Is anyone interested in a weekly inlaw/family vent thread?

lizzbeth06 · November 2014

I wouldn't even know where to start!

sbride68 · November 2014

AngelasAshes said:
@sbride68 ICK!!! Shame on your FIL...that's awful. So hard to bite your tongue in those situations, yeah??

VERY hard to bite my tongue! I can't stand it and it stresses me out

when he really shouldn't I guess because he isn't around. He doesn't even hardly attempt to talk to me at all though so it really makes me feel like he has no day. It's like excuse me I'm the one carrying the baby. If you want to know about it at least freaking ask me! But he won't which makes me angry and want to not let him have a thing to do with my baby. I just want to tell at him that he has no say and that even though I wish I did I don't. It will be whatever the genes decide and if he doesn't like it tough because my husband and I have been through quite a bit to even conceive a child so just be happy for us that we are even pregnant whatever the babies sex may be.

jessiemonkey · November 2014

This one i can get on board with, i have a list just over the last three months and i am to the point that i am driving my husband crazy with my feelings, even though he is not happy about how they have been acting and has not spoken to them in over a month....a place to vent is just what i need, with other women who get that being pregnant makes it even worse when feelings are hurt. I dont post on these feeds often cuz i dont feel i would have anything to say but on this one i have more then i should.

Nita2603 · November 2014

Ha. Awesome.

Though I wish I could just crap puppies and rainbows...not the way it seems to go. :-(

elizabethHouser · November 2014

Second time Mama here. I have pretty bad inlaws, (outlaws) the best advice I received was 'Who is your family?' Your family now is you, husband and baby. Those are the only ones you have to be loyal to and make happy now. Honoring your parents just means keeping the channels of communication open. You do not have to give command performances of the baby to your inlaws. They can come visit you at your house. Don't travel with the baby till past three months, six months preferably. Hugs

Jennmiller1 · November 2014

So would love a thread like this. So am ready to kill my inlaws and glad I am not the only one.

Jamesy · November 2014

My mother in law is legitimately mentally ill so I try not to complain too much about her since I guess it's not really her fault. But lord, she's awful. Right now she is completely furious at us that the baby is a girl. She wanted a boy, apparently. Not sure what I'm supposed to to about that... apologize?

) No thanks!

ginger819 · November 2014

My mil is pretty awesome, though a little crazy at times. Today though she managed to get under my skin twice. DH had a terrible spending habit before I took over his finances. Now he's on a (not really so) strict budget that has allowed us to move to a nice house and not want for much. We have a running joke that I have him on such a tight budget that he can't get certain tings he wants though. Today we were joking about him not getting milk (I'm not a terrible wife of course there's room for us to buy milk in the budget) and his mom goes off on a tangent on how she can't believe there's money to go to Minnesota (a birthday/Christmas present for DH to go see a basketball game and get some quality time in before baby) and I won't even let him buy simple necessities. The Minnesota trip is not going to cost us much anyways (yay for working at a hotel and getting discounts).

Then she found out we are getting a 3d ultrasound done and tried to invite herself and my mom along. No. This is a special thing for me and DH and you will get to see and find out what we're having on Christmas like the rest of the family. Then she proceeded to throw a hissy fit when she found out they (mil and my mom) may not get to be in the delivery room (DH and I are still talking about this and have plenty of time to decide). I was considering just my mom being there but I don't really think I'm going to want to put up with listening to her complain about how unfair that is. Grrr.

a316b · November 2014

Woke up to myriad of emails from MIL. (I only will talk to her on phone once a week because she's annoying. Extra annoying as I am pregnant. She is super opinionated and tries to be controlling even though she can't control her own life. {separate rant needed}.) each statement was a separate email.

