What's with all the negativity?!?!

wtbratcher · November 2014

We are grown women with a / or multiple miracles growing inside us. Can we please support each other? I understand there is "rules"; but back off the childish bullying, especially if someone posts a question that you may think is common knowledge or "has been asked a million times". If you can't add to the post, move on! No need for any negativity or condescending remarks. The moderator can be the one to gently remind one of the rules.

aeseaborne11 · November 2014

No kidding I just seen one this morning and thought how pathetic...don't you have better things to do then read post just to write a stupid comment on it! We need support not negativity!

TeacherMama7 · November 2014

I like your idea about just not responding of someone is annoyed by a post. We don't have to respond to everything!

a5swanson · November 2014

Something tells me this thread will get interesting... Grabbing popcorn now!

KikiCohen · November 2014

a5swanson said:

Something tells me this thread will get interesting... Grabbing popcorn now!

If popcorn didn't sound so gross right now, I'd totally agree with you. I'll just sip my ginger ale instead

Mrs Sweet Tea · November 2014

What happened to, "if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all"? Some say they are just being "real", but I believe you can be real and polite.

a5swanson · November 2014

Where are you guys seeing the adult bullying? I've been looking through a lot of posts today and didn't see anything too out of the ordinary.

PinkRoses53 · November 2014

I've been on the knot and bump for almost 6 years now and it has seemed to get worse in terms of people being rude or bitchy to each other. I don't get why people get so annoyed by duplicate posts. It's going to happen.

It is interesting because I noticed when my March '13 group moved to facebook, people were instantly way more supportive when they weren't hiding behind an anonymous internet name.

kckov · November 2014

I read that this morning and have noticed all the nasty comments on repeat posts, honestly the first trimester is so stressful bc your full of so much worry idc if we post the same question 18 times. That person may just need some reassurance to get piece of mind for awhile it's so sad to see people complaining and being so rude. We just need to be supportive!

wtbratcher · November 2014

@a5swanson - the condescending remark that made me ask about the negativity was under "morning sickness" just this morning. I feel like I see something every day, though. It's truly sad.

@budders12 - what I have seen is bullying. Meanness is meanness. Which is what I call bullying.

dranic0706 · November 2014

THANKK YOUU!! Someone posted something about having cramps at 5 weeks I believe it was, and someone else commented on it saying "congrats you're pregnant" are you kidding me!?!? This person had a legit question and that's ALL you can say?? What if it's more serious? Why not comment you should talk to your doctor or ask how serious the cramps are, in case some of you have forgotten some of us our NEW scared mothers that have a ton of questions!! I know personally I don't want to call my doctor over every little thing & after finding this page I was thrilled!!! And now? Not so much, I've seen sooo many rude comments! I now know if I have a question I WONT be asking it on here, so many mothers are so catty to those who are scared and confused and just are seeking for people who had similar problems. & for those of you who say read the first blog, THEY ARE ALL ESSAYS! I can barely find a similar question I have in there because there are over 600 people commenting on it every five flippin seconds! I'd rather ask my simple question and get a simple answer NICELY!! HOW HARD IS THAT!!??

kimmarie1105 · November 2014

.

EricaD777 · November 2014

@PinkRoses53 I am on the March '13 FB group! Are we in the same one?

Mrs Sweet Tea · November 2014

@Budders12‌ people can "have their say" but they do not need to do so in a way that is a direct attack on others as I have seen happen on multiple occasions and have experienced myself. You are correct, life is not all sunshine and rainbows, so why make it any harder and crueler than it has to be?

wtbratcher · November 2014

I don't understand why anyone would be against this request and defend the negativity. Who wants more of that in their life?!?! I'm just asking us to support one another, like most of us are here for.

mrscampos4life · November 2014

Budders12 said:

Mrs Sweet Tea said:

What happened to, "if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all"? Some say they are just being "real", but I believe you can be real and polite.

I agree with this. But the problem is, even the politest response is not always taken as so by the person receiving it. Many, many times on this board and others on the site, people jump on anyone who doesn't give them exactly the feedback or response that they were looking for, regardless of the politeness of the message.

