Is anyone interested in a weekly inlaw/family vent thread?

chertmm

I personally struggle with my in-laws and have seen some others post similar frustrations. I figure with the holidays season upon us, there will be many moments to share. Its nice to know I am not alone, and get feedback from other MTB about their experiences. How about a trial period of a few weeks?

chertmm

I just noticed some typos! How do I edit from mobile?

stephaniesee

I would break the Internet with my venting but it'll help me feel normal.

DawnLilly

Let me start off right here. Grandmother - in-law told me I got pneumonia because I'm too damn skinny and was not eating enough to fight off that cold.

a316b

@DawnLilly‌ - my in laws told me that I wouldn't have asthma anymore if only I ate a hard boiled egg every day! (Tell that to 30 years of doctors and medical visits!)

FTM2k15

Love this idea. Last app I said something about my MIL on, they attacked me. Over 80 nasty comments. It would be nice to have a place to say whatever without having to be afraid someone will bitch you out for no apparent reason.

texasmama15

I've got one. We are currently in the car with my in laws for a 7 hour drive and MIL is sick but I'm stuck wearing the mask to protect myself. SEVEN HOURS.

ETA: sorry it's sideways, mobile bumping

klk518

I like this idea! Thinking back there is so so so much stuff I could add about my MIL, it would literally take me an entire day to post it all! Haha

stephaniesee

I guess I'll just start: hub and I wanted to announce with a Christmas card to our distant extended family members. I've known my inlaws for 15 years and they've never done a Christmas card, now MIL wants to do one and suggested i hold a sign that says baby's name and when he's due (I don't do props), and what feels like she's basically trying to announce herself. I can't. What should be a simple (albeit unnecessary) picture has been a 2 month discussion. Picture is set for tomorrow. Just smile!

ETA: hub and I don't crave attention and even this card is a big deal for us, she knows this.

texasmama15

@GFJ48‌ )

looloo44881

I would! My in-laws are the most toxic and delusional people I've ever met. They tried to sabotage my and hubby's wedding last year, threatened us, among other things that they refuse to take responsibility for or apologize for. we have cut them off ever since and even my hubby wants nothing to do with them. But now that we're expecting, they are trying to get involved. Not happening!

Hawk&Eye

My MIL and her sister are two of the most negative people I've ever come across. I could write a book containing all the wrongs they've done over the years. Probably the worst crime against my sanity is always telling my DS about the dangers in the world. Anything from bees and snakes to strangers and breaking the law. That may not sound completely horrible, but when it's constant and he's 3 years old it quickly becomes a problem and my son is paranoid after a visit. I spend a lot of time reassuring him and trying to show him the world isn't all that bad. (And that sitting on the couch watching soap operas isn't much of a life.) And don't even get me started on the amount of junk food they try to sneak him. Maybe I should start preaching the dangers of heart disease?

Snapdragon750

Yes.  My complaints aren't worthy of their own thread but I definitely have a few things I could share in a vent thread.  Plus (and maybe this is terrible, but it's true) I like reading about other people's IL drama.

KellyFM522

I'm super irritated with my parents. We had our family thanksgiving this last weekend. My parents barely said hi to us, my mom was being super weird to everyone. Any way they show up with an armful of gifts for my niece and nothing for DS. They said something snarky like "you said he doesn't need anything". (Doesn't everyone say this out of general politeness?) Like it was my fault they didnt buy anything for DS. Not even a $1 hot wheels car. I'm not the type to give my parents a list of what I need to buy for DS, I think that's lacking in taste. Regardless, I was pretty hurt. I am so thankful DS is still young enough to not notice he was slighted.

stephaniesee

Snapdragon750 said:

Yes.  My complaints aren't worthy of their own thread but I definitely have a few things I could share in a vent thread.  Plus (and maybe this is terrible, but it's true) I like reading about other people's IL drama.

guilty.

