The ultimate postpartum post

thejollyrancher · December 2014

I had an episiotomy and internal tearing with my first (hoping to avoid that shit this time) and used a squeeze bottle (warm water) to clean throughout the day. Also warm "bath" with Epsom salts (just plain) will help. I would just fill the tub a little bit and soak the necessary parts for about 10-15 mins each day. I also second the "patting rather than wiping" policy mentioned by @michelle142‌ that is some key advice.

thejollyrancher · December 2014

Another thing: lanolin was highly recommended to me and I'm sure it's wonderful stuff, but if you have sensitive skin or issues with wool like I do, use carefully. I had an awful reaction and oh boy super itchy and swollen (just horrible on top of the milk coming in and already sore nipples)! I used a little olive oil when needed instead and it worked like a charm.

ETA- I did not suffer cracked or bleeding nipples at any point using the extra virgin olive oil

yesiknowwhatcausesthat · December 2014

CdnFarmGirl08 said:
Or they gave me a little dish to fill and sit in on the toilet. Can't remember what it's called.

Is it called a sitz bath?

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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winterbabe2015 · December 2014

seamonster said:
I have a question for any STMs who are also migraine sufferers. I've been incredibly lucky not to have had any attacks this entire pregnancy (plenty of headaches, but no migraines). Did you find that they came roaring back after giving birth, returned to a normal frequency, or no issues?

FWIW, I've not been on any prevention medications because the frequency is low if I keep my triggers in check.

My migraines actually never came back after my first until I got pregnant with my second. Then they returned to their "normal" schedule.

misshart00 · December 2014

seamonster said:
I have a question for any STMs who are also migraine sufferers. I've been incredibly lucky not to have had any attacks this entire pregnancy (plenty of headaches, but no migraines). Did you find that they came roaring back after giving birth, returned to a normal frequency, or no issues?

FWIW, I've not been on any prevention medications because the frequency is low if I keep my triggers in check.

I have chronic migraine and I think I got one between giving birth and getting pregnant again. In some women, pregnancy can cure things. But don't get too excited because it affects every woman differently.

gratefulfunmama1001 · December 2014

After a c-section, bring a pillow, boppy or towel type item for incision area. Laughing, sneezing, coughing are like nothing you have ever felt before. Stay on top of your meds, don't trust your nurse to bring them every 4 hours.

Water, water and more water especially if breast feeding. Breast feeding isn't as glamorous, super easy,comes naturally, a simple thing to pick up (not for me anyway) the day baby is born. After the first few weeks, we were pros and I loved it, remember; it's a learning curve for you and baby. Try not to tense your body and lead your breasts to baby: doesn't help with body soreness. Use your lactation consultants at hospital, ask for nipple shields, cry, move to a variety of positions, use pillows and know you're not alone. WISH someone would have told me with my first how difficult the first few weeks of nursing could be. I had to use a dropper to give him a few drops of milk to open his mouth, than get nipple with shield in his mouth. I jokingly called it his crack pipe. We ended up getting the grove and nursed for 18 months.

Ask for help with household stuff: dishes, laundry, groceries and other children. You don't need someone to hold the baby!

This is a fun reminder.

)

MissEm15 · December 2014

These responses are so great!! Thanks to all the BTDT Mommas giving advice!

Any different/extra advice for c/s FTMs?

Angeldcf · December 2014

BellinghamMama said:

About a week after delivery I discovered a huge lump in my armpit / side breast... and freaked out (in my sleepless, anxious state) thinking I had breast cancer.
Clogged ducts.
Heat + nurse + massage + repeat.

eta: words

Same here. I totally freaked out that it was rock hard. That extra "fat roll" in your armpit is actually breast tissue (Tail of Spence) and will fill with milk. Happy to get that info/solutions (massage the milk down during BF), but slightly ticked I'd always been embarrassed of my "fat roll" in strapless dresses when it was breast tissue.

Valentino2013 · December 2014

I have to admit this is all a little frightening (both because its getting so close and because of what's in store) but as a FTM I appreciate hearing everyone's experiences. Thanks!!