And for saying something "nice": life isn't sunshine and rainbows. Some answers are not in the neat little box that everyone is looking for. I don't just agree with everything that everyone says and does to "get along". I do always aim to express my views and my take on things politely and respectfully. But I should be able to have my say, just as all of you are able to have yours and disagree.

Preach @Budders12‌ preach!

KikiCohen · November 2014

I haven't read through every thread or every response on this board (who has that kind of time???), but I haven't seen anything even close to bullying, negativity, "meanness", etc in what I have read.

Yes, the first tri is a difficult, scary time. We all have questions and concerns and feel the need to reach out to others in a similar situation. That doesn't mean that everyone is going to react the way that you want to your post.

And if anyone is truly butthurt now, you had better buckle your seat belts or find a different forum b/c pretty soon we're all going to be talking about topics like BF vs FF, the different types of birth, circumcision, and a whole lot of others thing that bring out the crazy.

PinkRoses53 · November 2014

EricaD777 said:

@PinkRoses53 I am on the March '13 FB group! Are we in the same one?

@EricaD777 hmm..I'm not sure. I'm only in the MML spin off group of the main one started by Christa. Are you in Christa's group?

dranic0706 · November 2014

I get what your saying about needing to show support to those about going through a miscarriage, but what about those who are seeking advice as a new mom. Whether it's about something as simple as morning sickness or something more serious?

kimmarie1105 · November 2014

Starting a post like this is intentionally looking for drama. Nobody here has been a bully in any way. The only people I have seen act in a nasty manner are the ones claiming to dislike any sort of attitude. Please go read the pee pee thread for proof.
Additionally, if you think you are going to be part of a forum with 100's of other pregnant women, and everybody is going to mesh well, I not only question your sanity but your level of common sense as well.

dranic0706 · November 2014

Okay... No. When I was cramping at 7 weeks I googled and it said I was miscarring and GUESS WHAT I'm 9 weeks now. I used to google everything and Google puts the WORST possible thoughts into your head I don't trust google, I'd rather trust mothers who are going to most likely be going through the same things I am. Yes a miscarriage is serious and deserves all the attention it can get. But I don't feel that new scared moms should be put down because they have a question. Sorry for the typos

PinkRoses53 · November 2014

kimmarie1105 said:

Additionally, if you think you are going to be part of a forum with 100's of other pregnant women, and everybody is going to mesh well, I not only question your sanity but your level of common sense as well.

I believe people can disagree respectfully without being outright rude.

holliberry28 · November 2014

@dranic0706, it's understandable not to want to google anything, because it's always worse case scenario. Noone here is trying to be mean. If you have a fear or a concern, there's always the Symptoms/No Symptoms thread where you can post, and will receive feedback from others.

You can always search within this board for the same question, and get probably 20+ threads on the same topic.

kimmarie1105 · November 2014

PinkRoses53 said:

kimmarie1105 said:

Additionally, if you think you are going to be part of a forum with 100's of other pregnant women, and everybody is going to mesh well, I not only question your sanity but your level of common sense as well.

I believe people can disagree respectfully without being outright rude.

Yup! So do I. However I don't like when people act backhanded. Starting a post about not wanting negativity when you know it will start drama is backhanded. I've been around the bump long enough to know that there are those people who claim to hate the drama and the negativity, yet they are the ones that are always smack in the middle of it. I've also seen actual disrespect and bitchiness, neither if which I have seen here. Except from those who are "against it".

wtbratcher · November 2014

I'm asking for us to be supportive to EVERYONE (whether you leave a comment or leave it to someone else that can add to it) and a few of you are defending the opposite. Do you not see an issue with that? I'm not one to let people get picked on.

@kimmarie1105 - you would call this a post for drama! It was your condescending remark this morning that put me over the edge.

kimmarie1105 · November 2014

I "put you over the edge"?
Lol! Unstable?
So let me get this straight, if you don't like a question, or post, or comment than say nothing. Ignore it. Unless you don't like a comment then make a thread complaining about people being negative. And expect it not to cause drama or negativity. For realz?

dranic0706 · November 2014

wtbratcher said:
I'm asking for us to be supportive to EVERYONE (whether you leave a comment or leave it to someone else that can add to it) and a few of you are defending the opposite. Do you not see an issue with that? I'm not one to let people get picked on.

