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Baby shower for 3rd baby?

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Re: Baby shower for 3rd baby?

  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    At the end of the day every woman/mother is going to do what they want. If someone doesn't care about etiquette or share different views about it that doesn't mean they should be judged. Tacky or not. To each is own. If people choose to get them something great if not then I'm sure as a mother they would still have to provide for that child.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    hoping&waiting12 said:

    teisha030782 said:

    This pregnancy was totally unexpected so if someone decides to throw this baby a shower great if not. I will make due obviously. And you Never know someone's situation so who are we to say whether or not someone need a shower or not?


    I have to say I agree with @jefa621‌ on this one. It doesn't matter whether your pregnancy was unexpected or not, you don't NEED a shower.

    I'm not a fan of second showers for anyone, regardless of whether the baby is the same or another sex. If family/friends want to buy a little something to celebrate a second,third,etc baby that's one thing. Having a shower is asking for gifts IMO. When I receive an invitation to a second shower, I decline. I don't sent a gift. I think they are tacky.

    ETA: sex, not gender.
    Okay great and I guess that's why everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No I don't NEED a baby shower but if someone decides to throw me one if I'm having another sex when Ice already given everything away. There is nothing wrong. And I am far from tacky. And actually my first baby shower the only big thing we got for our son was a crib everything else me and his dad purchased. So I am prepared either way.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    Typing too fast with a toddler asking for something at the same time lol. So sorry for the mispellings. And I don't have any family where I am so didn't say I would have a shower. What I said is if someone throws me one I wouldn't be opposed to having one especially if it's a different sex.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    What I don't understand y is it when someone posts something that not everyone agrees with, when there's someone with a different opinion there's a never ending discussion. Bottom line she posted the status to get different view points so the conversation should be over. And whether my family agrees on a second baby shower or not I'm not really sure haven't even discussed it yet. More than likely people will just send us things because again I have no family where I am. Last time we traveled home and they gave a surprise baby shower. So if you all choose to side eye people with second baby showers then hey!
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    I definitely don't agree with multiple baby showers but if there is a second child that is a different sex years apart I don't see the problem in that. Or just doing a registry for the second baby.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    jefa621 said:

    teisha030782 said:

    I definitely don't agree with multiple baby showers but if there is a second child that is a different sex years apart I don't see the problem in that. Or just doing a registry for the second baby.

    But see, where is that line drawn? How many years makes it okay? The grey area is why most people say one shower and anything after the first baby is unnecessary.
    Okay well excuse my ignorance to this subject I guess because what I am confused on is how is it not okay to have a baby shower for second child? But it is ok to do a baby registry for the second child? Um isn't that the same thing?? Outside of the gathering to show off the gifts?
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    GraceWordie said:

    Cassiek90 said:


    teisha030782 said:

    forevergraceful said:


    teisha030782 said:

    This pregnancy was totally unexpected so if someone decides to throw this baby a shower great if not. I will make due obviously. And you Never know someone's situation so who are we to say whether or not someone need a shower or not?

    Just because someone's situation might be unfavorable, it doesn't mean that it is socially acceptable to go against etiquette. 
    I didn't say that this is my opinion I am just saying before you judge you never know someone situation. If someone is poor and ended up pregnant then I'm pretty sure a baby shower may help them out even if it is their 2nd or 3rd. Granted maybe they need BC LOL but im pretty sure etiquette would be the furthest thing from their mind with another mouth to feed. Just saying

    That's fine. I think the whole point is, you can have a second or third baby shower, but you're going to get judged by people who DO care about etiquette. If you can live with that, then have your shower. Just know behind closed doors it's going to be called tacky and gift-grabby.

    First off this etiquette you speak of is from centuries ago. Like most traditions things change and it is quite common for people to have other showers with different genders or large gaps between children. To say that people will call you tacky no matter what isn't true. Maybe in your area or your circle of people but that certainly isn't how it is everywhere. I would never consider throwing myself a shower but if friends come to me wanting to host a party to celebrate the new baby with presents or not, I'm game. It's a celebration of life regardless and a good excuse for a get together. Clearly they don't think it's tacky or anything of the sort if they offer/bring it up. Once you are on your fourth baby shower in 4 years then ya that's gift grabby.



    Totally agree with this
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  • GraceWordieGraceWordie member
    edited November 2014
    Cassiek90 said:



    GraceWordie said:


    teisha030782 said:

    forevergraceful said:


    teisha030782 said:

    This pregnancy was totally unexpected so if someone decides to throw this baby a shower great if not. I will make due obviously. And you Never know someone's situation so who are we to say whether or not someone need a shower or not?

