Open Letter Wednesday

ready-or-not

Sound off below!

ready-or-not

Dear DH:

Your dirty socks in the floor by the recliner are my hill to die on. You will need to purchase new socks before I pick them up for you to put in the wash.

Love you lots!

Signed:
YW

ps: having the kids pick them up for you is also unacceptable. Pick up your damn socks!

JNerd

Dear sinuses,
If you are going to be such a twatwaffle, you need to find someone to watch the kids. I clearly cannot attend to both when you are being like this.
-j
Ps. I'm dying.

tbmadeamistake

Dear mother nature,

It is too early to be this fhxking cold. Worse than the cold is the dry. My cracking hands and staticky hair are not pleased with the lack of moisture. For the love of donuts, put a little moisture back into the air!

Lilygrace.

PeanutButterFox

Dear Wednesday,

Fuck off.

Sincerely,
Reese

slednecksmomma

Dear H,

Get your ducks in a row. I gave you 3+ months notice of what I wanted to happen for our anniversary. You have 2 weeks to make it happen, otherwise don't be surprised when I start sleeping in the other bedroom. Yes, it is that important to me.

Sincerely,
M

stra0111

Dear Cat,
I know that chicken drumstick in the garbage smells delicious, thanks so kindly for retrieving it yourself and dragging it across the clean kitchen floor, before I could get the garbage outside.

I could not give any fucks today though, and I know you will just do it again until I take it outside. So until then, have at it girl.

Love,
Your human

LightBright515

Dear Grad School,

Accept me.

Thanks,
LB.

NeneCakies

Dear Open Letter thread,

I know you are really the Randoms thread in disguise. I'm on to you.

Regards,
Nene

JNerd

Dear DS,
Mommy is sick and offering unlimited cartoons. Today is not the day to decide you would rather have stories and imaginative play instead.
Also, why the fuck were you up at 530 this morning?? And where did you et your energy? I would like some too, please.
Your mother that is currently being tortured by her sinuses, who also can't find the Kleenex so is using wipes as tissues.

stra0111

Dear H,
Stop "dropping hints" you should get new tires and rims for your mustang or a used dirt bike for Christmas.Ahahahahah. hahaha hah. HA no. Not going to happen.
a) I am not spending <$1000 on your Christmas present. What delusional world are you living in?
b) sorry but absolutely no more moneys are going into your "hobbies" you seem to think you still have. That mustang made it out of the garage a total 5 times this year. You don't have time for that, you surely don't have time for a dirt bike.

Sincerely,
Your realistic, fun- killing wife

PeanutButterFox

Dear skin,

I accept that acne is a part of the pregnancy package, I do. But I could really do without the unicorn horn I woke up with this morning.

Signed,

Super Self-Concious Today

JNerd

TyrannosaurusLex said:

Dear Parenting,

FTM dilemma here. Baby has wicked chest congestion (sounds like a purring cat when she breathes in and out) and is coughing and choking on her mucus, but no fever and is drinking normally.

Doc has an urgent care appt for us available at 7 pm, 1.5 hours after normal bedtime.

WWYD? I'm scared I'll miss pneumonia or something, but I also don't want to put her/us through hell staying up late.

Thanks,
Worried Wanda

@TyrannosaurusLex‌ getting checked out is always worth it, at the very least for your own peace of mind.
Fx LO feels better soon!

JNerd

Better to be 'that mom' and make sure your kids are okay rather than have them get really sick because you didn't want to take them in.
And everyone else can suck it.

[Deleted User]

Dear Body,

Act right!

Thanks,
GP

BluepointToasted

Dear Brain,

Did you ever hear of a happy medium?  It doesn't follow any logic that your life was bleak and miserable last night and today is full of sunshine and rainbows.  Why can't you learn to handle things like a simple spat with DH without turning it catastrophic? 

Sincerely,

BPT

MrsT0514

@TyrannosaurusLex‌ im sorry your babe is sick. Thats never fun and always scary. You're makin the right call to bring her in though. Hopefully its nothing more than a chest cold! Fx she feels better soon.

stra0111

Well now I feel bad about my previous Dear H letter. Re-do

Dear H,
Thank you for understanding this week has been unbelievably shitty and difficult and that DD2 has been SO fussy. When I text you this morning that I am desperately trying to hold onto a bit of sanity and patience, and you just answered "why you are the best mom ever", I swear my heart grew 10 sizes. You are in fact, the best.

Sincerely,
Your wife that feels like everything is suddenly better

tattooedtragedy

Dear H,

I know you wake up every day at an ungodly 3:30 am but could you please have some extra coffee or something today and try to stay up later than 8:30 tonight. Your new gym routine is really doing nice things and I'd like some alone time with you, it has been too long, seriously.

Sincerely,

Your Wife

mstal0929

Dear patients,

I understand you're in pain and that being yelled at comes with working in a doctors office, but please try to remember that I'm a person too and I'm here to help you. Words do hurt!

ready-or-not

Dear co-worker:

Please stop hanging around my desk so that I can keep up with my own damn thread!

Kthxbye

Signed:
Ready

msdrdg

Dear Child,

You are 4 years old, you do not need to wake up 4 times a night.  What the actual fuck was that all about? 

