This is why they say don't share names

MPKbaby237 · January 2015

We're going with the name Harrison Parker (middle name is a family name). We've really only shared the name with our parents and a few close friends who wouldn't dare offer a negative opinion to upset me. However, my mom shared the news with my older brother who then laughed and started calling him Harry. I HATE that nickname. I understand kids at school will call him that. He can decide if he chooses to respond as he gets older, but I draw the line at family and us knowingly starting that trend. For a nickname, my husband and I prefer Harris. I am still so pissed at my brother. Otherwise, call him by his his given name.
My brother is truly pushing my buttons, and now he's trying to convince me to change his name on account that he will call his nephew by the "proper nickname" Harry. Ladies, is it me? Should I change the name if I'm getting this upset? Or is he just being a jerk that I should ignore?
I wish I wouldn't have shared until birth like so many of you warned.

Blergbot · January 2015

You can't always control nicknames. I would either be at peace with the whole Harry issue or change the name, because odds are good that someone is going to call him that. Parker is nice, maybe switch them?

MPKbaby237 · January 2015

Blergbot said:
You can't always control nicknames. I would either be at peace with the whole Harry issue or change the name, because odds are good that someone is going to call him that. Parker is nice, maybe switch them?

Parker is already my neice's nickname.

janexo221 · January 2015

Its not you. It's total crap someone is giving you shit. It's not easy to come up with a name. I grew up with a harrison, We never called or even thought of harry. I love the name harrison parker. Stick to it and screw everyone else!

schwabab · January 2015

Although Harrison is a great name, I think it's unrealistic to think "Harry" won't always be an issue.

lovemaddux · January 2015

Sorry you're having a hard time with it. But as you said he may be called Harry at school too and you wont have control of that. Don't let your brother ruin the name you've chosen.
Harrison Parker is very cute and reminds me of Drop Dead Diva!

SuperFudge00 · January 2015

Idk, people never called me what I didn't want to be called. I wouldn't change it. But he may like Harry later on, his choice.

Btw, I have a friend who named her kid James. She interchangeably calls him Jim & Jimbo as well. I like to call him James. But if he didn't like it, I would have to call him Jim at least.

Pix3lle · January 2015

One of the names i had for a girl (evangelene) i changed to a different variant because a friend started saying she'd call her 'angie' or 'ange' and i realllyyy don't like that name/nickname for some reason.
It sucks but unfortunately people will just end up calling them whatever comes to mind first

what nickname would you give him? If it's cuter the rest of the family might take to it! Screw your brother!

kmayababy · January 2015

My son is a Jr. And now that he is 13 he sets the rules on what his "friends" call him. If your brother doesn't like Harrison he can have a child of his own and name it whatever he likes.. Otherwise I would have a talk with him about respect, respect for you and your feelings, if he doesn't like it.. He can keep his negativity to himself!

jowynen · January 2015

If you love the name stick to it and screw everyone else's opinion.
In time, your LO may like and choose the nickname Harry but you can still call him the name you've picked out.

MPKbaby237 · January 2015

Pix3lle said:
One of the names i had for a girl (evangelene) i changed to a different variant because a friend started saying she'd call her 'angie' or 'ange' and i realllyyy don't like that name/nickname for some reason.
It sucks but unfortunately people will just end up calling them whatever comes to mind first what nickname would you give him? If it's cuter the rest of the family might take to it! Screw your brother!

Harris as a nickname.

Pix3lle · January 2015

@MPKbaby237 That's definitely much cuter than Harry! Hopefully the rest of the family takes to it.

mombod · January 2015

Sounds like your brother is being a brother. Keep the name.

SunnyBeachBum · January 2015

Don't change it. Just start calling him whatever you two want.. It will catch on. My parents started calling me Colee (Nicole) from the time I was born. It stuck with the entire family, still to this day.

Once your son is older, he can fend for himself. People always ask if I go by Nikki, and I just tell them absolutely NOT!

thefitzfam · January 2015

I'm in the same boat. I've said over and over that I don't want my sons to be referred to by their initial, JT and DJ, but my in-laws insist on calling them that and writing it on every card. It's really frustrating, I'm sorry! Is he doing it just to annoy you, in a brother way? Does he know it bothers you?

missab · January 2015

Screw your asshole brother. Name your kid Harrison. If you have to "rethink" something, make it having a relationship with your jerk brother! (Half kidding, but seriously, don't let him have any impact on your naming decision.)

Not sure why this makes me so ragey, but I want to kick him in his man goodies. If family can't find a way to be supportive, the very least they can do is keep their mouths shut.

I'd find a really annoying nickname - like "Asshat" - to start calling him and see how he enjoys an unwelcome nickname.

