Your parties all sound awful. Clearly there's no winning here on TB. I'm gonna enjoy my fancy, pretentious showers where I sit with my own family and friends. You guys enjoy your punch with strangers. God forbid anyone differ with the etiquette rules the bump baby shower board has dictated. Show me an etiquette article that says seating charts are unacceptable and you win. You won't. So enjoy yourselves and your closemindedness. You're the ones with tunnel vision and rudeness. THAT is tacky.
@OneLastRefrain : your SN is making me laugh so hard. It's truly appropriate for you. =D>
I think you missed the part about our guests being Family & Friends as well. The "strangers" bit was in reference to our guests perhaps not knowing one another well. The Guest of Honor should know each guest quite well. Then again, social awareness & grace tend to be your weakness or so it appears. Bless your heart. 8->
It's not that seating charts are "unacceptable", dear. It's that they are over kill on the formality scale for the type of event that is being thrown. This is not a wedding reception or even a wedding brunch. Each of these events might warrant a place card to direct guests where they might find their seat.
At an informal gathering of ladies over buffet-style food & cake it's hardly a formal event. Nor should it be. I find these huge (read: 30 guests & upward) showers to be tasteless. They look like fund raisers. No, a baby shower is supposed to be an intimate gathering of friends to support & celebrate the Mother-to-be.
You may disagree, but I hardly see where you feel it's appropriate to say any of our parties are "awful".
It is pretentious to have a seating chart at an informal event. It's not High Tea with The Queen. It's cake & punch with people you appreciate.
My showers that I've been honored with have been lovely. I also strive to host memorable events that are also warm, but proper showers.
It's a pity you feel that a seating chart is necessary for your friends & family. Presumably they are smart enough, socially aware enough & physically capable of seating themselves? Do you think so little of them that you feel they need instructions?
Your parties all sound awful. Clearly there's no winning here on TB. I'm gonna enjoy my fancy, pretentious showers where I sit with my own family and friends. You guys enjoy your punch with strangers. God forbid anyone differ with the etiquette rules the bump baby shower board has dictated. Show me an etiquette article that says seating charts are unacceptable and you win. You won't. So enjoy yourselves and your closemindedness. You're the ones with tunnel vision and rudeness. THAT is tacky.
@OneLastRefrain : your SN is making me laugh so hard. It's truly appropriate for you. =D>
I think you missed the part about our guests being Family & Friends as well. The "strangers" bit was in reference to our guests perhaps not knowing one another well. The Guest of Honor should know each guest quite well. Then again, social awareness & grace tend to be your weakness or so it appears. Bless your heart. 8->
It's not that seating charts are "unacceptable", dear. It's that they are over kill on the formality scale for the type of event that is being thrown. This is not a wedding reception or even a wedding brunch. Each of these events might warrant a place card to direct guests where they might find their seat.
At an informal gathering of ladies over buffet-style food & cake it's hardly a formal event. Nor should it be. I find these huge (read: 30 guests & upward) showers to be tasteless. They look like fund raisers. No, a baby shower is supposed to be an intimate gathering of friends to support & celebrate the Mother-to-be.
You may disagree, but I hardly see where you feel it's appropriate to say any of our parties are "awful".
It is pretentious to have a seating chart at an informal event. It's not High Tea with The Queen. It's cake & punch with people you appreciate.
My showers that I've been honored with have been lovely. I also strive to host memorable events that are also warm, but proper showers.
It's a pity you feel that a seating chart is necessary for your friends & family. Presumably they are smart enough, socially aware enough & physically capable of seating themselves? Do you think so little of them that you feel they need instructions?
This answer is exquisite and I wanted to let you know!
I agree with Prim, except for the 30 guests and upward as being tasteless. I think it depends on the size of the families/social circles. About 50 were invited to my shower (I think...might have been 40) and about 25 were able to make it. The vast majority were from DH's side - very close family and friends. (My mom and MIL hosted a joint shower since I live 2 hours away and didn't want to travel past 30 weeks since I was carrying twins.)
Also, I love how it's assumed that a seating chart eliminates any awkwardness. At my cousin's wedding, my husband and I were the only cousins set at a different table. We were put with my cousin's college friends - people that DH and I couldn't stand after talking to them for more than five minutes. There was no reason for us to be at that table - there was room at the table where the rest of my cousins were. It was one of the more miserable weddings we've been to because of that damn seating arrangement. We actually dreaded having to get off the dance floor/go back to the table.
