Sleep Training Survivors Thread

LittleLady77 · November 2014

Sleep training has been an interesting ride for us. We did it at almost 6 months (they are over 7 months now). We tried the no cry methods first then moved to Ferber. I'm a bit of a fanatic and research everything and did stuff EXACTLY as the plans laid them out.

With our daughter, the no cry methods worked perfectly within 2 weeks. She can self soothe, I can say good night and set her in her crib totally awake and she instantly relaxes and puts herself out, for naps and at night. It was a dream.

Our son was the complete opposite. The no cry methods did nothing for him, he would just get more and more frustrated. When we moved to Ferber is was difficult too. It certainly wasn't the 3 days most people who stick to the plan see. I suppose I should clarify that we just did Ferber for putting him to bed. He doesn't wake much once down so we didn't do MOTN stuff.

The first night he cried for over an hour, in fact he cried for long periods of time for almost a week. It wasn't until we did CIO for naps too that things started to take effect. Now, about 1.5 months in he still cries for 2-3 minutes on occasion.

So to any moms out there wondering what they are doing wrong, know this... not all kids are created equal. We did the exact same things with our twins and the outcomes were drastically different. I honestly thought that sleep training would be maybe 2 bad weeks then all would be fantastic and that's just not the case for all kids.

Teresa1896 · November 2014

A week after I started the Sleepeasy Solution method, LO is sleeping through the night! Our main problem was night wakeups, which it addresses beautifully. I'm so happy! And well-rested!

hlm184 · November 2014

Guys, DS only woke up once between 7pm and 5am! And then I got him to sleep from 6am to 7am!

cd92007 · November 2014

@teresa1896 did you try doing the dream feed before LO's usual night wakings/feedings? Is that what worked for you? I really want to try that but DS has inconsistent times (anywhere between 1 and 3) and I'm so afraid if I go in and disturb him he will be up for a while!

Teresa1896 · November 2014

cd92007 said:
@teresa1896 did you try doing the dream feed before LO's usual night wakings/feedings? Is that what worked for you? I really want to try that but DS has inconsistent times (anywhere between 1 and 3) and I'm so afraid if I go in and disturb him he will be up for a while!

I did the best I could, but he wasn't waking up at any consistent times either. The shortest interval between wakeups was 2 hours so I woke up every 2 hours to dreamfeed him, shortening each feeding by a minute every night until they were gone. My LO was so sleepy he didn't even really wake up to feed- it was purely reflex. The feedings didn't disturb his sleep.

chelly2389 · November 2014

Has anyone tried putting a Stuffed animal in the crib? It works
Wonders for us. As soon as she was able to lift up her head and roll over I put it in her crib at the age of four months. I put the pacifier in her mouth and she puts her arm around her pink bear and falls right to sleep. Worth a shot.

hope this helps

CMesser2013 · November 2014

I know a lot of you had posted about teething throwing a wrench in your sleep training...

LO was sleeping great for a solid two weeks (like through the night with no wake ups) but now we are fighting off an ear infection and I have to think a tooth is breaking through..

He was up twice last night and struggled to go back down and just woke up after only being down for a few hours tonight. I went in to soothe him once and it took about 30 mins of pretty hard crying to go back down...

He doesn't seem to be sleeping soundly. He would typically go down, roll over on his tummy and be PASSED OUT! The past two nights he falls right asleep on his back.

Any thoughts/ suggestions? Do we just ride this out?

CalinAZ · November 2014

I was just wondering the same thing. LO's tooth just broke through so I'm thinking things might be rougher tonight. We've been doing this sleep training thing for almost a month now, and keep getting sidelined. Two teeth, plus a cold

.

I think you just ride it out and triage things after LO is better, but I really have no idea. I don't know what to do if/when LO wakes up. Treat it normal since he hasn't really been too extra fussy? Or feed whenever he wakes up, and probably undo (again) all the work we've done.