-"you can't wear a black dress to SILs baby shower next week because it's bad luck" (wasn't planning on it- thanks, fashion police. She's actually still mad because I refuse to wear a sari to the baby shower. In laws are indian, I am not. It is going to be 20 degrees and I'm pregnant. Also- SIL is upset that she has to have an "indian" baby shower, so I'm dressing american per her wishes)

-"you need take me to safety deposit box to get jewelry and gold coins before the baby shower" (umm. I don't have to do anything. I'm legit busy with my JOB and 2 toddlers and other holiday shit, not to mention your son works a lot and I have to take care of him and house too. so NO. I don't have time to drive 45 minutes to your house to take you to the bank and wait while you show me every piece of jewelry you've ever gotten and who gave it to you and who gets it when you die. Then drive 45 minutes home with two bored, screaming toddlers)

-"Gorget about that. T"
That's a direct copy/paste. WTF does that mean?! (Also T? Who/what is T? Her name starts with N and she tries to get me to call her mom. Not happening.)

Forwarded all emails to hubby. He can deal with her.

Jennmiller1 · November 2014

Yeah my MIL wants to be there for the ultrasound and literally asked me at thanksgiving In front of the whole family . So ehen I said no and no to coming to any doctor appointments I looked like the bad guy . We haven't had the delivery room talk yet but I know it is coming . Aghhhh!!!

Hawk&Eye · November 2014

About MILs in the delivery room...unless you have a great relationship, I say hell no! I made the mistake with DS and will never do it again. You're only going to want people in there that are 100 percent supporting you. You are fully exposed and as vulnerable as you can be. My MIL acted like it was some sort of show that was taking too long, took horrible pictures and talked about all the gross stuff to friends and neighbors for weeks after. She will be no where near my room this go around.

AnnaK1985 · November 2014

stephaniesee said:

I would break the Internet with my venting but it'll help me feel normal.

I feel about the same! I don't like my in-laws, and they've become a major pain since finding out about their first grandchild.

equestriandiva · November 2014

My in-laws are making demands for their presence when the baby is due. Of course my DH and I would like our space as well I want my parents involved. They seem to think they're the only ones who matter. Plus they'll only talk about it when they're drunk so all reasoning goes out the window! I'd prefer at least discussing it with them sober but the fact of "this is still 6 months out, plus we've already had a loss so it's too early to really talk about it" doesn't seem to help. With the previous pregnancy we already had this all worked out, so didn't appreciate being blindsided when I was dishing up some thanksgiving goodies

equestriandiva · November 2014

And thank you so much for starting this thread! I'm starting to calm down and not be quite so pissed off after reading what others are going through too!

lakingsfan2015 · November 2014

We facetimed with my family in the morning, my family was all oh we miss you guys, we better start saving pennies so we could come to CA next year.

We facetimed with my SIL and she asked 5 times when we were going to come out to Chicago to see her. She just wasn't understanding it is too expensive for our family of 5 to fly anywhere, not to mention when the babies come it will be dam near impossible 3 under 3 on a plane, yeah I will pass. Somehow in her mind it would be easier for us to fly there than her family of 4 flying here. She also thinks we should name the babies strong Polish names with Polish spellings, she also thinks (might have demanded I walked away) that we teach our boys Polish because they need to be able to speak to the Polish family they never see.

j3nnyb3nny · November 2014

mp03jp said:
my MIL thinks you need to cook turkey an hour per pound. But it's going to into the oven at midnight and coming out at 10 am. I bought extra jarred gravy

My MIL used to really irritate me but she's gotten a lot better and this is my major complaint right now

My MIL thinks it's acceptable to cook the turkey the day before and leave it on the side in a hot kitchen for oven a week until it is all eaten. This is because she says it won't fit in the fridge and she won't cut it off the bones. Needless to say I haven't even turkey at her house for 12years, not since the first Xmas that she gave me food poisoning!

Nita2603 · November 2014

My mother has announced she would come over for the months of May and June (from Germany) 'to make sure the poor boys get some attention and that baby has a legit chance of survival'.

Yeah, not happening. She can come for 2-3 weeks, max. In June. When we had a chance to become a family of five.

And to be clear, my boys will get plenty of attention and that baby has nothing to fear either. My mother is just an asshole.