Yeah, we invited about 50 for this shower, and we have 37 confirmed. I don't think that's unreasonable considering it's two sides of a family and friends.
And I too have been seated in utterly ridiculous circumstances that made no sense.
I went to a wedding last year without a seating chart. It was actually quite annoying. It was for a coworker and I knew my two coworkers/their spouses, but we knew nobody else (including the bride). So, the five of us wanted to sit together. We had to look around for a table with that many open seats, then bc we had an odd number, a random person had to join us (who was half of a couple that hadn't looked for seats quickly enough). Not that we weren't all polite, but it was awkward. Instead of being able to just chit chat, we tried to politely include the other person and ended up talking about really superficial topics through a whole seated dinner. Plus, from his prospective, who wants to sit without their partner?
And, while I understand that a wedding isn't a shower and vise versa, it's not wholly different. As an example, my cousin's baby shower was at the same location as her wedding reception, it's just that it was only 1/5th the size (25 vs 125) for example. The meal was lighter based on the time of day too (chicken vs beef), but it still had a similar number of courses (salad, entree, dessert, cake). In that case, I wouldn't have side eyed a seating chart at all as it was fairly formal.
Your parties all sound awful. Clearly there's no winning here on TB. I'm gonna enjoy my fancy, pretentious showers where I sit with my own family and friends. You guys enjoy your punch with strangers. God forbid anyone differ with the etiquette rules the bump baby shower board has dictated. Show me an etiquette article that says seating charts are unacceptable and you win. You won't. So enjoy yourselves and your closemindedness. You're the ones with tunnel vision and rudeness. THAT is tacky.
This is like a GBCB, baby shower edition. I can't stop laughing. BINGO!!!
BFP #1: It's a GIRL! DD born October, 2012 BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014 BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015 *everyone always welcome*
I went to a wedding last year without a seating chart. It was actually quite annoying. It was for a coworker and I knew my two coworkers/their spouses, but we knew nobody else (including the bride). So, the five of us wanted to sit together. We had to look around for a table with that many open seats, then bc we had an odd number, a random person had to join us (who was half of a couple that hadn't looked for seats quickly enough). Not that we weren't all polite, but it was awkward. Instead of being able to just chit chat, we tried to politely include the other person and ended up talking about really superficial topics through a whole seated dinner. Plus, from his prospective, who wants to sit without their partner?
And, while I understand that a wedding isn't a shower and vise versa, it's not wholly different. As an example, my cousin's baby shower was at the same location as her wedding reception, it's just that it was only 1/5th the size (25 vs 125) for example. The meal was lighter based on the time of day too (chicken vs beef), but it still had a similar number of courses (salad, entree, dessert, cake). In that case, I wouldn't have side eyed a seating chart at all as it was fairly formal.
You couldn't have pulled up a chair and made room for their partner? And pray tell, what earth shattering topics were you planning on talking about at a wedding reception? It was really that big of an imposition? Talk about lack of class and manners. The behavior described on this board is abhorrent and mind boggling.
I went to a wedding last year without a seating chart. It was actually quite annoying. It was for a coworker and I knew my two coworkers/their spouses, but we knew nobody else (including the bride). So, the five of us wanted to sit together. We had to look around for a table with that many open seats, then bc we had an odd number, a random person had to join us (who was half of a couple that hadn't looked for seats quickly enough). Not that we weren't all polite, but it was awkward. Instead of being able to just chit chat, we tried to politely include the other person and ended up talking about really superficial topics through a whole seated dinner. Plus, from his prospective, who wants to sit without their partner?
And, while I understand that a wedding isn't a shower and vise versa, it's not wholly different. As an example, my cousin's baby shower was at the same location as her wedding reception, it's just that it was only 1/5th the size (25 vs 125) for example. The meal was lighter based on the time of day too (chicken vs beef), but it still had a similar number of courses (salad, entree, dessert, cake). In that case, I wouldn't have side eyed a seating chart at all as it was fairly formal.
You couldn't have pulled up a chair and made room for their partner? And pray tell, what earth shattering topics were you planning on talking about at a wedding reception? It was really that big of an imposition? Talk about lack of class and manners. The behavior described on this board is abhorrent and mind boggling.
My thoughts exactly! Or someone who was there without a date couldn't have swapped tables so those two people could sit together? This whole situation sounds ridiculous.
