Anyone want to get personal? What dollar amount do you consider "enough" to live on in your area?

ladyteach0505 · November 2014

The other thread about SAHM got me wondering what is "enough"? I know in theory it's whatever covers your bills. At the same time I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around whether we will have enough for me to stay at home. I am a teacher and do okay. (No raise in six years, but cheap insurance so it balances). If I stay home next year we lose my insurance and have to pay w DHs check- about $380 a month for basic coverage and a high deductible. On top of that DH is trying to pay down student loans. As it stands now we can cover all of our bills on DH's check, but no extras for savings or major expenses. Is this how most "modest income people" do the SAHM thing or is this crazy? Fortunately we've been saving a bulk of my check for a while so we have savings, but it is scary to consider going one-income. Just looking for ideas and what other people are doing.

bjackson2688 · November 2014

What we're doing is trying to save how much i make each month and put that away.. You just have to think about if you're going to be working, how expensive daycare will be. Where I live it's about $1500 a month.. So while I have a job where I can take clients and work part time (I'm a personal trainer) working full time wouldn't be an option for us. I'm doing a combination of working from home and taking early morning clients (6am-10am). It's a hard decision but I think if you get creative it can work.. Maybe if you could find a way to teach online classes, you could make some extra income.. I'm not sure how realistic that is but it could work!

emu0013 · November 2014

We live in NH, not far from Boston, and moved here last summer for DH's job. It is super expensive and I honestly think that we would need a min $200K to live comfortably. The home we bought was over $400K, and I am certain I could have gotten the same thing in the mid-west for $275K. property taxes are super pricey here too, we pay close to 12K per year, (although we have no sales tax). Also our registration for our cars totaled 5K last year. I was used to paying 600 total in Michigan. It's difficult to go out to dinner and pay less than $100 for us and my daughter. We make a very good living but, it makes me feel like we would be able to do so much more back in the midwest. DH was told he would probably only be here 2-3 years before he was transferred. I am hoping sooner rather than later!

CamoBride2010 · November 2014

We live in a super poor area which has it's ups and downs. Up- everyone is poor, down-EVERYONE is poor lol. No seriously though, property around here is super cheap, we live in the middle of nowhere so you have to drive a good ways to get to stores. The upside is we can grow and raise a lot of what we need. The median income for a family around here is around $35,000, which is about what we made when I worked ( I only worked part time). Luckily I graduated with zero debt and we own all our cars outright. Insurance cost are currently eating us alive combined with a $2,000 deductible per person ($4,000 for family). Which I know others have much higher but for us that is a lot of money. The sad part is when I first got pregnant with DD it was $200 a person or $400 for family. That literally changed one month after I got pregnant, yay....We are able to save some money thanks to working extra little jobs ( mowing his grandparents in the summer, my babysitting, H's overtime, trapping season). So it is possible to get by on very little. The big factor is the cost of living where you live. Going one income was very scary for us at first but honestly I didn't make enough to pay for child care, formula and diaper plus drive 45 mins to work for $8.36 an hour. Also, the child tax credit has been super nice. We always pay off a few bills then tuck the rest of that away in savings. You just need to take a hard look at how much you guys need to survive to determine how easily you will be able to stay home. For us it was easy, I didn't make enough to cover the "extras" for a baby, and hubby carried the insurance anyways.

lgsdesigner · November 2014

It really depends on your debt to income ratio. You could make $50,000 and be fine, or make $50,000 and have to get welfare. It all varies on your life situation.

ladyteach0505 · November 2014

Hmm good input. I'm Midwest so childcare is about 1,000 a month and I clear about 2,2000 plus good insurance. So you can see it's not a clear open and shut decision. DHs crap insurance is 380 but the deductible is 3,000 with a max of 11,000 a year out of pocket. ( I know some people pay a lot more but to me that's insane. Again, a teacher perk.)

I suppose, very selfishly, I feel like I can't imagine doing daycare next year after going through infertility treatments this year. I just want to stay home. I hate my job and being away from the baby will make me hate it more. But perhaps that's a selfish way of thinking when so many other people do it all the time.

Definitely looking into online teaching jobs already. I hope somwthing will make itself obvious, but that's too easy, isn't it?

In the meantime we are locked into a cell contract for two smartphones. (I told DH we'd regret it...) That runs us just under 200 for the next year.

Luckily we've worked hard to get the cars paid off and my loans paid off. DH is job searching for something better so we have room to save money and do retirement contributions next year. I'm hoping something pans out for him.

gsancho · November 2014

I agree it depends on where you live, daycare costs, and your debt situation. We're also considering me being home, even if it's just for a year or so after baby is here. But we've had some circumstances come up recently where we were able to get rid of our debt (minus student loans) and put away a good amount of savings. Ideally, we won't have to touch our savings, though.