Good luck tonight!

cd92007 · November 2014

We have also hit a little bit of a regression... He was doing so well but lately he has been screaming when we put him down. I don't know if it's teething.. Separation anxiety.. It's so hard because they say don't go back to rocking them to sleep because it sends mixed messages but then it's ok if it's teething or illness... But how do you know if it's teething?? DS has had the "signs" of teething for weeks.

kmos816 · November 2014

cd92007 said:

Has anyone experienced sleep training, and then LO getting a cold? We did sleep training and it worked PERFECTLY.. he turned into a perfect sleeper. Then DS got a cold and now his sleep has been terrible. He's had it for about a week now and still has a stuffy nose and cough. Our pedi said to not do any crying it out while he still has symptoms. So... we have resorted back to rocking/bouncing him to sleep since when we put him down awake he cries hard.

Has anyone been through this? Were you able to re-establish good sleep habits once they get better? I feel like all our hard work went down the drain

I have not...... however in reading t

cd92007 said:

We have also hit a little bit of a regression... He was doing so well but lately he has been screaming when we put him down. I don't know if it's teething.. Separation anxiety.. It's so hard because they say don't go back to rocking them to sleep because it sends mixed messages but then it's ok if it's teething or illness... But how do you know if it's teething?? DS has had the "signs" of teething for weeks.

This was C last night- she would scream whenever we put her down in the MOTN, not sure if it was teething or maybe seperation anxiety? I was able to get her to sleep by laying her on her belly and parting her back. Her top two teeth just broke through, not sure if it's still painful or if more are on the way!

Jodash24 · November 2014

Not sure if I've already posted in this one but I had awful trouble with lo sleeping. Sorry if it's long.

my schedule for the last 6 months was lo slept whenever through the day and I tried not to let him sleep after 530-6pm thinking it would make him more tired for bedtime. He would scream for around 2 hrs before putting down for the night, then we would in and out his room re settling him then up every 2 hours for feeds.

now I try schedule naps 9am 12-1pm 3-4pm and 5-6pm, only for approx under hour. He goes down for the night at 10pm, no fussing!

We are on day 6 with this new 5-6pm nap and its a miracle, I don't understand how it works but it do!

Last night he went 11pm - 5.45am then a feed, then 7am- 10am, the best sleep he's ever had! The only down side is he's going to bed late so no baby free time, but we are getting sleep so win win

ladygali · November 2014

Lately it has been taking two or more hours to get DS to fall asleep and stay asleep. I'm beyond frustrated, resentful of DH and his relaxing evenings, DH is frustrated that I'm frustrated, and it's a huge mess. So, DH has done some research on CIO and will be tackling it the next two nights while I'm out because I can't handle it and don't entirely agree with it. I can't stand the thought of DS screaming and no one coming to help him. That being said, I have no idea what else to do about bedtime. I'll take any words of encouragement you have. TIA.

CalinAZ · November 2014

@elyse4281 - have you (or DH) read the Ferber book? I highly recommend before you start. It's much easier to follow when you know all the reasoning. Also, I tried to do my own (based off of the Ferber method) at first, and it just made things worse. I've figured out I need to trust the experts with this

ladygali · November 2014

@CalinAZ‌ no we haven't. I was looking at Ferber, and the SleepEasy Solution is requested from the library. I told DH I thought we should do some more research before we just jump in, but I have to be gone for a rehearsal tomorrow evening so he wants to try. We shall see. I'm just nervous, that's all.

CalinAZ · November 2014

@elyse4281 - Well, one of the things that made me feel much better was how the book talked about how if your child was going to do something potentially dangerous or bad for them (like touch something hot or want to play into the street), no matter how much they cried, you wouldn't give in because you were doing what was best for them. Not being able to sleep by themselves (and, at least in our case, waking up every 2ish hours, and having to cry and eat in order to get back to sleep) isn't good for them. At least for my son, he was super cranky all the time and always seemed tired.

And, the gist (which you probably figured out) is to go in in specific intervals to soothe, so that you know they are crying, not because they are lonely and feel abandoned, but because they are angry that things are changing.

