Not enjoying it

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marigold32

I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your body will not be your own for a very, very long time.

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specialsn0wflake

marigold32 said:

I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your body will not be your own for a very, very long time.

Yep. Get used to using the bathroom being a spectator sport, people asking you personal questions are your bodily functions, and several people watching you give birth, just to name a few.

Pregnancy can suck. But it's not the pile of shit you think it is either.

miahbelle

Um... Sorry? Pregnancy isn't easy and moping around, sorry for yourself isn't going to help. I actually suggest going to a maternity store and buying a dress (or other cute outfit) and going to that party. Get out and do something. Buy clothes that fit instead of being upset every time you get dressed (they have clearance sections in the back of motherhood maternity if you can't afford full price). When you sit down because your back hurts, get a drink you really like (hot chocolate, tea, whatever) and a book or watch a show you really like. Take warm-ish baths with nice smelling salt or bubble bath. Sit with ice/heating pad and while you do it look at adorable baby stuff. I'm sorry, but quit acting like a child refusing to do stuff because you aren't happy. You aren't going to make yourself happier by pouting at home while your husband is at a party because you refuse to buy a new dress.

specialsn0wflake

miahbelle said:

Um... Sorry? Pregnancy isn't easy and moping around, sorry for yourself isn't going to help. I actually suggest going to a maternity store and buying a dress (or other cute outfit) and going to that party. Get out and do something. Buy clothes that fit instead of being upset every time you get dressed (they have clearance sections in the back of motherhood maternity if you can't afford full price). When you sit down because your back hurts, get a drink you really like (hot chocolate, tea, whatever) and a book or watch a show you really like. Take warm-ish baths with nice smelling salt or bubble bath. Sit with ice/heating pad and while you do it look at adorable baby stuff. I'm sorry, but quit acting like a child refusing to do stuff because you aren't happy. You aren't going to make yourself happier by pouting at home while your husband is at a party because you refuse to buy a new dress.

I wish I could love tit this a million times. Well said!

marigold32

wlukeman said:

I'm quite aware of that. I have a two year old already. But my body was back to normal after I had my
Son.

Okay. So I can understand being uncomfortable both physically and even mentally (body image). And it's fine to not love being pregnant. Plenty of women don't, including some here. But skipping an event because you can't find something suitable to wear? How fancy is this party? Do you not ever go anywhere that you have to get a little dressed up? I agree that you need to find some clothes that fit, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and celebrate what your body is capable of rather than whining about the temporary "inconvenience" of not being able to wear your skinny clothes.

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miahbelle

wlukeman said:

I own my own business. So no I'm not sitting home moping around all the time. I go out everyday and work.

I know how it works. I have a child already. It's just that this pregnancy seems so much worse than the last.
I thought this was a place where others could sympathize with your versus making you feel
Worse than you already do because you're not enjoying it becauSe with the stress of raising a child and running a business and constantly being uncomfortable.

And it's not about not being able to wear my skinny clothes. I'm not size 6 by any means. Thanks ladies. I feel worse than I did before. I'll go try to get some sleep. Just a stressed out mom needing to vent but clearly no one to help me feel a little better tonight.

My second pregnancy is way harder than my first, with morning sickness twice as bad as my first, back problems I developed while in labor with my first and my own 18 month old running around. I'm sorry it isn't as wonderful as your first, but no one promised it would be. I'm sorry it sucks this time, but tough love is what I'm in the mood for right now. I told you what I would tell a friend if they said the same thing. Make sure you do things to make it more enjoyable. That's all I know to do that will help.

bramage

I do get the having a miserable pregnancy. My son was the easiest most perfect symptom free pregnancy ever. Even delivery and recovery was easy. This one however not so much. Between hormone therapy and stress I'm physically miserable 95% of the time. That being said. I love being pregnant. I am blissfully happy that I have a healthy baby girl growing and thriving and kicking up a storm inside me. I thank God every day for misery. I didn't get to experience in 4 other pregnancies because my baby was taken from me. I'm sorry you feel so miserable I really do. I know how hard it is to just want to look beautiful for your husband but you feel.like a hideous bloated beast. But I'm telling you right now there isn't a man alive that doesn't love seeing his wife growing with his child. Take some.time.for you. Go buy a couple pretty maternity outfits that make you feel like you're a beautiful woman again. Take a few hours and go get a pedicure and just decompress. And please please talk to your dr about these feelings. Depression during pregnancy is a very real thing and can turn dangerous if not taken care of. Best wishes mama, I hope you get out of your funk.