Edit to say I did realize that I essentially told you to screw your brother, which is gross, but also a funny mistake on my part so I'm leaving it.

AmCheri · January 2015

If you love your name, don't change it. We went through horrible drama with our daughter's name, which my husband accidentally let slip before she was born. I can't even tell you all of the sordid details. It's enough to say my MIL corned me at my baby shower and told me she thought our name was a "joke." It caused so much drama that a huge cloud hung over the last couple months of my pregnancy. Screw them! Tell him to stuff it and do t have further contact if he can't be nice. This is your moment, and it's absolutley none of his business.

kitc101 · January 2015

Honestly, if you introduce your child as Harrison (or Harris) to people, and he does as well when he's older, it shouldn't be much of an issue. My husband has a name that can be shortened to a nickname, and he won't respond to the nickname. People are pretty good about asking him if they can call him by the shortened name and he says no, and I've never witnessed anyone thinking twice about it. Don't let people ruin your name!

justyouraveragemama · January 2015

My older brothers name is Matthew and he refuses to let family call him Matt, only his friends can call him Matt because he feels nicknames should be used by friends and not family. Your son could go that way too and not mind being called Harry by friends but would rather have family call him Harrison. You never know what his preference will be. But in the meantime I say your brother is just doing it to piss you off. Just ignore him and stick to using the name you love

canadianttc1st · January 2015

We named our son garrett and I absolutely hate the nickname Gary or gar. We have never called him either and neither have our friends or family. I wouldn't change the name just be firm when he arrives about the nickname. People will call him what you call him

cwiceangel · January 2015

I never let people call me by what would be a nickname, Meg. I always corrected them and said my name is Megan, not Meg. My mom did the same thing. My grandpa tried to call me Maggie and she nipped that in the bud real quick too. It's all in how you tell people. Most people will respect what you tell them. Your brother is just being an ass. However once your kid is old enough he will end up making the rules as to what he's called so prepare yourself for that. There are like two people who can use nicknames for me but it isn't Meg.

smilesallaround · January 2015

We had chosen Jason James. James is my husbands middle name and we were going to keep it. Everyone we told on both sides of our family said something along the lines of "oh how cute, we can call him JJ." My husband and I hate this and are now in deep discussion about changing the middle name.

I think it really depends on how you want to be with your family. Do you want to constantly be correcting people? It gives me anxiety so I'm choosing to change it.

picklesx · January 2015

Your brother might just be trying to push your buttons. My brothers did the same when I told them my son's name. They don't call him any of the ridiculous nicknames they came up with before he was born.

ChanStew · January 2015

Brothers tend to keep doing things they know bug their sisters. Explain clearly and firmly that you do not like the nickname Harry, and you don't want him to call your child that. Then just ignore him if he continues and reinforce with everyone else that it's Harrison or Harris.

I love Harris as a nn, super cute.

bananafanafofashley · January 2015

Id just punch the shit out of my brother and name my kid what I wanted to. He's just trying to get your goat.

keifekm · January 2015

I think it is a cute name. Chances are that anyone who gives him a nickname or teases him for his name would find a way to do so regardless of what you choose. I would stick with what you and your husband like.

boxermamahm · January 2015

We told our families we were going to name our daughter "Eden" (nickname Edie) and they were terrible. "Like garden of Eden?" "Edie, wanna eat-ie?" "Isn't that a boy's name?" And even "oh my god that is the ugliest name I've ever heard."

I have a pretty thick skin, but their taunting made me re-think it. I didn't want a religious name. I didn't want a unisex name. And suddenly, I couldn't help but see the word DIE as the last three letters of her name, nor shake the idea that E.D. could be mispronounced to sound like a man's penile difficulties. So, we dropped Eden, but we are definitely NOT sharing the new name until baby is here!

Scarlettg · January 2015

My friend's daughter is named Caitlyn. When she was born, her grandparents (both sides) and others tried calling her Caty. Her mom was quick to point out that her name was and is Caitlyn, the whole name, no abbreviations. Now Caitlyn is 12 and still goes by... Caitlyn. I don't know if other kids call her Caty or not, but at least within her family she is and always has been Caitlyn.

Stick to your guns, OP. If you love the name Harrison, I say go for it. If you don't like Harry, just correct others. If your brother insists on calling the baby Harry just ignore him. It'll die out.

fiscally3 · January 2015

My oldest is Charles, and for awhile my sister would call him Chuck, I think just to get under my skin. She stopped after a few months, I think is just one of those things siblings do to annoy each other. Also by the time he's old enough to respond, he won't respond because its not his name.

crossfit704 · January 2015

janexo221 said:

Its not you. It's total crap someone is giving you shit. It's not easy to come up with a name. I grew up with a harrison, We never called or even thought of harry. I love the name harrison parker. Stick to it and screw everyone else!