BeccaE27 · November 2014

A week ago last year we were told or first try at IVF failed. We had planned to have thanksgiving out our house. That whole e day my MIL was bitching about DH experimenting with the turkey recipe then she kept touching the food i had made to try and fix it. Lastly and the worst offence was when she said grace she mentioned about how she is grateful for her future grandchildren. DH and I were so upset that she would have the nerve to bring that up. He told her off about it an then after apologizing to me she kept bringing it up. I finally told her to knock it off. Now that I am pregnant with it first she is so excited that is annoying. Anything cute the gets put up on Facebook she has to try and include herself even if it's a cute mommy, daddy baby idea. I get she is excited but stop trying to take away our fun of planning for our first baby! She is also claiming she is going to be up here constantly after the baby is born. She lives 2 hours and can't drive. I'm praying no one is willing to drive her up more then one every few weeks.

laur1020 · November 2014

I need to vent about my two sisters-in-law AND my hubby. Yesterday, DH was on a 3-way call with his sisters to discuss what we are going to do for exchanging Christmas gifts with each other this year. They came up with this "great idea" to not exchange gifts, but to put the money that we would spend on gifts toward a fund to take a family vacation next year. (Yay! :-L ) they want to take said vacation in May (SIL's idea). I was in the room while this conversation was happening, and I shook my head a mouthed to DH "no! I'm having a baby in May and I'm not going anywhere!" DH told his sisters that I don't want to travel in May since the baby is due then (duh DH...you should know this already)...they then discuss that maybe they will come here for the vacation and rent a big beach house (we live in a tourist town). DH wants to go and stay at this beach house with his family. I totally understand him wanting to do this, as they all live in different states. However, even if this "vacation" happens locally, I'm still not going to take my newborn baby and spend a week there. I don't think DH should go either. We can go and spend the day with them and then come home at night, but why should we have to pay for it? AND mind you, being due May 5th does not mean baby will be born then. He/she could come in April or halfway thru May. And who would want to spend their vacation in a house with a newborn that cries several times at night?! I'm so surprised my SIL's haven't spoken up and said "you guys are having a baby, let's put this off a few months". I really need to have a serious talk with DH about this. The first few weeks as parents are going to be exhausting as we will be lacking sleep and trying to get into the whole parenting thing. UGH!!! I'm done complaining now.

a316b · November 2014

@laur1020‌ - oh no! You stay home with that baby! I would be pissed if I was paying for their rental. :-L

FreddyisReady · November 2014

We have been staying with MIL in Las Vegas for the past couple of days. We leave tomorrow. I am soooo over it! I want to go home. I want to be done with her. She is high maintenance, needy, and NEVER stops talking.

FreddyisReady · November 2014

Starbuck128 said:
The ILs keep everything and their hobby is garage sale shopping. They buy tons of crap, and when they don't have space for it, MIL packs it up in her car and brings it down to us. Twice a month DH comes home and unloads all this crap into our house.

Now I don't save stuff, and having a lot of clutter around gives me a lot of anxiety. I'm already freaking out about Christmas and the car load of crap (broken dishes, clothes with holes, years old cleaning products, etc.) they'll give us. I have a life! I don't have time to sort through all this trash and carefully plan filling our trash can every week. I shouldn't have to have their trash sitting in my house because this week they gave us more than our trash can can hold. Did I mention seeing trash like this gives me anxiety? Rinse and repeat this day once a month.

Omg, I would die. Or murder. I would not be able to handle that.

Nita2603 · November 2014

FreddyisReady said:

Starbuck128 said:
The ILs keep everything and their hobby is garage sale shopping. They buy tons of crap, and when they don't have space for it, MIL packs it up in her car and brings it down to us. Twice a month DH comes home and unloads all this crap into our house.

Now I don't save stuff, and having a lot of clutter around gives me a lot of anxiety. I'm already freaking out about Christmas and the car load of crap (broken dishes, clothes with holes, years old cleaning products, etc.) they'll give us. I have a life! I don't have time to sort through all this trash and carefully plan filling our trash can every week. I shouldn't have to have their trash sitting in my house because this week they gave us more than our trash can can hold. Did I mention seeing trash like this gives me anxiety? Rinse and repeat this day once a month.
Omg, I would die. Or murder. I would not be able to handle that.

Wow.

