressing about asking my mom and MIL about their shots....but I know I'll have to do it so I might as well get it over with asap.

usmcwife89 · January 2015

unconventionalatbest said:

racheltherose said:

musicgirl524 said:

@racheltherose I would say it's pretty imperative that your DH get the TDaP, since he is a primary caregiver.

Good to know! Do you think he could just go to my OB to get it or would he need to go to his doctor?

Im pretty sure you can just drop into a pharmacy to get one.

When DH went to go get one, CVS told us they needed an RX from the doctor for it. So he just got it from his doctor.

chicagojackie · January 2015

jennjilljo said:
My parents brushed off the tdap vaccine too until I pulled up a map showing them the resurgence of whooping cough and the statistics of how easily it can kill infants and elderly. It sounds morbid but I had to get the importance of the shot across. I also told them that I don't want them around until after whopping cough season for the safety of the baby. I have no qualms keeping people away for health and safety purposes.

This. Pertussis is horrible. Do it

Dannylion24 · January 2015

musicgirl524 said:

misshart00 said:

I think I got mine in the hospital right after DD was born. Husbands may be able to ask for it then too, but I'm not sure. But most pharmacies will do it.

Again I could be wrong, but I think it takes a few days (or maybe even a couple of weeks) for the full effectiveness to kick in. So I wouldn't wait until when the baby is actually born. Also, they actually recommend that the mother get the shot in the third trimester now, because it passes on some levels of immunity to the baby.

My OB told me I didn't need to get the tDap again bc I received it in the hospital after DD3 was born in Oct '13, however I know the new recommendations is for moms to receive it while pregnant to pass on the immunity to baby in utero like you mentioned. So I went ahead and visited CVS and got the vaccine again last week. Better safe than sorry and insurance recommended and covered it.

Beth.1212 · January 2015

You're not crazy, and I don't think this makes you a paranoid FTM at all. Pertussis (aka whooping cough) is potentially fatal for an infant and it's on the rise. I would absolutely insist that DH get the Tdap shot. It would be my hill to die on. My DH doesn't respond well to demands, so I wouldn't actually say "I insist that you get this," but I'd continue to bring it up and bring more and more evidence to the table till he agreed. If persuasion wasn't working, I'd resort to pretty much begging. This is one of the few times I'd pull out the "It would mean a lot to me, and can't you please, please just do this one thing for your pregnant wife who's going through all of this (i.e. pregnancy, labor, etc) for our family?" argument if necessary.

With DS, we asked that everyone who came to visit be up to date on their vaccines, including the vaccine for pertussis. I didn't require proof - I could trust our family and friends to tell the truth. If someone wasn't up to date on their vaccines and wasn't willing to get the missing ones, we would have asked them to wait until DS was older to meet him. Luckily, it never came to that. We also asked everyone to wash their hands as soon as they entered our home. People were very understanding and didn't give us a hard time. We tried to phrase things gently, ex. "Maybe we're being overly cautious, but could you," "We'd really appreciate it if you'd," "Would you mind XYZ? It would give us peace of mind," etc.

For those struggling to convince anti-vax people to get Tdap, you might find this site useful. On it, you can view real stories about people who were directly harmed - sometimes killed - by diseases that would have been prevented by the use of vaccines. I find the story of Lynne Baker, whose 18 day old infant died from whooping cough, to be among the most
heartbreaking I've ever heard. https://www.immunize.org/reports/ Individual reports aren't actually the best evidence to make decisions based on, but often times people find people's stories more compelling than stats.

schnitz9 · January 2015

My DH got his last year and they last 10 years. My mom has hers because she is a volunteer at the hospital in the NICU and peds floor. My dad won't be around the baby that much since he travels all the time. My sister is going to get it done and so is her boyfriend. My ILs are another story though. Our relationship with them is strained right now and when I mentioned it my MIL freaked out. She has major anxiety and just had minor back surgery which she makes out to be a major operation. It was a same day surgery that took an hour. But by listening to her you would think they cut her from neck to ass. She was all "I'm ill I can't get a shot.". My FIL got upset and told me to stop upsetting her. So I simply said "fine you guys don't have to get it done. But just so you know you are not allowed to hold you grandson or come close to him until you do. You are more than welcome to love him from afar." My DH completely supported him because he is fed up with their drama right now anyway. I also told them they are not allowed in his room either. I won't allow their stubborn selfishness put our son at risk.

EDWHIP · January 2015

Obviously you cannot force anyone to do anything, but I would tell the grandparents it's a rule if they are going to be spending any extended time around the baby. Luckily all of my in-laws and parents and family members were either already vaccinated or got the shot when asked. Why would they want to put a baby at risk?

Want a personalized experience?

Grandparents getting tdap vaccine?

Re: Grandparents getting tdap vaccine?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards