PPD/PPA/PTSD Checkin

Re: PPD/PPA/PTSD Checkin

• AandJ28 member

  October 2014

  @SaraJoy00‌ - hugs!!

  

   
  

  
  

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• JmeJoLee83 member

  November 2014

  I am pretty sure I have PPA and that's why I have been so down and sad and anxious about returning to work next week. I cried so much tonight. I had DH take the baby so I could go into the bedroom and just sob. I'm worried he will think I left him. I worry that our bond will be affected. I worry that he will favor my mom over me. I worry he will cry all day. I worry that I will cry all day at work. I want to ask my boss of I can go part time but am under contract. I don't want to share my baby! MIL wants to come over this weekend and I have a baby shower to go to but I am already thinking of ways to get out of these things so I can be with my LO. What are some coping skills besides medication or counseling that any of you have found helpful?

  First time mommy-to-be

  E.D.D. June 1, 2014

  
  

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• sjn00 member

  November 2014

  I feel like my depression and anxiety goes in waves... right now I am just feeling so completely lonely. The only human interaction I have is with my 4 month old and It's so hard sometimes.

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• Mhensley1991 member

  November 2014

  Hugs to all of you ladies!

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• meritsamomma member

  November 2014

  I was starting to feel better and then my DH got a new car. Well, a new used car. We bought a Mazda 3 after our wedding using all the cash we got as a down payment and we said then that it would eventually be the family car and DH would take over driving my car, a Miata. I moved out to CA 9 years ago leaving behind my old car (a 90 Miata]. I promised myself that I would get a new Miata in about a year. I got my 02 exactly 1 year and 1 day after moving here. DH has decided he wants a more manly car and obviously I can't drive LO around in a two seater so we had to sell her. FIL fixed a dent that's been in it for 5 years so I got to watch my newly repaired car get driven away yesterday and I cried so much and haven't been able to shake out of it. I know it's just a car but it feels like just another thing I've had to give up. It's like my entire identity is completely gone and I'm now only a mom. Of course I love K to pieces and am so thankful for her but I didn't realize how isolating this can be.

   

  MET: 12/31/06 ENGAGED: 5/23/11 MARRIED: 11/11/11 DD DOB: 6/6/14

    

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• JmeJoLee83 member

  November 2014

  I start back to work tomorrow and the anxiety is through the roof. I am so scared and sad to leave LO. I know he's going to be looking for me all day [-(

  First time mommy-to-be

  E.D.D. June 1, 2014

  
  

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• lest12 member

  November 2014

  @JmeJoLee83‌ - I have been thinking of you! I know you're dreading tomorrow. I go back a week from Monday and I'm also having major anxiety. I cry a LOT, too.
  
  It's ok. Take tomorrow one step at a time. I'll be thinking of you and am here if you want to talk! Hugs.

   

         

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• frenchchocolate611 member

  November 2014

  GL @LmeJoLee83 and @lest12! I know it really REALLY sucks to go back to work after having so much time to bond with LO. I have been back for two months now and I know there is really nothing anyone can say to make it better, but I hope its not as bad as you are expecting. I had SO much anxiety before I went back to work and found it wasn't quite as bad as I had made it out to be in my head. I try to think about how I am doing the best thing for my baby and that he will appreciate it when he is older. He is also bonding better with daddy now that I am not with him 24/7 which I think has been really good (although hard) for my DH. Plus, now I have the best thing to look forward to when I go home at the end of the day and DS is always SO happy to see me when I get home, its a great feeling. 

  Anyways - try to remember that you are not alone and that we are all here for you ladies to vent if and when needed!

   

  

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• JmeJoLee83 member

  November 2014 edited November 2014

  @lest12‌ and @frenchchocolate611‌ thanks ladies
  
  Do you think it's a good or bad idea for my mom to bring baby at my lunch break to BF?

  First time mommy-to-be

  E.D.D. June 1, 2014

  
  

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• lest12 member

  November 2014

  Thanks @frenchchocolate611‌. I hope it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be.
  
  @JmeJoLee83‌ - I have the option for DH to bring lo to see me, or to run home at lunch, but I think I'm going to go child turkey the first week and give myself a chance to get into the swing of things and new routine. And, pumping schedule.

   

         

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• frenchchocolate611 member

  November 2014

  @lest12 - that is what I did. I only live a few minutes from the office so my DH can bring baby in sometimes or I can go home for lunch, but I thought this would be too hard for me the first week. I cried at just the thought of him so didn't have him bring DS in until my second week. Now when my DH brings him in it just makes me happy - and not sad that I can't go back home with them!

   

  

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• texasmama2014 member

  November 2014

  @JmeJoLee83‌ I go nurse LO on my long break whenever possible because I hate pumping. And I miss her.

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• ElTrain5 member

  November 2014

  Been avoiding this thread for awhile. This shit is hard. I miss my baby. Like a primal, pure, all encompassing kind miss. I'm starting to foster a deeper and deeper hatred for the people I work for. Ever since they took my third day with my son away. I don't know how much longer I can do this until I break. Definitely pushing it all down... Worried about when it will finally break through.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

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• JmeJoLee83 member

  November 2014 edited November 2014

  I have been crying for hours. I don't feel like I can drive away tomorrow. My heart is breaking. @ElTrain5‌ sorry!

  First time mommy-to-be

  E.D.D. June 1, 2014

  
  

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• ElTrain5 member

  November 2014

  @JmeJoLee83‌ I love titted in solidarity. I just keep telling myself...he's happy, he's well taken care of, he's loved. He knows how much I love him. I can see that in his face. This just has to be enough for now. It has to be..... I'm with you mama. We'll get through this.

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

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• lest12 member

  November 2014

  @JmeJoLee83‌ - I've been thinking of you the last few days. Hope your return to work is going ok.

   

         

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• JmeJoLee83 member

  November 2014 edited November 2014

  @lest12‌ so sweet of you to check in. Yesterday was probably the hardest day of my life. I cried before I left and on the way. I looked ridiculous someone asked me if I was ok?! Seriously. I got to see LO at lunch and I think that really got me through. He was extremely fussy and clingy tonight. I just feel so bad like he thinks I'm leaving him. There were less tears today but I'm pretty much going through the motions and counting down the hours til I see him. Good luck to you!!! It's not easy but if you stay busy it goes by quicker.

  First time mommy-to-be

  E.D.D. June 1, 2014

  
  

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• lest12 member

  November 2014

  @JmeJoLee83‌ - I'm glad you did ok! I'm afraid I'm also going to look ridiculous and just cry all day lol. I've contemplated not wearing make-up that first morning. Anyway... I hope you enjoyed all the snuggles you could at night - and at least tomorrow is Friday!! Wish me luck, I'm a week from Monday.

   

         

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• lest12 member

  November 2014

  Hugs @snuff9861‌. Glad you're going to the dr. Hope that you feel better soon.
  
  @ElTrain5‌, hope you're doing ok, too!

   

         

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