Open Letter Wednesday

PeanutButterFox · November 2014

Dear Universe,

You are a cruel bitch. It's bad enough you gave me a cold, but whatever it happens. Making my cough trigger my gag reflex was a dirty trick on it's own. But the fact that my cough drops make me nauseous? Super asshole-ish behavior, Universe. Not cool.

Fuck you with a sick dick,

Reese

[Deleted User] · November 2014

MrsButt said:

Dear @dragonblood13's STUPID EXH,

You're a big fucking dickhead.

Fuck off,

Parenting

Thanks.

It's a revelation that I learned last night while drinking all the booze and I just cannot believe it.

But it helps me to understand why people who were my friends have started treating me like a leper.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

nellybluthredux said:

You guys. Amazing potential catfish/potentially someone real happening over on June 13.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12337940/uo/p3

I haven't read all of it yet, but someone claims to be Bode/Body(?) Miller's wife. She posted pics and the deleted. Then started talking trash about his baby mama that he cheated on her with. Then the baby mama shows up. I don't know if it's real, but it's entertaining as all hell.

I am laughing so hard that I am crying.

The misspelling of Bode Miller's name is HI-larious. I know it's purposeful, but I can't stop laughing.

secretsout · November 2014

Dear online class host/teacher,

Please learn how to use Adobe Connect.

Thanks,

Me.

lildevil968 · November 2014

Dear DH

Don't fucking talk to me about spending money. You are the one costing us money right now because you fucking hit the garage door when backing out. I don't know how you managed to do it, but you did.

Dear MIL

When I call you to tell you how much weight I have managed to lose, the proper response is "thats great". The response you gave me "your not losing it fast enough, i think you should have lost more by now" is unacceptable, and hurtful.

Dear getting older

Fuck off, I hate you.

JNerd · November 2014

Dear friend I'm making cookies with,
What do you mean cookie dough isn't for eating?

Sincerely,
That's the best part

littlestjerry · November 2014

Dear life,

Why do you hate me?

Yours truly,

Little Jerry

ready-or-not · November 2014

Dear catering company handing our Thanksgiving lunch:

Would it have killed you to warm up the ham & rolls?!? Nobody wants ice cold ham & half frozen rolls for their Thanksgiving dinner. Also, your "homemade" stuffing is quite obviously Stove Top.

Thanks ~

still hungry Ready

ps: the Hershey's pie was spot on tho!

monkeybutt61612 · November 2014

Dear @lildevil968‌ MIL,

You're an asshole.

Appalled bumpie

[Deleted User] · November 2014

I just finished the Butthole Miller thread and I'm just...it's so crazy that I have no idea what to believe.

But also, I'm eating again, I still don't feel great and I forgot my advil at home. Send help.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

And I've had the same signature forever and I keep forgetting that I changed it.

PeanutButterFox · November 2014

Dear Self,

Why don't you ever pack enough food?!?!?! You should really just start doing a weekly grocery trip just to stock the work fridge. Or buy a much larger lunch bag.

Love,

You

jesuisfatiguee · November 2014

justAphase said:

Dear Locksmith,

I hope you enjoy my $100 and my dignity.

-Idiot who locked her keys in her car.
OMG! Next time call a cab company. It's like $35.

4real? Because damn it, it cost me $115.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

I just consumed about a billion calories and I still don't feel any better. Maybe I should take a nap.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

I am loving every moment of this thread.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

I think the wife is from Ca.....lifornia, not Canada.

@mrsbutt is from Canada.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

I'm fascinated by this story of Body Miller.

Moral of the story is that he should keep his d*ck in his pants.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

And who renames a kid?

PeanutButterFox · November 2014

My siggy has "fuck" in it currently.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

So much of this story pisses me off, but I the name thing is so weird and petty to me.

ready-or-not · November 2014

Dear accounting conference call ~

Thanks for letting me catch up on this thread.

Sincerely ~

Employee of the year

jesuisfatiguee · November 2014

Mackalien13 said:

My coworker legitimately just said "meaty oaker." I am not even kidding.

That's really upsetting.

PeanutButterFox · November 2014

I suddenly have a massive craving for Stouffer's veggie lasagna. Like, I could probably eat a whole pan.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

Dear Hangover,

Haven't you tortured me enough today??? Go away.

Love, DB

[Deleted User] · November 2014

Mackalien13 said:

DragonBlood13 said:

Dear Hangover,

Haven't you tortured me enough today??? Go away.

Love, DB

Have you eaten enough fried food?

Yes. I feel so disgusting. And my entire face is red because I busted all the blood vessels

[Deleted User] · November 2014

CFox815 said:

I'm finally caught up on the Brody Molder drama.

And then stalked a bit.

Baby Mama #3 seems to post a lot of pictures on social media with a little boy. Is that Baby Mama #2's son? Because I am not okay with that.

I agree. She constantly posts pictures calling him Nate/Nathaniel.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

CFox815 said:

DragonBlood13 said:

I agree. She constantly posts pictures calling him Nate/Nathaniel.

I feel so sad. As a disclaimer, I have stepparents that love me and I don't think there is anything wrong with taking pictures of your stepchildren. But this seems spiteful and using a child to hurt the mother. Adults should act like adults.

I completely agree that step parents have the right to post pictures, but there is something off about the way she does it and while this custody battle was happening.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

pobrecita said:

Who the fuck is body dade? Wait what's his name? WHO GIVES A SHIT.

Brody Milker

[Deleted User] · November 2014

Bottle Milner

[Deleted User] · November 2014

CTGirl30 said:

You guys. Amazing potential catfish/potentially someone real happening over on June 13.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12337940/uo/p3

I haven't read all of it yet, but someone claims to be Bode/Body(?) Miller's wife. She posted pics and the deleted. Then started talking trash about his baby mama that he cheated on her with. Then the baby mama shows up. I don't know if it's real, but it's entertaining as all hell.
June 13 is my BMB but I never get over tgere anymore! Must go check this out!!

You will be confused when you start reading because some posts have been deleted, but just keep going. It will all start making sense and then you will be like "OMG"

credcat7 · November 2014

Dear SO, 1) if you don't like where I put your shit, put it away yourself and then you would know where it was when you needed it. 2) If you think you are ever getting any action then try to figure out how I can NOt be doing chores and shit from 3pm till bedtime. I f I got a minute to breathe or realx maybe I would be in the mood later