Why can't people be a bit nicer on this board?

kamarks08 · January 2015

mamak211 said:
With the timing of the "likes" .....point made.

Your whole original post rubs me the wrong way.

kdm211 · January 2015

@kamarks08‌ I am so sorry you feel that way -glad you said something! I see you've been here since 2011, and all I've seen from my "lurking" (like a good, rule-following newbie) is that you spend a whole lot of time harassing the newbies or those who post incorrectly. I'm sorry it rubs you wrong for someone else to stand up to you, but I find it rather silly and unnecessary.

As for the comment that it seems that "veterans" should be tending to their other children, I apologize. I did not intend to insinuate that any was neglectful. I do not believe that to be the case. However, I do think that having too much time on your hands may still stand true.

I'm aware this is full of attitude and this post (and the last) are not reflective of who I am/my personality at all...but WHY are so many being so divisive between "veteran" and "newbie"? Last I checked, we were all in this together.

kamarks08 · January 2015

mamak211 said:
@kamarks08‌ I am so sorry you feel that way -glad you said something! I see you've been here since 2011, and all I've seen from my "lurking" (like a good, rule-following newbie) is that you spend a whole lot of time harassing the newbies or those who post incorrectly. I'm sorry it rubs you wrong for someone else to stand up to you, but I find it rather silly and unnecessary.

As for the comment that it seems that "veterans" should be tending to their other children, I apologize. I did not intend to insinuate that any was neglectful. I do not believe that to be the case. However, I do think that having too much time on your hands may still stand true.

I'm aware this is full of attitude and this post (and the last) are not reflective of who I am/my personality at all...but WHY are so many being so divisive between "veteran" and "newbie"? Last I checked, we were all in this together.

Oh, goodness.

msmolecule · January 2015

mamak211 said:

@kamarks08‌ I am so sorry you feel that way -glad you said something! I see you've been here since 2011, and all I've seen from my "lurking" (like a good, rule-following newbie) is that you spend a whole lot of time harassing the newbies or those who post incorrectly. I'm sorry it rubs you wrong for someone else to stand up to you, but I find it rather silly and unnecessary. As for the comment that it seems that "veterans" should be tending to their other children, I apologize. I did not intend to insinuate that any was neglectful. I do not believe that to be the case. However, I do think that having too much time on your hands may still stand true. I'm aware this is full of attitude and this post (and the last) are not reflective of who I am/my personality at all...but WHY are so many being so divisive between "veteran" and "newbie"? Last I checked, we were all in this together.

You know what posts like this and your others in this thread make me think of?

It's like walking into someone else's house, putting your dirty feet up on the furniture and then criticizing their housekeeping. It's just plain rude.

kdm211 · January 2015

Oh look....

msmolecule · January 2015

mamak211 said:

Oh look....

Cool. Don't get butthurt when others return the favor

manda1214 · January 2015

When any of my IRL pregnant friends say things like this or ask silly questions their doctor or what to expect book should have explained I look at them like this:
photo 217E5AD0-6038-496E-9B40-971373DA414D.gif

photo 217E5AD0-6038-496E-9B40-971373DA414D.gif

And Internet strangers receive the same - especially because you are, at that moment, on the Internet which means searching for the answer (either in Google or searching the bump boards) is literally a click away.

Edit: wrong photo although my dogs give a good side eye as well

samantha716 · January 2015

I can't believe this thread is still alive. Do I get a special sticker or something?

BethKate2 · January 2015

mamak211 said:
..but WHY are so many being so divisive between "veteran" and "newbie"? Last I checked, we were all in this together

@mamak211 Because of posters like you who decide it's appropriate to throw around insults when no one in this thread was insulting anyone before you got here. That makes me wary of posters who I don't recognize because I have no idea what kind of crazy shit to expect from them.

nbalkin · January 2015

mamak211 said:

As for the comment that it seems that "veterans" should be tending to their other children, I apologize. I did not intend to insinuate that any was neglectful. I do not believe that to be the case. However, I do think that having too much time on your hands may still stand true.

Ok well i definitely took offense to your insinuation that I am not being observant of my child if I am on the bumb. Also I work a demanding full time job, take care of a home, a husband, and a child. I don't have tons of time on my hands, but I do have time to be honest to people who may be incorrect in their thoughts and beliefs. I think you are being a little presumptuous that all of us sit at home and do nothing all day but spend our days on here criticizing people.

thehurricaine · January 2015

Each site has its own culture and maybe this isn't the one for you? The bump generally isn't the friendliest of places. I'm still unsure if this is the right place for me sometimes. The snark can be entertaining, but daily "you're mean. No you're mean" threads are exhausting and so not my thing. If this isn't the right place for me, that's ok, Sonetimes there just isn't a fit. If I decide that's the case, I'll find somewhere else to go.