Can you tutor? Or if you teach younger kids, maybe do a reading program one or two days a week or in the summer?

soofttie · November 2014

We live in a blue collar town. Our city has been ranked #1 city to live in for years now. (Augusta, GA) however we also have the highest welfare ratio in the state. (2/3 people are on it) We own a new build home for $160,000 BUT wages are low. If you make $14+ an hour you probably are a manager... In a white collar office that's a well known company. Most jobs are $8-10 an hour. Usually a family can live "comfortably" around here on $80,000 a year. But most live in 20-40 & welfare. The funny part is most women in our town don't work or if they do its part time. We just make do.

KellyFM522 · November 2014

We live in NYC where our rent takes out a gigantic chunk of DHs salary. He has a great job in finance and does really well, but it never seems like enough. We were bleeding money in our apartment in Battery Park, we got creative and found a run down rental in the financial district and brokered a deal to renovate the apartment in exchange for 3 years worth of rent. So I'm now comfortably in a 2 bedroom, essentially brand new place all my design with a washer and dryer, which is huge. If you break down our renovation costs over 3 years we are essentially paying $1,000 dollars less in rent each month. We couldn't have stayed in the city if we didn't do this. We are excited that we'll pay off all our Reno costs in just a couple months and will be banking paychecks for awhile. It's not easy to live here, everything is marked up and more expensive- we could afford to have a car. but couldn't handle a car + $500/month parking. But I'm not ready to live anywhere else.

sabriel1 · November 2014

I live in a rural part of Canada that has a pretty low cost of living and to live comfortably we would need to take home $3,100 per month. Fortunately we don't have to factor in the cost of health insurance here that much since the cost is pretty small.

We are very frugal but we still have the money for all the things we want. We don't go on big vacations, just small weekend ones but that's not really important to us. We have a mortgage and car debt but have been paying extra on the mortgage.

ETA: about 45-50k per year

CTcoffeequeen · November 2014

We are in Connecticut, and it is very very expensive to live here. We live off of DH's salary which is 75-85k, depending on overtime. However, my husband inherited our house so we don't have a mortgage payment, just a home equity loan for the massive amount of renovations done/in the works.

Pintobean39 · November 2014

I SAH but my husband makes really good money which allows me to do that. I did get an offer for a job making 85k but it would require me to commute almost an hour away, I'd have to pay for day care which is about 10-12k a yr, and almost half my paycheck would go to taxes. My husband works ALL the time so he would never be able to help me at home. So honestly it's just not worth it to me. He goes to work I handle everything else. I think the mean income where I live is maybe 45-50k, I live in a suburb of a larger city so it's cheaper.

We try to not finance anything. We have no credit card debt and no car notes. We do have 3 houses but 2 are rented and are self sufficient. My husband does have a lot of student loan debt that we will be paying on until we die. We are in no way house poor, we could have bought a much bigger house but we chose not to. We have retirement set up for when my husband reaches age 62 based on our income now and we put money in the savings every month that I don't touch if at all possible.

I don't think I could be a SAHM if we didn't have extra money to put away for rainy days. I have 3 months expenses put away in a savings, I'd rather 6 month but IVF screwed that up. I've just gone through so much in life and you never know when the shit is going to hit the fan so I try to prepare just in case. The accountant in me comes out in me with how I handle our finances. I'm also really tight with money, which I guess is good.

ETA: I'd guess housing cost here for middle class maybe runs 200-250k.

Sarahbmcd · November 2014

Honestly you can get by just fine on 50k-60k a year. Housing Is cheaper, day cares are cheaper. If I just went 10 min over into Ky the cost of living is even less.

ETA: Also we got married a year and a half ago and every single one of my personal bills/debt will be paid off by may, most before feb. Then my husband just has student loans. Both cars are paid off as well. We're living pretty comfortably. Honestly if he got a promotion we would consider me being a sahm or maybe just work part time.

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manacita · November 2014

Going back to work as a teacher is super hard. You spend all day raising other people's kids while someone else raises your own. I did it for the first year with ds and really regret it. Once we had two kids, we couldn't afford for me to work and them to be in childcare.

As other people have said, take all of your paycheck and put it in savings for the rest of your pregnancy. Live on dh's paycheck alone. See if you can do that.

Don't forget, you save a lot of money by not working. Clothes, gas, food, etc. so you'll get a little bit of that too.

