Sleep Training Survivors Thread

hlm184

penguinjenny said:

I said the exact same thing to my husband about if he would want to sleep in throw up and he said "she'll be fine." I really need to just trust myself more. I'll have to look into no crying sleep training because you are right. I am not ok with the situation.

Yeah, trust yourself.  Nothing against DHs in general or particular, but I've noticed mine is a lot more... detached?  about the whole thing.  He doesn't think things through, not with the baby as #1.

cd92007

I second @dani+california‌. We tried sleep training at 4.5 months and it was a hot mess. Every day it got worse and worse, instead of better. DS clearly wasn't ready. So after 3 days I stopped. We just did it again this weekend, a month later. And I can honestly say it's been one of the best things we could have ever done. The first few days were so upsetting.. He cried, I cried. But we stuck with it and I'm soooooooooo glad we did! We started on Friday and here it is Tuesday and DS is going down awake with almost no crying, taking twice as long naps, and is even falling asleep on his own when playing and in the car - before he would just get super cranky if he was tired and cry a lot. This morning he was tired so he just rested his head down on his play mat- we were shocked!!!!! We still need to work on nighttime feedings and early wake time. He has been waking to eat at night at such random times, so I'm waiting on weaning him for now because he still usually only wakes once per night. And he's been waking early, like 5:30... But that's after 10 hours of sleep, so I'm ok with that! I also want to add- I first started reading Ferber but that is a lot to read when you are constantly trying to get your baby to sleep.... So I read Sleepeasy Solution which is essentially the exact same process (stepped soothing), but a much easier and more understanding read. I recommend that book to those of you interested in Ferber. What also helped me during the rough patches was reading all the amazon reviews for the sleepeasy solution book and hearing the success stories.

cjpell0

How are you ladies handling sickness/teething/etc in the middle of sleep training? 

For some back story, we started pupd a week ago. First night was horrible 1+ hours of crying/hiccups/coughing, we quit and I nursed. The next couple nights it was 20-30 minutes of crying/fussing and then DS would fall asleep (yay progress) we expected to see a regression around day 5-7. Come to find out DS is MAJORLY constipated and I think in pain from it. The past 2 nights have been much worse, during some of the put down's where my hand is on his back, I can feel him trying to push so I'm pretty sure fighting sleep has to do with his discomfort. I'm a little frustrated bc we were making such great progress and I hope we don't need to start from square one but on the other hand, I don't want a "sick" baby to be so upset. 

Thoughts/suggestions? I'm leaning towards continuing to attempt the sleep training but if he ends up hysterical to just nurse to sleep. 

On a side note, I have a call into the ped to see what we should do re: the constipation since nothing has helped so far. 

juniper75

What have you tried for the constipation so far?

cjpell0

Adding in more water to his diet, warm bath, stopping solids except prune, stopping iron, thermometer, bicycling legs, tummy massage, increasing tummy time. 

Ped said to add in 6oz of prune juice a day until he's back to normal otherwise we're doing everything they would suggest. I'm 100% open to any additional suggestions!

juniper75

I would ask your pedi about glycerine suppositories. We have had to use them twice with our LO (pedi says they are fine). They work within an hour. Its not something you would want to have to do on a regular basis but it works to get things unplugged and moving again once you have tried other remedies and your LO is uncomfortable. We have kids ones that we cut in half because they are too big for a babe LO's age.

cjpell0

Thanks! I'm going to give the prune juice a whirl tonight and if that doesn't work I'll call about the suppositories tomorrow. 

jgallegos

I will be doing the sleep easy solution within the next few nights and I'm really nervous about it! Reading these have helped my anxiety a bit though. Those who have done this method how are things now?

cd92007

@jgallegos it's been a week for us and I can honestly say it's the best parenting choice we have made so far. He is a completely different baby!! We lay him down in the crib and 98% of the time he just rolls over, nestles in and falls asleep. Sometimes he fusses a little but really not too bad. Complete opposite from before where it was like a three ring circus trying to get him down and then he would just wake up 40 min later. He's even taking 2 hour naps now and he slept through the night the other night! It's really rough the first couple days (I'm not going to lie... I cried a lot, too) but it's soooooooooo so so so worth it.

jgallegos

@cd92007‌ thank you sooooo much for the reply. I read this in the midst of crying. Him and me. But he cried a total 20 minutes and fell asleep. Hopefully the rest of the night goes well too!!

juniper75

@jgallegos. Fingers crossed for you. Let us know how it went.

OliveOyl2014

Morning! Hope you all don't mind if I join in here! Last night was a disaster! LO was still sleeping swaddled and in the pack n play, so I decided to rip off the band aid and put her in the crib unswaddled. She played for ten minutes and fell asleep. After an hour she woke up screaming. We calmed her down and she fell back asleep, but the same thing happened about twenty minutes later. After this happening a few more times I put her in bed with me and she slept her longest stretch ever. We plan to sleep train soon but wanted to get her in the crib and unswaddled first. Should I have unswaddled her and left her in the pack n play or swaddled her and put her in the crib? I'm not even sure what to do with her tonight. We don't want to rely on the swaddle but she thrashes so much without it. Any help would be appreciated! Thanks!

jgallegos

Last night when better than I thought! I put LO down at 730 and he played for about 10 minutes then cried for twenty. He fell asleep at 8. Woke at 840 and cried out twice and fell back asleep. He woke up again at 130. He cried for thirty minutes and fell back asleep until 645. Will be working on naps today. Hoping things just get better from here.

SmallCityLiving

Those of you working on night weaning, how do you decide when to feed LO when they wake up and when to let them cry/fuss themselves back to sleep? We're going down well now but still struggle with the wake ups.

cd92007

OliveOyl2014 said:

Morning! Hope you all don't mind if I join in here! Last night was a disaster! LO was still sleeping swaddled and in the pack n play, so I decided to rip off the band aid and put her in the crib unswaddled. She played for ten minutes and fell asleep. After an hour she woke up screaming. We calmed her down and she fell back asleep, but the same thing happened about twenty minutes later. After this happening a few more times I put her in bed with me and she slept her longest stretch ever. We plan to sleep train soon but wanted to get her in the crib and unswaddled first. Should I have unswaddled her and left her in the pack n play or swaddled her and put her in the crib? I'm not even sure what to do with her tonight. We don't want to rely on the swaddle but she thrashes so much without it. Any help would be appreciated! Thanks!

I would try sleep training right away. We "ripped off the bandaid" and got rid of the Merlin suit right when we started sleep training. If they are going to be upset and wake a lot.. You may as well just go through it once it may help her learn that crib = sleep unswaddled rather than just a strange place she's in for a little bit and then go sleep with mommy

juniper75

SmallCityLiving said:

Those of you working on night weaning, how do you decide when to feed LO when they wake up and when to let them cry/fuss themselves back to sleep? We're going down well now but still struggle with the wake ups.

I sort of go by how long its been. First I spent a week writing down wake up times to see if there was a pattern. For example in admidst her 6 or so wake ups a night I noticed she always woke up somewhere between 12 and 2 and again between 4 and 4:30. I decided to keep those as my night feeds - I am ok for now still getting up twice, we were getting up wayyy more than that before.

At this age they should easily be able to go a 5-6 hour stretch in the beginning, so I don't feed before we hit the 5 hour mark. After that I aim for 3 hour increments as a minimum (or close enough to).

Right now I am breaking my own rules and have allowed an extra feed at around 11 because we breastfeed and she is teething and I think she needs the extra comfort. I will work on cutting that one out when I feel like she's back to herself.

SoulTermination

Is "stepped soothing" the Ferber method? We need to do something, I'm beyond tired of not being able to get anything done because she has to sleep on someone or near someone, or she wakes up freaking out. I tried to put her in her crib for a nap this afternoon and now every time I rock her to sleep, she screams bloody murder every time I try and get out of the chair. x.x;;;

juniper75

Yes - stepped soothing is Ferber.

juniper75

Yes its so important to research and plan. Its also important to understand that your LO's sleep will still regress even after sleep training during times like teething and sickness, growth spurts etc... So you shouldn't start sleep trainng during these times. We are going through this now. Just as we were finally figuring things out my LO is back to getting up 5-6 times a night right now due to teething.

cd92007

I totally agree about having a plan, too, and you have to really stick with it and stay consistent! Plus it helps having a book to read during the really hard parts... It helps reading it over and over when you just want to give in and quit.

cjpell0

SoulTermination said:

Is "stepped soothing" the Ferber method? We need to do something, I'm beyond tired of not being able to get anything done because she has to sleep on someone or near someone, or she wakes up freaking out. I tried to put her in her crib for a nap this afternoon and now every time I rock her to sleep, she screams bloody murder every time I try and get out of the chair. x.x;;;

I agree with picking a method, or adapting methods to fit something you're comfortable with and sticking with it. We do a kind of pick up put down method because our DS doesn't calm down at all with crying. He will calm down if we go check on him and after about 2 weeks we've finally been able to put him down drowsy but awake and he'll fuss but fall asleep. Some methods take longer than others and eventually we'll need to work on getting him down 100% awake but for the time being, I'll take it. 

In regards to feedings, our son now wakes 2x/night to eat, around 11 and 2. His long stretch is oddly enough at the end of the night (2-6/7)

hlm184

So, DS has started sleeping about 5 hours the first time he goes down - YAY!

Unfortunately, on nights he does this, the rest of the night is horrendous.  Best case is he'll be up every two hours.  Frequently less.  Frustrating, since that is when I've managed to get to bed.

But it's progress!

jgallegos

Sleep has been going really well for us. DS goes down with a peep and will roll over and go right to sleep. It's been awesome. Well last night he decided to start cutting a tooth. Anyone go through while in the midst of sleep training? Everything I read says to do anything to comfort and once the tooth is through sleep will get better again. I'm just nervous I'm gonna have to start all over.

juniper75

We just cut two teeth on the heels of sleep training so I am about to find out. We had a lot of wakeups while she was teething but she went back down easily after nursing. The second tooth came through last night. Naps seem to be getting better first. I am anxious to see what night sleep is like for the next few nights.

jgallegos

@juniper75‌ this may sound like a dumb question but when the tooth actually comes out how far out is it? My little has two white spots on the top and on the bottom one actually pokes me. It's pretty sharp lol but I can hardly see it

ambarnett1

No tooth, but teething and waking up extra. It sucks.

juniper75

@jgallegos. That's a tooth! Just the tip of it. It will gradually pop out more over time! Sometimes they can even go back down again and then come back up. Teething affects babies differently. My first didn't have a hard time with teething. She had the odd fussy night where I had to give her some advil to keep her comfy but those were way in advance of seeing a tooth. It's like she would have a bad couple of nights and then two weeks later we'd see a tooth. She didn't get her first until 9 months. This LO teeths very differently. She gets real cranky, her gums get very red, so much drool and she's a beast until it breaks through.

jgallegos

@juniper75 thanks!!! He's been in a pretty good mood all afternoon so I was curious if that's ones done and I should go back to training. I dunno we'll see how tonight goes.

steph1977

Starting Ferber method tonight. Beginning by stretching out MOTN feedings. Wish me luck -- I hope it's not as rough as I think it'll be.

juniper75

@steph1977. Good luck! The first night is always the worst so don't get discouraged.

steph1977

I survived night one! Really wasn't so bad -- about 45 min of painful crying before I could feed him. Moving up to 4 hr. feeding intervals tonight. Does this really work?? I'm desperate for a solution -- FAST!

CalinAZ

We're jumping in stretching out the feedings tonight - have read the first half of Ferber so far. We're starting easy with just 2 hour intervals to try to get rid of those hour/hour and a half chunks towards early morning. We're also ditching the pacifier, since LO never uses it to fall asleep at the beginning of the night (falls asleep happy and awake in his bed). Hoping since we're going for a relatively short chunk it won't be so bad!

Those that have stretched out feedings with Ferber, did the daily increases really work for you? These 5+ feedings a night are really getting to be way too much.

juniper75

Yay. I think our teething is over with for now - or the painful part anyways. LO only got up twice to eat last night and got up close to 7 instead of at 5. I am soooo hopeful for tonight!

ambarnett1

DS did good with sleep training, but since vacation he has been a mess. Last night he went back to 3 wake ups and wouldn't fall asleep unless fed. This morning he was been fussy and crying a lot. Idk if it's a tooth or what. I really don't know what to do. Any guidance?

Teresa1896

My Sleepeasy Solution came yesterday, yay! I already raced through the first half or so. Can't wait to start... And get sleep. I cannot handle the 3-5 wakeups and still function at work.

CalinAZ

Well, I'm a total believe with Ferber now! Granted, last night could have been a fluke, but LO cried so much less than when we picked him up to soothe when we tried to spread out feedings before. When he woke up less than 2 hours after his last feeding, we did 3 minutes of crying, then DH went over to soothe, and he fell asleep after a couple more minutes, before the next check in. Even better, we were able to have him sleep without the pacifier! I think there was only one other time where we had to do the stepped soothing, and it was also short lived. We heard him very briefly a few other times, but he settled himself quickly. Feedings were every 2-3 hours (2 hours was the minimum) and I'm optimistic about going to 2.5 hours between feedings!

And, LO woke up sweet and happy (well, after crying to get our attention) and not starving. No hard feelings, I think

After reading what felt like every sleep book out there (Baby Whisperer, Happiest Baby on the Block Guide to Sleep, No Cry Sleep Solution, Sleep Lady's Guide), Ferber ironically resulted in the least amount of crying, I think because it was so structured. Fingers crossed tonight goes well!

steph1977

We had a pretty good night as well (thank you, Ferber)! We're up to 4 hr stretches between feedings. LO woke up once before the 4 hr block, but I was able to soothe him w/out too much crying and he slept for another hour. Trying for a 4.5 hr stretch tonight! So wish that naps were better, but hopefully soon I won't be as exhausted during the day and better able to deal. Glad to hear others are getting good results!

@ambarnett1‌ Try not to get your LO in the habit of eating too much at night if he was doing well w/out it. Traveling seems to always mess up our sleep here as well. Can you attempt to stretch out feedings to 3+ hrs and go from there? Good luck!

hlm184

CalinAZ said:

We're jumping in stretching out the feedings tonight - have read the first half of Ferber so far. We're starting easy with just 2 hour intervals to try to get rid of those hour/hour and a half chunks towards early morning. We're also ditching the pacifier, since LO never uses it to fall asleep at the beginning of the night (falls asleep happy and awake in his bed). Hoping since we're going for a relatively short chunk it won't be so bad!

Those that have stretched out feedings with Ferber, did the daily increases really work for you? These 5+ feedings a night are really getting to be way too much.

They worked... to an extent.  It got us down to three wakeups, at least, which I can handle for now.  He's getting closer to dropping the first feeding too, I think.

jgallegos

Ugh! I could kill DH. Things have been going fairly well here, I can put LO down awake and walk away and he will happily go to sleep. I have been trying to night wean and he's been doing pretty good. Well two nights ago he woke up at 500am so I was doing check ins and he was still pissed after about 20 minutes. I was snuggling with DH to help me through and out of no where he throws me and the covers of and says fuck this and goes to get the baby. I was like NO what are you doing if you get him now he's totally gonna get mixed signals! So I ended up getting DS and feeding him and so last night DS was up 5 times! Now I feel so discouraged and don't want to put DS through that again. AGHUGHUAGH! Rant over.

cd92007

Has anyone experienced sleep training, and then LO getting a cold? We did sleep training and it worked PERFECTLY.. he turned into a perfect sleeper. Then DS got a cold and now his sleep has been terrible. He's had it for about a week now and still has a stuffy nose and cough. Our pedi said to not do any crying it out while he still has symptoms. So... we have resorted back to rocking/bouncing him to sleep since when we put him down awake he cries hard.

Has anyone been through this? Were you able to re-establish good sleep habits once they get better? I feel like all our hard work went down the drain