Honesty time- red wine — The Bump
June 2015 Moms

Honesty time- red wine

Okay, honesty time. I was craving red wine all week and I just had a few small sips. This is my first pregnancy so now I feel like an asshole/awful mother/etc :( I know everything in moderation is okay and I'll be 11 weeks on Sunday. Anyone else have a sip or two of alcohol yet? Should I be this mad at myself?
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Re: Honesty time- red wine

  • This is one of those topics that is debated. Some poeple say none at all, others say whatever you are craving within reason. I have even seen one or two who drink throughout their pregnancy. What's done is done. The best thing is to consult your OB and see what he/she thinks.

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  • I had a small sip of beer at around 5-6 weeks, so no judgement here. I certainly wouldn't make it too much of a habit, but it's unlikely a couple of sips did any harm.
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  • I used to say that getting pregnant would take away my two greatest loves, coffee in the morning and wine at night! Fortunately, kicking both habits wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and my cravings/appetite is so out of whack that the idea of either isn't really appealing right now. That said, I've had 2-3 work dinners since my BFP, and have definitely sneaked a sip of wine here and there. I'm still hiding my pregnancy, so I'd order the glass to throw off my coworkers, and its hard to not at least try it. I've also felt super guilty afterwards, but try to remind myself that it's everything in moderation. I think the issue with alcohol is largely based on the idea of moderate to heavy drinking throughout your pregnancy. A few sips won't hurt!
    ***First-time Mom in New York City | Married 8.16.13 | Expected Due Date 5.29.15***


  • I have absolutely had sips of wine/beer (more so early on). I currently have no cravings/desire so it hasn't been recently. But if the mood strikes me on my birthday (I'll be few days short of 12 weeks) I may even have a small glass of red wine.

    If you are looking for validation for drinking while pregnant, I cannot give you that. I can tell you that I feel comfortable having very small amounts every once in a blue moon.
    TTC: 1/2014 BFP: 9/24 EDD: 6/8/2015 Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
  • I won't drink during this pregnancy but I did have a few sips here and there during my twin pregnancy.  My OB had no issues what so ever.  

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  • As I'm sure you know, we don't know what level of alcohol is safe during pregnancy (because they don't do these sorts of trials on pregnant women, obviously).  However, outside of the US, there seems to be a more lax cultural policy on drinking during pregnancy, IMO.  To each their own.  We all have to make informed choices we can live with. 

    With DD, I had a few sips (and I mean literally two or three sips) in the second tri and maybe 4 oz of a delicious dark beer in the third tri.  I'm cool with that, and I will probably repeat with this baby. 

    FWIW, I've asked my doc about it.  He says the official party line has to be, "There is no level of alcohol known to be safe."  He then goes on to add, "When you make choices about anything you do in pregnancy, remember that moderation is key."  So I feel like that's tacit approval for me to have a sip of spiked cider at Christmas, at least.  :)
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  • I've had half a glass red wine on 2 different occasions so far. But I imagine that i will have a few more sips by the time I deliver.  I don't believe a few sips here and there will do any harm.  In fact, most of our ancestors in the 17th and 18th century drank wine/beer instead of water because drinking water wasn't safe.  Still, I have been shamed into only what amounts to 1/2 a glass per month. 
  • One of my doctors was pregnant recently and she'd even go home at night and have a little red wine... As long as you feel comfortable with it, I see no problem... but with that said... Im not sure I would.

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    mamabearMoni
  • Been one of the hardest things for me. I had a glass with dinner evey night before pregnancy. I've had to order at work dinners or out with friends to throw people off but Been very good considering. I had some of SO's the other night....so no judgement. I'm trying to stay away but suspect I'll sip on occasion. Maybe once a month.
  • I drink for the buzz so I don't even bother when I'm pregnant. That and the heartburn.

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    tanners5360ksimo6aagenthner
  • Thanks for the input ladies!! I only had 2 or 3 sips and I've come to terms with it. Glad I'm not the only one too :)
  • I plan on a glass of wine/month once this first trimester crap stops.