Jason&Christa

People can be so harsh on here! I have HG-I lost 16 pounds at my worst taking Zofran and Reglan around the clock, admitted twice for dehydration, had days were I physically could not get out of bed, and here I am-at week 20+6 still puking in the mornings, down weight from my pre-pregnancy weight, and struggling some days... I can relate with not enjoying every aspect of pregnancy, I would love for anyone who has posted a rude comment to you to go through the past 14 weeks of my life and still say they LOVE being pregnant! I have just learned to focus on the positives throughout it all: like being thankful that my husband and I are able to have a baby on our own, that our baby boy is healthy and growing by the day, that this is temporary and will eventually end,feeling him kick and move all around... Keep your head up momma! Take some time for yourself! Know that you will eventually get your body back and this low point will be worth it in the end when you're holding your little one!

marigold32

For crying out loud. No one said she had to love being pregnant. But we're all outgrowing our clothes here and you're not going to find a whole lot of sympathy because nothing fits and you refuse to find something that does.

miahbelle

angi3o said:

Jason&Christa said:

People can be so harsh on here! I have HG-I lost 16 pounds at my worst taking Zofran and Reglan around the clock, admitted twice for dehydration, had days were I physically could not get out of bed, and here I am-at week 20+6 still puking in the mornings, down weight from my pre-pregnancy weight, and struggling some days... I can relate with not enjoying every aspect of pregnancy, I would love for anyone who has posted a rude comment to you to go through the past 14 weeks of my life and still say they LOVE being pregnant! I have just learned to focus on the positives throughout it all: like being thankful that my husband and I are able to have a baby on our own, that our baby boy is healthy and growing by the day, that this is temporary and will eventually end,feeling him kick and move all around... Keep your head up momma! Take some time for yourself! Know that you will eventually get your body back and this low point will be worth it in the end when you're holding your little one!

Go through what you've been through?! Yes, because no one else has had it rough...

Why on earth do we not have the option for multiple love it's?!

arlinar

Jason&Christa said:

People can be so harsh on here! I have HG-I lost 16 pounds at my worst taking Zofran and Reglan around the clock, admitted twice for dehydration, had days were I physically could not get out of bed, and here I am-at week 20+6 still puking in the mornings, down weight from my pre-pregnancy weight, and struggling some days... I can relate with not enjoying every aspect of pregnancy, I would love for anyone who has posted a rude comment to you to go through the past 14 weeks of my life and still say they LOVE being pregnant! I have just learned to focus on the positives throughout it all: like being thankful that my husband and I are able to have a baby on our own, that our baby boy is healthy and growing by the day, that this is temporary and will eventually end,feeling him kick and move all around... Keep your head up momma! Take some time for yourself! Know that you will eventually get your body back and this low point will be worth it in the end when you're holding your little one!

Like marigold32 said, we aren't a "yay pregnancy is fun 24/7" group. Op, Yes being pregnant can be a bit painful. It's a part of life and being a woman. My back and hips are killing me and its something me and the doctor are going to talk about tomorrow. I suck it up cause you know why op? Cause some women would be so thankful to be going through these pregnancy pains. We have moms on here who have struggled to get pregnant and moms who paid thousands of dollars to be able to experience this.

Op you sound like my 14 year old sister who cried cause an outfit didn't look right in the middle of the mall. Go out and buy something, invest in some clothes. News flash my clothes are small too. It's a part of pregnancy.

And to you whom I quoted, my great grandma didn't have zofran. She had to deal with Hg her whole pregnancy. Let's go back to her time and be pregnant. Be thankful we have medicine for that.

Jason&Christa

I am nothing but thankful for Zofran and Reglan! I never said I wasnt! I was just trying to be a little encouraging to her because I felt like all the other posts were very negative-I was just simply stating what you pretty much said... Pregnancy is not all rainbows and butterflies and it's okay not to love being pregnant every minute of it but to try to focus on some positive aspects of it (: that is all!