There is an advantage of my mother living an ocean away (another one) - the shit she brings or sends is limited and can be discarded in one swoop.

Hawk&Eye · November 2014

FreddyisReady said:
The ILs keep everything and their hobby is garage sale shopping. They buy tons of crap, and when they don't have space for it, MIL packs it up in her car and brings it down to us. Twice a month DH comes home and unloads all this crap into our house.

Now I don't save stuff, and having a lot of clutter around gives me a lot of anxiety. I'm already freaking out about Christmas and the car load of crap (broken dishes, clothes with holes, years old cleaning products, etc.) they'll give us. I have a life! I don't have time to sort through all this trash and carefully plan filling our trash can every week. I shouldn't have to have their trash sitting in my house because this week they gave us more than our trash can can hold. Did I mention seeing trash like this gives me anxiety? Rinse and repeat this day once a month.

Omg, I would die. Or murder. I would not be able to handle that.

omg...this is my mom. I love her dearly but she is a garage sale junky. She gets great deals on barely used toys for DS but I don't appreciate all her bargains ending up in my house. I also don't like bleaching everything that comes through the door because I have no idea of the germs left on this stuff. Our house is like a toy store and my DH and I barely buy DS anything because there's no room! I love that she likes getting him toys but there is a limit and she crossed it a long time ago. I'm really trying to get her to knock it off or at least keep it for when DS is at her house. I get so stressed just looking at our living room and thinking that Christmas is right around the corner.

Lauracox3 · November 2014

We have been staying at my in laws house in NC for Thanksgiving. They are basically part time parents to my BIL's kid. They also raised the other BIL's children. DH is the most stabile brother of the bunch by far and we have made a nice life for ourselves back in my hometown in Maryland. My MIL loves the drama and to be the center of all it. She thrives on control. She also has zero hobbies. She is a hermit that stays in her home 24-7. The crazy list goes on and on. She will be visiting for 2 weeks max after the baby is born. That is all I will be able to stomach. This weekend my MIL has already talked about how our baby might develop a new routine when she takes care of him while we work! Look Lady. You are nuts if you think I am going to have you raise my children and dictate the rules.

Lezzie82 · November 2014

My MIL is actually a very wonderful, sweet, kind loving lady. She would literally give you the shirt off her back. Giving and selfless don't even begin to describe her. She is a friend too, someone I trust. I can talk to her about everything, even DH who can be very difficult sometimes. She is a queen, and a true mom.

That being said, I do NOT like having to keep all her old stuff at our house. She moved down to FL six years ago to care for her dying mom and now stays with her ailing father too until he passes. She kept her condo in Franklin but rents it, so she moved all the stuff she didn't bring to FL to our garage, attic, and at one point took up the entire walk in closet in our baby's room! We fixed that but now our attic and garage looks like an episode of Hoarders. Oh well, life could definitely be worse!

cassietegtmeier · December 2014

My husband & I will be finding out the sex of our baby the 11th. We have decided to announce it at our family Christmas parties, my family on Christmas his the day after. My husbands mother looked at me on thanksgiving & said
"I better be told what you're having when you find out"
No, no, no, no, & no!
Just wait till she finds out we aren't announcing the name till birth!

sbride68 · December 2014

cassietegtmeier said:

My husband & I will be finding out the sex of our baby the 11th. We have decided to announce it at our family Christmas parties, my family on Christmas his the day after. My husbands mother looked at me on thanksgiving & said "I better be told what you're having when you find out" No, no, no, no, & no! Just wait till she finds out we aren't announcing the name till birth!

You could just tell her that you couldnt find out and then tell her at the party with everyone else.

manacita · December 2014

Starbuck128 said:
The ILs keep everything and their hobby is garage sale shopping. They buy tons of crap, and when they don't have space for it, MIL packs it up in her car and brings it down to us. Twice a month DH comes home and unloads all this crap into our house.

