How old was LO when....

MrsTinMKE · December 2014

You spent the first night away from them? DD is 2 months, but I am not ready for an overnight away, especially since she is not STTN - couldn't do that to my MIL. I have a family member who after 1.5 years wouldn't leave her daughter for a night. Said she wasn't ready. That seems extreme, but wonder what others have done?

golfingdarwinfish · December 2014

I'll be spending a week away in March - so about 5 months, if not sooner.

pnwlover12 · December 2014

Mine is pretty pathetic. Not until DD was 2 years old.

AppleGrapeMSTK · December 2014

I left DS1 when he was 5 or 6 months.

CNJ4EVA · December 2014

Haven't left this LO yet, but with my DD I believe it was around the 3-4 month mark.

JayneMouse · December 2014

My oldest is 6 and the closest I have come to leaving him or DS2 overnight, was the 6 hours I was at the birth center while DS3 was being born. We left after they were in bed and came home before they woke up.

BreandMikewedding · December 2014

With my first she was 1 year old and I cried the whole time because I missed her. I left my second overnight when I had lo (he was 2.5). I don't have anyone in state that I would leave lo with, but if I did, I probably wouldn't leave him until he was closer to 1. I'm a little overprotective and clingy with my kids.

MrsTinMKE · December 2014

starla487 said:

I have to leave her with DH for three days in March so I can travel for work. I'm a bit nervous.

This makes me nervous as I also have to travel for work. We have a global conference coming up for work in Singapore. I am secretly very happy I was not asked to attend this year. Being SO far away I would have been a total mess. I told H I wouldn't have been able to handle it, even though it would have been an amazing experience. I don't think leaving DD for a night out with H will be as big of a deal, but still not sure how soon I will be ready to do that.

Emerald27 · December 2014

My one and only night away from DS1 was the night after this LO was born.

jenndub · December 2014

DD1 - 11 months old to go to a wedding. I cried so hard.
DS - 10 days old, I was in the hospital. Lots and lots of crying.
DD2 - 19 months for a bachelorette party. So much crying.

Basically I'm a total baby when I have to leave my little guys overnight and I always feel really guilty. They're always fine, they don't care. I'm a mess.

slsl509 · December 2014

DD was about 10-11 months old when we went away for the weekend. My parents do PT care so staying with them is a treat for her. We are very fortunate to have that situation. It was hard for me to leave her but she didn't miss us that much but I was still nursing so she missed me a little.

We left her with my parents when she was about 26 months for 4 days. She did not miss us at all. She was not ready to go home with us when we got back.

swise22 · December 2014

DH and I are going up to Chicago this weekend for my birthday and leaving DS with my parents for the night. He'll be 3 months old but I feel better about it since he's been STTN the past few weeks. I'm nervous for it but also excited for a little getaway with DH.

golfingdarwinfish · December 2014

MrsTinMKE said:

starla487 said:

I have to leave her with DH for three days in March so I can travel for work. I'm a bit nervous.

This makes me nervous as I also have to travel for work. We have a global conference coming up for work in Singapore. I am secretly very happy I was not asked to attend this year. Being SO far away I would have been a total mess. I told H I wouldn't have been able to handle it, even though it would have been an amazing experience. I don't think leaving DD for a night out with H will be as big of a deal, but still not sure how soon I will be ready to do that.

I'm with you guys. I have 5 international trips planned for 2015 already.

I'm going to work with my manager to see if we can send consultants to any of them.

angeltennis3 · December 2014

I will have two out of town work trips that will last about a week in May/June time and August/September. I am sure it will be hard but am glad I don't have to leave her much younger than that.

It will be interesting to see how DH manages solo...

vrj0522 · December 2014

We left DS with my parents for one night when he was 3 months old on our anniversary weekend (he was already sleeping 8-9 hrs at night). Don't have any immediate plans to leave DD but it's not something that I'm afraid of.

MrsTinMKE · December 2014

golfingdarwinfish said:

MrsTinMKE said:

starla487 said:

I have to leave her with DH for three days in March so I can travel for work. I'm a bit nervous.

This makes me nervous as I also have to travel for work. We have a global conference coming up for work in Singapore. I am secretly very happy I was not asked to attend this year. Being SO far away I would have been a total mess. I told H I wouldn't have been able to handle it, even though it would have been an amazing experience. I don't think leaving DD for a night out with H will be as big of a deal, but still not sure how soon I will be ready to do that.

I'm with you guys. I have 5 international trips planned for 2015 already. I'm going to work with my manager to see if we can send consultants to any of them.

@golfingdarwinfish - Big hugs lady. I hate this... I tell myself I can do anything a man can do and I don't want to be treated any differently because I am a woman and that having kids will not affect me, but honestly it really has and I don't want to do the things I used to, like traveling all the time. I feel like it is a lose, lose situation

I was ALL about my career until this little girl came into my life!

MrMrsandBaby · December 2014

With my first, she was 6 months the first time we went away. I will be away for 2 nights in March for a girls weekend this time - Brooke will be about 5 months. One night both of the girls will be with my parents, the other night DH will be home with them.