    Just because someone's situation might be unfavorable, it doesn't mean that it is socially acceptable to go against etiquette. 
    I didn't say that this is my opinion I am just saying before you judge you never know someone situation. If someone is poor and ended up pregnant then I'm pretty sure a baby shower may help them out even if it is their 2nd or 3rd. Granted maybe they need BC LOL but im pretty sure etiquette would be the furthest thing from their mind with another mouth to feed. Just saying

    That's fine. I think the whole point is, you can have a second or third baby shower, but you're going to get judged by people who DO care about etiquette. If you can live with that, then have your shower. Just know behind closed doors it's going to be called tacky and gift-grabby.

    First off this etiquette you speak of is from centuries ago. Like most traditions things change and it is quite common for people to have other showers with different genders or large gaps between children. To say that people will call you tacky no matter what isn't true. Maybe in your area or your circle of people but that certainly isn't how it is everywhere. I would never consider throwing myself a shower but if friends come to me wanting to host a party to celebrate the new baby with presents or not, I'm game. It's a celebration of life regardless and a good excuse for a get together. Clearly they don't think it's tacky or anything of the sort if they offer/bring it up. Once you are on your fourth baby shower in 4 years then ya that's gift grabby.




    So now you get to make arbitrary distinctions between what is and isn't gift grabby? That's basically another name for etiquette. I'm not saying I personally care if any of you have a second or third baby shower, I'm just saying don't expect it to be well-received by everyone. Just because one friend or family member offers to host the shower doesn't mean everyone invited will agree that it's not tacky. Like I said, if you're fine with that then have your shower. I really don't care. I would just want someone to let me know if something I was doing would get side-eyed.

    I just don't agree with saying that by having a second shower you will be side eyed and considered tacky because like I said in some areas a "sprinkle" or full on second shower is completely acceptable.

    Edited to add: the 4 showers in 4 years comment is my personal opinion.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    I see why the other mommy said not to post this discussion. Lol Geesh who would have thought people felt so strongly about this topic. Very interesting. Well I will definitely ask my family how they feel about this topic. Because my son and this baby are the only grandkids so we don't have much experience on my side of the family.
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  • GraceWordieGraceWordie member
    Cassiek90 said:


    GraceWordie said:
    Cassiek90 said:



    First off this etiquette you speak of is from centuries ago. Like most traditions things change and it is quite common for people to have other showers with different genders or large gaps between children. To say that people will call you tacky no matter what isn't true. Maybe in your area or your circle of people but that certainly isn't how it is everywhere. I would never consider throwing myself a shower but if friends come to me wanting to host a party to celebrate the new baby with presents or not, I'm game. It's a celebration of life regardless and a good excuse for a get together. Clearly they don't think it's tacky or anything of the sort if they offer/bring it up. Once you are on your fourth baby shower in 4 years then ya that's gift grabby.


    So now you get to make arbitrary distinctions between what is and isn't gift grabby? That's basically another name for etiquette. I'm not saying I personally care if any of you have a second or third baby shower, I'm just saying don't expect it to be well-received by everyone. Just because one friend or family member offers to host the shower doesn't mean everyone invited will agree that it's not tacky. Like I said, if you're fine with that then have your shower. I really don't care. I would just want someone to let me know if something I was doing would get side-eyed.
    I just don't agree with saying that by having a second shower you will be side eyed and considered tacky because like I said in some areas a "sprinkle" or full on second shower is completely acceptable.


    That's fine. I don't care if you agree with me or not.





    Still tacky.



    In your opinion and luckily for me your opinion doesn't matter :)

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  • forevergracefulforevergraceful member
    @amc2511, jinx! 

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  • GraceWordieGraceWordie member
    edited November 2014
    @teisha030782‌ if someone offers a shower or "sprinkle" go ahead and have one. Some people will think it's tacky or whatever and they don't have to come nor do they need to buy any gifts. Like I said before, most people who matter like close friends and family won't think twice about celebrating you and the new baby! You are not the one who is ignorant on this topic so don't worry.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    GraceWordie said:

    @teisha030782‌ if someone offers a shower or "sprinkle" go ahead and have one. Some people will think it's tacky or whatever and they don't have to come nor do they need to buy any gifts. Like I said before, most people who matter like close friends and family won't think twice about celebrating you and the new baby! You are not the one who is ignorant on this topic so don't worry.

