Seating chart

melody921 · November 2014

Hey ladies. I'm co-hosting a shower for my SIL in a couple of weeks. Her mom, who is not involved with the hosting, was surprised that we were not planning to have assigned seating. I figure 35-40 women can figure out where they want to sit without guidance. Besides, not knowing every guest makes it a little hard to determine where to put them. But am I wrong on this? Is it gauche to not have a seating chart?

VOR · November 2014

While a fan of seating charts for weddings (tables, not seats), I would probably side-eye a seating chart for a shower. Especially one that is only about 35 women.

And you're right - as YOU don't know them, trying to seat them is going to be a PITA and THEY will be annoyed if seated w/ people they don't know. This only works when the person doing the chart knows everyone and makes an effort to seat them w/ the people they'd logically sit with anyhow.

Helenahhandbasket · November 2014

I did have one, but I had 70+ guests at my shower. I did feel funny about it (the seating chart) but the woman at the catering hall suggested to my mom (the hostess).

I think 35-40 people should be fine w/o a seating chart.

melody921 · November 2014

Thanks, ladies! Glad to see I'm not losing my mind. One less thing to worry about for shower prep.

neverblushed · November 2014

My special needs 7th graders need a seating chart to keep them from poking other students and wiping boogers on each other.

35 grown women probably don't need this kind of structure.

missamERICA · November 2014

I have NEVER been to or heard of a baby shower with assigned seating and I would probably make fun of it the entire time. That's just ridiculous.

melody921 · November 2014

RedheadBaker said:

A seating chart at a SHOWER?? No. This isn't a wedding.

That's exactly what I've been saying. It shouldn't have to be quite so formal.

Amstreagle · November 2014

I once went to a bridal shower where they used envelopes as name place cards so we could could fill out our own thank you card envelope and be told where to sit. It was so awkward. There were only about 20 guests which made it even more ridiculous.

OneLastRefrain · November 2014

I've never been to a shower that DIDNT have a seating chart. Seriously. And I like it, because I hate "saving seats" and having one person feel awkward because they're sitting with strangers just because other people sat down first. My mom asked if I'd like seating arrangements for my own shower and I said that would be my preference, if she'd like to do so.

Edited to add that I live in an area where showers are fancy, usually out at a place, and usually more than 40
people.

Unknown · November 2014

This content has been removed.

Amstreagle · November 2014

MandJS said:

Amstreagle said:

I once went to a bridal shower where they used envelopes as name place cards so we could could fill out our own thank you card envelope and be told where to sit. It was so awkward. There were only about 20 guests which made it even more ridiculous.

The tacky in this one hurts.

It was bad! They did a tea party and the tea wasn't even warm I was also sat with only one person I knew the rest of the table knew eachother and completely shut us out of any conversation. So awkward.

Amstreagle · November 2014

OneLastRefrain said:
I've never been to a shower that DIDNT have a seating chart. Seriously. And I like it, because I hate "saving seats" and having one person feel awkward because they're sitting with strangers just because other people sat down first. My mom asked if I'd like seating arrangements for my own shower and I said that would be my preference, if she'd like to do so.

Edited to add that I live in an area where showers are fancy, usually out at a place, and usually more than 40
people.

Ooooo aaaaaah. You are so speshul!
@Bliss+Berry‌ this must be the hostess you were speaking of...

OneLastRefrain · November 2014

Amstreagle said:

I've never been to a shower that DIDNT have a seating chart. Seriously. And I like it, because I hate "saving seats" and having one person feel awkward because they're sitting with strangers just because other people sat down first. My mom asked if I'd like seating arrangements for my own shower and I said that would be my preference, if she'd like to do so. Edited to add that I live in an area where showers are fancy, usually out at a place, and usually more than 40 people.
Ooooo aaaaaah. You are so speshul!
@Bliss+Berry‌ this must be the hostess you were speaking of...

Um, that's rude? Just because my experience isn't your experience? I was being honest. It's not my experience to not have assigned seating at an event with more than 40 people.

I guess it's not allowed to have an opinion on this board that's not the same as the "preferred" opinion. And don't respond to me saying "It's not okay to have a tacky opinion", because in my OPINION, it's tacky to not have a seating chart at an organized affair.