JaneShops

Nope, you're not the only one, symptoms thread will reveal plenty of us. Misery needs company, too keke

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SunnyBeachBum

First off OP, don't get your panties in a wad because people aren't agreeing with you. You posted on the internet and everyone here has a right to their own opinion.

I can understand feeling frumpy and uncomfortable, for Pete's sake, we all do! However, being negative and stubborn will not help you feel better. Refusing to go to your H's party is ridiculous... Go out, by a dress, get a pedi and enjoy all the compliments I'm sure you will get.

picklesx

It's ok to not love being pregnant. Personally I am a miserable pregnant woman. I also find myself getting frustrated with getting dressed, even with maternity clothes. It can be difficult to see your own body change so drastically even though it's supposed to be changing and not be able to do anything about it.

It took me a year of fertility treatments to get pregnant with my first, and doing so was a very emotionally trying time for me. Was I/Am I now grateful to have a healthy life growing inside of me? Yes, absolutely. Pregnancy is amazing But that doesn't make it anymore comfortable or pleasant or less stressful or scary.

karboss

I don't mind being pregnant. It isn't the best but is certainly isn't the worst. And when you think about what your body is actually doing--it's pretty amazing. That being said--no one's clothes fit. You will need maternity clothes. There's really no getting around it. Buy something and move on. Get a pregnancy pillow to help your back and perhaps s good bra fitting.

But complaining isn't going to change anything. Some people may even sympathize with you but most aren't going to coddle you with this one. You have 16 weeks to go. Buck up and do what you need to do. That means finding something to wear to your husband's Christmas party. If this isn't your first--surely you have a dress, blank pants, or a cute pair of leggings with a tunic or sweater you can scrape together from your last pregnancy to wear. I'm guessing you didn't stay in wearing sweatpants the entire time. Everyone thinks a pregnant woman looks beautiful. No matter what you wear, so will your DH and his coworkers.

ETA--you always feel better when you look better. Put on some lipstick and mascara and fake it until you make it. Lying around in your PJs sounds like a sure fire way to sink deeper into your pregnancy funk.

lindsayanne14

OP, I completely understand not loving PG, it can be uncomfortable, emotional and even painful at times. I think your refusal to get a dress for your DH's party is the main reason posters are responding negatively, that part of your post sounds pretty whiny and bratty.

@bramage‌ gave you some awesome advice, you should think about following it!

alexis95

It's normal to not enjoy pregnancy every second of every day, or to feel less pretty because of how your body is changing. I'm only 19 so seeing my body change so drastically gets tough sometimes. But then I get over it because being pregnant with a healthy baby is a blessing that so many women would love to have. I personally love being pregnant even if I get down about my body sometimes, just because I know the outcome will be so worth it. Like others have said, go out and find a cute maternity dress you feel comfortable in. I always feel so much better after getting dressed in maternity clothes that fit and putting a little make up on. And for the pain, I suggest what others have suggested as well. Take a warm bath, maybe invest in a body pillow, relax with your feet up and just try to enjoy the next 16 weeks.

nomesy

I just want to add while I was reading and scrolling I accidentally hit report on someone's post , appologies, I didn't mean it.

And in other news, meh she isn't liking her pregnancy, her pregnancy her thing to deal with. I only bought a new top the other day I could grow into , wore it last night for our first wedding anniversary dinner and my husband kept telling me how nice it was and how it suited me , made me feel so much better about being such a whale !! I hate how I'm so big this time , but I'm learning to deal with it in my own ways, I have to remember that although I'm huge , I'm growing something and protecting him from the world for a bit , and it kinda makes me feel special like a snowflake

redneckmomma25

These responses were not negative. You received some great advice and tough love. I'm assuming by your reaction that you were not looking for anything other than agreement. But agreement leaves you where you are. Don't you want to feel a little better about the things that you can change? Advice on how to go about doing that?

Go find a beautiful dress. Get a baby sitter for the night. Get pampered a bit. And go out with your husband. It will do you a world of good. That is far better advice than someone just agreeing with you.

Pregnancy is hard. This is my second and it has been worse than my other one physically and emotionally. I'm being proactive about it. I see a chiropractor. I bought some cute things to make me feel better about myself. They aren't perfect fitting by any means. All my pants fall off but when they are in place they look cute.