Hawk&Eye

KellyFM522 said:

I'm super irritated with my parents. We had our family thanksgiving this last weekend. My parents barely said hi to us, my mom was being super weird to everyone. Any way they show up with an armful of gifts for my niece and nothing for DS. They said something snarky like "you said he doesn't need anything". (Doesn't everyone say this out of general politeness?) Like it was my fault they didnt buy anything for DS. Not even a $1 hot wheels car. I'm not the type to give my parents a list of what I need to buy for DS, I think that's lacking in taste. Regardless, I was pretty hurt. I am so thankful DS is still young enough to not notice he was slighted.

Maybe it's because I just vented and I'm still a little pissy, but this would go right through me. Like you said a hotwheels cost $1!

swiftrr

My brother in law told us the day after our misscarriage to "get back on the horse & just try again, nothing like the love I feel looking in my kids eyes" I still had my dead baby inside me. It's been 6months and we have not heard from him since except to congratulate us on becoming a aunty an uncle on our due date yesterday & how ironic that is. I hate my in laws, they are cold an callous at best if times. Needless to say we have not told them about this pregnancy and most likely will not if we can help it. Thanks that vent feels better:)

Snapdragon750

swiftrr said:

My brother in law told us the day after our misscarriage to "get back on the horse & just try again, nothing like the love I feel looking in my kids eyes" I still had my dead baby inside me. It's been 6months and we have not heard from him since except to congratulate us on becoming a aunty an uncle on our due date yesterday & how ironic that is. I hate my in laws, they are cold an callous at best if times. Needless to say we have not told them about this pregnancy and most likely will not if we can help it. Thanks that vent feels better:)

That is truly awful.  

swiftrr

Snapdragon750 said:

swiftrr said:

My brother in law told us the day after our misscarriage to "get back on the horse & just try again, nothing like the love I feel looking in my kids eyes" I still had my dead baby inside me. It's been 6months and we have not heard from him since except to congratulate us on becoming a aunty an uncle on our due date yesterday & how ironic that is. I hate my in laws, they are cold an callous at best if times. Needless to say we have not told them about this pregnancy and most likely will not if we can help it. Thanks that vent feels better:)

That is truly awful.  

I know right? I cried and cried after that text. I didn't have heart to try and explain the insensitivity on their day:( dam me for being so empathetic, wish sometimes I could just be a c*** lol

sbride68

Don't get me wrong, I generally get along with my MIL but we are due to have our anatomy scan next month before Christmas so DH and I have plans to open the results together on Christmas and then tell our families and then everyone else. Well lovely MIL keeps saying things like "I don't think you should find out" "don't find out" "you don't need to know" "I don't want you to find out" "I don't want to know what it is, I want it to be a surprise" etc etc etc it goes on forever.this is our first child and DH and I talked a lot about whether we would find out or not and ultimately decided to find out as long as LO cooperates. I'm not going to tell everyone but my MIL just because she doesn't want to know. I want to be able to say were having a girl or were having a boy. DH and I are so excited to be able to do that and to be able to plan the room and other things. It's just really getting to me that everytime we say something she says things like that. I want to be able to do something at our Christmas with her and the rest of his family to tell her but I'm stumped on what to do or if I should even try because she is being negative Nancy about our wishes.

ETA: it's not always just her. It bugs me whenever anyone says oh we didn't find out and loved it, so you shouldn't find out either. But she is really getting to me about it I guess.

saralynn91

I found out that my boyfriends future SIL has been telling everyone that my babies a mistake and since she's getting married first that she should have the first grandbaby, and at least she will be married into the family instead of being desperate like me and getting knocked up.
I was very angry at first, thinking that there's no way I would purposefully get pregnant while still in college, and my boyfriend and I have been together 5 years, but they've been together 2 years, and Even though she's getting married first I never cared! I figured my bf would propose when he was ready.
But now I'm feeling really hurt, and I can't believe someone's calling my child a mistake. The baby is already so loved and we are so excited for his/her arrival, but bf doesn't understand why I no longer want her to be around my child.
And now I get to spend all day together with her tomorrow, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to pretend that nothing's wrong anymore.

