Treated horrible at anatomy scan

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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staccajaye · December 2014

I agree with PP, is your baby ok and get the all clear?? That's what the anatomy scan is for???

JustMoiAgain · December 2014

IFinTN said:

But did everything turn out ok with the scan? When you say horrible scan, I think bad news...

This^^.......Just about to say the same thing......

rositalynda2014 · December 2014

I totally understand that must have sucked but i thought maybe something was wrong with baby too. I still agree your doctor sounds cruel

samiamagirl · December 2014

To play devil's advocate for your doctor, I can understand why he was a little annoyed that you wanted to stop the scan so your sister could come in and watch. The problem with scans is that a lot of doctor's are on a time crunch (back to back to back appointments) and have to try and get so many precise measurements around the baby wiggling and moving. Any moment the baby is still the doctor is going to want to take as much advantage of as possible.

I hope everything came out well in your anatomy scan and you got a great and healthy update about your LO. There are a lot of ladies on this board who I'm sure would take a cold, impersonal doctor over the news their anatomy scan brought them.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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vballgirl78 · December 2014

I agree.... Change the title of your post. This implies that something is wrong with your baby. Others are going through this very thing and your post comes across as insensitive.

mpiemont · December 2014

Was your baby healthy? If not, that would be this "horrible anatomy scan" you speak of.

I'm sorry it wasn't the experience you'd hoped for. I've had 2 AS's that were "fun" and 1 where the tech was a bee-otch and gave us maybe 2 pictures and didn't talk about what we were seeing, etc. But all 3 showed a healthy baby which is all that matters.

kate6214 · December 2014

Please change the title of this thread. As someone having severe anxiety about their own scan tomorrow it was jarring to click on this thinking that you got bad news only to find out that you were venting about the experience. I'm sorry you felt like your doctor was cold and you didn't have the experience you were expecting. I hope everything checked out well for your baby.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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LimaD · December 2014

laurenn217 said:

I'm well aware that the important thing is my baby okay it's nice to have support if you might hear bad news. It's completely different thing being rude for no reason. I wasn't rude or overly pushy about my sister being there it was one question that I got lectured and my scan stopped for.

Yes your doctor was rude

But you really should change the title of this post. There are women on this board who really have had a bad outcome from their anatomy scan. I came in here ready to offer condolences on something serious.

AliceKC9876 · December 2014

I agree with others that said you shouldn't call this post horrible anatomy scan because there is a lot of bad news that some moms receive from the scan. The important thing to be thankful for is that you're baby looked healthy...BUT I agree with you that this doctor sounds like a total a-hole! He could have been much more tactful when he turned you down to give your sister a turn instead of being a condescending jerk. I would have been upset with the way he talked to me too. The ultrasound technicians for this pregnancy and my last pregnancy were always friendly to me...I'm sorry you had a bad experience.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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Hawk&Eye · December 2014

Ditto everyone else, when I clicked on your post I think I held my breath. Your doc probably could have a better bedside manner but the title made me think something was really wrong.

mzmcg · December 2014

I agree that the title of this post had me thinking something was wrong with the baby, but seriously... She had a "horrible" visit in her opinion, and some of you need to loosen up a bit..... in other words, is it really that serious?

lakingsfan2015 · December 2014

sugar4bri said:

Ditto what others have said. I went to my a/s today and found out one of my babies has a calcium deposit on it's heart. While it's most likely nothing serious, your title would have been more appropriate for something like that, not that the doc had lousy bedside manners.

@sugar4bri I hope all is well. Baby B has a spot on her heart, he didn't go in to much detail since we were in panic mode about the cervix. Is your doctor ordering an echo ultrasound?

