Self Care Monday — The Bump
Special Needs

Self Care Monday

Upon request, weekly self-care check-ins are back.  

It can be draining (mentally, physically and emotionally) to take care of a child - or several - with special needs.  We often loose sight of taking care of ourselves, even though, it is only through taking care of ourselves that we can best care for others.  So, this post is here to provide inspiration and accountability for us - the caregivers.  Here are your questions and challenge for this week...

1) How have you been practicing self care lately?
2) What are you looking forward to most this week?

Challenge: Take at least 15 minutes for yourself every day this week.  Doesn't matter what you do, just as long as you do it for YOU.

P.S. I meant to post this yesterday (so it would be Self Care Sunday), but the day got away from me.  So, instead of waiting a whole other week, I'll just decided start this today.  The next post will, hopefully, go up on Sunday.
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Re: Self Care Monday

  • JoJoGeeJoJoGee member
    250 Answers Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its
    edited October 2014
    I'll start.

    1) The closest I have come to self-care in a while is spending time with my family.  Just this past Saturday, DH, DN, L and I all visited a local pumpkin patch.  It was fun, but of course, family outings come with their own stressors - trying to figure out the best way to transport L when we can't use her chair, and dealing with DN teenage attitude the entire time, just to name a few.

    And, other than a day where I stayed home from work because I had hand, foot and mouth disease, I don't think I've done anything for myself alone in months.

    2) There is an online church service I have started attending on Mondays.  Since I work for a church, I don't often get my spiritual needs met on Sunday morning.  And, while I do attend the online service in-part for my job, I am still really looking forward to later today. 
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    bumpuser511563[Deleted User][Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • JoJoGeeJoJoGee member
    250 Answers Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its
    edited October 2014
    Bump Burp
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  • I got my hair cut a week ago and if you know me and my hair, I am out for 3 hours at least (curly and very very thick).  I decided to go dark brown with purple-ish red highlights.  Thats not really the best description, but as accurate as I can be right now.  It has been a long day!

    :)

    Also, for the first time since DS was born (a little over 4 years) we did something for just the two of us that wasn't local.  DH really likes the show Last Comic Standing.  They had a show on Friday in a nearby city and so we drove there Friday when i got off work.  The show was HILARIOUS and they even had the comics stand in the lobby and take pics and sign autographs after the show.  Well DH loves Jo Mackie.  I wiggled my way through the crowd and DH and I got to shake his hand and get a pic of Jo with DH.  It was so fun.  We should have stayed the night, but we left shortly after and got home at 1am.  We even felt too guilty to leave the kids, so we picked them up too.  Thank goodness they stayed asleep.  We were soooo tired.  Road trips are for the young LOL (FTR I am 35).

    I do not have much to really look forward to in particular, but I am trying to figure out a way for DH to get to the gym.  He just got the "now you are 35 let's do a massive blood draw/tests" and his trigycerides are too high.  My bloodwork all came back ok, which was a relief.  Although, I would like to start figuring out an exercise plan as well. 

    I am glad we are doing this self-care Sunday.  I have been in a real slump lately and could use an excuse to take care of myself better.  DH and I had another huge fight yesterday, not really talking much to each other today.  Again, it was about whether or not DS should do this therapy or that therapy and that DH is tired of the therapists in his life and wants to just have a normal life with DS-- doesn't want to drive him to any therapies anymore.  We had an all out argument, it wasn't pleasant and I am hoping for a better week
    :(

     
    JoJoGeebumpuser511563
  • 1) I don't even know how to do self care.  The only downtime I have is Sunday and I generally have dinner with my family.  THAT'S ALL.  Self care will come in December.

    2) Well, I did meet a cute boy and I've been talking to him a while.  And we're hanging out Thursday while kiddo is at school.
    [Deleted User]JoJoGeebumpuser511563
  • Thanks @Auntie (hopefully you will see this since you are not page-able)

    The conversation was mostly about how mad he was that time was wasted on pincer grasp activities.  He says "My son is not a God-**** baby.  Why are they making him crawl or pinch cheerios and put them on a pipe cleaner?" 

    I tried to explain that his eyes do not team correctly, do not focus correctly, and he turns his head instead of his eyes to look at something.  Yes, he has a pincer grasp, but the fine motor activities are helping with fine motor in relation to vision deficits.  Its not that he can't see or that he can't put a cheerio on a stick.  Its harder for him because his eyes are not functioning properly. 

    He feels the same about OT and her crossing the mid-line activities.  He sees it as a swing or crawling, but its more than that.  Anyway, I think it was a breaking point for him.  They were explaining the homework for the week to him and I think he was stewing about it.  I have tried to explain it to him.  I have even yelled at him to call his little sister (she is getting her phd in physical therapy) to explain why these things are important and lead to better body function. 

