PP Sex Thread

lizgrace03 · December 2014

Have we had this thread? Have you tried to do the deed yet and if so how did it go? DH has been very interested in rekindling things. I'm scared. STMs- any tips? Also, what are you doing for birth control?

MuchlyGen · December 2014

Go slow, use lube, communicate! Srsly, be up front honest that you are feeling nervous so that he is on the same page with a slow gentle reintroduction instead a passionate wild throw down, lol.

kfo22 · December 2014

Lol this is so far out of my radar. But I have been researching the "Fertility Awareness Method," which might be tricky to start, but I'm looking forward to understanding wth my body does. I've always been outrageously irregular.

CarrieAnne09 · December 2014

I can't believe I have 2.5 more weeks to go. I had a c section so I'm still pretty sore and not ready for that. But I miss good sex. Lol. I'm pretty sure around July or August it became a chore rather than enjoyment.

missnacholover · December 2014

We have a couple of times. I had a C-section and it still wasn't super comfortable. We used lots of lube and went slow.

I still haven't really been "in the mood".

We're using condoms for now. Once I'm done pumping, I'll go back on the pill until we're ready to try again. After kid 2, I'll probably get my tubes tied, as I'm assuming it'll be a RCS.

aeseager · December 2014

My LO is only 2.5 weeks old, but do I really have to wait 6 weeks. I think in the next week or so I would be up for giving it a try. We would use a condom, not quite ready to be pregnant again.

soulcupcake · December 2014

I'm all good down there. I felt pretty normal down below since the early days, but I didn't have any tearing.

I just don't have a sex drive at the moment and don't feel up to bumpin' uglies until I begin to feel normal and not so beat down from the anemia. :blech:

But, PP sex has never been an issue; however, PP sex didn't happen for months with others because my ex-husband didn't return home from deployment until dd1 and ds2 were 3-4 months old. And my horrible PPD meant no sex for 6 months after dd2. We did, however, get back into action before the six mark after I had ds1. No issues.

lizzielu82 · December 2014

I go to my appointment tomorrow - I have an irrational fear that things are strange down there now. I plan to get an IUD but know they most likely won't do that in tomorrow's appointment. Really not looking forward to condoms!

Ineedmorecoffee · December 2014

Stalking this thread since I still have a few weeks to go until I can have sex. I didn't have any tears and feel pretty good down there, so I've been missing/wanting sex a lot lately. Hope it feels the same.

MmmPopcorn · December 2014

kfo22 said:

Lol this is so far out of my radar. But I have been researching the "Fertility Awareness Method," which might be tricky to start, but I'm looking forward to understanding wth my body does. I've always been outrageously irregular.

I highly recommend FAM! Grab a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Also, I love the FertilityFriend app. We haven't sexed yet, but we'll be using condoms for a few months until my cycles sort themselves out.

smboswell1 · December 2014

Parker and I might try this weekend... 6 weeks tomorrow! I'm very nervous, but want to do it!

ssstephanie214 · December 2014

MmmPopcorn said:

kfo22 said:

Lol this is so far out of my radar. But I have been researching the "Fertility Awareness Method," which might be tricky to start, but I'm looking forward to understanding wth my body does. I've always been outrageously irregular.

I highly recommend FAM! Grab a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Also, I love the FertilityFriend app. We haven't sexed yet, but we'll be using condoms for a few months until my cycles sort themselves out.

Uhhh an FAM miscalculation was how I got pregnant

belmont1785 · December 2014

I have a pretty high drive, so I caved at 3 weeks pp (I'm almost at 6 weeks pp now). We are using condoms but I cannot WAIT to get my IUD because I hate those things almost more then he does.
My husband claims it feels way different for him, but it doesn't really for me (just different because I'm not used to using condoms- ugh) My Dr told me they actually can insert the IUD right away after you give birth, but they have a much higher chance of falling out. I hope I have as much success with my next IUD as I did my first (I had no period or anything for the full 5 years I had mine.)

Disclaimer- I had a very quick delivery with no major tearing or stitches so I have healed down there very quickly too.

Carebella · December 2014

DH has quite literally been counting the weeks since a few days after LO arrived. I'm... not so eager. His excitement to resume feels like a lot of pressure. And with the while being pregnant, giving birth, and breastfeeding in not exactly feeling sexual. And the whole boobs, breastmilk and sex thing? Seems weird... thankfully I have until at least the 31st to see if I can get in the mood.

Maelara · December 2014

We've DTD twice. It hurt each time and I had a csection. I'm still avoiding it as much as possible. It didn't hurt so much that I will avoid it, I'm just not into it. I'm pretty sure I've got some good PPD going on, my incision is infected (not badly, just a little red), I'm exhausted and don't feel like I'm getting enough support from my husband. Maybe if he wasn't at work so much and more supportive I would give it out more.

smboswell1 · December 2014

ssstephanie214 said:

MmmPopcorn said:

kfo22 said:

Lol this is so far out of my radar. But I have been researching the "Fertility Awareness Method," which might be tricky to start, but I'm looking forward to understanding wth my body does. I've always been outrageously irregular.