The woman here are very supportive, smart, and come from all different walks of life and experiences. Draw from that. Don't close it out because you weren't in the mood to hear what they have to say.

MPKbaby237

Like so many others, I, too, have had a tough pregnancy. I do not enjoy the experience on a day to day basis; however, I'm grateful that baby is developing. I can't wait to meet him! As I'm sure you feel as well about your little one.
My advice is that you find a good counselor. It sounds like you might be experiencing depression. It is nothing to be ashamed about. Pregnancy is stressful and scary. Personally, I see someone on a weekly basis to just feel open to discuss my joys/ fears as a FTM. This board is a great group of women, but I think you might be searching for something greater than this board's purpose. I encourage you to take care of yourself- new dress, prenatal massage, mani/pedi, and the expertise of a therapist.
Best of luck!

Ginja85

I honestly don't like being pregnant either and that's okay. I'd never do it again for ME but, if my sister or bestie need me to I would in a heartbeat but, I'm egg mom to my besties 2 beautiful sons & couldn't bear the thought of her not being able to have another if she wanted.

jk3610

While the symptoms suck sometimes, I love being pregnant because I wake up choosing to everyday.  A negative mindset will get you nowhere in life.  I choose to love it because I know my body is doing something wonderful, and because of all the people who have either struggled to achieve it or are still unable to.  Yes, HG is hard, and I'm sorry you went through that, but so have lots of other women.  They found ways to deal with it.  

Also, this isn't a support group. This is the internet.  You can't come on here and dictate the responses you get. ("please be nice" etc)  I've made this comparison before, but it's like posting a picture on reddit and saying "please be nice" and expecting people to do so.  Doesn't work like that.

That being said, hope you feel better and gain a little perspective.  JK out.

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missab

OP - are you able to talk to a therapist, by chance? I think that, while it sounds unreasonable to the rest of us that you don't want to go out and buy a dress or that you'd rather sleep 24/7 than deal with being pregnant, those issues sound very familiar as common warning signs of depression (sorry, not diagnosing, just wondering if this could be a possibility). It might be a good idea to talk to someone. Lots of us don't love being pregnant, but are able to put that into perspective. If that's a seeming like a challenge, talking to a professional could help.

LMurphy207

Jason&Christa said:

People can be so harsh on here! I have HG-I lost 16 pounds at my worst taking Zofran and Reglan around the clock, admitted twice for dehydration, had days were I physically could not get out of bed, and here I am-at week 20+6 still puking in the mornings, down weight from my pre-pregnancy weight, and struggling some days... I can relate with not enjoying every aspect of pregnancy, I would love for anyone who has posted a rude comment to you to go through the past 14 weeks of my life and still say they LOVE being pregnant! I have just learned to focus on the positives throughout it all: like being thankful that my husband and I are able to have a baby on our own, that our baby boy is healthy and growing by the day, that this is temporary and will eventually end,feeling him kick and move all around... Keep your head up momma! Take some time for yourself! Know that you will eventually get your body back and this low point will be worth it in the end when you're holding your little one!

I've had a very rough pregnancy from 4 weeks to about 19. I've been throwing up uncontrollably, had back issues, migraines, hip problems, ect. And guess what, I love it. We were told we wouldn't do this without serious medical help and were able to on our own. I'm sick, tired and in physical pain because my baby is healthy and growing perfectly. I've been one of the moms here over the last few weeks who really thought pregnancy wasn't for me, it's not for everyone. But the last week of some loss posts from this board and a few other months has smacked me upside the head. I've had a rough 15 weeks and I wouldn't change a thing.

Please don't call the people here rude, it dosent go well. Read some of the more serious posts then think before you type please.

fiscally3

Honestly, I had a day like this yesterday.  I felt uncomfortable and exhausted.  I'm chasing around two small children, and neither them will listen.  Its been weeks since I was able to get more than 2-3 hours of sleep at night, my 15 month old is going through a clingy phase and won't sleep without me (he screamed mama for 2 hours straight the last time we tried CIO).  He wakes if I get up to use the restroom.  Then the three year old needs to cuddle too...I was almost in tears yesterday afternoon from exhaustion because the three year old won't take his nap or let me lay down.