    He went into this whole rant about how anything related to the brain is all trial and error and that doctors have not really unlocked exactly what is going on in there and began to question if we were just throwing money away on having him crawl when he can walk, run, jump etc.  (and finally ride a trike as of turning 4).  I understand his feelings but I told him I would rather regret getting the therapy than not getting the therapy.  I asked if in five years we were talking about how we should have done this or that-- its not a convo I would want to have.  He said he isn;t stopping me from doing the therapies but that he is just "done" 

    He cooled off and seems better today but I am not bringing it up again for a few days. Remember this is all very raw emotion for someone who feels his bipolar was a stigma his whole life and his parents did not make the best choices for him over his lifetime and also dx incorrectly a few times before they figured him out.  Meds are another discussion. It took a while to get those right too.  He is on some pretty heavy shit.  It scares me to think about what its doing to his body over the long run, but seriously he would probably kill himself -- I know he would-- if he was not on meds.  If he takes a dose late or skips a dose- he gets weird, depressed, anxious or talks about suicide. He knows this and is VERY careful about his meds and will openly criticize people that do not take the meds they were given.  I know its common for bipolar people to feel they have things under control and stop taking them because they don't like the fog the meds put them in.  Or, what happens even more often is a dependency on drugs or alcohol.  He is careful about alcohol because it can f*ck with your meds ALOT.

    My DH is a very creative person (we both are into performing music, I teach music publically and in my home, we both love design-- I decorate and paint/draw and he is an amateur videographer).  I know that he could have done more with his life.  He is very smart-- like most answers right on Jeopardy smart.  Bipolar has been a hurdle.  I am trying to help him get his amateur wedding videography turned into a paying gig (we have only done friends so far).  He wants it so bad and I think it would be a self-care outlet for him.  He is a very involved father.  You can't see it through these last few posts I am sure :)  But he is so good with DS (and DD that is 19 months).  he takes him to both private vision and private speech. Things are hard and we just need to get on the same page.

     
  • LOL, Man-Baby is what he calls people who call him up at work when their video game code or download does not work.  He is tech support for a major retailer for their online games and music downloads.  He says these big man-babies call and pout about their games not working and act like real asses.  He says they are in their 30s-40s and its disgusting.  He says they need to man-up and quit playing videogames in their basements.  But yes.... he was acting like a man-child the other day! 

     
    [Deleted User]HookBringsYouBack
  • Micelle78 said:
    LOL, Man-Baby is what he calls people who call him up at work when their video game code or download does not work.  He is tech support for a major retailer for their online games and music downloads.  He says these big man-babies call and pout about their games not working and act like real asses.  He says they are in their 30s-40s and its disgusting.  He says they need to man-up and quit playing videogames in their basements.  But yes.... he was acting like a man-child the other day! 
    this sounds like my ex.  He did that all the time.   If his game "lagged" at all, omg.
  • I haven't been doing so well with this lately. :P I'm completely overwhelmed by work, more than DD1 at the moment, but my work-life balance absolutely sucks right now. 

    I'm having a conversation with my boss today. Dreading it, but I really can't continue the way things are. Hopefully we can work something out. It's nerve-wracking for me, though, because I'm so non-confrontational and such a people-pleaser. 

    However, I did manage to make a phone call this week on something I've wanted for a long time -- a tattoo! I talked to the artist that I want to do it, and now I have a better idea of what it'll cost and when I can come in and have it done. It's nothing very complicated or big, but I want four birds flying across my back -- one for each person in my family. 
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    DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
    bumpuser511563JoJoGee[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • Late to the party, so I'll reflect.

    1) DS hates wearing anything but easy clothes to school (or anywhere). Sweatpants, shorts, simple t shirt, a hoodie...etc. it's because he hates taking time to button and zip up and tie up anything. We've mastered tying shoes, so no more velcro in the last few months. This past week I made him wear nicer pants with a zipper and a button. At first, he protested that it would interfere with him going to the restroom at school, but when I insisted the pants will really look cool on him, he gave it a try. Lo and behold, he buttoned them up and zipped independently. He was so proud of himself and wanted to call grandma right away! The next day he wanted his shorts again of course and I let him due to 90 degrees outside, but...victory!

    2) I went to see Gone Girl with a girlfriend of mine. It was interesting...good...and weird at the same time.
    bumpuser511563
  • Ah shit... I misunderstood the self -care. I thought it was about practicing self-care with our kiddos. Whatever, I'm leaving it, as it took me a while to post. Lol!
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