Honesty time- red wine

kerrymarie44 · November 2014

Okay, honesty time. I was craving red wine all week and I just had a few small sips. This is my first pregnancy so now I feel like an asshole/awful mother/etc

I know everything in moderation is okay and I'll be 11 weeks on Sunday. Anyone else have a sip or two of alcohol yet? Should I be this mad at myself?

a5swanson · November 2014

I had an entire 6oz glass of red wine last weekend. It gave me terrible heartburn, however so I don't think I'll be doing it again.

No, you shouldn't be that mad at yourself.

OMGTree · November 2014

This is one of those topics that is debated. Some poeple say none at all, others say whatever you are craving within reason. I have even seen one or two who drink throughout their pregnancy. What's done is done. The best thing is to consult your OB and see what he/she thinks.

Apollo11235 · November 2014

I had a small sip of beer at around 5-6 weeks, so no judgement here. I certainly wouldn't make it too much of a habit, but it's unlikely a couple of sips did any harm.

kateamart · November 2014

I used to say that getting pregnant would take away my two greatest loves, coffee in the morning and wine at night! Fortunately, kicking both habits wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and my cravings/appetite is so out of whack that the idea of either isn't really appealing right now. That said, I've had 2-3 work dinners since my BFP, and have definitely sneaked a sip of wine here and there. I'm still hiding my pregnancy, so I'd order the glass to throw off my coworkers, and its hard to not at least try it. I've also felt super guilty afterwards, but try to remind myself that it's everything in moderation. I think the issue with alcohol is largely based on the idea of moderate to heavy drinking throughout your pregnancy. A few sips won't hurt!

cmcards83 · November 2014

Read Expecting Better by Emily Oster and don't beat yourself up about it. A glass of wine a couple of times throughout your pregnancy isn't anything to be worried about IMO. It's definitely taboo however I intend on enjoying a glass of red on my anniversary in a couple of weeks and I can't wait.

I think a lot of it is fear mongering because nobody knows what the "threshold" is they just know excessive use cause problems. Use your best judgement and definitely moderation.

dancegurl1118 · November 2014

I have absolutely had sips of wine/beer (more so early on). I currently have no cravings/desire so it hasn't been recently. But if the mood strikes me on my birthday (I'll be few days short of 12 weeks) I may even have a small glass of red wine.

If you are looking for validation for drinking while pregnant, I cannot give you that. I can tell you that I feel comfortable having very small amounts every once in a blue moon.

Mama-Bear · November 2014

I won't drink during this pregnancy but I did have a few sips here and there during my twin pregnancy. My OB had no issues what so ever.

opheliacantswim · November 2014

As I'm sure you know, we don't know what level of alcohol is safe during pregnancy (because they don't do these sorts of trials on pregnant women, obviously). However, outside of the US, there seems to be a more lax cultural policy on drinking during pregnancy, IMO. To each their own. We all have to make informed choices we can live with.

With DD, I had a few sips (and I mean literally two or three sips) in the second tri and maybe 4 oz of a delicious dark beer in the third tri. I'm cool with that, and I will probably repeat with this baby.

FWIW, I've asked my doc about it. He says the official party line has to be, "There is no level of alcohol known to be safe." He then goes on to add, "When you make choices about anything you do in pregnancy, remember that moderation is key." So I feel like that's tacit approval for me to have a sip of spiked cider at Christmas, at least.

gaylew5 · November 2014

I've had half a glass red wine on 2 different occasions so far. But I imagine that i will have a few more sips by the time I deliver. I don't believe a few sips here and there will do any harm. In fact, most of our ancestors in the 17th and 18th century drank wine/beer instead of water because drinking water wasn't safe. Still, I have been shamed into only what amounts to 1/2 a glass per month.

blu-eyedwife · November 2014

Drinking is one of my paranoia issues. I have no issues with anyone drinking (some - no binge drinking) during pregnancy and wouldn't even think to question a pregnant woman with a drink in her hand. But for some reason, I just can't bring myself to do it.

That being said, last time around, around 7/8 weeks my firm won a trial and we were all out celebrating and of course champagne was going around. I tried just holding it for a while, but they started picking up I wasn't drinking and made a big deal about getting me something else, so I took a couple sips. I'm sure the third arm my son has isn't related to that at all! (In all honesty though, he was perfectly fine and I had a completely normal pregnancy)

BabyLoveOf123 · November 2014

One of my doctors was pregnant recently and she'd even go home at night and have a little red wine... As long as you feel comfortable with it, I see no problem... but with that said... Im not sure I would.

nf0kss · November 2014

Been one of the hardest things for me. I had a glass with dinner evey night before pregnancy. I've had to order at work dinners or out with friends to throw people off but Been very good considering. I had some of SO's the other night....so no judgement. I'm trying to stay away but suspect I'll sip on occasion. Maybe once a month.

kimmarie1105 · November 2014

I drink for the buzz so I don't even bother when I'm pregnant. That and the heartburn.

kerrymarie44 · November 2014

Thanks for the input ladies!! I only had 2 or 3 sips and I've come to terms with it. Glad I'm not the only one too

Bednarova · November 2014

I plan on a glass of wine/month once this first trimester crap stops.