Angeldcf · December 2014

Had an epi. After delivery, I barfed (normal) but could not sit up without a horrendous migraine (had to keep head of bed < 15 degrees). They said I might need a blood patch if it didn't resolve in 24hrs. Really, really wanted to avoid that.

PP nurse was amazing and suggested attempting BF again. Don't know if it was placebo effect + BF + hormones, but I sat up (intense, shearing pain, losing vision, ice pick in my skull) and it faded away in seconds as he nursed. I started crying & thanked her.

Pain meds: agree w/PP to stay on top of it. They are likely NOT scheduled meds, but rather available every few hours IF you request them. If you can go 5-6 hrs and be fine, then great bc you eventually want to wean off, but don't assume your RN will show up w/a pain pill every 4 hrs.

chicagojackie · December 2014

We loved our Brest friend pillow--firm and easier for me than boppy which I thought was too squishy.

I used EarthMama Angel Baby nipple butter (no lanolin) because I am a fair, Irish, rashy lady and the lanolin made me so itchy and rashy. I got a sample at pea in the pod and tried it on my inner arm while still pg. was a great idea. I have issues with contact dermatitis though.

Colace or miralax as soon as your baby's out. Take something for pain regularly pp, don't get behind on this in the first few days.

ConstanceGoodspeed · December 2014

It's not just the first poop; it's every poop until you heal. Don't stop taking the poop meds just because you cleared that first hurdle. My worst poop was almost two weeks later (I had foolishly stopped the Colace).

I got night sweats. When I would wake in the middle of the night to feed baby, I would also have to change my wet pajamas.

Baby blues last two-ish weeks. I was so paranoid that I had PPD because I would cry, but really it was just the hormones re-adjusting. Certainly keep your eyes open for PPD, but know that crying and crazy emotions are also normal for those first few days.

Only around half of women drop all the baby weight while breastfeeding. The rest of us lose it after weaning. Some bodies hold on to the weight as a safety net so you can't lose it without affecting supply. We only hear about those who lose it immediately so it seems more common than it actually is.

misshart00 · December 2014

ConstanceGoodspeed said:
It's not just the first poop; it's every poop until you heal. Don't stop taking the poop meds just because you cleared that first hurdle. My worst poop was almost two weeks later (I had foolishly stopped the Colace).

I got night sweats. When I would wake in the middle of the night to feed baby, I would also have to change my wet pajamas.

Baby blues last two-ish weeks. I was so paranoid that I had PPD because I would cry, but really it was just the hormones re-adjusting. Certainly keep your eyes open for PPD, but know that crying and crazy emotions are also normal for those first few days.

Only around half of women drop all the baby weight while breastfeeding. The rest of us lose it after weaning. Some bodies hold on to the weight as a safety net so you can't lose it without affecting supply. We only hear about those who lose it immediately so it seems more common than it actually is.

Absolutely yes about PPD. I talked to my doctor about it and she said watch if other people are telling you that you're cranky and the timing. She said if it's just a couple days after birth, it's probably not PPD, but just exhaustion. But she said if it's still bad and consistent a couple weeks later, go ahead and give her a call.

michelle142 · December 2014

On the poop note - I actually had quite the opposite issue from constipation. Pooping was not a problem... it was actually a little too easy if you know what I mean.

selly08 · December 2014

Thank you all for the tips. But, I am a nervous wreck!

mishka29 · December 2014

So much great stuff here! I'll add to the boobie leaky comments. Make sure you sleep on something to protect your matress. Also, laying down nursing is the best thing ever...but do it with a towel or blanket underneath!

CatLadyTX · December 2014

If you think something isn't right and you might be having some problems with PPA or PPD, talk to someone. It took me too long to figure out that I had PPD, and by then I was too scared to say something. Get the help you need.