I highly recommend FAM! Grab a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Also, I love the FertilityFriend app. We haven't sexed yet, but we'll be using condoms for a few months until my cycles sort themselves out.

Uhhh an FAM miscalculation was how I got pregnant

Same! I was so great at tracking. Parker and I would avoid sex while I was fertile.

kfo22 · December 2014

MmmPopcorn said:

kfo22 said:

Lol this is so far out of my radar. But I have been researching the "Fertility Awareness Method," which might be tricky to start, but I'm looking forward to understanding wth my body does. I've always been outrageously irregular.

I highly recommend FAM! Grab a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Also, I love the FertilityFriend app. We haven't sexed yet, but we'll be using condoms for a few months until my cycles sort themselves out.

Cool, is that what you were practicing while TTC? That's the book I read.

I was planning on using the handwritten charts in there.

oklahomamom09 · December 2014

I still have 4 weeks until I'm cleared by the dr. I had a 3rd degree tear and they had to cut my wall (not sure if it was my cervix or what) and I'm just now starting to feel normal down there lol

FI has been wanting to basically since we got home but knows we can't. A few days before I delivered I was offering like every two seconds cause I wanted to induce labor and he turned me down.. I keep telling him this is what he gets for saying no to me

But I've been wanting to for a few days now, I think it would help my irritableness, but I'm defiantly not doing anything til I'm cleared by the dr. Don't want to mess up anything down there more than LO did.

mamatohne · December 2014

I had my 6 week pp check today and had an iud placed. Dh was pretty thrilled to get home and dtd but I'm having terrible cramping and lots of bleeding. So we will wait a few days. I wish I didn't care to make him happy because I'd wait another 6 weeks (or months).

lovingaddi · December 2014

I had my second 4th degree tear & assumed recovery would be awful like it was the first time around. With DD1 I had pain 6m+ pp when we had sex & it wasn't enjoyable until well past the 1 year mark. This time I had very little pain at all, surprisingly! I think my tear was "cleaner" this time vs the first which made a world of difference. I was nervous but def ready to DTD. We tried a few nights ago (4.5 weeks pp) & things went smoothly. Definitely communicate, lubricate, take your time, & relax.

lizzielu82 · December 2014

Sorry @Maelara‌ that sucks. Can you talk to him about it? Maybe a weekly check-in to talk about what's working and not working? I say no fun in the shower until he's more supportive!

MuchlyGen · December 2014

kfo22 said:
Lol this is so far out of my radar. But I have been researching the "Fertility Awareness Method," which might be tricky to start, but I'm looking forward to understanding wth my body does. I've always been outrageously irregular.

"Taking Charge of Your Fertility" is an awesome book, totally great. FAM was effective birth control for us, and we conceived DS1 and DS2 on our first tries. This LO happened because I was an idiot and effed up my dates, whoops, but if you keep proper track on a chart instead if just vaguely keeping track in your head it is really effective. I got lazy. No regrets!

kjmommy1214 · December 2014

I was cleared at 4 weeks. We have dtd quite a few times. It helps us both feel normal. It didn't hurt for me and DH never mentioned a difference. We just made sure to use lube the first couple times.

For now we are using condoms, DH will be able to turn in his cup sample soon. Yay for his vasectomy!

Maelara · December 2014

lizzielu82 said:

Sorry @Maelara‌ that sucks. Can you talk to him about it? Maybe a weekly check-in to talk about what's working and not working? I say no fun in the shower until he's more supportive!

I've talked to him so many times, I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. I honestly don't know if its him or my PPD. Probably a bit of both.

Ineedmorecoffee · December 2014

@Maelara‌ ugh I hope he steps up his game soon. I know I also feel more depressed when my things aren't super great with my husband.

lizzielu82 · December 2014

Maelara said:

lizzielu82 said:

Sorry @Maelara‌ that sucks. Can you talk to him about it? Maybe a weekly check-in to talk about what's working and not working? I say no fun in the shower until he's more supportive!

I've talked to him so many times, I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. I honestly don't know if its him or my PPD. Probably a bit of both.

That sounds really frustrating and you deserve lots of support. Especially if you are working through PPD. Maybe he can take you out for a date night and the break for both of you will be good and help him remember how wonderful you are and that he should be doing more for you. Either way, hugs and I'm sorry it's hard right now. xo

Maelara · December 2014

@Ineedmorecoffee‌ and @lizzielu82‌ thank you for your kind words

I feel like I have so much on my plate right now and I'm extremely overwhelmed. It will get better, I remember that much from last time. The newborn stage is hard and not just because of the newborn!

Good luck to everyone that wants to DTD soon. It hurts a bit in the beginning but gets less and less painful the more you do it. Make sure you take it slow and communicate. If you need your husband to stop, make sure he does. You can always get creative and do other things

AnnieRoo13 · December 2014

Am I the only one still bleeding? I'm 5 weeks pp and still have stop and start bleeding so until that's over there noooo sexy time going on.