I'm sure things will go just fine! Good luck

ladygali · November 2014

Thank you. That analogy makes sense and I do think DS needs more sleep than he gets. Fingers crossed.

juniper75 · November 2014

That type of reasoning helped me too. Before we did CIO it was taking me forever to get LO down and she was crying and fussing as much during my rocking, bouncing etc.. as she ever did with CIO. Now I don't dread bedtime anymore. We still have some issues to resolve with wakeups during the night but overall things are better.

snowbound · November 2014

LO falls asleep on his own in the crib just after nursing (which I should probably stop). However, he is still constantly waking up every few hours. It wasn't like this until he got teeth. Any of you experiencing something similar? What's working for you? @CalinAZ‌ your situation seems similar to mine. Any luck with the wake ups?

CalinAZ · November 2014

@snowbound - we're finally making progress! We did the increasing by 30 minutes each night between feedings. Where we initally went wrong was, to make it "easier" on him, we planned to do each time increment until he didn't cry beforehand. That got us from waking every 1-2 hours to waking every 3 hours, but then we got stuck, because he was still just relying on feeding for sleep. We wasted at least a week on this, which I feel horrible about, because it was just unnecessary crying.

We finally made progress when I gave in to the real Ferber and actually started increasing by 30 minutes each night. When we reached 5 hours between feedings, we had a breakthrough. Up to that point, he was just crying when he woke up after 3 hours until we fed him, even if that was an hour later (I have a stubborn boy

). Once we got to the 5 hours, it was just too long and he has actually been falling back asleep! He's been sleeping for another 2-3 hours once that happens.

So, it was super rough for a couple days, but it's so much better. Last night he only cried for 5 minutes at that first wake up and then went back down until 1:30 (he goes to bed at 7). Our rule now is no feeding before 1am, which seems fair, and then letting him cry after that next wake up until he falls asleep (if it isn't close to wake up time), but then feeding him the next time he wakes up. So this morning he woke at 5, went back to sleep at 5:30, and then woke for keeps at 6:30.

Sorry for the novel - I'm just so thrilled that we're making progress after so many setbacks. Wish I had just followed the book from the get go $:\$ ">

CatherineDC2012 · November 2014

Just bought the no cry sleep
Solution book, I'm desperate. My LO was sleeping 12 hrs from 3
Months. Then we moved across country and the transition period at 6-7 months has her all
Over the place! She was in her pack and play In different rooms and places. 3-4 wake ups now and SO HUNGRY when she wakes up! Maybe she's not, just seeming so? We EBF. It's been 2.5 weeks of this , can't be a growth spurt?? Too long right? I'm delirious. Between unpacking and setting up house and no sleep, btw we do two twenty minute naps per day, I'm about to lose my mind!

emilyann64 · December 2014

I need a little help with deciding to go back to sleep training. We've tried it once before, but she wasn't ready. I've read a couple of books and I think we're ready to try again.

My problem is that she just got her two top teeth and she just started crawling. When she wakes up, (every hour or 2) she either sits up or stands. I feel like I read that you're not supposed to sleep train when they're achieving a milestone. Would you say she is over that since she is already crawling? Or should we wait? Also, when I go in do I try to sit her down or lay her down? I'm so desperate for more sleep!

Thanks to anyone who tries to help me

hlm184 · December 2014

emilyann64 said:

I need a little help with deciding to go back to sleep training. We've tried it once before, but she wasn't ready. I've read a couple of books and I think we're ready to try again. My problem is that she just got her two top teeth and she just started crawling. When she wakes up, (every hour or 2) she either sits up or stands. I feel like I read that you're not supposed to sleep train when they're achieving a milestone. Would you say she is over that since she is already crawling? Or should we wait? Also, when I go in do I try to sit her down or lay her down? I'm so desperate for more sleep! Thanks to anyone who tries to help me

I think you're okay. M does this too - every time I put him down, he pops right back up to sit. I had to just make myself leave and he figured out pretty quickly how to lay back down and go to sleep himself.

emilyann64 · December 2014

Thank you so much! It's nice to hear it from someone else.

cjpell0 · December 2014

I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated with sleep training. We started back in September and while DSs sleep has SLIGHTLY improved, it's still pretty bad. He was going down sleepy, but awake and then one cold after another plus 2 teeth and a cold and crawling/pulling up/cruising has pretty much killed it. If he keeps getting sick, I'm hesitant to even retrain when he's better because it feels like most nights are him just crying.