Along the same lines, your marriage will suffer at first. Be strong and communicate with your SO. We had to hit rock bottom befor things got better, and I'm hoping we can do better than that this time. Your husband might not understand why you are focusing the attention that he was accustomed to getting on the baby, and may feel hurt. You might not feel supported. Talk to each other.

chicagojackie · December 2014

I think this whole not having bleeding accidents is getting out of hand. If you're still bleeding through multiple giant pads a day and you went home from the hospital you need to talk to your doctor about that.

amt0312 · December 2014

Postpartum was awful. My advice:

1. Take stool softeners like its your job BEFORE birth. I took them last time, but apparently not enough and I was wicked constipated going into labor. Still hadn't gone by the time she was born and it was the most awful experience of my life when I finally did go.

2. Dermoplast spray, peribottle, tucks pads are all your friends

3. The maternity pads suck. I used Depends for 5 days or so postpartum so i never worried about a leak. It was glorious. After that, I was able to go back to regular maxi pads.

4. Sudafed (the legit kind from behind the pharmacy counter) and cabbage leaves helped me dry up my milk and got me through a painful bout of mastitis right before I stopped breastfeeding. (We made it 3 weeks before we gave up. DD wasn't gaining and unable to latch properly.)

5. Triple cream from a compounding pharmacy and a breast shield helped with nursing pain while we did breastfeed.

6. Be on the lookout for PPD- its sneaky and you won't even realize that you aren't acting right. Make sure your SO or a friend is on the lookout for wonky behavior that might signal depression. I went on celexa at 2 weeks postpartum and i'm still on a super low dose now through my pregnancy.

7. You won't be able to hold your farts in. Or pee. Kiegels!!!

8. Plan for everything to take twice as long to accomplish such as dishes, getting out of the house, cooking, or whatever. I'm hiring a cleaning lady this time around. Fuck trying to keep my house clean or making my husband do it after he worked all day. We need a break.

9. Survive as best you can.

usmcwife89 · December 2014

Can anyone tell me when their swelling went down after delivery? Did it get worse during labor? Did anyone NOT swell at all through pregnancy but started during labor?

Just something I've been wondering and this is perfect to get "real" answers

t8keepr03 · December 2014

usmcwife89 said:
Can anyone tell me when their swelling went down after delivery? Did it get worse during labor? Did anyone NOT swell at all through pregnancy but started during labor?

Just something I've been wondering and this is perfect to get "real" answers

I swelled while I was pregnant with DD and I swelled a lot more after delivery. I would say about a week later I noticed my feet weren't as swollen. It took a month or so to wear my wedding band again.

MrsJCool · December 2014

Great thread, thanks for starting it! FTM here and feeling a little less overwhelmed....

twinklymama · December 2014

Okay, so I've been reading really great reviews on Amazon about the Earth Mama Angel Baby New Mama Bottom Spray (or the bottom balm). Basically, it's a spray for the perineal area postpartum to help soothe the area. Some of the reviews mention the Bottom Balm, but touching that on a post-delivery perineum does not sound appealing to me. Most have been rave reviews and I'm willing to try the spray. I'm also reading that some have even used that on diaper rash and it cleared it up pretty quickly. Sounds like a win-win to me! I've seen it at Buy Buy Baby and on Amazon (NOT BRU).

MrsScally13 · December 2014

If you are having or end up delivering via c-section be sure to line up some help for the days (and weeks after delivery). I didn't get much help and my c-section reopened. It was extremely painful and it was just a small opening. Please go easy on yourself. Let house work wait! If you are staying with friends or family (as I was) make it crystal clear you are not going to keep up with the house work.

Also be aware postpartum depression/psychosis can come on as early as hours after birth or as late as 4-6 months after. If you think you need to talk to someone don't wait! I waited and ended up on a 72hr involuntary hold with postpartum psychosis. Symptoms can be subtle and then explode in a matter of hours. I'm sure most you won't have to deal with any of this but even if there is no clinical diagnosis parenting is hard. Feeling sad, angry, and hopeless are normal feeling but don't let them fester. Find a good friend or a doctor and let them out!