What she said! I've always said I will call our children what I name them not a nickname. When they get to school they can decide for themselves what they want to be called. This baby is Anthony…and that is what he will be called. Not Tony. To me its simple…call my kid the proper name or don't be around him. Simple as that.

dlamb922 · January 2015

Don't change it if you love it. We're naming our baby Lincoln and my aunt started calling him little Abe..... so I feel your pain

[Deleted User] · January 2015

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polynomz · January 2015

I wish we would have kept our name choice to ourselves.
My SO has a long history of boys in his family having the middle name Allen.
My grandfather (the man practically raised me) passed away when I was 13 weeks pregnant. I kept my pregnancy from him because he was in such a bad decline mentally and physically..He had Melanoma.
So me and my SO decided long ago to honor his memory and give him the middle name Francis, which was my grandfathers middle name. As soon as SO's family caught wind of this all hell broke loose. They seem to be completely insensitive as to why we chose to break tradition and have said some pretty cruel things. Its been really hard for me, but Im standing my ground. We arent breaking tradition for no reason, SO knows how important this man was to me..its just been really hard but I know in the end I will regret not going with my first choice. Sorry to take your post over with this but its something thats been hanging over me.

trixchik30 · January 2015

I think it's a universal thing that family thinks they have the right to weigh in on a name. Keep your name if you love it - it's not anybody else's choice. This is a good future lesson...if you choose to share just be ready to not listen to people. It's not their kid.

DPandMB · January 2015

I like those names and Harris as a nicknamr. When H and I were picking names, I ruled some out because I didn't like the nickname. That being said when we decided on Samantha my MIL said "oh Sammie." I hated it, told her and moved on. I like Samantha so we aren't changing now. My personal opinion, keep the name, tell your brother to piss off and call your LO whatever nickname YOU and your H like. Good luck. I do like the names a lot.

Jlotterman · January 2015

If you love the name, then don't change it. Your brother is just trying to push your buttons. My DS's name is Theodore and his nickname is Theo. We don't really like Ted or Teddy. However, we know that if he wants to go by Ted or Teddy when he grows up, that's his choice. People never try calling him anything but Theo because that's what we call him and that's what he will tell you he wants to be called(he's 4).

nikkijo3 · January 2015

It probably wouldn't matter what name you chose, your brother will likely try to come up with some sort of nickname that will drive you crazy just because he sounds like that type. If you love the name Harrison then stick with it. I think it's a great name btw. I know a boy named Harrison and that's what he was always called, I've never once heard him called Harry. If you always refer to him as Harrison, so will everyone else...although as other posters have said that could change with friends giving him a nickname...and it may have nothing to do with his original name in that case anyway.

And @polynomz‌ I'm sorry your SO's family has been so rude to you about using Francis as a middle name. I love your idea of using it and think it is a beautiful tribute to someone you loved and will mean so much to your son when you share with him how he received his middle name. I've given some of my children middle names if some of the grandparents I've loved and admired and plan on doing the same if this one ends up being a boy.

shayrenee86 · January 2015

I would tell him to stop and not leave it up to discussion. I've never been so defensive as I am now about my unborn DS, so I would not tolerate any negativity like that (maybe pregnancy has brought out my inner bitch, but so be it).
We're naming our DS Wes, and people have asked if it's a NN for Westley or Weston and I just clarify that it's just Wes. After reading this post, I'm thankful Wes doesn't have a NN.

polynomz · January 2015

@nikkijo3‌, thank you. That means alot.
Id rather be able to tell my son that we named him after a respectable, kind, gentle man (that should be anyones role model in my opinion) than to just be like 'wellllll, everyone elses middle name was allen so we kind of had to'
I thank you for your kind words, it helps to reinforce my decision to stand my ground.

Babykells3 · January 2015

Don't change it just based on what people may call him! DS2 is named Harrison, so I obviously LOVE the name! If you don't want him to be called 'Harry' just correct the person and say that you actually call him 'Harris' or just 'Harrison'.
(As a side note, we totally call our Harrison 'Harry' all the time, I think it's super cute! But that's just my opinion!)

knitfastdiewarm · January 2015

If you love Harrison, stick to your guns. It sounds like your brother is trying to push your buttons as only a sibling can.

My aunt's name is Pamela. My grandma insists it's not Pam or Pammy. My grandma met the CEO of the company my aunt worked for and he said "We all love Pam!" My grandma looked at him and said "That is not her name. It's Pamela. I trust you can remember that." My poor aunt was horrified but that's how serious my grandma is that she hates nicknames. Luckily the CEO was really nice and laid-back about being called out by a 70 year-old woman.

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