I want to hold him/her first

Lezzie82 · November 2014

My FIL rudely barged into my recovery room without knocking and saw my boobs as I was trying to massage them. He was clearly not expecting to see that and dropped all the boxes of donuts he was carrying lol. Thank god none got ruined.

jesslfar · November 2014

Baby #1 was a complicated vaginal birth. They took her straight from me and set her on my chest which is where she was when they cut the cord. I only held her a minute because her agpar was low and they had to take her to the side to the isolette for a few minutes, but she went right back to me until I was ready to share, then she went to her dad and then to his mother. Baby#2 was to be set on my chest as soon as she was born, but the cord ending up being around her neck 4x and they instantly had to put her in the isolette and let the NICU nurses look at her. It was a c section and they were still stitching me up so when she was ok to be held Dad got to hold her first which was weird. I couldn't move and it was across the room and he had to bring her to me. Baby #3 if all goes right I get to hold first, then him and then anyone else in the room.

smurf605 · November 2014

DS2 was directly on my chest. They did any rubbing, APGAR score testing, etc. while baby was on my chest. They didn't bathe him for over 3 hours. I wouldn't trade that for the world. DS1 was bundled before being placed on my chest, they also took him after 20 min or so to bathe him. Although the experience with DS1 was lovely; the experience with DS2 was really awesome and I will make it known in my birth plan that I would prefer the immediate placement on my chest (assuming no complications).

HeatherC21 · November 2014

HilarityEnsued said:

GFJ48 said:

VeganOnTuesdays said:

GFJ48 said:

Honestly, I do not want to hold my kid until it is all cleaned up.

I am glad that I am not the only one. My thoughts may change in the moment but for now the idea of this baby flying out and being placed right on my chest without being wiped off, does not seem appealing to me. It sounds bratty as I type it but it's how I feel.

I don't think it's bratty...I feel the exact same way. I always have.

Meh.. it's not like labor is some clean swift process. You probably get a little gross yourself.

the way I looked at it, it's so damn scary for them, being born. You go from a cozy, dark, warm tiny little womb to a bright, cold, loud world. I wanted the first voice that he heard to be mine. I wanted to very first skin to skin contact he had to be mine. He calmed down the second he heard my voice. It was amazing.

And I am not talking about this instant bonding OMG I HAVE NEVER LOVED ANYTHING LIKE THIS.... because that was not what I felt in that moment. I was not calm and zen, I was like "holy sweet shit he's here, he's out, he's wailing, wtf and also I'm starving"... but I did know that I wanted him with me immediately, regardless of anything.

You are the only one in the world that is Mom.

Also, trust, a little womb juice will be the most NBD thing. Birth is messy, but newborns are like the tiniest producers of the most massive amount of bodily functions.

This made me cry just thinking about this moment.

Hawk&Eye · November 2014

With my first, he was given to me and I did skin to skin right away. He was trying to nurse at under 4 minutes after birth. The medical staff was awesome and did most of the tests while I held him, they took care of the after birth and did some stitches too. I can't remember how long it was before they took him bedside to do everything else, but he was given right back. DH was next to hold him and then no one else until several hours later. My advice...kick everyone out for a while and bond. There will be plenty of time to play pass the baby. But you can't get those first precious moments back.

MAdams728 · November 2014

Technically, my husband was the first to hold DD, since the doctor let him "catch" her and put her on my chest. It was amazing.

After all of that, a little newborn goo isn't even something that registers. All that matters is touching and seeing the baby, and knowing that it's ok. They will clean the baby quickly after you have gotten to hold it.

Birth is so messy, and will be messy for days afterward, the newborn is the least of it.

mpiemont · November 2014

Baby went directly from my vagina to my chest/arms. Did not pass go. Did not collect $200.

ElleMuffin · November 2014

Snapdragon750 said:
PPs have given great suggestions as to how to make sure your'e the first to hold your baby, but I just want to add that as wonderful as immediate "bonding" with the baby is, you've already been bonding with your baby for 9 months. Human babies are not ducklings and will not imprint on the first person they see. Your baby will already know your voice, your scent, your general feel, and being the second or even the 10th to hold your baby isn't going to change that.

And you know what, even if all of that weren't true, don't adopted children bond quite well with their adoptive parents? My point is that as much as all the studies say how immediate bonding with the mother is great for babies in the short term, it's not going to affect your relationship with your baby long-term if for some reason you're not able to hold your baby right away. So please don't stress about it if it doesn't end up happening. Just enjoy your baby.

Thanks for pointing this out! I'm hopeful that I'll be the first to hold my new baby but as an adoptive mom, I can assure you that bonding can occur a little later! My first son was placed with us at 3 mos, 2nd at 2 weeks , 3rd at 1 month...All all are healthy, happy mama's boys!

dj99 · November 2014

Beside the medical staff the only other person in that room will be DH. I do plan on holding him first unless there's a medical reason that the doctor or nurses need to attend to. DH and I were just talking about this the other day, he said however long I need before we let visitors in is how long we'll wait. I'll probably just give him a look to let him know when I'm ready for everyone to leave the room and give us space.

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