    Thanks because I am totally floored at some of the responses lol and I am definitely far from tacky but hey opinions are opinions I guess!
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  • forevergracefulforevergraceful member
    Lol @Cassiek90, I read that as "you are not the only one that is ignorant on this topic". Thanks for pointing that out. I was thinking, "well, at least she knows that she doesn't know what she is talking about". 

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  • GraceWordieGraceWordie member
    forevergraceful said:


    GraceWordie said:

    @teisha030782‌ if someone offers a shower or "sprinkle" go ahead and have one. Some people will think it's tacky or whatever and they don't have to come nor do they need to buy any gifts. Like I said before, most people who matter like close friends and family won't think twice about celebrating you and the new baby! You are not the one who is ignorant on this topic so don't worry.

    See and this is ok if you are okay with people thinking you are tacky. And just because they are close friends or family, doesn't mean that they won't judge. If my sister did it, I would still judge, even though I would probably go and give a gift. We have a close family friend that threw their own shower, sent the invite out over Facebook, with a link to their registry- I judged the shit out of them. 


    SOME people will think it's tacky not everyone so saying "it's tacky" is your opinion not a fact that it is tacky. Just hate when people generalize things and act as though that is the way it is when really it's just the way it is for them personally.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    forevergraceful said:

    Lol @Cassiek90, I read that as "you are not the only one that is ignorant on this topic". Thanks for pointing that out. I was thinking, "well, at least she knows that she doesn't know what she is talking about". 

    Okay so this comment is just rude! This is exactly y people don't like to comment! So now I don't know what I'm talking about because I said I don't see a problem with a second shower. Yea ok! Smh please don't talk as if you are better than anyone because you feel a certain way about the topic.

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  • forevergracefulforevergraceful member
    teisha030782 said:
    Lol @Cassiek90, I read that as "you are not the only one that is ignorant on this topic". Thanks for pointing that out. I was thinking, "well, at least she knows that she doesn't know what she is talking about". 
    Okay so this comment is just rude! This is exactly y people don't like to comment! So now I don't know what I'm talking about because I said I don't see a problem with a second shower. Yea ok! Smh please don't talk as if you are better than anyone because you feel a certain way about the topic.

    :-@

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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    3timemom said:

    I gave things away after baby #2, we had decided not to have any more. Well not long after we changed our mind and had #3. We bought new things that we needed, car seat/stroller, and a friend gifted us her hand-me downs from her 2 boys, a swing, pack n play and a few other things. We bought what ever else we needed.

    I then gave away the things from baby #3 as I was waiting to get in to the dr to get my IUD. Well surprise baby #4 is on the way. We will buying everything we need. Regardless of different sexes or age gap it's tacky in my circle for more than 1 shower. I have friends and family that will often come to the hospital to visit and bring something small, an outfit , a blanket, a small toy.

    I'm also from the Midwest and no one I know does more than 1 shower. I wouldn't even let my co-workers do anything for me. If you are expecting people to give you a shower and throw presents at you it's gift grabby. There are a ton of 1st time moms who don't even get showers. Get over it and buy your baby the things they need don't depend on others.


    And I don't think the topic was if people couldn't buy their own things for their child. If nobody offered to throw this second child of mine a second baby shower well duh me and it's dad will have it all covered. I just stated that I don't agree that it's a tacky for a second baby shower of its a different sex. 3rd 4th, etc, in my opinion completely different. But I guess to each is own. I don't expect anything to be honest. But if people did offer it why would I turn it down. I don't have a ton of kids I have one currently so again I don't see a problem or it being tacky.
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  • JerseyMLJerseyML member
    edited November 2014
    My sister had a set of twins ( a boy and a girl) when she was pregnant for the second time with a singleton, she did not find out the sex of the baby.  Most of us thought she was basically set.  No matter when she had, she had stuff for both.  When she was about 5 months pregnant she goes to me…"I am assuming you guys are throwing me a sprinkle right?!?"

    We ended up getting her MIL, SIL, 2 nieces, her H's grandmothers, her daughter, my mom, me and my sister and did a luncheon.  But honestly, we had not intentions of throwing her a sprinkle.  Now if she had a boy or a girl the first time and was having the opposite sex the second time, then maybe.  But until she said something, there was nothing in the books.  
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    jefa621 said:

    teisha030782 said:

    forevergraceful said:

    Lol @Cassiek90, I read that as "you are not the only one that is ignorant on this topic". Thanks for pointing that out. I was thinking, "well, at least she knows that she doesn't know what she is talking about". 