Do what works for you and feel free to change your mind. If you go back to work and realize that you want to stay home, quit. You're allowed to do that. If you realize how much you miss work and want to interact with other humans, keep working.

Good luck-
Xoxo

OnceInLoveWithAmy · November 2014

I live in a very very expensive area of the country (outside Philadelphia). Together my husband and I make six figures, and I'm scared to death to loose my salary come May. I'll have real estate, but it's not a constant paycheck.

blitzy23 · November 2014

@emu0013‌ : many homes in the midwest are well over a million dollars.. careful about broad blanket statements.

This is an interesting topic! I'm still on the fence about what I will do after baby is born. I think I will work 10- 20 hours a week because I like my job, and the extra income will be nice. I'm self employed, so it's fortunately very easy to pick up or drop hours. I am also always cautious and mindful of the fact that no income is ever guaranteed, so we keep our expenses down just in case something were to happen.

HSTeacherHeidi · November 2014

I'm a teacher living in Southern California....combined me and my husband make about 150K a year...just bought a house for 520K (big but fixer)...and own a condo we rent. DH says I need to keep working, taking home one paycheck after taxes of a little over 4K won't be enough to support mortgages, keep putting more away in savings and Roth IRA, 403b, etc...

I think we may be able to do it-but I'd be tight.

Crazy how different areas, the $$ to live off varies SO much

bczappas · November 2014

We rent a cute little cheap town house in Pittsburgh and live off of one income. Honestly after reading how much all of you ladies make kind of makes me embarrassed to share how much we live off of. My husband makes almost $40K. I am able to stay home but we are always tight on money. Some months are better than others where we are able to do fun things, but other months we have to make sure we watch what we spend our money on and make sure we spend the minimum. Anyways, we live a simple life.. As stressful as it can be to not have as much money as others do.. we have a nice home, clothes on our backs, food in the kitchen, a happy 4 year old and a healthy baby in my belly so really that's all I could ask for.

emu0013 · November 2014

@blitzy23, I could have clarified, I was comparing where we lived in the midwest in MI to where we live now. I just know that where we live now is one of the highest COL areas in the US. I am aware that all all areas have million dollar homes in certain areas. Those would not be homes I would be considering! haha!

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dj99 · November 2014

We live in CT. It's definitely expensive to live around here. We make good money with our two incomes combined but it would be difficult to live of just DH income alone. We do have some debt from when we were younger, mostly to the renovations we did to the house which we're trying to pay down now. Daycare around here is about $1200 per month but my FIL is home now so he will be watching the baby.

jraeohyeaaa · November 2014

We are military so DH's income is consistent and he has job security which is nice for us. We have only been married a little over a year and I have been teaching for less than that. In FL teachers get paid crap so we have lived off his salary and saved mine. He ranks up to O2 in May when the baby comes so that pay raise will be a huge gift to us. Because we are renting a townhouse right now I can't speak to COL in terms of that but we have a 2 bed place for less than $800 a month. We can do groceries at the commissary for cheaper and it helps that all our health insurance is free. We are moving to TX soon so not sure what the COL will be like there but we are grateful for all the military benefits because it will enable me to stay at home with our baby.

Another thing that really helps is to pay off all your debt quickly! We own two cars (no car payments) and all our student loans will be paid off within two years because we are being aggressive about it. We are also excluded from certain state taxes because we are military.

CTcoffeequeen · November 2014

dj99 said:
We live in CT. It's definitely expensive to live around here. We make good money with our two incomes combined but it would be difficult to live of just DH income alone. We do have some debt from when we were younger, mostly to the renovations we did to the house which we're trying to pay down now. Daycare around here is about $1200 per month but my FIL is home now so he will be watching the baby.

Where in CT? I am south eastern

ClarkGriswold · November 2014

We are fortunate enough to live in a LCOL. I stay at home, but my Dh has to work long hours out of town. It is easier for me to be able to stay at home with him working so much. If I did work, as a full time teacher, I would only make 1/7 of what my DH does.(We also live in a state with one of the lowest paying rates for teachers) That made the choice for me to SAH really easy.

ETA.. Forgot to answer the original question. Depending on debt, I think a family could live comfortably on about 50,000ish a year.

2undertwo2bee · November 2014

My husband is in the military but we live clost to dc and baltimore so cost of living is high (compared to texas where we were). But luckily our insurance and anything medical is taken care of. We choose to live in a home under our bah so we are able to pocket some of that money. We have a new car, and the only debt we have is student loans which we pay on. We put money in retirement, and end up with a good amount left over every month. If you add everything together he brings home roughly 4,000.00 a month after taxes which more than covers our lifestyle. I say it all depends on how you live, and what your debt is.