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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loloyoyo26 · December 2014

Ok, so my first curious thought as I read was that it comes a across as if the scan had started, so goo on you abdomen when you asked about your sister coming in. If so, why didn't you ask if she could come in before the scan began or as you were being taken to the room?
I agree that maybe your Dr. could have been more patient, though, but can also see where maybe this wasn't the first time he/she felt that someone has made "light" of something this important. My doctor's office apparently had to develop a policy about family/friends of the patients filming/taking pictures during ultrasounds that interfered with care, for instance.

tinalovescauliflower · December 2014

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. But a "horrible" scan is when you find out your baby is not developing properly. Or when you find out that your baby has died. So thank you for changing the title. No one has said they think doctors should be rude. But we are asking for a little more sensitivity from you.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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Alliinwonderland · December 2014

I disagree with a lot of these comments.. Patients in all situations should be treated with curtesy and respect. The doctor has most likely been around long enough to understand the difference between what seeing your baby means to the patient versus the health care worker and be respectful of the patient and her family. Every minute of your pregnancy is a new experience and you deserve the best you can possibly have.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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LexiSophie55 · December 2014

laurenn217 said:

I also am sitting here feeling more hurt than I did before. Just because there is nothing wrong with my baby doesn't mean I don't have feelings. dr was rude for no reason and just because my problems aren't as bad as yours doesn't mean what I posted didn't effect me

Guess what? I am also sitting here feeling more hurt than I did before I opened this - so can we just agree to disagree and move on?

You should be over the top excited that you didn't find out your baby has a life threatening condition - and that your baby is healthy. Can you be slightly disappointed, yes, but that should be overshadowed by the joy of a great anatomy scan. Your first thought should not be about you...it should be about your baby. IMO I guess.

Take it from someone who has laid there while they bring in other doctors, only to be told that they have no idea what is wrong, but the heart didn't form correctly. Tomorrow is my scan for this pregnancy and I've cried every day this week about it because I am so scared.

Please look at the positive of your scan...there is a lot to be happy about....

NanSee3 · December 2014

I'm pregnant with our third child and have had extra scans with each pregnancy due to being high risk. All that to say, I have never encountered the unfriendly staff that you evidently did. I'm surprised at the mob like mentality on here. Jeesh. I'm sorry that you encountered "attitude" both at your appointment and on a support board.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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kac22 · December 2014

If the doctor was really that rude maybe you should look into changing doctors?

That being said, as PPers have said, the a/s is a serious medical procedure and I'm sure the doctor was irritated at what he might have taken as you treating this as some boutique "experience" when it all reality he has a job to do, make sure baby looks good and healthy.

LimaD · December 2014

laurenn217 said:

And how about a little sensitivity on your part. I'm aware I don't have it bad but when someone is feeling hurt about something that happened in the scan. And your first response is to criticize me for improperly wording my post you're being judgemental My dr was rude period that's what my post was about it wasn't about being ungrateful my baby's healthy and it definitely wasn't to make anyone else feel bad like most of the posts on here

OMG how many times do people have to agree that your doctor was rude?!
We just ALSO said your title was misleading and insensitive. You changed it, thanks. But stop playing the victim

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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Unknown · December 2014

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[Deleted User] · December 2014

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Poppy715 · December 2014

laurenn217 said:

sugar4bri said:

laurenn217 said:
And how about a little sensitivity on your part. I'm aware I don't have it bad but when someone is feeling hurt about something that happened in the scan. And your first response is to criticize me for improperly wording my post you're being judgemental My dr was rude period that's what my post was about it wasn't about being ungrateful my baby's healthy and it definitely wasn't to make anyone else feel bad like most of the posts on here

Who are you talking to? The quote button is you friend.

And if your post was just about a rude doctor, THAT should have been the original title.
So I made a mistake and hat gives everyone the right to attack me?

No one is attacking you. Your drs bedside manner was less than desirable. Your appt was not horrible. I think you need to grow a thicker skin, put on your big girl panties and think about what he said and what we are saying.