    I'm going to enjoy it.
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    ChrisLipstickdaze77619
  • My friend's MW said that a glass here and there is fine. My OB said not to drink period. It's all about what you feel is right.

    I really don't drink so it wasn't really a decision for me.
    mamabearMoni
  • In italy they encourage the Women to drink a glass old red wine because they believe it is good for the baby's heart and yours
    cmcards83
  • Oh, I'll be drinking red wine for sure once I'm out of the first trimester. I'm in the "no more than a glass/day" camp (but am not that frequent of a drinker as it is, so it will be less). 

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  • I abstained throughout the first trimester last time and likely will this time too. General anxiety plus no real desire since when I wasn't working I was sleeping. I went on a cruise in second trimester and had a beer a day. Late third tri a small glass of wine helped me relax before bed once in a while. I say use common sense and a few sips can't do much.
  • I won't have anything to drink cause DH will freak out. He trips out if I have a little bit of caffeine, drives me nuts.
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  • I had a glass of red wine in my last trimester to try and relax & start labor: nothing :(
    Also think about moms who do crazy drugs or drink a ton & don't find out until months in that they're pregnant (I used to smoke a ton of pot & didn't find out til 3 months in last time) & babies are fine. A few sips isn't going to be your downfall
    kerrymarie44canadianbride24Claire&Cub
  • Enjoying a glass (4-6oz) of wine with dinner a few times a week in the first tri or each day after first tri has been shown to do no damage (based on studies done in countries where drinking during pregnancy is common).

    The key is to drink it slowly and preferably with food to aid your body in absorbing it. I had a couple of glasses on a long weekend vacation two weeks ago and will probably have a glass or two a week after first tri. No judgment here.
    Me: 36 DH: 36
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  • holliberry28holliberry28
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    edited November 2014
    imageRead Emily Oster's book, "Expecting better," and don't feel bad about a few sips of wine.  4 oz here and there in the 2nd and 3 trimester won't harm the baby.

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  • I drink a few sips of my husband's beer on any night that he has one. Sometimes he even pours me a 3oz tasting glass, if it's a really special/rare beer. I drink it slow and enjoy it. I would probably have a small glass of wine if the opportunity presented itself as well. No big deal in my book, but obviously opinions on this are mixed. I say you're fine and there is no reason to feel bad, unless you have a history of alcoholism or any reason to think you might not be able to keep it to a minimum.
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  • Oh, girl. I had a WHOLE BOTTLE (one of the big ones) one night before I found out I was pregnant with DD. Haha, it happens. She's fine. You can def have a small glass of wine. I wouldn't recommend the whole bottle though.... ;)
    cmcards83Claire&Cubcatmagick
  • I personally have not and will not have alcohol during my pregnancy. But, to each their own.
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  • My OB said from the beginning that an occasional glass of wine is perfectly fine. I've had a half glass a couple times and am not worried about it. Big fan of Emily Oster.
    kerrymarie44
  • I'm comfortable having up to a glass of wine here and there throughout my pregnancy and did so with DS. I will say the only positive about nausea is that I have zero desire for wine or anything alcoholic. I was never sick in my first pregnancy and I remember missing my nightly wine way more than I do now.
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  • Definitely no judgements here regarding keeping everything in moderation. Ive definitely had what some may consider too much Celestial Seasonings herbal tea (non caffeinated) for most people's comfort levels during pregnancy. I say do what you're comfortable with, again in moderation. Happy ladies = happy babies.
  • I have to admit, I'm a little confused.

    First off, I am not a drinker at all. 9 months without a drink doesn't even phase me. I hate beer and most sweet drinks upset my stomach before I get to even enjoy the buzz.

    However, to answer your question, I absolutely agree with all of these posts. I think a few sips here or there, even an occasional glass, is ok.

    But what confuses me is, I guess, is the amount of people on the board that seem to be so afraid of taking Tylenol for the occasional headache. I get headaches a LOT. Bad ones. If I don't take Tylenol, they don't go away. But I seem to keep coming across posts of people suffering through these terrible headaches, some not even wanting to take a little caffeine to try and help, and I feel like a terrible person. Are these no Tylenol people also no sips of alcohol people? Or why are occasional sips of alcohol ok, but taking medicine when you are in pain not okay?