I'm going to enjoy it.

KikiCohen · November 2014

My friend's MW said that a glass here and there is fine. My OB said not to drink period. It's all about what you feel is right.

I really don't drink so it wasn't really a decision for me.

mommytobe43215 · November 2014

In italy they encourage the Women to drink a glass old red wine because they believe it is good for the baby's heart and yours

carolyngrace · November 2014

Oh, I'll be drinking red wine for sure once I'm out of the first trimester. I'm in the "no more than a glass/day" camp (but am not that frequent of a drinker as it is, so it will be less).

notquiteblushing · November 2014

I abstained throughout the first trimester last time and likely will this time too. General anxiety plus no real desire since when I wasn't working I was sleeping. I went on a cruise in second trimester and had a beer a day. Late third tri a small glass of wine helped me relax before bed once in a while. I say use common sense and a few sips can't do much.

elvinnoe · November 2014

I won't have anything to drink cause DH will freak out. He trips out if I have a little bit of caffeine, drives me nuts.

sammharrison · November 2014

I had a glass of red wine in my last trimester to try and relax & start labor: nothing

Also think about moms who do crazy drugs or drink a ton & don't find out until months in that they're pregnant (I used to smoke a ton of pot & didn't find out til 3 months in last time) & babies are fine. A few sips isn't going to be your downfall

delujm0 · November 2014

Enjoying a glass (4-6oz) of wine with dinner a few times a week in the first tri or each day after first tri has been shown to do no damage (based on studies done in countries where drinking during pregnancy is common).

The key is to drink it slowly and preferably with food to aid your body in absorbing it. I had a couple of glasses on a long weekend vacation two weeks ago and will probably have a glass or two a week after first tri. No judgment here.

holliberry28 · November 2014

Read Emily Oster's book, "Expecting better," and don't feel bad about a few sips of wine. 4 oz here and there in the 2nd and 3 trimester won't harm the baby.

veggiemo · November 2014

I drink a few sips of my husband's beer on any night that he has one. Sometimes he even pours me a 3oz tasting glass, if it's a really special/rare beer. I drink it slow and enjoy it. I would probably have a small glass of wine if the opportunity presented itself as well. No big deal in my book, but obviously opinions on this are mixed. I say you're fine and there is no reason to feel bad, unless you have a history of alcoholism or any reason to think you might not be able to keep it to a minimum.

Bfairchild618 · November 2014

Oh, girl. I had a WHOLE BOTTLE (one of the big ones) one night before I found out I was pregnant with DD. Haha, it happens. She's fine. You can def have a small glass of wine. I wouldn't recommend the whole bottle though....

Katerina&Baby · November 2014

I'll probably have a little bit of red at Christmas and then maybe if someone opens one of my favorite bottles during a big family dinner. I definitely won't sweat it but I haven't missed it yet.

Fun fact - MIL (who is a teetotaler) made some joke about how there was going to be no more wine for me until June and DH piped up and was all "well a little bit here and there is fine if she wants some". MIL nearly had a full on panic attack and looked me dead in the eyes and goes "Absolutely not!". Because you know, she gets a say.

MJMum524 · November 2014

I personally have not and will not have alcohol during my pregnancy. But, to each their own.

FirstTime41 · November 2014

My OB said from the beginning that an occasional glass of wine is perfectly fine. I've had a half glass a couple times and am not worried about it. Big fan of Emily Oster.

redrocksmama · November 2014

I'm comfortable having up to a glass of wine here and there throughout my pregnancy and did so with DS. I will say the only positive about nausea is that I have zero desire for wine or anything alcoholic. I was never sick in my first pregnancy and I remember missing my nightly wine way more than I do now.

Claire&Cub · November 2014

Definitely no judgements here regarding keeping everything in moderation. Ive definitely had what some may consider too much Celestial Seasonings herbal tea (non caffeinated) for most people's comfort levels during pregnancy. I say do what you're comfortable with, again in moderation. Happy ladies = happy babies.

junch817 · November 2014

I have to admit, I'm a little confused.

First off, I am not a drinker at all. 9 months without a drink doesn't even phase me. I hate beer and most sweet drinks upset my stomach before I get to even enjoy the buzz.