PrimRoseMama · November 2014

Yeah no. Baby showers are not at all formal like weddings. My wedding had open seating & the guest list was 50 total. So, IMHO, this guest list is huge & formal seating would be ridiculous.

OneLastRefrain · November 2014

PrimRoseMama said:

Yeah no. Baby showers are not at all formal like weddings. My wedding had open seating & the guest list was 50 total. So, IMHO, this guest list is huge & formal seating would be ridiculous.

Not formal like a wedding, no. But more formal than having people over my house. It's all your personal preference. My best friend's bridal shower had like 80 people (big fat Italian wedding). My baby shower guest list is 65 people after I include the people my mom wants to invite, and as the hostess, is her right. 60 people looking for seats all at once in a restaurant room seems like a nightmare. Hence, seating chart. I don't know why this is so horrifying to some. If everyone's party was the same, they'd all be very boring. ;-)

Amstreagle · November 2014

OneLastRefrain said:

Amstreagle said:

OneLastRefrain said:
I've never been to a shower that DIDNT have a seating chart. Seriously. And I like it, because I hate "saving seats" and having one person feel awkward because they're sitting with strangers just because other people sat down first. My mom asked if I'd like seating arrangements for my own shower and I said that would be my preference, if she'd like to do so.

Edited to add that I live in an area where showers are fancy, usually out at a place, and usually more than 40
people.
Ooooo aaaaaah. You are so speshul!
@Bliss+Berry‌ this must be the hostess you were speaking of...

Um, that's rude? Just because my experience isn't your experience? I was being honest. It's not my experience to not have assigned seating at an event with more than 40 people.

I guess it's not allowed to have an opinion on this board that's not the same as the "preferred" opinion. And don't respond to me saying "It's not okay to have a tacky opinion", because in my OPINION, it's tacky to not have a seating chart at an organized affair.

quote fail
Saying your area has *fancy* baby showers isn't an opinion.
To me it came off as a brag.

OneLastRefrain · November 2014

Amstreagle said:

OneLastRefrain said:

Amstreagle said:

OneLastRefrain said:
I've never been to a shower that DIDNT have a seating chart. Seriously. And I like it, because I hate "saving seats" and having one person feel awkward because they're sitting with strangers just because other people sat down first. My mom asked if I'd like seating arrangements for my own shower and I said that would be my preference, if she'd like to do so.

Edited to add that I live in an area where showers are fancy, usually out at a place, and usually more than 40
people.
Ooooo aaaaaah. You are so speshul!
@Bliss+Berry‌ this must be the hostess you were speaking of...

Um, that's rude? Just because my experience isn't your experience? I was being honest. It's not my experience to not have assigned seating at an event with more than 40 people.

I guess it's not allowed to have an opinion on this board that's not the same as the "preferred" opinion. And don't respond to me saying "It's not okay to have a tacky opinion", because in my OPINION, it's tacky to not have a seating chart at an organized affair.

quote fail
Saying your area has *fancy* baby showers isn't an opinion.
To me it came off as a brag.

Yep impossible to win here. People are saying a SC is ridiculous for a nonfancy occasion. Here, showers are fancy. Sorry if that's not cool with you. It's not a brag. I find nothing wrong with simpler affairs either, I just haven't been to many.

chicagojackie · November 2014

A seating chart is ridiculous for a baby shower. The guests should be able to seat themselves and act like ladies. This is not a junior league or sorority luncheon where catty cliques may rule. This is supposed to be women close to the mother of the baby and whom may be related to each other. If you have women in your circle who can't be polite over cake and champagne for an hour or two that is a whole other situation entirely. Your hostess should be aware of ladies coming who are close to the MTB but are not necessarily in the same social circles and work to make those guests feel comfortable and invite them to sit with her or with more outgoing/gracious attendees.

Also "fancy" does NOT equal classy or polite or lovely.

OneLastRefrain · November 2014

It's not just cake. It's a full meal. I don't know why you think it's okay to call something ridiculous while also saying that MY way is tacky. If you think a damn seating chart is tacky, I question your taste level. Maybe it's not necessary at every function, depending, but to call it TACKY? Give me a fucking break. Your way is not THE way. You don't want a seating chart? Don't have one! If it's 20 women having a piece of cake, no I don't think seating is necessary.