sbride68

saralynn91 said:

I found out that my boyfriends future SIL has been telling everyone that my babies a mistake and since she's getting married first that she should have the first grandbaby, and at least she will be married into the family instead of being desperate like me and getting knocked up.
I was very angry at first, thinking that there's no way I would purposefully get pregnant while still in college, and my boyfriend and I have been together 5 years, but they've been together 2 years, and Even though she's getting married first I never cared! I figured my bf would propose when he was ready.
But now I'm feeling really hurt, and I can't believe someone's calling my child a mistake. The baby is already so loved and we are so excited for his/her arrival, but bf doesn't understand why I no longer want her to be around my child.
And now I get to spend all day together with her tomorrow, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to pretend that nothing's wrong anymore.

If she gets too snarky just let her have it. She has no right to say that about your baby. It's not her place to judge whether it is a "mistake" or not. Maybe she is a mistake in your eyes lol but on a more serious note she needs to understand that all babies planned or unplanned are a blessing from God and whether her child is the first or last grand child when they have one I'm sure it will be loved all the same. Sending you hugs and strength to get through tomorrow.

rivers714

@saralynn91‌ people suck. Like really suck. My sons family wouldn't tell anyone about Gabe until after he was born, because we weren't married so how could they be sure it was their sons ( we'd been together 5 yrs). Don't let it get to you, she's obviously threatened by you and your relationship with your in laws

saralynn91

Thanks guys, I'm really starting to realize that people do suck. I don't understand how people can be so awful when it comes to a new Innocent life being born. rivers714 I don't know how you could have delt/gotten over something like that, at least my bf's parents are really accepting and excited.

rivers714

@starbuck128 to be honest I don't know, I was really surprised they didn't demand a paternity test. My ex knew it was his and said he knew it was his. Maybe the excitement of a grandkid took over? They didn't tell my ex's gram whom he saw weekly until Gabe was 3 months old. I have shitty almost in laws... No bad in laws though, but I don't have to be nice and they'd rather not talk to me and say I'm horrible then ever ask to see my son more- which is fine with me. They aren't people I want my son to associate with more then he has to.

KellyFM522

@saralynn91‌ what a piece of work! I am sorry you are feeling hurt, I would be too. But live your life, and do what you need to keep your little family happy.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

sml72978

Going to visit the inlaws for thanksgiving I am SURE I will have some great stories since MIL treats me like a piece of crap and mamas boy hubby pretends not to notice. It's ok though...I finally told him we do not go unless we get a hotel! Too many issues staying at their house...mostly caused by her! Ugh you have no idea!

sml72978

On my wedding day my MIL told my hubby that I was mentally unstable and tried to commit suicide...days later hubby asks me why I never told him or confided in him about my problems??? I was completely confused and asked what on earth he was talking about. He then told me that his mother told him that I told her all about it!!!! I said ALL ABOUT WHAT!!!! He finally told me and I was PISSED! I barely spoke to her let alone told her anything personal that never happened. When Preg with our son she totally ignored me and acted like I wasn't even around bc hubby and I were having issues she wanted him to leave and find someone else. Thank GOD they live 500 miles away!

masonsmomandmaybaby

What if she gets your husband sick? Then you'll get sick. The mask is pointless unless she wears it! How annoying!

masonsmomandmaybaby

Well crap I obviously meant that for texasmama15

masonsmomandmaybaby

I have one I'm still super resentful about. I've had 2 miscarriages this year. My mil would not stop constantly talking about my sil pregnancy and everything she had purchased AS I was miscarrying the second time. She also asked to come over during the process of the second one to see our son. But I ended up having to feed the inlaws AND clean up after them as i cramping and bleeding like crazy. Dh asked her to lay off the baby talk as we had just lost our 3rd child and she told him I was being selfish! Selfish I am barely functioning woman cut me some slack! Luckily I got pregnant again right away and am almost 16 weeks with a healthy little girl. I'm still so mad at her for how heartless she was.