The women here may not always be nice, but they are kind when it's called for. Check out some of the threads on loss if you need proof. A couple of people have even been very politely directing posters towards the appropriate symptoms thread and the pinned thread about showing. If you're reading only the negative threads maybe that says more about what you're clicking on not about the board (hint: threads that say "showing?" Or "why you guys so mean?" Or "about my specific symptom" Will definitely go negative.) Just don't ignore them and the site will feel friendlier.

TessyMessy · January 2015

Dance party?

samantha716 · January 2015

Thanks @hdenglish‌. I noticed some ladies ganging up on someone earlier today so I posed the question. Lol mistake! I actually thought this was a place for women to get support etc but a lot has changed since my first pregnancy in 2004 and I stand corrected. I admit this thread has been pretty amusing, however.

MrsSnyder124 · January 2015

msmolecule said:

mamak211 said:
I'm just impressed with how much free time these veterans have with little ones running around, but maybe that's just me.

....so with that said, is that the kinda sass that will earn me some "street cred" here?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that, no...Insinuating that the long-time posters on these boards are neglectful parents is probably not the way to earn anyone's respect here. That's a personal attack, not a redirection to a more appropriate thread. Big difference. And it is the recognition of that difference that makes a newbie like me more inclined to relate to the snarky vets, than newbies like yourself.

This is how you earn "street cred". Preach girl.

ohdrama09 · January 2015

I can only hope this place gets as nutty as my July '11 board. Ah, the good old days.

Get your panties out of a bunch or move on. Easy as that.

MrsSnyder124 · January 2015

I prefer "put your big girl panties on".

aliska · January 2015

ohdrama09 said:
I can only hope this place gets as nutty as my July '11 board. Ah, the good old days.

Get your panties out of a bunch or move on. Easy as that.

Ah, another survivor of the July 11 board!

wildermom · January 2015

Yo. It's the first tri. Still tons of time to find a baby forum more suited to your liking.

cowboys2009 · January 2015

manda1214 said:
When any of my IRL pregnant friends say things like this or ask silly questions their doctor or what to expect book should have explained I look at them like this:

I would never side eye any of my IRL pregnant friends, especially if it was a first pregnancy. Maybe she felt silly asking the doctor or forgot to ask. If she asked more than once I'd side eye. I wouldn't want to be treated like a moron, therefore I wouldn't treat someone else that way.

I get that on TB though people ask multiple and/or what others deem to be "annoying" or searchable questions. I don't have the time or energy to be snarky 90% of the time but it is nice that people do kindly try to point them in the right direction.

masher22 · January 2015

I agree some people do make snarky remarks. Its not a big deal to see something posted a few times. Everyone should show love not try to regulate.

kcebeling · January 2015

mamak211 said:

@BethKate2‌ You bring up a good point for us newbies to hear. What sort of positive efforts show veteran bumpies that newbies want to be a part of the board? Thanks for your reply!
Yeah, where can we get hazed in order to belong here?? I'm just SO anxious to get complete internet strangers to accept me!! Not. ETA: quote error

I was going to reply to your lovely message, but it was nice that I didn't have to. And I was hazed as a pledge and first trimester is definitely worse.

kdm211 · January 2015

dilutedsanity0 · January 2015

This is entertaining as shit right now.. And I haven't shit in a couple days.. So that's pretty fucking entertaining.

jdpelkey · January 2015

I do agree with you to an extent. There are a lot of great people on here with some great advice but there are also a select few who are very snarky and maybe don't realize you don't have a lot of time to be scrolling through all of the threads. Also, I see a lot of responses about people being honest and not sugar coating their responses yet when they tell the truth about what has happened to them in the past(whether it be a good or bad outcome) they get there heads chewed off. We are all a little hormonal right now but it would be nice if we could all just be nice.

kamarks08 · January 2015

jdpelkey said:
I do agree with you to an extent. There are a lot of great people on here with some great advice but there are also a select few who are very snarky and maybe don't realize you don't have a lot of time to be scrolling through all of the threads. Also, I see a lot of responses about people being honest and not sugar coating their responses yet when they tell the truth about what has happened to them in the past(whether it be a good or bad outcome) they get there heads chewed off. We are all a little hormonal right now but it would be nice if we could all just be nice.

Oh FFS can we just stop with this already and let the damn thread die already? @ABvintage‌ where are your fire gifs?!?!?

Radiantly · January 2015

This board has been awesome. I actually was expecting snark and meanies based on lurking on TTGP before finding my niche, my ladies on the more mature TTC>35, and TroubLe TTC (a little snark but fun. And super supportive). But I'm happy with Aug 15 it is so much bigger with so many new faces! I was on the others above for almost a year I think so got to see a lot of "graduations" and sadly also a lot of losses. It was wonderful to witness the support. I agree with previous posters (PPs) that if people post a question that was not well thought out from some simple research it can get ugly especially if the new poster reacts in a defensive or accusatory way. Then it seems to go all to hell. But just be smart and offer support to others and we will have a good time.