Love,

Your Mommy who needs more coffee

msdrdg

Dear Husband,

We have a king size bed for a reason.  I need my space.  I am not your pillow, you do not need to lay on me and snore/drool on me.  And don't bitch to me because you are tired in the morning.  You slept, ON ME! 

Shut the fuck up and get me some coffee,

Tired wife

nbartlett47

peanutrach1 said:

Dear DH,

Step up and figure out what to get your parents for Christmas and stop putting down all of my ideas - at least I am thinking about it! Also, just sending cash (your brilliant idea last night) is no bueno.

Love,
Your annoyed wife who has to come up with everyone's Christmas presents with no help

All of this. Christmas presents are stressing me the fuck out this year.

MrsT0514

Dear Son,

When will you realize that the bowl of dog food sitting on the kitchen floor is NOT for you? I know you seem to think its delicious, but I promise you, its not.

Love you, my smelly dog food breath child...

- Mama

ready-or-not

TyrannosaurusLex said:

Ok no it doesn't sound like a croup cough, but she does have the stridor breathing. It's a deep, rumbly, heavy sounding cough. Like you can just hear the crap in her lungs rattling around. I really need to get some chill. I cried watching youtubes of sick babies coughing.

I always worry about RSV with the babies. I know you've already decided to keep the appointment but I wanted to +1 that being a good idea.

ETA spelling bc WTH autocorrect

thebanich

Dear self,

You are a dumbass. Please learn to think.

Love,

Me

nbartlett47

Dear H,

Being the command center for our family is an exhausting and often thankless job. I know it comes with the territory, but still.

So when I ask you to step up and take care of something, whether it be paying a bill, emailing daycare, picking out Christmas gifts for our kid, or asking your mom what we can bring to Thanksgiving next week, the response of "but you're so much better at it" doesn't warm my heart, it pisses me off. I feel like I'm drowning some days, a little help would really go far.

Love,
Your overtired and under appreciated wife.

jesuisfatiguee

Dear Locksmith,

I hope you enjoy my $100 and my dignity.

-Idiot who locked her keys in her car.

PeanutButterFox

Dear FedEx Guy,

That was just my chair rubbing up against my desk, I swear. No, really! It was!

Truly,

Did-Not-Just-Loudly-Fart

Weebeebs

TyrannosaurusLex said:

Thanks guys, ok I'll keep the appointment. I'm always worried about being *that* mom.

I'm new but chiming in here...I was "That Mom" when my DD was 6 weeks old...took 10 days, 3 Dr. visits and 2 ER visits for her to be diagnosed with Pertussis. By then, we ended up spending 3 weeks in the PICU. I am, always and forever, "That Mom". No shame in it and any doctor that takes issue can suck it. 

ready-or-not

Dear Local Grocery store ~

When I called you a week ago & said "I need to pick up 130 frozen butterball turkeys to hand out to our employees on Nov 19th, & heres my # to call if you have any issues" that was me confirming that I needed 130 turkeys to pick up today, the 19th. Why when I called you yesterday to confirm my turkeys came in did you tell me you hadn't ordered them yet bc I never confirmed I needed them?!? I said I need them & left my number for questions! I've bought turkeys from you for years now WTF is this crap!

Signed ~

The lady who has to deal with the disgruntled non-turkey having employees

[Deleted User]

Dear self,

Why would you drink bourbon, gin, rum, vodka and red wine on a Tuesday?

Love, DB

[Deleted User]

Dear McDonalds,

Thank you for your amazing fountain Coke, hashbrowns and egg mcmuffins.  I almost didn't make it this morning.

Love, DB

ready-or-not

Dear Lottery Gods ~

We've been playing the same numbers every week since the beginning of the TN lottery. I swear to all that is holy if we could just hit 1 (multi million) time I will never ever play again.

Please oh please oh please [-O<

Signed ~
Ready

Weebeebs

Dear H,

I understand your job is stressful but do you for real need "me time" every damn evening until 6 pm? You realize my job is stressful, our daughter AND I are sick, and for the love of all that is holy, I could use some "me time" too. What are you even doing? I know you're not working out or at a bar....

Clarification Please? 

Your Friggin Tired Wife 

[Deleted User]

Dear exH,

Thanks for telling everyone that the reason we got a divorce is because I had an affair.  

I mean, you basically did, but I can understand your confusion (:|

Fuck off,

DB

stra0111

@JellyBellyStarr‌ our H ' s sound eerily similiar. DH has also mentioned all those things. Funny thing is, I am a country girl. But I have come to grips with the fact I no longer have hours to kill meandering through the woods on an off road adventure. And we have already done/had those things and I know how it works. They are money pits! Be happy the damn mustang is in your garage instead of someone else's and I'll be happy with this kitchen I have but I want to renovate, that ironically would cost, say...1 mustang!

tattooedtragedy

Dear Work Laptop,

 

Act right so I can do my holiday siggy! I finally found the perfect one.

 

Thanks!

 

[Deleted User]

Dear Larry the building maintenance guy,

You are really cute.  Like really super cute. 

How youuuu doin?

Love, DB

stra0111

Dear 3 year old child of mine,
Contrary to popular beliefs, I, in fact CAN.NOT.READ.YOUR.MIND! Therefore when I finish eating my macaroni and cheese, there is no need to scream "BUT I WANTED TO BEAT YOU!" and then free fall off your chair in a meltdown.

Love always,
Your mother, that just wants to make it out of the house at a decent time today.