Not enjoying it

topaz7777 · December 2014

I hate being pregnant. Despite trying very hard to get this way, it's really because I wanted another child and not because I wanted to enjoy another 9 months of misery. I also tend to avoid social events and haven't taken any pictures because I just keep thinking one day I'll have forgotten any of this ever happened anyway. I just try to be positive about what I can. I'm one day closer to that bottle of wine I want. One day the babies will be here and we won't have to feel like this. I'm definitely looking forward to that.

jlworden710 · December 2014

wlukeman said:

Am I the only one that just doesn't enjoy being pregnant? I have no friends to talk to about this because to them it's the most awesome thing ever and they loved every minute of it. Whereas me, I just can't wait for it to be over! I hate being pregnant. My body isn't my own. My back and hips are killing me. Nothing fits. I refuse to go to hubby's work Christmas party this weekend because I look horrible in every dress I own and refuse to go Shopping for another. I just want to sleep instead of feeling uncomfortable 24/7. I feel like a not so nice person but these next 16 weeks will not go fast enough for me.

I am not saying anything new here, but to add my 2 cents, here are my answers to the bolded...

1. No, you are not the only one that doesnt enjoy being pregnant... it is NOT the most comfortable, enjoyable, "best time ever"... it hurts, its exhausting, its a huge change.

2. maybe don't play the pain olympics and turn down good ideas from people here and you will find you have friends here...

3. Your body is not your own... you are sharing it... with your child, and yes, your hips hurt... there is a human being growing and kicking... and yes with all that baby growing you too are going to grow which in turn will change how clothes fit... oh the joys of science...

4. If you "refuse" to go shopping that is your own problem... I love shopping and getting dressed up especially during this time... but hey, guess that is just me.

I could have gone on, by I opted to just stop there... Seriously OP, you are not the only one, I am in pain, I am exhausted both emotionally and physically... See I have had hell the last year trying to make it to this point, and then on top of that this entire pregnancy I have had multiple scares that have sent me to the ER, and 2 times in my 2nd trimester where I thought it was the end....

so no, to answer your question, you are not the only one, I personally do not enjoy this. at all. BUT I am so grateful to be here, grateful to be out growing my clothes, to have to use a heating pad nightly, to be exhausted at the end of the day, to be excited when I finally poop, to eat tums like candy or to know I am going to look different from here on out.

Sorry you are so miserable, go shopping, enjoy a night out with your husband, buy a heating pad, take a bath, take a vacation day and sleep all day. All of the suggestions you have been given are wonderful suggestions, but frankly it seems like you are unwilling to try anything, so honestly, it seems to be your own problem...

::steps off soap box::

court476 · December 2014

Sorry to tell you this sweetie, but it's only gonna get worse. Labor is not fun at all. One of my favorite TV shows of all times said it perfectly

"While some call it the most meaningful experience of your life, to me it was something more akin to doing the splits on a crate of dynamite" -Rory Gilmore

doxiemom415 · December 2014

I feel like pregnancy is what you make it. If you think about it like "OMG everything is so miserable and I hate it so much" then yes, it's going to be terrible. But if you look at it in a sense of "look at what my body is capable of" and really stop and think that some people will NEVER be able to experience what you're going through.. maybe you'll be a little bit more appreciate and tolerant of those aches and pains you're going through. No, it's not sunshine and roses, but you're making a child. I am just as guilty as the next person of complaining from time to time about it, but I would never for a single second spend my time being miserable or wanting sympathy for something that like I said, some people will never get to experience. I guarantee you there's people all around you that would kill to be in your shoes right now, there's people that carry babies for 9 months and never get to meet them or bring them home, people that struggle for years to get pregnant but never do.. I'm sorry to say it, but get over yourself OP. You knew what you were getting into when you got pregnant, and if you didn't, maybe you weren't ready to be pregnant to begin with.

Jason&Christa · December 2014

This againnnn, I understand... I was simply just trying to be a little encouraging to her in a way that wouldn't make her feel worse then what she was already feeling!

somewheresublime86 · December 2014

OP, I empathize. Parts of pregnancy have been really hard on me. Somedays are definitely easier than others. I would move heaven and earth for a glass of red wine right now.

But if you think THIS is tough love, you should be really grateful that you weren't raised by my mom. Her motto is "suck it up" and that's exactly what you should do. You've been given awesome and heartfelt advice. Take it!

Jason&Christa · December 2014

This just validates exactly what I've said in every one of my posts!

jk3610 · December 2014

jessisee said:
Wow! Talk about pregnancy hormones raging. Ladies, a bit more tact in your responses would have been nice. OP, pregnancy has its ups and downs but do your best to be positive. We are more than halfway there so chin up! It'll all be worth it when you get to meet your little one.

She actually got a lot of good advice. So... There's that.

doxiemom415 · December 2014

Jason&Christa said:

This just validates exactly what I've said in every one of my posts!