    I really don't mean to hijack your post. I do apologize. I guess I was surprised at how many people seemed to agree with my thought that a few sips of alcohol are ok, when I can barely find reassurance that another mom occasionally has to take Tylenol.
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  • @junch817 ; - I think its just being overcautious for whatever reason. I have never heard from anyone who actually knows about this stuff that there's anything wrong with taking recommended doses of tylenol.  And you shouldn't be suffering!!

    As for the alcohol - Yep, I've had sips of beer and have every intention of having small glasses of wine once I'm out of first tri.    Funny thing is, even in countries where the majority of women report small amount of alcohol consumption throughout pregnancy, their rates of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are lower than they are in the US - because really, FAS is a binge/problem drinking issue, not a reasonable/sipping issue. Just hard to quantify that with a specific amount since we're all different and it can't be ethically researched.

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    holliberry28catmagick[Deleted User]
  • I didn't find out if was pregnant until I was 6 week, and I'd been to my Grandads birthday party, I had a few bottles of Koppaberg; and felt dreadful. I'm another that doesn't want to drink in pregnancy but each to their own I believe in England we say no more than 2units once or twice a week if you have to drink. It's incredibly difficult to give up things we rely on; I've stopped smoking, drinking coffee and drinking alcohol and it still bothers me a little!
  • adorebeladorebel
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    edited November 2014
    I guess my mantra is: know thyself. If you know you can have a few sips and not go crazypants anxious about it afterwards, do it. If you know how a full glass of wine affects you and can imagine how your body will take a few sips, do it. If you can have a bit here and there and not start wanting/having it all the time, do it. If not, I can understand the stone-cold sober approach just to save yourself from anxiety and/or a slippery slope.

    I'm 9w4d and I've had a few sips of someone else's beer or wine about every other week since finding out at 3w5d. I've also had several stews and things with beer or wine cooked in, even though only 50-60% of the alcohol are likely to have burned off. My doctor said a glass of wine a week is fine (even in 1st tri), but I feel like mooching off others occasionally is a better and more enjoyable approach for me. 
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  • My husband and I were on vacation during my 6th week and didn't know I was pregnant. We drank beer, wine, and even had a night of pretty heavy liquor drinking with my family in there. I felt TERRIBLE once we found out I was pregnant a week later! But, everything was normal at my appt. I've sipped beer since then to hide pregnancy from our friends.
  • I don't drink much and definitely not while I have MS, but I am really looking forward to a glass of spiked eggnog at Christmas.
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  • Fun fact - MIL (who is a teetotaler) made some joke about how there was going to be no more wine for me until June and DH piped up and was all "well a little bit here and there is fine if she wants some". MIL nearly had a full on panic attack and looked me dead in the eyes and goes "Absolutely not!". Because you know, she gets a say.
    Haha, the reaction of our news from my MIL was totally the opposite. DH said the convo went something like this...

    MIL: "Well I guess that means she'll have to start cutting back on the beer at some point."
    DH: "She actually hasn't had anything to drink since we found out."
    MIL: "Oh, that's unnecessary! Let her have a beer!"

    :)

    That being said, I have had a few sips here and there, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it in moderation!
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  • @junch817 I will totally take Tylenol when/if I need it during this pregnancy.  I think people like to err on the side of caution (which is understandable), but in most cases, there's no reason to suffer without medicine. 
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    nf0ksskerrymarie44[Deleted User]
  • edited November 2014
    Yeah I just got back from a wine trip the day I got my BFP...luckily since I knew there was an "outside" chance I behaved myself better than normal.

    I never indulged in alcohol socially with I was pregnant with DD but I did take communion wine every Sunday. Likely it will be the same this pregnancy.
    Lilypie - (bDmZ)Lilypie - (SUYh)
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  • I say to each his/her own. In my first pregnancy, I had a glass of red in my 1st trimester to celebrate my anniversary and I felt so bad. My in laws(who have 13 healthy children) told me it's perfectly fine. My mom even told me to down 2 glasses on the way to deliver my babies to calm my nerves lol
    kreardon11
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