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July 2015 Moms
Advice for first timers
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Advice for first timers
Also, immediately after birth, they put my baby on my chest to see her, and it absolutely took my breath away! I didn't want to touch her for fear that I'd break her or st. Be prepared to love this little thing more than you can imagine and have your world rocked!! It's so beautiful
Then came a miscarriage March '11
Then came a baby in the baby carriage May 16, 12
Waiting on our second little peanut!
There is nothing wrong with breast feeding or formula feeding. I got comments from both sides and it was really aggravating.
Your baby will go at its own pace and you might hear comments like my baby did this by blah blah months or something. Thankfully I didn't hear that but my friend did from her family.
It's okay to cry and take a break, those breaks and crying can help.
Whatever delivery happens whether you have a c-section, natural, etc...there is no wrong way and don't make anybody make you feel like if you don't go natural you are horrible.
If you had a bad feeling or feel something is wrong it's okay to call the nurse or doctor.
Take all the stuff they give you at the hospital, pads..tuck pads, spray bottle, etc.
Be prepared for teething, I cannot say this enough lol. My dd got all her teeth super early and different things were lifesavers. Like in the early month teething toys, cold rag. One time when she was getting like 4 at a time I gave her some Tylenol when she was older and it helped a lot.
This is from my experience, I didn't want to feed solids super early but I would get comments from certain family members to give her things when she was like 3 months old. They would then go on a rant about my child did this blah blah blah.
It's okay to give a baby a pacifier.
Research strollers, car seats, etc.
And also you can take your car seat to a fire station or police department and they can check to see if it's inserted properly.
Try not to compare your newborn experience to others. If people go on and on about why something your child does is different just respond " Ohh I wasn't aware all babies are identical and they make one handbook to cover it all." Your the mama now trust in yourself and your abilities.
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
Before going into labor, at least do a little research and prepping for "anything". Anything can happen in labor, an epidural can not work or you can not get to the hospital in time, you can think you don't want an epidural and change your mind, you can need an emergency c-section. At least think through how you would want those situations to play out and have someone in the room know how you want those things handled (or use a birth preference/plan).
If you can, have freezer meals ready for when baby arrives. Some people find it easiest to spend a whole day doing lots of cooking. I find it easiest to make double batches of food and freeze the second batch. Most food freezes pretty well, but do some research on pinterest for some ideas and tips/tricks.
Take lots of pictures, even at the hospital. Even if you haven't showered yet and are exhausted. The first year goes by SO FAST.
Breastfeeding is hard at first, but it gets better. kellymom.com is a great resource, as well as Le Leche. Some hospitals have a lactation consultant on hand, if yours does, use them.
Lastly, learn to just take everything with a grain of salt. Everyone has an opinion about how to parent and will tell you because if it worked for them, it will work for everyone (eyeroll). Smile and nod, then do your own research, talk to YH/partner and decide what's best for your own family.
BFP #5 11/15/14, Team Green EDD 7/22/15
BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014
BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)
BFP #2 9/23/10, healthy baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10
"Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just take another shot."
1.) ASK FOR HELP. You're not superhuman and asking for help when necessary doesn't make you weak or a "bad mom". I struggled with this A LOT and I wish that I would have allowed more people to help! I ran myself ragged and to the point of exhaustion before I realized that I simply could not do it all. It's critical to remember that babies can sense what moms are feeling so take care of yourself.
2.) Get your husband/fiance/bf involved early on! Guys are pretty clueless and obviously don't have that automatic bond. Include them. Give them tasks to assist with. They will want to help, but they just won't know how.
2. Although breast feeding is hard and is a learned behavior (both momma and baby have to learn at first) more often than not you can achieve a satisfying breast feeding experience, no matter what that looks like for you - EBF, supplementing, pumping, whatever.
Get yourself a lactation consultant you trust and believe in. Just like any medical professional you'll click with some and not others. Start looking around while you're still pregs, most lactation support groups welcome pregnant mommas. Most insurances cover lactation services. I paid for 3 one on one visits with my first and 4 one hour visits with my second. It's an ongoing learning process for me!
3. Sometimes connecting with your baby takes a while. I think my son, who I love and cherish more than the air I breath, was about 2 months old before I finally stopped wondering, who's kid is this? If it doesn't happen as soon as they pop out it says nothing about you as a person or the type of mother you will be. I also regretted his name on occasion for almost 6 months but that's another story. I love it now and it fits him perfectly. I don't know why I questioned it.
I just want to second all of this. If you supplement early on, or if you supplement for a not medically indicated reason (like so you can skip a feeding to sleep), there is a strong possibility you will never achieve a full supply because of the way supply and demand works. Pumping to increase your supply is in no way as effective as time at the breast.
Before you start having problems, ask for help. Ask for help from multiple sources because guess what? Not every lactation professional is equal. Some are crap. Some have had crappy training. Or no training! Some have limited experience. Some only got the certification because their employer needed them to. Of course, some are amazing and knowledgable and oh so helpful. Just get help from multiple people.
Breastfeeding should never ever be painful. If it is, something is wrong and ask for help right away. Don't wait!
Don't expect to do ANYTHING those first few weeks except feed the baby. That's your only job. Change a diaper if you are home alone, but try and get someone else to do that.
Also, like half of my previous post got cut off and I'm too lazy to try and remember what I wrote. Sorry. It seemed important but I guess not. Haha.
Also, like half of my previous post got cut off and I'm too lazy to try and remember what I wrote. Sorry. It seemed important but I guess not. Haha.
But just in case there's anyone in the world like me, or more importantly, some ladies out there without a support group around them, my husband and I did it without help with baby or housework or anything.
Because I didn't have a lot of confidence, this also gave me that extra bit that I needed to feel that I could be a mum. (Also when I did have people over it meant I had to put on clothes)
So just saying, don't freak out if you don't have the support because you can still do it!
And if you're like me and would be more stressed to have people help than to go without, don't be afraid to say no thank you sometimes as well.
Edit: This was for the first few months for me. After that there were many times we used one of our many siblings or parents as baby sitters to have a meal by ourselves together!
My little goofball born 1/2012
My little goofball born 1/2012
My little goofball born 1/2012