Lots of us have had bad appointments. We feel you are exaggerating the situation by saying your whole appointment was horrible. That's dramatic. Your baby was healthy. That's a great a great appointment with a rude doctor. All he was doing was he job. Ultrasounds are not for show and tell. They are to check on the health of your baby and your doctor felt your actions interfered with that, his job and entire reason for being there.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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JustMoiAgain · December 2014

laurenn217 said:

I'm not playing the victim but I have feeling just like all of you like you all know I'm pregnant and I don't have it as bad as some of you but I am sitting here feeling attacked and hurt and crying just because I made a mistake with the title it doesn't make me a bad person.

I am sorry your experience was less than stellar and thank you for changing the title, but...........you have to realize that beyond the title, your lack of providing details on HOW the scan went may have also triggered a lot of ladies who have had everything from minor to absolutely terrifying obstacles surface. We are all sensitive as to WHY the anatomy scan is important, due to personal and BMB experiences that have not been 100% positive......ETA - Kant tipe

Poppy715 · December 2014

Every single one of us is mean? You don't think you are over reacting at all?

LexiSophie55 · December 2014

Thanks OP - somehow you have made me go from crying to laughing.

PrimRoseMama · December 2014

#lurking...

I don't think you are a bad person. I do think you are taking your doctor's (very sage & practical) comments too personally, though.

I'm sorry if the doctor didn't give you the appropriate amount of hand-holding & warm fuzzies that you desired. Nothing he said sounded cold or unfeeling. It's obvious you took it that way, but that doesn't make him a bad doctor. It might make him not compatible for you.

Truthfully, the A/S is a medical procedure. Yes, it's exciting to see baby, but it's not a spectator sport for a third party (your sister) other than the parents. The sex organ evaluation is just part of the package.

If you want a warm, fuzzy & magical experience then you might want to go to a boutique to get your touchy-feely experience. It's not wrong to have that desire & you aren't a bad person for wanting something like that. It's just your expectations were all wrong for this & so your feelings got hurt. Live, learn & move forward.

Also, no one is attacking you here. It is a good idea for you to realize that a very matter-of-fact doctor truly isn't the end of the world when it comes to scans. Perspective, dear. That's it. Please don't flip out & pull the poor-pitiful-crying pg lady thing. It doesn't help.

I'm sorry you are sad, but schedule at a boutique & gush to your hearts content. Time & place!

Also, just to warn you: please realize your labor & birth experience is not necessarily going to be rainbows & warm fuzzies either. Your medical professionals are there to get your baby here safely. So, they might be all business & that's their job. If you want warm & fuzzy make sure your partner & support staff (maybe a doula?) understand what you want/need to be emotionally fulfilled, but your doctor is usually there to just catch the baby & jet.

Wishing you the best.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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[Deleted User] · December 2014

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JustMoiAgain · December 2014

laurenn217 said:

STOP. Go to bed.
Why don't you?

Neener neener level reached......sigh.....

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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PrimRoseMama · December 2014

laurenn217 said:

sugar4bri said:

laurenn217 said:
I'm not dragging this on I just wanted to know if anyone had bad experiences with drs period I didn't claim my situation more dyer than som
orangepickle said:

laurenn217 said:

I'm not playing the victim but I have feeling just like all of you like you all know I'm pregnant and I don't have it as bad as some of you but I am sitting here feeling attacked and hurt and crying just because I made a mistake with the title it doesn't make me a bad person.

Again, just like you put words in your doctor's mouth by trying to say he didn't want you to be excited to see your baby, you're now putting words in our mouths because not a single person here said you were a bad person. Just move on - both from the doctor's appointment and this thread
It's what's implied when you call someone insensitive and other things. You have no idea what my dr said all of you are plain mean. I'm done defending myself to people keen on misunderstanding

Not sure what we are all misunderstanding? It was a bunch of us who agreed your doctor was kind of rude. Isn't that what this whole thread was about? Am I wrong?

Yes and maybe there were a hand full of you who agreed she was rude but most didn't. Just because they think I'm dramatic or insensitive I'm glad the person under me finds it super funny that I'm hurt. But even my actual on apologized to me for her rudeness and so did the tech I'm still wondering why everyone thinks they know what happened between us better then me.

Girl, it's not something to get so twisted about. Really, calm down.

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