Unknown · November 2014

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melody921 · November 2014

Bliss+Berry said:

chicagojackie said:

A seating chart is ridiculous for a baby shower. The guests should be able to seat themselves and act like ladies. This is not a junior league or sorority luncheon where catty cliques may rule. This is supposed to be women close to the mother of the baby and whom may be related to each other. If you have women in your circle who can't be polite over cake and champagne for an hour or two that is a whole other situation entirely. Your hostess should be aware of ladies coming who are close to the MTB but are not necessarily in the same social circles and work to make those guests feel comfortable and invite them to sit with her or with more outgoing/gracious attendees.
Also "fancy" does NOT equal classy or polite or lovely.

All this. @OneLastRefrain‌ This is what you aren't getting. My shower and all the showers I have attended are usually pretty formal, regardless of whether they are held at a venue such as the country club, a restaurant or someone's home. Mine was at home, but it was catered and outdoors with a tent and tables, formal place settings, etc. No seating chart was ever needed and honestly I am offended by being told where I can sit at a baby shower.

Regardless of how formal or LOL "fancy" you consider a baby shower to be, it's not the kind of event that calls for a seating chart. It's absurd.

This shower that I'm co-hosting will be in a restaurant, so definitely nice, although I wouldn't call it fancy. I definitely don't think having a seating chart is tacky. I just don't think it's tacky to skip one either. I guess I just feel that most grown people can find themselves a seat and socialize appropriately over a meal and baby gift opening. Even if everyone does not know everyone else, we all have a common tie in the mom-to-be.

jaztastic · November 2014

chicagojackie said:

A seating chart is ridiculous for a baby shower. The guests should be able to seat themselves and act like ladies. This is not a junior league or sorority luncheon where catty cliques may rule. This is supposed to be women close to the mother of the baby and whom may be related to each other. If you have women in your circle who can't be polite over cake and champagne for an hour or two that is a whole other situation entirely. Your hostess should be aware of ladies coming who are close to the MTB but are not necessarily in the same social circles and work to make those guests feel comfortable and invite them to sit with her or with more outgoing/gracious attendees.
Also "fancy" does NOT equal classy or polite or lovely.

@ChicagoJackie I was going to respond, until I saw you over here... Im going to keep my level of speshul to myself today. -Viper Princess out.

chicagojackie · November 2014

@jaztastic awwww I appreciate your confidence. I know you do have a lot of great opinions on all things classy and may in fact be the classiest viper so I am flattered.

OneLastRefrain · November 2014

I don't need to "get" anything. I don't NEED to agree with you. If you don't want a seating chart, you don't need one. All I did when the post came up was share my experience. I don't think anyone else is "absurd" or "ridiculous", but I do have my own experiences and preferences. I like guests to be comfortable, and in my opinion/experience, that doesn't involve hunting for a seat or hoping there's an opening at a table. There's always gonna be someone who wants to complain, and those people are going to find something to complain about regardless. Probably on an Internet forum ;-)

Amstreagle · November 2014

OneLastRefrain said:

I don't need to "get" anything. I don't NEED to agree with you. If you don't want a seating chart, you don't need one. All I did when the post came up was share my experience. I don't think anyone else is "absurd" or "ridiculous", but I do have my own experiences and preferences. I like guests to be comfortable, and in my opinion/experience, that doesn't involve hunting for a seat or hoping there's an opening at a table. There's always gonna be someone who wants to complain, and those people are going to find something to complain about regardless. Probably on an Internet forum ;-)

In my experience a host knows it's common sense to have enough seating and tables for every guest that RSVP'd plus some extra for those who don't RSVP and just show up. So it's always been a non issue.
If there isn't enough seating or table space how is a seating chart going to fix that?

OneLastRefrain · November 2014

Amstreagle said:

OneLastRefrain said:

I don't need to "get" anything. I don't NEED to agree with you. If you don't want a seating chart, you don't need one. All I did when the post came up was share my experience. I don't think anyone else is "absurd" or "ridiculous", but I do have my own experiences and preferences. I like guests to be comfortable, and in my opinion/experience, that doesn't involve hunting for a seat or hoping there's an opening at a table. There's always gonna be someone who wants to complain, and those people are going to find something to complain about regardless. Probably on an Internet forum ;-)

In my experience a host knows it's common sense to have enough seating and tables for every guest that RSVP'd plus some extra for those who don't RSVP and just show up. So it's always been a non issue.
If there isn't enough seating or table space how is a seating chart going to fix that?