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jraeohyeaaa · November 2014

AFwifelife said:

jraeohyeaaa said:

We are military so DH's income is consistent and he has job security which is nice for us. We have only been married a little over a year and I have been teaching for less than that. In FL teachers get paid crap so we have lived off his salary and saved mine. He ranks up to O2 in May when the baby comes so that pay raise will be a huge gift to us. Because we are renting a townhouse right now I can't speak to COL in terms of that but we have a 2 bed place for less than $800 a month. We can do groceries at the commissary for cheaper and it helps that all our health insurance is free. We are moving to TX soon so not sure what the COL will be like there but we are grateful for all the military benefits because it will enable me to stay at home with our baby.

Another thing that really helps is to pay off all your debt quickly! We own two cars (no car payments) and all our student loans will be paid off within two years because we are being aggressive about it. We are also excluded from certain state taxes because we are military.

What taxes are you exempt from?

Oops- I misspoke. The deal with military is that we can choose any state where we are stationed and make that our place of residency indefinitely. So we have no state income tax b/c we became Florida residents. So the benefit is that even when we move in a few months we can remain Florida residents for tax purposes, and have no income tax even when we live in a state that does.

jraeohyeaaa · November 2014

AFwifelife said:

jraeohyeaaa said:

AFwifelife said:

jraeohyeaaa said:

We are military so DH's income is consistent and he has job security which is nice for us. We have only been married a little over a year and I have been teaching for less than that. In FL teachers get paid crap so we have lived off his salary and saved mine. He ranks up to O2 in May when the baby comes so that pay raise will be a huge gift to us. Because we are renting a townhouse right now I can't speak to COL in terms of that but we have a 2 bed place for less than $800 a month. We can do groceries at the commissary for cheaper and it helps that all our health insurance is free. We are moving to TX soon so not sure what the COL will be like there but we are grateful for all the military benefits because it will enable me to stay at home with our baby.

Another thing that really helps is to pay off all your debt quickly! We own two cars (no car payments) and all our student loans will be paid off within two years because we are being aggressive about it. We are also excluded from certain state taxes because we are military.

What taxes are you exempt from?
Oops- I misspoke. The deal with military is that we can choose any state where we are stationed and make that our place of residency indefinitely. So we have no state income tax b/c we became Florida residents. So the benefit is that even when we move in a few months we can remain Florida residents for tax purposes, and have no income tax even when we live in a state that does.

I was going to say. Florida doesn't have a state income tax so you aren't getting a special consideration being military (we are also military and true Florida residents).

Yep

my husband deals with all of that so I knew we weren't paying a tax for some reason, a reason pertaining to us being military. After I posted that I thought I may not be right and googled it haha.

blitzy23 · November 2014

@emu0013‌ gotcha! Lol I'm from the Chicago area, and was thinking about those homes! It's crazy how you could have the same home in 2 different places, yet have 100,000's of dollars difference in price!

JenGrl8503 · November 2014

blitzy23 said:

@emu0013‌ : many homes in the midwest are well over a million dollars.. careful about broad blanket statements.

It's true, there are plenty of million dollar homes in the midwest but I get what @emu0013 was saying as I too am from MI originally and spent 7 years in OH as well but now live on Long Island....in the most places in the midwest (biggest exception being Chicago) you can get into a good school district at a reasonable home price tag. In the greater NYC area (NYC, CT, NJ, and Long Island) that is typically not the case...at all. On Long Island, even million dollar homes don't necessarily get you a good school district as there are only 2-3 top school districts on an island of 3 million people. Sorry @blitzy23 just saw your response after I posted!

We pay $1400/month for about 600 sq ft....they could charge $2000+ but it was wrecked by the tenant before us and we did all the repairs ourselves and we're incredibly fortunate they've left the rent the same even after 3 years. We have 1 car payment and we pay about $200/month on our student loans. Groceries are typically $450ish a month. Gas is about $300 (but my husband works from home and I work a mile away so that's with out any major commuting!!!) My husband works from home so he is our morning childcare and I only work part-time (fulltime childcare for 2 would be almost $4000 a month)....we get by on about $70,000 a year but it is HARD.

For us the sacrifice is worth it because my husband LOVES his job. He had a hard time figuring out what he wanted to do with his life and had some very frustrating jobs before landing in his current field...it doesn't pay well but I have a happy husband. I'd much rather live a little tight then have an angry, frustrated husband.