I don't know what happened last night, but everyone slept all night in their bed and I only woke up once!  I woke up with a cold, but in every other sense I feel a million times better.

Sometimes you just need to get some relax to change your perspective.  Go out and pick out a cute maternity dress.  Day of the party get a prenatal massage, and get your husband to take care of everything else.  Buy some sparkling grape juice, pretend its champagne, and relax while you get ready.  You might just forget how miserably pregnant you are, have a good night, and wake up feeling better.

starshollow

missab said:

OP - are you able to talk to a therapist, by chance? I think that, while it sounds unreasonable to the rest of us that you don't want to go out and buy a dress or that you'd rather sleep 24/7 than deal with being pregnant, those issues sound very familiar as common warning signs of depression (sorry, not diagnosing, just wondering if this could be a possibility). It might be a good idea to talk to someone. Lots of us don't love being pregnant, but are able to put that into perspective. If that's a seeming like a challenge, talking to a professional could help.

This is exactly what I wanted to suggest. I'm not trying to diagnose anything but I feel like there is some red flags in your post. Maybe talking to someone is what would help you to feel better.

dana1047

I also have my husband's management Christmas party to attend tonight after I work 10 hours with an awful cold. Will I feel like going? Probably not!! I could double as a snot monster right now.

However I bought a cute wrap dress from GAP, got up early this morning and fixed my hair & makeup, and overall I feel much prettier than on a normal day.

OP, I understand the feeling that your body is weird and different. As a FTM, my body is definetely changing a lot. Even the lady bits don't look the same when you're pregnant.

I just suck it up, realize I'm growing a beautiful son, and know that it won't last forever. I can't wait for April to hold this little boy I've dreamed of all my life.

Chin up buttercup!! It could always be worse

jessisee

Wow! Talk about pregnancy hormones raging. Ladies, a bit more tact in your responses would have been nice. OP, pregnancy has its ups and downs but do your best to be positive. We are more than halfway there so chin up! It'll all be worth it when you get to meet your little one.

marigold32

jessisee said:

Wow! Talk about pregnancy hormones raging. Ladies, a bit more tact in your responses would have been nice. OP, pregnancy has its ups and downs but do your best to be positive. We are more than halfway there so chin up! It'll all be worth it when you get to meet your little one.

Let's see, who is more likely to be the raging bag of hormones here... The person who has a problem, acknowledges there is a solution, but would rather act like a child than do something about it? Or the people offering sound and logical advice? You're right, it's probably the latter.

marigold32

OP, this was a totally run-of-the-mill post until you got to the bit about the party. Lots of us could have sympathized with you. I don't even subscribe to the belief that just because someone out there has it worse or would love to be in your shoes, you're not allowed to complain or have a bad day. BUT the attitude toward the party is where I get hung up. You may not have meant the post to be about that, but that's what stands out. You could have said any number of things that would have elicited sympathy from me, rather than an eye roll. Had you said, "it's a really nice event and I don't want to buy something I'll only wear once," or "money is tight right now and I just truly can't afford a new outfit," or even, "I'm really struggling with body image and feeling like I am still attractive to my husband," I would have checked the tough love at the door and tried to offer some suggestions. Instead you said nothing fits and you REFUSE to get something that does. What do you expect us to do with that information?

kitc101

I feel like I'm in the completely opposite boat. I don't have anyone I can talk to because all of my friends complained throughout their entire pregnancies. I've had it very easy so far (thankful for every day that continues). So when I DON'T have something to bitch about, they roll their eyes at me. My husband and I have wanted this baby for a very long time, and I'm just so thankful that even if I did have a complaint I don't think I'd express it.

SuperFudge00

wlukeman said:

I'm quite aware of that. I have a two year old already. But my body was back to normal after I had my first

If this is your second, what did you do with your wardrobe from last time?

Sharon&Paul

I do not love pregnancy. This is my fourth and the hardest. i do think age plays into that. I have started counting the weeks backwards now since I am past the halfway mark. Since I went early with my other kids it may even be less. This is how I am survive at the moment. The good news is there is an end and you get a beautiful baby at the end. I know with my first pregnancy I thought the symptoms would never end as I vomited up through delivery. But it did all end with delivery..