Any thoughts, positive words, etc?

kmos816 · December 2014

I'm glad this was resurrected I could use some advice.... We've tried sleep training but I don't think c was ready and I was not!
Well, now she puts herself back to sleep at night when she wakes up at night (no sleep training for this- she just started doing it) but I have to put her down while she is already asleep initially. If I put her down awake she screams and gets all worked up, so I need to bounce her to sleep. She clearly knows how to put herself to sleep, any advice on what to do?

Teresa1896 · December 2014

Ugh. Had LO sttn in a week a few months ago, then over vacation he started getting up more, and now he's up every 2 hrs. Not hungry but needs to nurse back to sleep- is out again within 4 minutes. Waiting for my parents to leave over the holidays to sleep train him again. I miss sleep.

hlm184 · December 2014

kkaew816 said:

I'm glad this was resurrected I could use some advice.... We've tried sleep training but I don't think c was ready and I was not! Well, now she puts herself back to sleep at night when she wakes up at night (no sleep training for this- she just started doing it) but I have to put her down while she is already asleep initially. If I put her down awake she screams and gets all worked up, so I need to bounce her to sleep. She clearly knows how to put herself to sleep, any advice on what to do?

Have you done stepped soothing at bedtime now that you know she knows how to put herself to sleep?

kmos816 · December 2014

hlm184 said:

kkaew816 said:

I'm glad this was resurrected I could use some advice.... We've tried sleep training but I don't think c was ready and I was not!
Well, now she puts herself back to sleep at night when she wakes up at night (no sleep training for this- she just started doing it) but I have to put her down while she is already asleep initially. If I put her down awake she screams and gets all worked up, so I need to bounce her to sleep. She clearly knows how to put herself to sleep, any advice on what to do?

Have you done stepped soothing at bedtime now that you know she knows how to put herself to sleep?

We have tried it but not recently- I suppose we should give it another shot!

emilyann64 · December 2014

Started again tonight! It took her 30 minutes with 2 check ins. Not bad! She did fall asleep slumped against the bumper so I went in and moved her.

No advice on MOTN feeds, as we just started again, but I'm anxious to hear the advice.

Suzanne237 · December 2014

We are in the same boat as @emilyann64‌ was of teething then leap now he's crawling and standing on his own and needs us to lay him down. That worked for a bit but now even that keeps him screaming. Now it seems he stops after a few min of us holding him but he wants held till he falls asleep. He never did self soothe but u could put him down as he was almost asleep. Now he needs to be put down completely asleep. Wonder weeks says he should be entering a leap but he has done a lot of that leap's milestones already. @hlm184‌ that's good to know to just try leaving and letting the figure it out how to lay back down. He can go from standing to sitting when awake playing during the day so I know he can do it. Would you ladies say to give it a try? He sleeps about a 5 hr stretch (7-12) then up every 2 hrs. I usually don't feed the first wakeup, yes feed at 2, then again at 4/4:30, and he's basically up for the day after that. Then it's just 1/2 hr naps every 4 hrs. I'm so confused. Haven't tried CIO yet. So I could use some direction. Thanks.

hlm184 · December 2014

If he's EBF, feeding a few times a night is not unreasonable. Mine eats 1-3x a night and the 1x has only happened once! Usually it's two or three.