However, to answer your question, I absolutely agree with all of these posts. I think a few sips here or there, even an occasional glass, is ok.

But what confuses me is, I guess, is the amount of people on the board that seem to be so afraid of taking Tylenol for the occasional headache. I get headaches a LOT. Bad ones. If I don't take Tylenol, they don't go away. But I seem to keep coming across posts of people suffering through these terrible headaches, some not even wanting to take a little caffeine to try and help, and I feel like a terrible person. Are these no Tylenol people also no sips of alcohol people? Or why are occasional sips of alcohol ok, but taking medicine when you are in pain not okay?

I really don't mean to hijack your post. I do apologize. I guess I was surprised at how many people seemed to agree with my thought that a few sips of alcohol are ok, when I can barely find reassurance that another mom occasionally has to take Tylenol.

Trampslikeus · November 2014

@junch817 - I think its just being overcautious for whatever reason. I have never heard from anyone who actually knows about this stuff that there's anything wrong with taking recommended doses of tylenol. And you shouldn't be suffering!!

As for the alcohol - Yep, I've had sips of beer and have every intention of having small glasses of wine once I'm out of first tri. Funny thing is, even in countries where the majority of women report small amount of alcohol consumption throughout pregnancy, their rates of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are lower than they are in the US - because really, FAS is a binge/problem drinking issue, not a reasonable/sipping issue. Just hard to quantify that with a specific amount since we're all different and it can't be ethically researched.

gabriellamason93 · November 2014

I didn't find out if was pregnant until I was 6 week, and I'd been to my Grandads birthday party, I had a few bottles of Koppaberg; and felt dreadful. I'm another that doesn't want to drink in pregnancy but each to their own I believe in England we say no more than 2units once or twice a week if you have to drink. It's incredibly difficult to give up things we rely on; I've stopped smoking, drinking coffee and drinking alcohol and it still bothers me a little!

adorebel · November 2014

I guess my mantra is: know thyself. If you know you can have a few sips and not go crazypants anxious about it afterwards, do it. If you know how a full glass of wine affects you and can imagine how your body will take a few sips, do it. If you can have a bit here and there and not start wanting/having it all the time, do it. If not, I can understand the stone-cold sober approach just to save yourself from anxiety and/or a slippery slope.

I'm 9w4d and I've had a few sips of someone else's beer or wine about every other week since finding out at 3w5d. I've also had several stews and things with beer or wine cooked in, even though only 50-60% of the alcohol are likely to have burned off. My doctor said a glass of wine a week is fine (even in 1st tri), but I feel like mooching off others occasionally is a better and more enjoyable approach for me.

mlp5029 · November 2014

My husband and I were on vacation during my 6th week and didn't know I was pregnant. We drank beer, wine, and even had a night of pretty heavy liquor drinking with my family in there. I felt TERRIBLE once we found out I was pregnant a week later! But, everything was normal at my appt. I've sipped beer since then to hide pregnancy from our friends.

ChrisLipstick · November 2014

I don't drink much and definitely not while I have MS, but I am really looking forward to a glass of spiked eggnog at Christmas.

littlechemist · November 2014

Katerina&Baby said:

Fun fact - MIL (who is a teetotaler) made some joke about how there was going to be no more wine for me until June and DH piped up and was all "well a little bit here and there is fine if she wants some". MIL nearly had a full on panic attack and looked me dead in the eyes and goes "Absolutely not!". Because you know, she gets a say.

Haha, the reaction of our news from my MIL was totally the opposite. DH said the convo went something like this...

MIL: "Well I guess that means she'll have to start cutting back on the beer at some point."

DH: "She actually hasn't had anything to drink since we found out."

MIL: "Oh, that's unnecessary! Let her have a beer!"

That being said, I have had a few sips here and there, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it in moderation!

opheliacantswim · November 2014

@junch817 I will totally take Tylenol when/if I need it during this pregnancy. I think people like to err on the side of caution (which is understandable), but in most cases, there's no reason to suffer without medicine.

housewifebecomesher · November 2014

Yeah I just got back from a wine trip the day I got my BFP...luckily since I knew there was an "outside" chance I behaved myself better than normal.

I never indulged in alcohol socially with I was pregnant with DD but I did take communion wine every Sunday. Likely it will be the same this pregnancy.

mrshaynes1216 · November 2014

I say to each his/her own. In my first pregnancy, I had a glass of red in my 1st trimester to celebrate my anniversary and I felt so bad. My in laws(who have 13 healthy children) told me it's perfectly fine. My mom even told me to down 2 glasses on the way to deliver my babies to calm my nerves lol

Honesty time- red wine

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