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Bf not happy ;( *trigger warning*

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Re: Bf not happy ;( *trigger warning*

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  • o_so_in_loveo_so_in_love member
    @misslyssabrown‌ , I'm sorry you are having to go through this difficult time. Here are my two cents... If you are considering termination then I would suggest counseling from planned parenthood. Follow up by doing your own research. But if you are considering keeping this child, I would suggest counseling from a pro-life organization, church, and/or adoption agency. There are more and more stories these days about PP and the ones I've heard are not good. They benefit from women in similar situations like yours. I know this isn't everyone's opinion of PP, but I still think it's something to consider. I wish you all the best.
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  • hollowwayhollowway member
    Thanks for the update! It certainly sounds like youve decided to keep the baby, and hes decided he doesmt want to be a father. I think, at some point, you're going to resolve yourself to being a single mom, because hes unsupportive and you want the baby... Either way, I see your relationship ending in resentment, either you resenting him, or him resenting you. I hope you get the counsel you need, and make the decision that is best for YOU, not for your bf.

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  • Yianna2013Yianna2013 member
    don't do it. babies are precious. dont want it?  give it up for adoption.  there are many people out there willing to love your child
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  • traceyostraceyos member
    It seems that you already love this baby, and this baby is a miracle (even more than most). I hope you choose your baby and not this guy who is going back on his word.

    Best wishes and keep us updated!
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  • dllnlrndllnlrn member
    Once you have your first child you won't be able to
    Live with the fact that you had an abortion. I wouldn't based on that fact. If you want the child then you should
    Have it. Obviously this relationship won't be long term anyways and deep down you know that. Please don't consider anyone else's feelings but your own or you will live your life with regret for living your life based on others' opinions. I would have the child, it is a life and deserves a chance. It will be hard but you WILL adapt. Whatever decision you make though, please make
    Sure you have support.
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  • jr0310jr0310 member
    Just read this whole thread and I agree with the other ladies. He seems to have made up his mind without considering your feelings.

    YOU seem to really want this baby, so I truly believe you could do it on your own. Just think, you have 7 months before this baby is due, so much can change between now and then. Yeah it won't be ideal if the father isn't around, but it sounds like you have family that could help out.

    For those saying if you don't want it choose adoption... I have to say that while the gift of adoption is amazing.. It doesn't seem like the op would be able to handle that. The issue is that she clearly WANTS this baby. I think the issue here is have the baby with or without him or don't have the baby at all and hope he sticks around and the op doesn't resent him.

    And to me, that seems like a big gamble. Op go with your heart. You've been pregnant a couple weeks now. Your gut is probably right.
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  • tigerlynx31413tigerlynx31413 member
    Again I'm so sorry you are being put in this situation by your bf. Trust your heart and it will guide you. If your bf can't man-up I feel you are a strong enough woman to take this one. Plus you have a great role model in your Mom! So many hugs!

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  • forevergracefulforevergraceful member
    petrichor14 said:
    Oh for fucks sake- can we stop with the anti-abortion crap? The OP made it clear that it's not an option she's comfortable with. No one has tried to talk her into getting one. There is no reason to come in here and post rude shit that's insensitive to all the people on this forum and elsewhere who HAVE had them and DON'T regret them (yep, I guarantee they exist!)

    It's irrelevant. And the idea that the OP possibly getting some counseling about her situation at - gasp- an unbiased place like PP! - is going to result in her being talked into an abortion when she doesn't want one is fucking absurd (and insulting to the OP for that matter.)

    Just give it a rest, please.
    Seriously. And for those saying, "oh just give it up for adoption", the decision isn't that easy. Adoption is a whole other animal. Oh and @dllnlrn, that is the most wrong statement you could make. How do you know that someone will not be able to "live with the fact that they had an abortion" when they do decide to have a child. I have a friend that got pregnant when she was dating her then boyfriend of three months. Now they are happily married with two kids. She doesn't regret it and she is happy that she waited to start her family when she was ready. 

    OP, again, your decision and only you know what is right for you. Thank you for updating. Best of luck to you. 

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  • dllnlrndllnlrn member
    @forevergraceful‌ , true true. There are many people that don't regret the decision. I agree. My statement was a knee jerk reaction based on how I felt. OP: based on your original post, I think my previous post still applies. You said you wouldn't be able to live with the decision to have an abortion, so most likely you will have some regret.
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  • nikkisauronikkisauro member
    edited December 2014
    Good luck with this very difficult decision. I just wanted to share that I have an extremely close friend in this position as well, and hope that maybe this info can be someone comforting or helpful to you.

    We were both brought up under the mindset that abortion isn't even an option. Of course when you're put in the situation yourself, everything changes and I completely understand how difficult this must be.

    My friend and I had many talks about it. Some ended with me saying we could go together to have it done if that's what she wanted. Other times she expressed that she just couldn't part with the gift she had been given even though she wasn't ready to be a mother.

    Ultimately she came to the decision on her own that she may regret an abortion but could not imagine ever regretting her child. The important part that is: it was her decision (as much as I tried to help in any way).

    I wish you nothing but the best and hope you find peace in any decision you make.

    ETA: sorry for the long post and hopefully I didn't ramble too much :)
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  • OrangeGirlie58421OrangeGirlie58421 member
    Messaged you!
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  • dllnlrndllnlrn member
    @lavendergrrl‌ in a subsequent post by myself, I said that statement was a knee jerk reaction based on how I felt. Of course I don't know if that's how she will feel. So that was a mistake on my part. OP please disregard that. I should've said that that is how I felt. Everyone is different... You need to do what you feel is right to do.
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  • dllnlrndllnlrn member
    Thanks for sharing your story and wishing you the best of luck with whatever decision you make.
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  • XandrakellerXandrakeller member
    My 5 years olds Dad wanted me to have an abortion. I even went so far as to visit the clinic and speak with them about the procedure. They took one look at me and said "You're not here for the right reasons, you can't be here because he wants you to be". I was 22, a full time student, and my mom had terminal breast cancer. I made the choice I felt was right, and it ended up being a blessing because my Mom passed away when my son was 6 months old, so she got to meet her grandchild. You have to do what's right for you, and if that's not keeping your baby, that's ok! Just make sure to be at peace with YOUR choice, because you already know his choice. It was a very VERY difficult road alone, but I am now happily married with a 1.5 year old and one on the way. My son is a wonderful big brother! In no way am I trying to sway you one way or another, this is a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer. Good luck!
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