mpower0606

@texasmama15‌ that is INSANE!!!! I can't believe she isn't wearing the mask! FWIW-I can't handle being with MIL in the car for 7 MINUTES

I would love a weekly thread-especially since I feel like I'm venting about my in-laws all over the place now as it is

sbride68

AngelasAshes said:

sbride68 said:

Don't get me wrong, I generally get along with my MIL but we are due to have our anatomy scan next month before Christmas so DH and I have plans to open the results together on Christmas and then tell our families and then everyone else. Well lovely MIL keeps saying things like "I don't think you should find out" "don't find out" "you don't need to know" "I don't want you to find out" "I don't want to know what it is, I want it to be a surprise" etc etc etc it goes on forever.this is our first child and DH and I talked a lot about whether we would find out or not and ultimately decided to find out as long as LO cooperates. I'm not going to tell everyone but my MIL just because she doesn't want to know. I want to be able to say were having a girl or were having a boy. DH and I are so excited to be able to do that and to be able to plan the room and other things. It's just really getting to me that everytime we say something she says things like that. I want to be able to do something at our Christmas with her and the rest of his family to tell her but I'm stumped on what to do or if I should even try because she is being negative Nancy about our wishes.

ETA: it's not always just her. It bugs me whenever anyone says oh we didn't find out and loved it, so you shouldn't find out either. But she is really getting to me about it I guess.

This kind of stuff drives me nuts! When other people insert their own opinions repeatedly over things that aren't really their business...it just kinda ruins it and introduces a lot of negativity and stress. Shame on your MIL for butting in. She had her turn to do things her way. This is your time! You should feel free to do what you want.

Personal context: my MIL has been going on and on about how we need to have a boy, how she thinks it's a boy, etc. Every single time I see her it's the same thing! She's even started buying boy clothes. It's so presumptuous and that kind of pressure just doesn't make sense to me. I was the unwanted girl baby when my parents desperately wanted a boy. It's something that's bugged me for years. Why was I somehow not good enough, just because I wasn't a boy?? I'd love my LO no matter what the sex.

As it turns out, we are having a boy, and I'm actually dreading MIL finding out. Because she couldn't give it a rest, it makes me feel negatively about telling them anything!

Thanks! You made me feel a lot better about it all. It just drives me bonkers! My father in law is the same way as your mother in law. He keeps going on that it's a boy or oh my grandson. He doesn't even know yet!! We don't! And he doesn't have anything to do with the grand daughter he already has that's 7 so I just feel uncomfortable that he is trying so hard with our child. He only comes to see us once a year if that. We hadn't seen him until this past September since our wedding in May of 2012. I just don't get it, but I feel like he doesn't have the say of what he thinks it is for one and he shouldn't be putting the pressure on me for it to be a boy like he is. Like you said too. I totally agree with you there

mp03jp

my MIL thinks you need to cook turkey an hour per pound. But it's going to into the oven at midnight and coming out at 10 am. I bought extra jarred gravy

My MIL used to really irritate me but she's gotten a lot better and this is my major complaint right now

Sunshine4020

Is there a bitch about what my husband did thread?!

Nita2603

My ILs are really great people but my mother is a nutjob. I can vent about her in that thread too, right?

lgsdesigner

I don't really have any in-laws because his mother passed away, and his dad lives out-of-state and only visits once a year.
But....I DO have sibling/mother vents!

Snapdragon750

Nita2603 said:

My ILs are really great people but my mother is a nutjob. I can vent about her in that thread too, right?

I'll do it if you do it

chertmm

I don't think vents have to be only about in laws. Feel free to bitch ANY family frustrations!

Nita2603

Snapdragon750 said:

Nita2603 said:

My ILs are really great people but my mother is a nutjob. I can vent about her in that thread too, right?

I'll do it if you do it

Deal.