DH is chomping at the bit a little as- quite literally- we haven't had sex since I got pregnant. My OB couldn't see me until January 21, which is like 9 weeks pp so I am going to use that as an excuse even though I feel pretty good, huge episiotomy and all.

torontokim · December 2014

We caved & did it a couple days ago (4wks pp). I had 1st degree tears but stopped bleeding week 2. I was nervous but agree with others--lots of lube! We had to try a couple positions to make it comfortable but I will say I was surprised how enjoyable it was considering I was nervous about pain. I have my 6 week check up next week.

rinaealy · December 2014

@shaddox16‌ once you get on the estrogen only pills and you are breastfeeding doesn't mean you will get ur period with DD I didn't get my period while taking the pill till I completely stopped breastfeeding.

My DH can't wait till I give him the green light to do it to me lol. I didn't tear but since we get pregnant by him just looking at me lol I want to be very cautious till the BC start working.

acholb · December 2014

We DTD at 2 weeks pp. I felt fine and my DH was more attracted to me then ever. He wasn't a fan of sex during pregnancy but he got his drive back for sure! But I hate condoms, so we haven't done any birth control. It took us three years to get pregnant and my sister (my best friend) is having big fertility issues. And I honestly almost feel guilty to try to prevent right now when we want a second and my sister would love to be able to have a child. I realize how having a baby is a miracle and I feel weird about preventing a miracle..., it's weird I know. I would hate to go back on the pill and then get off the pill and it takes another 3 yrs after that. I guess I could do FAM. Which is how we conceived. Do I start temping now even though I'm nursing?

BridgetThoams · December 2014

I also caved around the 3 week mark, i have my 6 wk check this Friday. We are using condoms and lots of lube for now. I'm way to terrified to get pregnant again so soon to trust us to use the pull out method. It didn't hurt but definately uncomfortable the first time. H was sweet and kept asking if I was ok and if certain positions worked better for me, also said I was in control. Communication is big. It's totally like the first time all over again

kfo22 · December 2014

@acholb "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" included instructions for nursing moms. I believe, once your bleeding stops, you monitor your cervical fluid until you notice a change (fertile fluid). Then you can start fully charting again.

lizgrace03 · December 2014

Apparently there is one birth control pill that is OK while breastfeeding so I'm taking that. I start Sunday. I think I will give it about a week after that and then we'll see how things go!! For those you that have DTD, do you do it when LO is sleeping I assume? I guess I'm so preoccupied with him I feel like I'd find it hard to concentrate or be in the moment with DH.

JamieK1882 · December 2014

@AnnieRoo13‌ 5 weeks pp and still bleeding consistently. Not a ton, but enough to not even consider any sexy time yet.

jessa1228 · December 2014

@AnnieRoo13 I'll be 6 weeks PP on Friday and I'm still spotting. I'm actually starting to suspect that I may have an infection, or that my tears aren't healing right (I had multiple 2nd and 3rd degree tears). I'm still a little sore and just feel disgusting down there. My appt is on Tuesday so we'll see. H has been chomping at the bit for sexy time so I've been trying to take care of him in other ways, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Also, re: FAM - YES. I can't recommend FertilityFriend enough. Pretty much everything I know I learned from lurking on the TTGP board for a year.

jac409 · December 2014

I had my six week check up this morning and apparently I am not completely healed, so he told me to give it a couple more weeks. I really don't care to be honest, but DH isn't pleased. I am more upset about not being able to go back to the gym yet. My priorities are probably all wrong!

MissN06 · December 2014

@lovebuggies1 my tape is still on but starting to peel. I go to the ob thursday and figure I'll ask him about it then.

Cici3913 · December 2014

@lovebuggies1‌ my doctor told me I could take my tape off after a week

Cici3913 · December 2014

I had a c section and did not expect it to be painful, but it was at first. We used condoms until I started the mini pill.

KMW08 · December 2014

smboswell1 said:

ssstephanie214 said:

MmmPopcorn said:

kfo22 said:
Lol this is so far out of my radar. But I have been researching the "Fertility Awareness Method," which might be tricky to start, but I'm looking forward to understanding wth my body does. I've always been outrageously irregular.
I highly recommend FAM! Grab a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Also, I love the FertilityFriend app. We haven't sexed yet, but we'll be using condoms for a few months until my cycles sort themselves out.
Uhhh an FAM miscalculation was how I got pregnant
Same! I was so great at tracking. Parker and I would avoid sex while I was fertile.

----endquotes-----
@kfo22‌ I would use the FertilityFriend App instead on the hand charts, so much more convenient.

FertilityFriend.com (FF) is awesome. ttgp & ttcal both highly encourage it and the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility (TCOYF).

I want to echo the ladies who said they were doing FAM or natural planning and got pregnant....it's not 100% perfect for anybody. The common saying on ttcal is "you're regular until you're not." Im prime example, I was trying to get pregnant but I had a ridiculous cycle with this LO. Ovulated on day 32 instead of my normal day19-22.

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