    Okay so this comment is just rude! This is exactly y people don't like to comment! So now I don't know what I'm talking about because I said I don't see a problem with a second shower. Yea ok! Smh please don't talk as if you are better than anyone because you feel a certain way about the topic.

    Oh honey. Time to step away from the Internet. Or maybe go reread the thread.
    No I don't need to do anything! I was trying to get insight on the issue but U r actually the first one to be rude. So no honey maybe you should re read the thread. Ughhhhh who really gives a damn at the end of the way people are gonna do what they wanna do. Everyone opinion has been stated great. Now everyone can carry on with their lives but you can definitely be rude to someone else honey!
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    Cassiek90 said:


    teisha030782 said:

    3timemom said:

    I gave things away after baby #2, we had decided not to have any more. Well not long after we changed our mind and had #3. We bought new things that we needed, car seat/stroller, and a friend gifted us her hand-me downs from her 2 boys, a swing, pack n play and a few other things. We bought what ever else we needed.

    I then gave away the things from baby #3 as I was waiting to get in to the dr to get my IUD. Well surprise baby #4 is on the way. We will buying everything we need. Regardless of different sexes or age gap it's tacky in my circle for more than 1 shower. I have friends and family that will often come to the hospital to visit and bring something small, an outfit , a blanket, a small toy.

    I'm also from the Midwest and no one I know does more than 1 shower. I wouldn't even let my co-workers do anything for me. If you are expecting people to give you a shower and throw presents at you it's gift grabby. There are a ton of 1st time moms who don't even get showers. Get over it and buy your baby the things they need don't depend on others.


    And I don't think the topic was if people couldn't buy their own things for their child. If nobody offered to throw this second child of mine a second baby shower well duh me and it's dad will have it all covered. I just stated that I don't agree that it's a tacky for a second baby shower of its a different sex. 3rd 4th, etc, in my opinion completely different. But I guess to each is own. I don't expect anything to be honest. But if people did offer it why would I turn it down. I don't have a ton of kids I have one currently so again I don't see a problem or it being tacky.

    Why are you assuming everything in this thread is referring to you? You're not even the OP, right? We get it, you have your own opinion. 

    First of all it was only a hand full of people that commented. Secondly didn't say everything was about me at all. But ok next subject!
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  • abcdefghijk12345678abcdefghijk12345678 member
    teisha030782 said:

    jefa621 said:

    teisha030782 said:

    forevergraceful said:

    Lol @Cassiek90, I read that as "you are not the only one that is ignorant on this topic". Thanks for pointing that out. I was thinking, "well, at least she knows that she doesn't know what she is talking about". 

    Okay so this comment is just rude! This is exactly y people don't like to comment! So now I don't know what I'm talking about because I said I don't see a problem with a second shower. Yea ok! Smh please don't talk as if you are better than anyone because you feel a certain way about the topic.

    Oh honey. Time to step away from the Internet. Or maybe go reread the thread.
    No I don't need to do anything! I was trying to get insight on the issue but U r actually the first one to be rude. So no honey maybe you should re read the thread. Ughhhhh who really gives a damn at the end of the way people are gonna do what they wanna do. Everyone opinion has been stated great. Now everyone can carry on with their lives but you can definitely be rude to someone else honey!
    If you really feel this way, maybe you should stop acting so butt hurt about it.
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  • JerseyMLJerseyML member
    BunkinMama said:
    Can I just say I was so pissed off when I saw my niece selling all of her big ticket baby items family got her for her first baby shower 3 years ago. She was posting the items on FB to our county's garage sale page. While she was PG with her second. Then she sent a FB invite for another baby shower! X(
    Ugh I had a friend on Facebook do this!!  She had a girl, 2 years later she was pregnant with another girl.  She was selling a ton of her daughter's stuff on ebay and posting links to FB.  I thought it was weird but I assumed had some duplicates of stuff or something.  Then she posted pictures from her 2nd daughter's baby shower.  And there weren't just grand mom's on both sides and a few friends and family, it seemed like there were 50+ people there.  But she is tacky like that so I'm sure she didn't care.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    Girl bye! I don't feel any type of way just saying its a shame that you can't comment without hearing bs from everyone else just because you have a different opinion. It's precisely why so many people just observe this website and never comment. U definitely get it now. That is all!
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  • cottenjencottenjen member
    Wow, not the response I was hoping for, a simple yes or no would have been fine. I thought these groups were for bringing mom's together, not bashing each other. Thanks to all those with kind answers, be it if you agree with a 2nd shower or not.
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  • abcdefghijk12345678abcdefghijk12345678 member
    edited November 2014
    officedronette said:


    forevergraceful said:


    You keep saying that all of this is because you have a different opinion. Etiquette and social norms are not opinions. It is the reason why we don't greet people by throwing water in their faces. Or why we tip at restaurants. But if this is your GBCB, then adios! 