Oh, I meant enough seats at the table you want to sit at.

PrimRoseMama · November 2014

IMHO a seating chart at a baby shower screams "trying too hard to be fancy". Classy & sophisticated never have to expend all that effort that comes off as nouveau riche attempts at fancy.

Unknown · November 2014

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OneLastRefrain · November 2014

Because the seating chart usually groups people logically. I've never been told to sit with random people. (In my experience the host knows who belongs where, and if they don't, they ask).

Unknown · November 2014

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PrimRoseMama · November 2014

OneLastRefrain said:
Because the seating chart usually groups people logically. I've never been told to sit with random people. (In my experience the host knows who belongs where, and if they don't, they ask).

OMG these are adults not toddlers.

melody921 · November 2014

AFwifelife said:

Heaven forbid people sit next to people they don't know for 2-3 hours. THE HORRORS!

LOL, I must say this post got way more action than I anticipated. Thanks for the laughs, ladies. I'm entering the weekend confident in my no seating chart plan.

OneLastRefrain · November 2014

PrimRoseMama said:

OneLastRefrain said:
Because the seating chart usually groups people logically. I've never been told to sit with random people. (In my experience the host knows who belongs where, and if they don't, they ask).
OMG these are adults not toddlers.

Says the women throwing a hissy fit about being told where to sit. Slightly hypocritical, ladies. Once again, it's not necessary, it's a preference. Good lord. Talk about making something out of nothing. Aren't there bigger things to care about than if you have a place card or not?

Unknown · November 2014

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Engineer81 · November 2014

OneLastRefrain said:

PrimRoseMama said:

OneLastRefrain said:
Because the seating chart usually groups people logically. I've never been told to sit with random people. (In my experience the host knows who belongs where, and if they don't, they ask).
OMG these are adults not toddlers.
Says the women throwing a hissy fit about being told where to sit. Slightly hypocritical, ladies. Once again, it's not necessary, it's a preference. Good lord. Talk about making something out of nothing. Aren't there bigger things to care about than if you have a place card or not?

Yes, there are. Which proves the point everyone was trying to make. If you are so precious and lack the basic social graces to be polite and chat with strangers at a freaking baby shower I don't know what to say. When did baby showers turn into these crazy precious events that are being described? What happened to having cake and punch for a couple hours without all this ridiculousness? I must be too old for this shit.

Unknown · November 2014

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OneLastRefrain · November 2014

Your parties all sound awful. Clearly there's no winning here on TB. I'm gonna enjoy my fancy, pretentious showers where I sit with my own family and friends. You guys enjoy your punch with strangers. God forbid anyone differ with the etiquette rules the bump baby shower board has dictated. Show me an etiquette article that says seating charts are unacceptable and you win. You won't. So enjoy yourselves and your closemindedness. You're the ones with tunnel vision and rudeness. THAT is tacky.

thiscoffeechick · November 2014

Seating chart at a baby shower is silly, IMO.

Unknown · November 2014

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Engineer81 · November 2014

OneLastRefrain said:
Your parties all sound awful. Clearly there's no winning here on TB. I'm gonna enjoy my fancy, pretentious showers where I sit with my own family and friends. You guys enjoy your punch with strangers. God forbid anyone differ with the etiquette rules the bump baby shower board has dictated. Show me an etiquette article that says seating charts are unacceptable and you win. You won't. So enjoy yourselves and your closemindedness. You're the ones with tunnel vision and rudeness. THAT is tacky.

Well at least you can admit you are pretentious. And an ounce of pretense is worth a pound of manure.

Amstreagle · November 2014

Bliss+Berry said:

OneLastRefrain said:

Your parties all sound awful. Clearly there's no winning here on TB. I'm gonna enjoy my fancy, pretentious showers where I sit with my own family and friends. You guys enjoy your punch with strangers. God forbid anyone differ with the etiquette rules the bump baby shower board has dictated. Show me an etiquette article that says seating charts are unacceptable and you win. You won't. So enjoy yourselves and your closemindedness. You're the ones with tunnel vision and rudeness. THAT is tacky.

Clueless poster is clueless.
--------------------- quotation failure------
Classless poster is classless.
Who the hell are you to call our parties awful?

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