Allison wasn't STTN when we went away, but she did for Grandma and Grandpa...little stinker!

windwithfingers · December 2014

I haven't left DS overnight anywhere, but I asked my mom and she didn't leave me overnight anywhere until I was 4 years old.

beachbumsc · December 2014

I left DD with my mom for the night last weekend so DH and I could go to dinner and a play for my birthday. I handled it better than I thought I would. She sleeps 8-10 hours a night most nights and she had no issues. I would be nervous leaving her with anyone but my mom though

2goingon3 · December 2014

First time I left her was when DD was 4 months old. I was MOH in a wedding and the bachelorette was an overnighter. I pumped like crazy to get a good stash for the weekend and left her with DH.

The first time leaving her with Grandma overnight was at a year old.

bumpuser10309732 · December 2014

Uhm, probably when shes 18 and goes off to college.

pushgal84 · December 2014

DS had an overnight with MIL at 7wks. She lives 2 blocks away. DS was very content the entire time and DH and I loved the sleep!

lotsobabies · December 2014

I honestly don't remember how old my first 2 were.

We will be leaving LO overnight on New Year's Eve this year. He'll be 3 months old.

persephonerose · December 2014

I never spent a day away from DS1 until I went into L&D at 34 weeks. We went every where together. I never even went to the store or a hair appointment without him. Unfortunately that meant when I was forced to be away from him I had a melt down. I wish I had spent at least a few hours away routinely when he was younger. It would have been easier on me.

serenbach · December 2014

crawford411 said:
I left Sunny with my parents last weekend. She was 9 weeks. It was awesome. Sleep.

Just do whatever makes you comfortable.

I'm so glad I just read this, DS had his first sleep over on Friday (8 weeks) and I was starting to freak out reading everyone's posts. My mum has had my newphews for sleep overs since they were a few weeks old and has been excited to have DS to sleepover. I think it would be different if I had of been able to breast feed but since I'm EFF and have had to leave him for work etc I did feel too bad about it.
Me and SO were able to have a meal, drink all the wine, DTD all over the hotel room then cuddle up and sleep for 9 hours straight. We seriously needed it, I didn't realise how much strain sleep depravation has on your relationship.

We did however call/ text my parents a ridiculous amount of times and we spent 50% of dinner comparing photos on our phones of LO.

swise22 · December 2014

crawford411 said:

I left Sunny with my parents last weekend. She was 9 weeks. It was awesome. Sleep. Just do whatever makes you comfortable.
I'm so glad I just read this, DS had his first sleep over on Friday (8 weeks) and I was starting to freak out reading everyone's posts. My mum has had my newphews for sleep overs since they were a few weeks old and has been excited to have DS to sleepover. I think it would be different if I had of been able to breast feed but since I'm EFF and have had to leave him for work etc I did feel too bad about it. Me and SO were able to have a meal, drink all the wine, DTD all over the hotel room then cuddle up and sleep for 9 hours straight. We seriously needed it, I didn't realise how much strain sleep depravation has on your relationship. We did however call/ text my parents a ridiculous amount of times and we spent 50% of dinner comparing photos on our phones of LO.
I am EBF except at work and we only texted once. I just knew she was in good hands. My mom and I watched my sister's baby at 3 days old while she was in the hospital. My dad watches Sunny one day a week as it is while I work 10 hour shifts, so I'm used to being away from her 12 hours or more and she is used to my dad. As long as she is in good hands, I don't worry too much. She is lucky to have so many trusted family members so close by and so are we! Like PP said, new situations: are typically way harder on me than on her. I want her to have family she feels safe with in case of emergency, and I want our family to know her and her routines.

This exactly for us. I work 12 hour shifts so I will be away from DS long stretches of time. I feel 100% comfortable with my parents watching him and I want him to be comfortable overnight if need be. Plus, it gives DH and I some time alone which is nice once in a while.

ETA: spelling

BeanNut · December 2014

9 months with my first and even then I didn't want to but I felt pressured to go to a Bachelorette party. I'm not too comfortable with it for about the first year and even after that I leave very specific childcare instructions:).

courtney8806 · December 2014

My mom has offered a few times, but I'm not ready yet. Maybe around the 3 month mark I'll give it a try, depending on how DH feels about it.

TheFutureMrs.O · December 2014

DS was 16 months and it was when I was in the hospital for DD birth.

mlhw NH · December 2014

Emerald27 said:
My one and only night away from DS1 was the night after this LO was born.

Same here. Except it was two nights. DS1 is 3 today!

Lindseyione · December 2014

DD was 14 months the first time I left her overnight which was when I got in a car accident and had to spend the night in the hospital so the doctors could keep an eye on LO when I was almost 25 weeks pregnant.

AmandaJean12 · December 2014

Those of you saying you waited until they were 1 or 2 are making me feel so much better.

