baby dad

munchkin8590 · January 2015

I'm curious to know how this turns out.

What if it's not the bf's OR the ex's baby and there's a surprise 3rd guy in the mix. Jerry Springer, anyone?

ssegerton · January 2015

It's really sad that people can be so judgemental and unsupportive. Shame on you all. I certainly won't be using this forum in the future. Good luck with your adventure of becoming a mum and hope you find out paternity sooner rather than later.

StephanieLBerg · January 2015

ssegerton said:
It's really sad that people can be so judgemental and unsupportive. Shame on you all. I certainly won't be using this forum in the future. Good luck with your adventure of becoming a mum and hope you find out paternity sooner rather than later.

munchkin8590 · January 2015

@ssegerton‌ we're all being "judgmental and unsupportive" because 1) only a moron would get themselves in a situation like this and just expect everything to be OK and 2) we've already been through plenty of stupid threads like this and its kind of ridiculous.

By the way, who the hell are you?

Alygohome · January 2015

chickenhawke said:

ChickenOnSunday said:
Thanks all. This was a great read while I ate my Lucky Charms.
We are twins right now. I question if I will be a good mother because I pick out the marshmallows for myself?

Uh ya. Can't feed your kid sugar so you must take one for the team and eat alllll the marshmallows until they are at least in Highschool.

Maple403 · January 2015

chicagojackie said:

@dorothygale01‌ it was just a general statement and I wanted to set up that aids meme. I didn't say the whole thing isn't gross. You my fave whore anyway, K.

But who is the bottom bitch here? I'll put my name in for consideration.

Maple403 · January 2015

Also, this happens in Science all the time. True story. Sometimes two males try to fertilize the same females. It's a good strategy for the female because she gets the best sperm for her offspring. I applaud the OP for forming a better darwinian strategy than any of the other ladies on here. Her spawn will probably outcompete my spawn at everything.

Maple403 · January 2015

This picture refused to be added to my post above. But here it is for reals. Science.

flyster · January 2015

I love waking up to 4 pages of drama in the morning.

DBJackson25 · January 2015

Thank you late night ladies for giving me some entertainment while DH sleeps and I drink my coffee. Gosh I love the smell of drama in the morning!

Nvywife · January 2015

Maple403 said:
Also, this happens in Science all the time. True story. Sometimes two males try to fertilize the same females. It's a good strategy for the female because she gets the best sperm for her offspring. I applaud the OP for forming a better darwinian strategy than any of the other ladies on here. Her spawn will probably outcompete my spawn at everything.

I just picked one man with good genes and a high IQ. I thought my strategy was good!

lelly0086 · January 2015

Thanks for the good read this morning!

I just can't get over OPs logic.... towel wiping and pulling out as birth control? Then in her heart she knows current bf is daddy.... I just have no words. Anyone else in the mood to watch maury now? To bad it's Sunday

KDRichards08 · January 2015

So...let him do the test and inform the other father

toadandbug12 · January 2015

I don't really understand the kind of support or advice OP was looking for here. I'm not going to tell you it's okay to cheat on your SO, have unprotected sex, and now not know for sure who the father is. OP: The best thing you can do is to wait for the paternity test and hope for the best. Hope everything works out for you, but if it doesn't, at least let this be a lesson for safe sex and fidelity.

Mommalawyer · January 2015

4 pages until we got the white knight? Slipping F15, slipping.

acpruchnik · January 2015

ssegerton said:

It's really sad that people can be so judgemental and unsupportive. Shame on you all. I certainly won't be using this forum in the future. Good luck with your adventure of becoming a mum and hope you find out paternity sooner rather than later.

Judgemental and unsupportive? So we're supposed to pet her hair and tell her it's OK that she chose to ignore her basic anatomy and to tell her it's OK that, in that process, she decided it was OK to fuck around on her partner? Are you saying it's OK to do this to the men in our lives?

If you want to encourage women living happily as a stereotype then you and her can ride your unicorns through the park and hold each others vagina rags but leave us out of it.

You would side-eye someone in real life if one of your girlfriends had said the things about her that she volunteered herself so maybe you should step down from YOUR unicorn for a few minutes and rethink your approach, mkay? Give that poor bastard a break! You're riding him to death!

Also, have you read ANY of her responses? She asks our opinion on the matter of "who's my baby daddy" and then tells us that she's positive the poor sap she stepped out on is the father. How does that make ANY sense? If she's gonna humbly brag about all the D she got in May, then we're going to explain to her where she went wrong with it. If she's old enough to procreate and/or go the alternative BC route (all you women who educate yourselves and successfully go this route are fucking rock stars btw!) then she's old enough and should be mature enough to educate herself on her.own.fucking.body.