You do realize that no one has acknowledged you, nor any of your pointless posts, because no one knows who you are. Right? Are you just wanting to argue with someone, or....? And because also, no one can even tell who you're talking to due to your lack of tagging people. (IE: @Jason&Christa )

missab · December 2014

jk3610 said:

jessisee said:
Wow! Talk about pregnancy hormones raging. Ladies, a bit more tact in your responses would have been nice. OP, pregnancy has its ups and downs but do your best to be positive. We are more than halfway there so chin up! It'll all be worth it when you get to meet your little one.
@jessisee‌ - Hi internet stranger. You might try a bit of your own medicine. Telling the amazing ladies here who give amazing advice and thoughtful support day in and day out to have "a bit more tact" is beyond tactless. You clearly have not bothered to lurk here and try to understand the dynamic of the group, but that didn't stop you WK'ing and telling us all we have "raging hormones" and to use a bit more tact. Remind me again who lacks tact in this scenario?

X_X

ktrapani0403 · December 2014

mrsblissed said:
Some women here have gone through hell trying to get pregnant - so no, I'm not about to sympathize with you because you're sad your clothes don't fit.

Well said!! I happen to be one of those who had a very hard time getting pregnant due to serious health issues. So the fact that I was able to is a miracle and I will enjoy all the good with bad, not sit around complaining about what my body is going through.

I'm sorry but I don't have a lot of sympathy for her either as this is her second and she should be happy she can have kids when others cannot.

Tiyasearcy · December 2014

Wow, people are brutal. I believe it's possible to say what you have to say without being nasty about it... Anyways...

I can relate to having those low moments in my pregnancy. My first pregnancy went by super easy, but I had a miscarriage so I was 100% thrilled and greatful to find out I was pregnant again...but this time around I haven't been enjoying my pregnancy very much at all... Just like you. I have been extremely sick and miserable the entire time so far. My body is in pain 95% of the time... Especially when I sleep these days which sucks because everytime I get the chance, I want to sleep. I get depressed sometimes. I just moved to a new town and have zero family and friends around and my husband works out of town 3 weeks out of every month...

Even though all of this makes my pregnancy hard to enjoy I try to take my mind off of being miserable in any healthy way possible like trying to decorate the nursery or just prep the other rooms in my house, and doing small workouts (yes it's miserable to get up and actually do it but after a nice brisk walk your spirits actually feel lifted thanks to those magical endorphins)... And I will admit I've even gone so far to binge on netflix for a weekend... It worked

And if your religious, pray on it. It may help.

So with all of that being said, just try to enjoy what you can to take your mind off of the rough days. Go to that Christmas party. Even if it's just for an hour it may lift your spirits in the slightest. And of course just look at the bright side of being pregnant... You're growing a little piece of perfection inside of you and it won't be much longer until you get to meet it. Everything will be okay!!

doxiemom415 · December 2014

Tiyasearcy said:

Wow, people are brutal. I believe it's possible to say what you have to say without being nasty about it... Anyways... I can relate to having those low moments in my pregnancy. My first pregnancy went by super easy, but I had a miscarriage so I was 100% thrilled and greatful to find out I was pregnant again...but this time around I haven't been enjoying my pregnancy very much at all... Just like you. I have been extremely sick and miserable the entire time so far. My body is in pain 95% of the time... Especially when I sleep these days which sucks because everytime I get the chance, I want to sleep. I get depressed sometimes. I just moved to a new town and have zero family and friends around and my husband works out of town 3 weeks out of every month... Even though all of this makes my pregnancy hard to enjoy I try to take my mind off of being miserable in any healthy way possible like trying to decorate the nursery or just prep the other rooms in my house, and doing small workouts (yes it's miserable to get up and actually do it but after a nice brisk walk your spirits actually feel lifted thanks to those magical endorphins)... And I will admit I've even gone so far to binge on netflix for a weekend... It worked And if your religious, pray on it. It may help. So with all of that being said, just try to enjoy what you can to take your mind off of the rough days. Go to that Christmas party. Even if it's just for an hour it may lift your spirits in the slightest. And of course just look at the bright side of being pregnant... You're growing a little piece of perfection inside of you and it won't be much longer until you get to meet it. Everything will be okay!!

Who are you, again? And what was the point of the passive aggressive shitty jab to start of this response? Oh wait, there wasn't one.. just wanted to stir up shit a little bit. Better luck next time, random fly-by stranger.

arlinar · December 2014

Tiyasearcy said:
Wow, people are brutal. I believe it's possible to say what you have to say without being nasty about it...