Basicay be sure you have a good support system. Nothing is better than being Mommy and at time nothing is harder, scarier, or more beautiful. Be sure you have support for every part, not just the fun happy times.

mom2xover2002 · December 2014

Saw this and thought of all of us mommy's!

https://www.babble.com/pregnancy/20-things-i-wish-someone-had-told-me-about-postpartum/

mishka29 · December 2014

usmcwife89 said:
Can anyone tell me when their swelling went down after delivery? Did it get worse during labor? Did anyone NOT swell at all through pregnancy but started during labor?

Just something I've been wondering and this is perfect to get "real" answers

I get that you are probably talking about feet and fingers here....but holy shit was my vag huge after labour. I guess I mean labia really. But massive mcpregnant vag! Increased blood flow, pushing, swelling, all that stuff is to blame but it went down after a couple of days. But I felt like we were seriously in world record territory for a day or two there.

RedGiant · December 2014

I will say that dermaplast, tucks pads, and peri bottle were my best friends for bathroom visits. Stool softeners as well. Don't strain when trying to poop! I bared down to much and about a week postpartum I ended up with a prolapsed uterus. Kegels are your friend, do them often.

My night sweats only lasted a few days to a week, but having multiple sets of clean pj's/nursing tops was great for middle of the night changes. I slept with a towel under me until the sweating went away.

Accept offers of help; you just birthed a baby and deserve some rest.

ryanmichael1208 · December 2014

Suggestions on gifts to give nurses?

krispy83 · December 2014

usmcwife89 said:

Can anyone tell me when their swelling went down after delivery? Did it get worse during labor? Did anyone NOT swell at all through pregnancy but started during labor? Just something I've been wondering and this is perfect to get "real" answers

I had no swelling AT ALL during my pregnancy with DS. About 36 hours after I delivered, I was sitting in the chair in my hospital room nursing and looked down at my feet - they looked like I was a cartoon character or something. It was almost comical. The nurse told me it's totally common - if you have an IV at all during L&D, all that fluid has to go somewhere. Plus all the extra fluid that your body just holds onto during pregnancy.

I kept my feet elevated whenever possible once we were home, drank a ton of water, went for short walks when I felt up to it, and got some footrubs from my DH (may not have helped, but certainly didn't hurt!!) and was pretty much back to normal within a few days, certainly within a week of delivery.

SquirrelsRWatching · December 2014

ryanmichael1208 said:

Suggestions on gifts to give nurses?

FTM here, but I was thinking I would send DH out for some donuts and coffee for the nurses.

boxerrrmama85 · December 2014

This thread has been so beneficial! I have done so much reading and research on pregnancy and childbirth/delivery. I am now starting to read more on pp due to this thread--
Feeling good that I now have a more complete view on the whole disgustingly miraculous journey that we are on

Nlavender13 · December 2014

Here is some things I can think of from my last week after a vaginal delivery

1) it takes a few hrs for you to get the feeling back in you legs and even longer for it to compleatly come back so be carefull when you start to stand.

2) take the pain meds they give you!! Don't wait till you start to feel pain because then it is too late and takes too long for the pain meds to kick in. They will come in every hr right after to check on you bleading and stomach. They do this by pressing very hard on your stomach and it is more painful then delivery, but it will get better as the day goes on and they stop doing it after about 6 hrs.

3) using the bathroom becomes something you have to work at:) You have one big pad, one pad that is an ice pack( they are amazing), tucks ( make sure you have some at home waiting for you ), a medicated numbing spray, and a water bottle to wash after peeing ( you can't use toilet paper) . All this goes in your underpants or on you every time you pee and feels like you are walking around with 5 layers of maxi pads on. Take the stool softeners!!!!!! I did not have a problem going #2 because I made sure I took them and did not over eat till I had gone. The pain meds will back you up so even if you have never had a problem you will.

4) take advantage of the nursery at night! Send you little one to them at night so you can get some sleep and just have them bring them to you for feedings and send them back. When you get home there is no more sleep so you need the get as much rest as you can when you are in the hospital. It does not make you a bad mom!!!