CalinAZ · December 2014

Just started again after finally kicking this cold (and waking every hour during it), and am so happy that it seems like he is "remembering" what to do more than I feared. We did 3 hours between feedings the first night and 4 hours last night, and there was minimal crying both nights - maybe 20 minutes at a time the first night and maybe 5 at a time last night. If we can just get to two feedings a night before all the holiday craziness, I will be thrilled.

Zachysmommy · December 2014

We did not have to transition from rnp to crib but when I did sleep training we did have to get rid of the Merlin sleep suit (what a savior it was from like 3-6 months but boy was it a bitch to get rid of). We did it all at once. It was a heck of a 2 nights but he adjusted well. We did sleep easy solution and it worked well for us. We still have some bad nights but it's usually just bc of teeyhing or learning a new skill. The sleep easy basically changed our lives. I would do the training and the crib at the same time. As long as you are doing stepped soothing your baby won't feel abandoned in a new place. Otherwise you are just going to prolong your pain. I hope this is helpful!! Also read the reviews online as you listen to baby cry. It helps to know that the heartache is worth it!!! Best of luck!!

emilyann64 · December 2014

I would definitely do the transition all at once. If she's going to get used to sleeping a different way, it may as well be the way you want her to sleep from now on.

I'm finally relaxing after being so stressed tonight. Caroline has been going down in under 10 minutes but tonight it was an hour! It just makes me feel like something was wrong. Ugh! My poor baby. It's nights like these that make me rethink the whole sleep training thing. Thank goodness my husband is a wonderful support.

Rachnan · December 2014

LO has been doing pretty well at night (minus the standing up and crying because he can't get down), but we would really like to train him for napping. The bulk of his naps he is either held or in his car seat. Every time we put him in the crib when he's tired, he just crawls around and stands up and cries and gets second wind. Any advise on nap time? My husband is a SAHD and really needs to be able to put him down for naps!

BeckyF82 · December 2014

So we tried the Cry It Out method last night in order to try and get her to sleep a)in her crib in the nursery instead of in our bed and b) without her dummy as she seems to need it constantly in to sleep. I was a bit dubious but it's the school holidays and I said to DH if we were going to risk not getting any sleep ourselves, now was the time to do it.

We let her cry for 3 mins, 5 mins and then 8 mins soothing her and patting her each time I went in. When I left after soothing her after the 8 minute cry she just went to sleep on her own! I kept expecting her to wake back up but she didn't. That was at 9.30pm last night. It's now 8.30am the following morning and she still isn't awake! I can see her breathing on the monitor and occasionally she wriggles but she has been asleep for 11 uninterrupted blissful hours! Yay!

Suzanne237 · December 2014

@Rachnan‌ this is us exactly only SAHM.

I'd love to get some advice too. Our LO will sleep in crib at night and for naps but the naps are only 30 min. Sleeping in car or anywhere else they can be 45-2 hrs.

myla14 · December 2014

I really worry sometimes something is making L physically uncomfortable at night. I know Ferber says there's no disorder that only hurts when they're not being held, but....we're working on spacing feedings, and last night after 2am (fed at 11 pm, 2:30 am, 7 am) he woke up every 20-45 mins til 6 am. I took him to bedshare in the guest room and he'd alllllmost drift off, then clench up, roll over, and start almost sleep rocking on his hands and knees, then crash onto his face. Over and over. In his awake life, he's well mastered crawling, so I don't think he's practicing. Ear ache, gas, naturally terrible sleeper.....? I feel like I can never really sleep train if I'm worried he's uncomfortable.

kmos816 · January 2015

So we are on day 4 of the Ferber method and it's going well- no crying at bedtime and minimal at nap time (just one check in) however her nap lengths have gotten shorter than they were when I soothed her to sleep.... Is this common?

ladygali · January 2015

Just starting the SleepEasy solution tonight. Currently waiting on the third check in and he's still crying, although there are very short periods of no crying. I hope this works!

Want a personalized experience?

Sleep Training Survivors Thread

Re: Sleep Training Survivors Thread

Choose Another Board

Search Boards