It's just a bit of tough love and a reality check. This group doesn't sugarcoat. She stated what was wrong and honest advice was given

SunnyBeachBum · December 2014

doxiemom415 said:

Tiyasearcy said:

Wow, people are brutal. I believe it's possible to say what you have to say without being nasty about it... Anyways... I can relate to having those low moments in my pregnancy. My first pregnancy went by super easy, but I had a miscarriage so I was 100% thrilled and greatful to find out I was pregnant again...but this time around I haven't been enjoying my pregnancy very much at all... Just like you. I have been extremely sick and miserable the entire time so far. My body is in pain 95% of the time... Especially when I sleep these days which sucks because everytime I get the chance, I want to sleep. I get depressed sometimes. I just moved to a new town and have zero family and friends around and my husband works out of town 3 weeks out of every month... Even though all of this makes my pregnancy hard to enjoy I try to take my mind off of being miserable in any healthy way possible like trying to decorate the nursery or just prep the other rooms in my house, and doing small workouts (yes it's miserable to get up and actually do it but after a nice brisk walk your spirits actually feel lifted thanks to those magical endorphins)... And I will admit I've even gone so far to binge on netflix for a weekend... It worked And if your religious, pray on it. It may help. So with all of that being said, just try to enjoy what you can to take your mind off of the rough days. Go to that Christmas party. Even if it's just for an hour it may lift your spirits in the slightest. And of course just look at the bright side of being pregnant... You're growing a little piece of perfection inside of you and it won't be much longer until you get to meet it. Everything will be okay!!

Who are you, again? And what was the point of the passive aggressive shitty jab to start of this response? Oh wait, there wasn't one.. just wanted to stir up shit a little bit. Better luck next time, random fly-by stranger.

^^ This. Since you are just a random WK, I'm sure you don't understand that this is the 100th thread we have received, where the OP posts something and then is upset that people aren't coddling/agreeing with them. I love this group, because they tell it like it is, no sugar coating. If you think we are too 'brutal', you are welcome to go elsewhere. :-h

alisajs · December 2014

I get what the OP meant. I adore being a mom to my 4yo DD and I'm thrilled to be having another....and I'm more than willing to go through whatever pregnancy hands me to have my babies. With that being said, I really don't enjoy being pregnant at all. I'm old (42) and overweight and it's very, very different than being pregnant when you're young and in good shape. So while I try not to bitch too much, I'm counting down the weeks until I'm done. As far as other people struggling, I don't think that negates anyone's feelings. My BFF of over 25 years has struggled horrible with infertility and multiple losses - she is childless not by choice. I try my best to be as sensitive as I can to her situation, so I don't ever complain to her - but my husband gets an earful on some days. I couldn't be more grateful for the blessing of my children, and I couldn't be more looking forward to this pregnancy bring over. Those two things don't have to be mutually exclusive.

thedazie · December 2014

Just wanted to help... I totally understand were you are coming from! I have a two year old and last time I felt so much better about myself and how I looked. This time around the baby is lower and I feel nothing but fat and ugly. I love that I get to have this wonderful baby grow inside me but I just hate how I look. And I am so uncomfortable in all clothes that aren't sweats. So everyone that is putting you down or telling you just to get over it.... Your right but it's hard to do that so be kind. But it's only for a short time and we will go back to being a sexy woman later.

Streed1 · December 2014

Well I will sympathize with you. I know there are a lot of ladies that can't get pregnant or struggle to get pregnant and I did so I feel very fortunate but.... That doesn't mean that someone doesn't have a right to express their feelings!!! Pregnancy is not easy!!

mnharkcom · December 2014

Yes the side effects and symptoms of pregnancy suck. Nobody ever said growing a human being inside of you was going to be easy. Some people handle pregnancy better than others. But just remember it's the biggest miracle ever, so it has to be worked for.

SuperFudge00 · December 2014

Did no one actually read OP's whine about refusing to go shopping while dry-begging for sympathy? WTF with all of the WKs?

My hips hurt, my back hurts, I feel like I can't breathe sometimes and I'm back to multiple mid-night bathroom trips. But guess what? I love that I'm growing an awesome human being inside and completely forget all of my complaints every time my belly moves because he reminds me of what I'm doing this for!

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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Knottie68326698 · December 2014

I'm enjoying pregnancy when I'm by myself or loved one or my mom. Other than that when I'm around anyone else including hunnie's family I completely hate it. The attention we get that articles say we should love doesn't include the annoying personal questions, creepy things they talk about with their pregnancies that I really don't want to hear and most of all, the unwelcomed advice which usually has nothing to do with what's going on with you.

Today, a stranger asked me when I'm due. I noticed lately that naturally when people start asking me I have a funny look on my face only cause I'm worried about what's gonna come out of their mouths next. So, I use that look to my benefit to pretend I'm nervous about having my baby when I'm actually really excited LOL. At least it's a good cover, right! I just can't help it tho when waiting for that next sentence. haha

OneLastRefrain · December 2014

Knottie68326698 said:
Today, a stranger asked me when I'm due. I noticed lately that naturally when people start asking me I have a funny look on my face only cause I'm worried about what's gonna come out of their mouths next. So, I use that look to my benefit to pretend I'm nervous about having my baby when I'm actually really excited LOL. At least it's a good cover, right! I just can't help it tho when waiting for that next sentence. haha

Ha this made me giggle, because when people ask me when I'm due and I say April, they get a little bug-eyed. To me, that means I must look HUGE. Oh, well! ;-)

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