Now I don't save stuff, and having a lot of clutter around gives me a lot of anxiety. I'm already freaking out about Christmas and the car load of crap (broken dishes, clothes with holes, years old cleaning products, etc.) they'll give us. I have a life! I don't have time to sort through all this trash and carefully plan filling our trash can every week. I shouldn't have to have their trash sitting in my house because this week they gave us more than our trash can can hold. Did I mention seeing trash like this gives me anxiety? Rinse and repeat this day once a month.

My mil is the same. She is a compulsive shopper and constantly sends us stuff. Only it isn't stuff we need or want. She just needs to buy things and make room for more things to buy, so she sends it to is. She ships it and pays a fortune to send box after box of crap to my house. It grosses me out. But she has a whole list of mental issues which mean I can't say, 'stop shipping me your trash!'

manacita · December 2014

At thanksgiving, after the big meal, my SIL demanded that dh give her a back massage. A loooooong one. Her husband was downstairs watching football. It was actually creepy. She is a bully and has control issues with her little brother/dh, but he is also capable of saying no or cutting it short. Ew. Just. Ew.

ck4567 · December 2014

I got in a huge fight with my dad today. I needed to use his printer because ours broke and I had to print out some blood work and new patient forms to take to my new ob tomorrow. The Obs office asked me to bring all my records in for them to see, and I have the records but they are electronic. So, I drove in the rain to my dads house to use his printer after he said it was okay and then he gave me this huge lecture about how I needed to not get viruses on his computer when I used it. He was super condescending and spoke to me like I was a complete idiot. I mean come on, I am not trying to go download all this crazy porn or something! I needed to go to the quest lab website and my Obs website and that was it. He then watched me like a hawk while I was on the computer and when I pressed "do not remember password" on the lab website he threw a huge fit saying I should have pressed yes and made me redo the login 4 times. Finally I told him to just stop (in a loud annoyed voice) because that was not going to mess up his computer, and he told me to stop raising my voice, and I told him to stop being so damn ridiculous and he said I could leave then. He seriously thought me pressing no would ruin his computer and give it viruses. So I left without my medical records for the new ob because he is paranoid I will get a virus on his computer from going to 2 legit websites to print.

I am so done with him. How nice of him to treat me this way when I am pregnant. Can't say I am surprised though. I honestly am having as little contact with him as possible from now on. He's so thick headed and stuck in his ways and he causes me way too much stress. I feel bad for disliking him so much but he made his bed through a lifetime of bad interactions with me.

peteresa · December 2014

FreddyisReady said:

The ILs keep everything and their hobby is garage sale shopping. They buy tons of crap, and when they don't have space for it, MIL packs it up in her car and brings it down to us. Twice a month DH comes home and unloads all this crap into our house. Now I don't save stuff, and having a lot of clutter around gives me a lot of anxiety. I'm already freaking out about Christmas and the car load of crap (broken dishes, clothes with holes, years old cleaning products, etc.) they'll give us. I have a life! I don't have time to sort through all this trash and carefully plan filling our trash can every week. I shouldn't have to have their trash sitting in my house because this week they gave us more than our trash can can hold. Did I mention seeing trash like this gives me anxiety? Rinse and repeat this day once a month.
Omg, I would die. Or murder. I would not be able to handle that.

I second that!

peteresa · December 2014

manacita said:

At thanksgiving, after the big meal, my SIL demanded that dh give her a back massage. A loooooong one. Her husband was downstairs watching football. It was actually creepy. She is a bully and has control issues with her little brother/dh, but he is also capable of saying no or cutting it short. Ew. Just. Ew.

I think I would have said " I need the back rub, hip rub,calf rub since I'm pregnant" and watched how quickly she ran away...lol

peteresa · December 2014

shmeell25 said:

On Thanksgiving, MIL looks at me, looks at my belly, and says in front of everyone "you're not already wearing maternity clothes, are you?!" To which I replied "well yes, I am. They're much more comfortable." Then she proceeded to ask me my size, which is not small, in front of everybody. It was humiliating and of course DH was in the other room and missed the whole thing, which I'm sure was by design.

Sounds kinda like my dad on Thanksgiving, he made sure to tell me I looked as "BIG AS A HOUSE" right before we ate....grrrrrr....this just made me want to eat MORE! lol

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