I'm passing up a kind of big work opportunity because I would have to be away from her for 3.5 days in January. I'm sending DH instead. And I've gotten some annoyance/disbelief from people... but I'm just not ready to leave her behind for that long. And bringing someone to sit in a hotel room with her all day while I'm working doesn't seem fair to anyone.

MrsTinMKE · December 2014

AmandaJean12 said:

Those of you saying you waited until they were 1 or 2 are making me feel so much better.

I'm passing up a kind of big work opportunity because I would have to be away from her for 3.5 days in January. I'm sending DH instead. And I've gotten some annoyance/disbelief from people... but I'm just not ready to leave her behind for that long. And bringing someone to sit in a hotel room with her all day while I'm working doesn't seem fair to anyone.

I don't blame you for this, I would feel the same way...

MrsL2B · December 2014

We don't have any family here, so it probably won't happen any time in the foreseeable future. Hopefully this kid will have lots of friends who want to have sleepovers at their houses.

Dani0329 · December 2014

DD is 8 weeks old today. Even though time away sounds nice, I can't imagine being away for one night. I guess whenever I feel less anxiety we will try.

Emerald27 · December 2014

crawford411 said:

Nicb13 said:

mlhw NH said:

Emerald27 said:
My one and only night away from DS1 was the night after this LO was born.
Same here. Except it was two nights. DS1 is 3 today!

This is nuts!

I'm glad someone said it. Don't you want even a night or two to yourself?

--------------------
Nah. I really don't need it. When they're little enough that I'd have to pump to replace feedings, I would rather just bring baby along. When they're old enough that I don't need to pump overnight, I still don't want to leave them overnight. It was really hard for me to be away from DS1 when DS2 was born.

It works for some families and doesn't work for others. I say do what works best for you. I'm sorry you find my preference to be "nuts."

heathera1979 · December 2014

I leave DD overnight 3 nights a week for work. DH takes great care of her. I do text him several times, but not because I'm worried, because I miss her.

cetrump1123 · December 2014

My parents have offered to do an overnight every 6-8 weeks for us (in addition to a date night once a month). We have the first overnight scheduled in jan when DD will be 3.5 months. Sure I'm nervous about leaving her but I'm also looking forward to all that alone time with DH.

meggiev123 · December 2014

I traveled a lot when DD was young, I think my first trip was when she was around 5 months. She always did great, but it was a hassle because I EBF. When she was 10 months old I had to go to Indonesia for 10 days and she decided to self-wean when I returned. I had really hoped to get to one year, so with this one I'm trying to limit trips to just a few days if possible to not risk it.

bumpuser10309732 · December 2014

Kaylajade8911 said:

Emerald27 said:

crawford411 said:

Nicb13 said:

mlhw NH said:

Emerald27 said:
My one and only night away from DS1 was the night after this LO was born.
Same here. Except it was two nights. DS1 is 3 today!

This is nuts!
I'm glad someone said it. Don't you want even a night or two to yourself?
--------------------
Nah. I really don't need it. When they're little enough that I'd have to pump to replace feedings, I would rather just bring baby along. When they're old enough that I don't need to pump overnight, I still don't want to leave them overnight. It was really hard for me to be away from DS1 when DS2 was born.

It works for some families and doesn't work for others. I say do what works best for you. I'm sorry you find my preference to be "nuts."

I agree, I hated being away from DS1. I had to stay an extra night and I was pretty upset about it. I'll quite happily have a couple hours to myself, not a whole night.

I don't know that anyone really loves leaving their kids but I would worry my kid wouldn't be secure to stay with anyone overnight when she's older. No one ever watched my nephew who is now 2. My SIL drove him and his mom home from the airport and he cried the entire way home just because someone different was driving. So...I'd like to avoid that...

MrsTinMKE · December 2014

MrsBabe614 said:

mlhw NH said:

My one and only night away from DS1 was the night after this LO was born.
Same here. Except it was two nights. DS1 is 3 today!

This is nuts!
I'm glad someone said it. Don't you want even a night or two to yourself?
-------------------- Nah. I really don't need it. When they're little enough that I'd have to pump to replace feedings, I would rather just bring baby along. When they're old enough that I don't need to pump overnight, I still don't want to leave them overnight. It was really hard for me to be away from DS1 when DS2 was born. It works for some families and doesn't work for others. I say do what works best for you. I'm sorry you find my preference to be "nuts."
I agree, I hated being away from DS1. I had to stay an extra night and I was pretty upset about it. I'll quite happily have a couple hours to myself, not a whole night.
I don't know that anyone really loves leaving their kids but I would worry my kid wouldn't be secure to stay with anyone overnight when she's older. No one ever watched my nephew who is now 2. My SIL drove him and his mom home from the airport and he cried the entire way home just because someone different was driving. So...I'd like to avoid that...

I think everyone varies on this topic, but I agree that I would want to avoid the above instance ^
I think some time away would be healthy for mom, dad and baby. I think after maybe 6 months or so we may try a night away and leave DD with my ILs for a night. My relationship with DH is incredibly important to me as well and I want to make sure we are dedicating some time for just the two of us to get away.

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