5) If you plan on BFing give it time to come in. It could take up to 5 days for your milk to come in so don't give up. When it does it is painful, keep on top of using creams, hot wet washcloths, and dry breast pads. You don't want to let you nipples crack or clog before you start taking care of them.

psychobutthead · December 2014

There are things I wish people would have warned me about when I had my daughter.

Like no one ever told me once you have the baby every so often the nurses will come in and push down on your stomach/uterus and that when they do this massive amounts of blood, fluid, and urine will just come gushing out. No one warned me of this and no one explained what they where doing before hand...I pissed everywhere.

No one talked to me about hemorrhoids. I got terrible ones after DD. I didn't know at first that I had them because everything just hurt in general down there. After the stitches and what not healed my ass hurt like crazy and every time I pooped I also pooped blood. Finally realized what was going on and got someone to buy my preparation H. I'm not saying it will happen to everyone but I would rather be prepared for it and have the supplies before hand.

No one told me about the awful cramping my uterus would do even after a week. It was so bad for it had me down and screaming and I couldn't move and breast feeding made it worse.

No one ever had a talk with me about what I should have to bf or what to expect with breastfeeding. No one in my family ever breast fed before so everything I experienced everyone kept telling me wasn't normal.

Don't let anyone bully you into not breastfeeding. That being said if you try and it just isn't for you don't let anyone make you feel bad or feel like a failure for not continuing. Because in my experience that lactation consultant at wic was on me about it bad even though she wouldn't help me.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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psychobutthead · December 2014

Stephanie2378 said:

I didn't have any difficulty walking after giving birth nor was I in any pain (other than when the nurse pushed on my stomach and when I peed) so it's not a guarantee that you will. I didn't have an epidural so that may be why I was okay with walking and I didn't tear so maybe why I didn't have pain. Those of you who needed pain meds, what hurt? Like your stomach or vag or what? Genuinely curious since I know my previous experiences do not dictate what could happen this time. Also breast feeding was very painful at first because it causes your uterus to contract and for me it increased my bleeding while I was doing it.

I'm going to assume the ladies who use pain meds probably had c-sections or ripped and had to have stitches. I ripped and had to have stitches so the pain meds they gave me where very much appreciated. I also didn't walk for hours after giving birth because I had an epidural and I still couldn't feel my legs.

yesiknowwhatcausesthat · December 2014

Stephanie2378 said:

Those of you who needed pain meds, what hurt? Like your stomach or vag or what? Genuinely curious since I know my previous experiences do not dictate what could happen this time.

I usually need pain meds to help with the after cramps, but just for a few hours (up to 36).

This is not postpartum advice but more for the coming weeks--look into doing perineal massage if possible. I think it has helped me avoid tears in these later years...then again people think that my babies just fall out (they don't).

Ceefome · December 2014

Ask for extra mesh underwear to take home. Or any other supplies - like Tucks or even the disposable ice packs - if you still need them. (Or you can fill a diaper with ice if you don't have the ice packs).

For continued constipation - probiotics. If pooping is still difficult a few weeks PP, definetly get probiotics.

Yes, yes, yes, about using the nursery, especially if this is baby 2 (or more). Get your rest while you can.

You will be famished after delivery. If you have a c/s - it may be a day before they let you have solid food instead of a liquid diet, especially if you puked during delivery. And if you're BFing you will be hungry all the time.

The first time you stand up after delivery, you may feel your organs fall back into place. It's kinda like riding a roller coaster.

Even if you have a tear free vaginal birth, there will still be swelling. Don't be afraid to ask for and take ibuprofen.

ryanmichael1208 · December 2014

I've seen a lot mentioned about taking colace as a laxative - is this brand the one recommended by the hospital or can you take any laxative/stool softener?

DBJackson25 · December 2014

So I'm apparently the only woman on earth that doesn't wear yoga pants but everyone is recommending them. What are some good brands? I've only really seen them at VS and I'm not sure I'm into cheetah print

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