As a contrast, my husband is looking into a transfer back to MI...based on the cost of living in the area (fairly rural) that we'd be, we could live very comfortably on $45,000/year....a huge contrast to just getting by in NY. I'm voting for MI

dukwok · November 2014

We live in San Diego, and I would say "comfortable" would be a combined income of 150k/year...and that's a conservative estimate. I just finished my MA, and am still working on collecting 3000 hours of client hours towards licensure, but I thinking I may have to slow down or put that on hold come May. I'm freaking out inside, and DH and I are hoping & praying for a great job opportunity for him out of state. I don't know how people in California do it! I'd say we're probably better off than most our peers, but I still don't feel like we're "comfortable" or we've "made it".

evakatharina · November 2014

We can make it right now on ~$3000 (need to take home $36,000/year) in a moderate cost area a month (this includes many things I consider luxuries- a nice car, a small but nice house, nice food to cook at home, occasional treats), but that's if we don't save anything. We don't have debt except our mortgage, and car, and we only have the car loan because the interest is so low (1.2%) that we are better off investing than paying off the car. We have the cash in the bank to pay off the car at any time. I don't feel "comfortable" whatsoever not being able to save though. To be comfortable in my mind we'd need to be able to cover expenses plus put at least that much into investments every year (take home minimum of $72000)... but I have very ambitious retirement goals. Many people could be comfortable in this area for less than that.

dancegurl1118 · November 2014

I live along the 95 corridor in CT and it is disgusting how expensive it is (not to mention it is significantly cheaper than where I grew up in CT). DH and I both have great jobs and take home almost 8k a month, yet are renting a small apt, he drives an old car, and don't have the money for a down payment yet. We also have 70k in student loans which is eating us alive (whittled down from 120k 2 years ago). I will absolutely have to continue working full time, and daycare costs will run 1000 a month PART TIME. I work nights, so I will be foregoing any more than 3 hours sleep for awhile. Discouraging...but we will live.

KellyFM522 · November 2014

@JerseyAKL‌ google NY Times why renters renovate.

It was the smartest thing we ever did.

dj99 · November 2014

CTcoffeequeen said:

We live in CT. It's definitely expensive to live around here. We make good money with our two incomes combined but it would be difficult to live of just DH income alone. We do have some debt from when we were younger, mostly to the renovations we did to the house which we're trying to pay down now. Daycare around here is about $1200 per month but my FIL is home now so he will be watching the baby.
Where in CT? I am south eastern

Litchfield county

a316b · November 2014

DH does really well, can't complain. His check pays for food, mortgage, utilities, fun$ etc. as well as a healthy savings.

I make a pretty decent salary for a teacher (highest paid district in my state), but the cost of living is also pretty high around here.

I get paid bi-weekly, and one of my pay checks will cover childcare costs for our three kids. That is just writing the check to daycare & preschool. My other paycheck every month covers Rx costs (my son and I have asthma, I have bad allergies), doc visits, gasoline, and our car payment.

Could we do it without my income? Yes. Our savings per month would be significantly smaller.

But we've decided that we like to live comfortably, take vacations, etc. And frankly, I like having "adult time" while I'm at work. (I LOVE my children, my kids even attend preschool at the HS where I teach, but 24/7 mommy time and peeing with an audience is sometimes stressful as many of you know.)

Ultimately, I know people who work it out both ways. This is the best scenario for my family.

Childcare costs in some areas are absolutely ridiculous and I've heard friends say that they work in order to pay for childcare and break even. Working while momming can be stressful too, especially if there is not to much incentive other than "adult time".

coastlinemama · November 2014

@emu0013 Where in NH? I'm from Atkinson but I live in Haverhill now. It sounds like you're probably in my area.

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LolaCachia · November 2014

It's so so dependent on your debt to income ratio, but in our area next to Ann Arbor, MI the cost of living is relatively low. We just built new construction 2700sqft for 215 one year ago with plenty of upgrades, we have 2 car leases with insurance, 2 smartphones, cable, internet, about 150/week grocery bill, have retirement and investment plans through my DH's work, and generally don't worry about budgeting, and we are comfortable at about 85k per year give or take some depending on how much or little OT my husband works.

Lately, I've actually been feeling like we are spending way too much and way too freely, and I want us to reign it in. I don't think we are putting enough into our actual savings account because we are so conscious of his retirement and investment accounts.

emu0013 · November 2014

@2015mamatobe and @coastline I am in brookline, nh!

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Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
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Anyone want to get personal? What dollar amount do you consider "enough" to live on in your area?

Re: Anyone want to get personal? What dollar amount do you consider &quot;enough&quot; to live on in your area?

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Re: Anyone want to get personal? What dollar amount do you consider "enough" to live on in your area?

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!