I'm gonna throw this out here so you and the OP both can be aware of safe sex practices. Would you be so kind as to ensure her receipt of the message since you're such a great bestie? Thanks!

Applying the condom. Yes, it's THAT easy.:

This way, you can maintain a happy balance of self-respect AND still get down on some righteous D without throwing your business out to strangers:

End result: A HAPPY, EMPTY UTERUS!:

Any questions?

chicagojackie · January 2015

@acpruchnik‌
I love you so much! Call before you come over, I need to shave my cha-cha. =D>

chicagojackie · January 2015

krendel1990 said:
@acpruchnik‌ that was epic.

So fucking epic. I read it again and enjoyed it just as much.

munchkin8590 · January 2015

@acpruchnik‌ I think I just fell in love with you! That was awesome!

Sahara6971 · January 2015

Is this real life?

*backs out of post slowly*

MrsTucker2011 · January 2015

How about getting a 3d ultrasound, then comparing the baby daddies' pictures?

acpruchnik · January 2015

Aw guise ;;)

ETA epic smiley fails

jennjilljo · January 2015

krendel1990 said:
Wasn't there a thread a while back where a girl was asking if the baby looked black in the ultrasound photo? Was that here, or was I just lurking somewhere?

I remember that one @krendel‌1990. Her bf said the baby had black facial features or something like that and looked like it had a black skin tone in the u/s.

crystalw88 · January 2015

This post was fucking fantastic!

usmcwife89 · January 2015

OP can we get an update on who the baby daddy is? I wanna know who's sperm was faster

)

SNail312` · January 2015

Alygohome said:

jenniferanita said:
I've been in contact with my ex and he's confident he's not the dad and he's said he's willing to do a paternity test to prove its not his
Please please do it on national tv

And make sure to thank us for our brilliant advice!!

HayleyBug55 · January 2015

So...was this a legit "I want advice" question" or an "I want to vent/get attention and I'm going to cover it up by making it seem like I want advice" question? Because I'm kinda leaning torwards the second. I can understand how you felt attacked but what did you expect? This is a question you should have saved for your OB. Or were you too embarrassed to ask them and decided to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet? You knew the answer to your "question", which you proved in one of your comments, so why ask at all?

acpruchnik · January 2015

jenniferanita said:

Well thanks for all the criticism and everyone can stop replying now and those that were passed negative can fuck off I know now not to post on these sites again for ny reason.

Thanks for being the first member to comment on my wall. You really made my day :x

Mommalawyer · January 2015

@acpruchnik‌ - Wow. She's classy. And original.

acpruchnik · January 2015

Only the classiest of ladies can cheat with such sophistication and grace.. Oh wait, she didn't. My bad

ImAmandaURNot · January 2015

I sometimes like to call my husband my baby daddy just for shits and giggles. OP thanks for humoring me.

flyster · January 2015

acpruchnik said:

jenniferanita said:

Well thanks for all the criticism and everyone can stop replying now and those that were passed negative can fuck off I know now not to post on these sites again for ny reason.

Thanks for being the first member to comment on my wall. You really made my day :x

We have a wall?

acpruchnik · January 2015

flyster said:

acpruchnik said:

jenniferanita said:

Well thanks for all the criticism and everyone can stop replying now and those that were passed negative can fuck off I know now not to post on these sites again for ny reason.

Thanks for being the first member to comment on my wall. You really made my day :x

We have a wall?

Yeah, people can go to your profile and leave public comments on it. I think you can post things on it otherwise, too.

acpruchnik · January 2015

maasybaby said:

@acpruchnik you must feel so special, you're the chosen one!!!

It's a great feeling to know all of my hard work and best TVMD expert advice hasn't been in vain

WhiteSun · January 2015

lurking from July (because I like to read birth stories) and omg this was amazing. I'm surprised no one offered her any advice though! Like for real advice that she can use. For instance:

1. Make sure her bf pinky swears that he isn't currently praying that he is NOT the father. As his prayer will cancel out her prayer especially if he is higher on God's list, or in case God is really a man and sexist.

2. Pfft, paternity tests costs money! She might not know that they are more expensive than condoms. A sure fire way to tell who your baby daddy is: wait til baby is born, have potential baby daddies stand on opposite sides of the room and call baby. Whoever baby crawls to is the baby daddy. If baby doesn't crawl to anyone you need to fess up to those other xbf's that you haven't mentioned yet.

3. Cover your ears and hum really loudly whenever bf brings up the subject. Eventually he will get tired and go away. THEN, throw a quarter across the room! This will for sure distract him and eventually he may even forget what he was talking about.

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