@kimmarie1105 - you would call this a post for drama! It was your condescending remark this morning that put me over the edge.

thank you I saw her nasty post too!!! And to see her saying that YOUR the one starting drama OMG! @kimmarie1105‌
Your comment on that one poor mothers question was unnecessary and if you say that when you were a new mom & didn't ask questions like that, then your clearly full of yourself. Anyway I'm done with my input it's honestly getting no where, I'm also done with this page. I want to be able to ask my own questions and have NICE people comment back. This cattiness is unbelievable! Goodbye all! It was great while it lasted!

holliberry28 · November 2014

@wtbratcher, I don't know about you, but were you ever in class and the teacher probably went over the answer to a question 3 times in the past 10 minutes, and then someone raises their hand, and asks the same question? Doesn't that get irritating at some point?

No one is bullying, but this is a community, there are appropriate places to ask questions. It's about using some common sense and not filtering the board with repetitiveness every single day when the answers are available quite easily if you try putting in a bit of effort. We are adults here, not running circle time.

shibby00 · November 2014

@PinkRoses53‌ and @EricaD777‌ girls I was in mml until it imploded. We need to pm and see who we are!

beckynsean11 · November 2014

FFS.

shibby00 · November 2014

Op I've been on TB off and on for a long time. This is not the place for everyone. It's a pretty snarky place most of the time. There are other options if you don't feel the love here, just sayin.

kimmarie1105 · November 2014

@dranic0706‌ do we have our very first GBCB?? I

wtbratcher · November 2014

@holliberry28 - I get it, no one wants to repeat themselves. I think it's okay to pass up the post without saying a word. They will get the hint if no one answers. It's much better than leaving a ignorant comment. Like I said, the moderator can make her own rules when it comes to this. We just don't need the condescending remarks. Don't you agree? And, I still do believe there are a few bullies that we need to call out before it gets to be bad.

dranic0706 · November 2014

kimmarie1105 said:
@dranic0706‌ do we have our very first GBCB?? I

Yup! Now stop tagging me in your stupid fucking comments it's annoying.

kimmarie1105 · November 2014

If you girls think that the responses that are given here to repeat posts are nasty, I welcome you all to direct your questions to the 1st tri board. Please.

beckynsean11 · November 2014

Are people seriously bitching because someone with morning sickness (GASP!!!!!!!!!) was told "This question has never been asked. Great post!"? Really!?!?! That's called sarcasm, not bullying. This cannot be what twisted OP's tit this morning.

kimmarie1105 · November 2014

dranic0706 said:

kimmarie1105 said:
@dranic0706‌ do we have our very first GBCB?? I
Yup! Now stop tagging me in your stupid fucking comments it's annoying.

I'm sorry, who's nasty?

wtbratcher · November 2014

@Laurenlou83‌ - I'm not referring to the awesome people that are helping by redirecting; I'm referring to the people that make ignorant comments instead. My apologies if that wasn't clear in my original post. Most people here are helpful and supportive and MUCH appreciated!! Thank you to all of you!!!

holliberry28 · November 2014

@wtbratcher, first of all these "bullies" you speak of have been members of this community for quite some time, and have proven to be kind, supportive, and knowledgeable to newbies and regs alike. The ignorant comments that you speak of, are the ones we are trying to guide to more appropriate places, where it's ok to vent your fears, worries, and concerns, because that is the APPROPRIATE place for it.

If we all just ignored every single repeat post, that's all this board would be, with 2 or three comments to each silly question. You have something interesting to post, a GTKY, go right ahead. But, come on, snarky does not have to equal condescending, and if it does, maybe you need to grow a thicker skin.

dranic0706 · November 2014

kimmarie1105 said:

dranic0706 said:

kimmarie1105 said:
@dranic0706‌ do we have our very first GBCB?? I
Yup! Now stop tagging me in your stupid fucking comments it's annoying.
I'm sorry, who's nasty?

Uhh! YOU why the hell won't you leave me the fuck alone. Go bother other people seriously you're getting on my last nerve

erbear84 · November 2014

I've seen no bullying. Sarcasm =/= bullying. I'm a FTM with tons of questions and I've been able to find answers in the daily symptoms thread and by searching. It's really not that difficult.

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