Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
rade
member
Re: Unique Names! Help!
BFP-7/15/14, CP-7/27/14
BFP-10/25/14, EDD-6/23/15 7/6/15
Just remember, your taste is your taste and you get to pick the name. I hope you find something!
J15 January Siggy Challenge: Pinterest Fails
Married: 12/08/12
BFP: 09/21/14
EDD: 06/04/15
~*~ book nerd forever | Tar Heel '07 ~*~
BFP-7/15/14, CP-7/27/14
BFP-10/25/14, EDD-6/23/15 7/6/15
I hope for your daughter's sake you don't follow suit. Give her the same respect you would give your son - a strong, non-made up name that shows she is just as worthy of being taken seriously as her male counterparts.
https://www.businessinsider.com/how-your-name-affects-your-success-2014-8
(Note: I plan on pulling this one out when my husband makes all his super hard to pronounce/spell Gaelic name suggestions.)
Me (31) Him (31)
Married: 5/2013
CP: 9/18/14 (4w:4d)
BFP: 10/16/14 EDD: 6/21/15
June 2015 January Signature Challenge: Pinterest Fails
I don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging that people of different groups (not just racial, but religious, socioeconomic, etc.) tend toward different kinds of names, and ones that don't represent what the majority choose are not looked on as legitimate. IMO this is just another example of the group that's in power deciding the "rules." Made up names are stupid. Don't veer from the traditional spelling. The kid has to have the father's last name. Whatever it is, there's no reason that "we" feel this way aside from some sense of tradition and "knowing what's right." If things were different, there would be no problem with interesting, made-up, unique names or names like Cinnamon or Diamond. Really, explain the difference between Diamond and Ruby (or Pearl, Opal, Amber . . .). Why is one OK and one not? (The Ny'Eve one confuses me because "naive" generally doesn't have good connotations, I'll admit that straight away). I'll also admit that I, being from the dominant group, do plan on sticking to the "rules," although the last name thing gets to me, I won't deny that.
OP, if I were in your shoes, I would consider looking at some black women from history and choosing to honor someone that's worked in a field or fought for things you value. You might find a perfect mix of a rare, beautiful, name with a great story behind it that represents you and your family's various cultures. "Sojourner" might be a little too far out there, but you get the picture! Good luck, I'm realizing naming humans is serious business!
Guess where I've lived on and off for the last 4 years?
The fucking CONGO. It doesn't get much more black than the Congo.
You know what parents don't name their children there? Made up nonsense that can't even be pronounced phonetically by the rules of ANY language.
Kids there were named things like Moses, Bakitha, Mary, Esperance, Kindu, Blessing, Beatrice, Peter, JeanPaul, etc. No wacky made up shit.
So fuck off with the "white people" thing... for crying out loud.
Not popular in the US, but at least they are actual words.
I'm not a Rachel, but I personally love the name! It must be because I'm a white boring Amanda.
It is a real word, that is true, but so are Cinnamon and Diamond, that's all I'm saying. There's something going on with people deciding which words are OK to use and which aren't and then telling other people that their new word-names don't cut it.
Also, there's obviously a huge difference between Congolese people living in the Congo and African Americans living in the US. It doesn't really make any sense to say that black people in Africa don't name their kids the same way that black people in the US do. Tell me you wouldn't side-eye the parents that name their little white American girl Blessing. OK, maybe you wouldn't because you've heard it a lot, but maybe . . . I don't know, Miracle? Hallelujah? Hymn?
I just think it's pretty ridiculous to pretend that there's not a racial/cultural slant to the whole topic of "legitimate" names, or to pretend that the OP's comment about white people not being tolerant of made up names that black people sometimes use isn't accurate. You can get mad at someone for playing the "race card" if you want, but I don't see why admitting it in the open makes people so uncomfortable. Totally not directing this mini-rant just at you, @Trampslikeus, but I guess I feel pretty strongly about it!
I have seen this multiple times on multiple threads and yet have JUST figured it out...hangs head in shame...
LXF 8-25-10, XCF 1-14-14, Baby C EDD 6-16-15
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By my example I mean this is NOT a "black" vs "white" thing, because outside of the US, thats not a thing.
So to be all "uhhhg white people" instead of "uhhg everyone who isn't part of ONE specific North American Subculture" is pulling the race card, I think. I mean, white people invent names too, they just throw random Y's all over the place.
But then we're getting way too serious about a silly topic.
TTC #1 8/2012~Chronic Pelvic Pain Condition began 10/2012~Told I was crazy by many doctors until a good specialist DXed a labral tear and bone impingement in left hip 4/2013~Surgery on left hip: 5/31/13 SUCCESS!!! Pain flares to continue indefinitely (but mostly gone).
Resumed TTC 6/2013~Chronic stomach pain and distension: 8/2013~TTA 1/2014 Until Resolved ~7/2014: Trip to the Mayo Clinic--SUCCESS!! Finally on the road to getting better.
Resumed TTC 7/2014! Third time's the charm....8/2014 Visited the RE~DX: MFI/low morph~Straight to IVF with ICSI! 9/2014~Transferred 1 perfect beautiful 6AA blast with 10 to freeze!!!~10/8/2014: BFP!!!! EDD: 6/17/15 STICK LITTLE BEAN!!! IT'S A BOY!!!!!