I went to a wedding last year without a seating chart. It was actually quite annoying. It was for a coworker and I knew my two coworkers/their spouses, but we knew nobody else (including the bride). So, the five of us wanted to sit together. We had to look around for a table with that many open seats, then bc we had an odd number, a random person had to join us (who was half of a couple that hadn't looked for seats quickly enough). Not that we weren't all polite, but it was awkward. Instead of being able to just chit chat, we tried to politely include the other person and ended up talking about really superficial topics through a whole seated dinner. Plus, from his prospective, who wants to sit without their partner?
And, while I understand that a wedding isn't a shower and vise versa, it's not wholly different. As an example, my cousin's baby shower was at the same location as her wedding reception, it's just that it was only 1/5th the size (25 vs 125) for example. The meal was lighter based on the time of day too (chicken vs beef), but it still had a similar number of courses (salad, entree, dessert, cake). In that case, I wouldn't have side eyed a seating chart at all as it was fairly formal.
You couldn't have pulled up a chair and made room for their partner? And pray tell, what earth shattering topics were you planning on talking about at a wedding reception? It was really that big of an imposition? Talk about lack of class and manners. The behavior described on this board is abhorrent and mind boggling.
If they had come around together, we would have, but she had already sat with some friends and he was wandering around. And, nothing exciting, but likely would have caught up with what was going on at work, who we'd seen recently that each other knows ("I saw ___ yesterday. She says hi. We should remember to invite her to the golf outing next month... Oh, do we need more people bc ___ keeps reminding me that you need to take him golfing?..."), etc. since we don't see each other very often. But, that kind of stuff is only interesting if you know the people in question. We ended up talking about the Tigers, the weather, how they should have assigned tables, etc. It was fine, but I felt bad for the random guy. With an event like that, they should have assigned tables to avoid splitting up couples.
As for my point related to the number of courses, if I'm sitting at a table through salads, entrees, dessert, and cake, I'd rather sit with people I know or at least have something in common with. If the hostess takes the time to figure out how to make everyone the most comfortable by seating people together that know each other/would like each other, I wouldn't side eye that. How often do we cite people's comfort as the driving factor behind most rules of etiquette? I don't see this as being any different.
If the shower has 50+ ppl and is at a hall, then I agree with seating charts because it will make it easier when seating groups or family members who should be together. In my family, there are people who would probably be offended if their table was too far from the couple lol
A seating chart for a baby shower at any size is odd. However if she really likes the idea I would offer her to do the job. Especially since you don't know the personalities, and relationships between the guests. I am sure she doesn't either, but let her have at it.
Re: Seating chart
I think you missed the part about our guests being Family & Friends as well. The "strangers" bit was in reference to our guests perhaps not knowing one another well. The Guest of Honor should know each guest quite well. Then again, social awareness & grace tend to be your weakness or so it appears. Bless your heart. 8->
It's not that seating charts are "unacceptable", dear. It's that they are over kill on the formality scale for the type of event that is being thrown. This is not a wedding reception or even a wedding brunch. Each of these events might warrant a place card to direct guests where they might find their seat.
At an informal gathering of ladies over buffet-style food & cake it's hardly a formal event. Nor should it be. I find these huge (read: 30 guests & upward) showers to be tasteless. They look like fund raisers. No, a baby shower is supposed to be an intimate gathering of friends to support & celebrate the Mother-to-be.
You may disagree, but I hardly see where you feel it's appropriate to say any of our parties are "awful".
It is pretentious to have a seating chart at an informal event. It's not High Tea with The Queen. It's cake & punch with people you appreciate.
My showers that I've been honored with have been lovely. I also strive to host memorable events that are also warm, but proper showers.
It's a pity you feel that a seating chart is necessary for your friends & family. Presumably they are smart enough, socially aware enough & physically capable of seating themselves? Do you think so little of them that you feel they need instructions?
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
And, while I understand that a wedding isn't a shower and vise versa, it's not wholly different. As an example, my cousin's baby shower was at the same location as her wedding reception, it's just that it was only 1/5th the size (25 vs 125) for example. The meal was lighter based on the time of day too (chicken vs beef), but it still had a similar number of courses (salad, entree, dessert, cake). In that case, I wouldn't have side eyed a seating chart at all as it was fairly formal.
BINGO!!!
BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015
*everyone always welcome*
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
As for my point related to the number of courses, if I'm sitting at a table through salads, entrees, dessert, and cake, I'd rather sit with people I know or at least have something in common with. If the hostess takes the time to figure out how to make everyone the most comfortable by seating people together that know each other/would like each other, I wouldn't side eye that. How often do we cite people's comfort as the driving factor behind most rules of etiquette? I don't see this as being any different.