I am a soon-to-be first time mom and decided I would like my husband and mom to be with me. I know a lot of women are against this because it's an intimate experience with your husband. However, I'm wondering if anyone else decided to have your mom along as well or if you've had both members in for a prior delivery, what were the roles of each of them? My husband is wondering what my mom will do, and I already know she will not get in the way or step on his toes at all.
Re: Husband and mom in for delivery
Do what works for you & whom will support you and make you feel more comfortable. For me, only DH and medical personnel as my mom means well but stresses me out.
Both can help hold your legs if needed, massage your back, apply counter pressure especially for lower back pain, rock/dance with you, verbally encourage you. They can also tag-team: one can step out for a break (food/drink) while leaving you another support person so you're not alone.
Clarify who will assist w/delivery (if you want), cut the cord, etc so no potential fight at the actual moment. Clarify if you want pictures taken (or if hospital allows this).
my mom and husband were there for DS's brith and will both be there for this one.
My mom and husband each took turns rubbing my back, helping me out, and holding my legs.
If its what you want, and your mom and husband are ok with it, then great, go for it.
It's 100% a personal preference and so do what is right for you and your family.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
This time will be just DH. My mom will be caring for dd1.
Once the babies were born my mom took tons of pictures of them and told me all about them while I was getting stitched up. I'm not sure who will be in the room this time.
There's no right answer to this question. Whatever feels comfortable to you is what I'd do. You don't have to decide in advance either you can just see how you feel and then make a decision at the time.
All that to say... I know that some women loved having their mothers in the room but make sure you have a conversation about what type of support you expect yor mom to be. I didn't and my mom assumed she was just there for the show apparently.
I wouldn't want anyone but my husband in there with me knowing what I now know about the process. Obviously my friend had a good reason to have me in with her (was on bad terms with her husband) but in a solid relationship I think it should just be the parents.
Also if for some reason I wanted my mom there I think my husband would also feel his mom should be there and there's no way that's happening.
My MIL mostly just sat in the rocking chair, she didn't really do too much. She would get me water and a cool rag, occasionally she would say something encouraging, but more just to be a part of it, which is what I wanted.
My mother took a more active role, she massaged my back when DH couldn't, stood up for me when the nurse was being unreasonable (my mom expressed my wishes in a nice way, but was firm), held my leg while I was pushing, held my hand while they stitched me up (DH was with DS).
The other things I asked my mom to be in charge of was giving the nurse the baby book so she would stamp baby's footprints in it and reminding me to ask for pain relievers after baby was born. For some reason with my first, they did not offer me medication and I didn't think to ask.
DH and my doula will be the other two people present, aside from hospital staff and my OB.
2nd round exp 8/20/18.