    Imagining a culture where we greet others like this and can't. stop. laughing.  


    --
    This is exactly why I love The Bump!
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    forevergraceful said:


    teisha030782 said:

    Girl bye! I don't feel any type of way just saying its a shame that you can't comment without hearing bs from everyone else just because you have a different opinion. It's precisely why so many people just observe this website and never comment. U definitely get it now. That is all!

    You keep saying that all of this is because you have a different opinion. Etiquette and social norms are not opinions. It is the reason why we don't greet people by throwing water in their faces. Or why we tip at restaurants. But if this is your GBCB, then adios! 

    Adios? Really I don't expect everyone to agree with everything. But it's all about how you disagree. The first responded after I responded and it continued from there. So this had nothing to do with the site because I was apart of the Knot as well just forgot my screen name. It seems that some people are just rude when people have a difference of opinion. For that I do get offended because a simple hey no that's considered tacky here is why. Not all the extra ish that was said.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    Cassiek90 said:


    teisha030782 said:

    forevergraceful said:

    Lol @Cassiek90, I read that as "you are not the only one that is ignorant on this topic". Thanks for pointing that out. I was thinking, "well, at least she knows that she doesn't know what she is talking about". 

    Okay so this comment is just rude! This is exactly y people don't like to comment! So now I don't know what I'm talking about because I said I don't see a problem with a second shower. Yea ok! Smh please don't talk as if you are better than anyone because you feel a certain way about the topic.


    Dude no one's talking about you.

    Edit to add: if you actually read the thread, she's talking about another poster. Just in case you're not able to pick up on that. Also, you called yourself ignorant on the topic like a page ago, FYI.


    I know what I said I said Ignorant on the topic of a second baby shower being tacky. Not the fact that I don't know what I'm talking about. Because there is a lot of people believe that it's not tacky if you are having another sex but ok.
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  • Knottie00775368Knottie00775368 member
    forevergraceful said:


    GraceWordie said:

    @teisha030782‌ if someone offers a shower or "sprinkle" go ahead and have one. Some people will think it's tacky or whatever and they don't have to come nor do they need to buy any gifts. Like I said before, most people who matter like close friends and family won't think twice about celebrating you and the new baby! You are not the one who is ignorant on this topic so don't worry.

    See and this is ok if you are okay with people thinking you are tacky. And just because they are close friends or family, doesn't mean that they won't judge. If my sister did it, I would still judge, even though I would probably go and give a gift. We have a close family friend that threw their own shower, sent the invite out over Facebook, with a link to their registry- I judged the shit out of them. 

    What if your parents simply can't afford to throw you a shower? You cover the cost and location? I don't see the big deal so long as it's your first.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    forevergraceful said:


    teisha030782 said:

    jefa621 said:

    teisha030782 said:

    forevergraceful said:

    Lol @Cassiek90, I read that as "you are not the only one that is ignorant on this topic". Thanks for pointing that out. I was thinking, "well, at least she knows that she doesn't know what she is talking about". 

    Okay so this comment is just rude! This is exactly y people don't like to comment! So now I don't know what I'm talking about because I said I don't see a problem with a second shower. Yea ok! Smh please don't talk as if you are better than anyone because you feel a certain way about the topic.

    Oh honey. Time to step away from the Internet. Or maybe go reread the thread.
    No I don't need to do anything! I was trying to get insight on the issue but U r actually the first one to be rude. So no honey maybe you should re read the thread. Ughhhhh who really gives a damn at the end of the way people are gonna do what they wanna do. Everyone opinion has been stated great. Now everyone can carry on with their lives but you can definitely be rude to someone else honey!

    I thought I was the first rude one???

    Didn't call you the first one being rude.

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  • cottenjencottenjen member
    My mistake for coming to a public forum. Wow. My first and last post. I will just wait til I'm further along to tell the rest of my friends, and ask their opinions. We are all very blunt and honest with each other. Again, thanks for the insight.
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  • teisha030782teisha030782 member
    I would have been better off googling this topic? Then clicking on this.
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