Special Needs
JoJoGee
member
Self Care Monday
JoJoGee
member
Upon request, weekly self-care check-ins are back.
It can be draining (mentally, physically and emotionally) to take care of a child - or several - with special needs. We often loose sight of taking care of ourselves, even though, it is only through taking care of ourselves that we can best care for others. So, this post is here to provide inspiration and accountability for us - the caregivers. Here are your questions and challenge for this week...
1) How have you been practicing self care lately?
2) What are you looking forward to most this week?
Challenge: Take at least 15 minutes for yourself every day this week. Doesn't matter what you do, just as long as you do it for YOU.
P.S. I meant to post this yesterday (so it would be Self Care Sunday), but the day got away from me. So, instead of waiting a whole other week, I'll just decided start this today. The next post will, hopefully, go up on Sunday.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Self Care Monday
I have also started a book "How to make friends and influence people"
2. Tonight I look forward to eating pizza for dinner with my family. Mondays are pizza night and we eat together 1-2 times a week as a family.
I look forward to the weekend in the hopes that DS and I make candy corn cookies together. I have the box mix my parents sent me.
Also, for the first time since DS was born (a little over 4 years) we did something for just the two of us that wasn't local. DH really likes the show Last Comic Standing. They had a show on Friday in a nearby city and so we drove there Friday when i got off work. The show was HILARIOUS and they even had the comics stand in the lobby and take pics and sign autographs after the show. Well DH loves Jo Mackie. I wiggled my way through the crowd and DH and I got to shake his hand and get a pic of Jo with DH. It was so fun. We should have stayed the night, but we left shortly after and got home at 1am. We even felt too guilty to leave the kids, so we picked them up too. Thank goodness they stayed asleep. We were soooo tired. Road trips are for the young LOL (FTR I am 35).
I do not have much to really look forward to in particular, but I am trying to figure out a way for DH to get to the gym. He just got the "now you are 35 let's do a massive blood draw/tests" and his trigycerides are too high. My bloodwork all came back ok, which was a relief. Although, I would like to start figuring out an exercise plan as well.
I am glad we are doing this self-care Sunday. I have been in a real slump lately and could use an excuse to take care of myself better. DH and I had another huge fight yesterday, not really talking much to each other today. Again, it was about whether or not DS should do this therapy or that therapy and that DH is tired of the therapists in his life and wants to just have a normal life with DS-- doesn't want to drive him to any therapies anymore. We had an all out argument, it wasn't pleasant and I am hoping for a better week
The conversation was mostly about how mad he was that time was wasted on pincer grasp activities. He says "My son is not a God-**** baby. Why are they making him crawl or pinch cheerios and put them on a pipe cleaner?"
I tried to explain that his eyes do not team correctly, do not focus correctly, and he turns his head instead of his eyes to look at something. Yes, he has a pincer grasp, but the fine motor activities are helping with fine motor in relation to vision deficits. Its not that he can't see or that he can't put a cheerio on a stick. Its harder for him because his eyes are not functioning properly.
He feels the same about OT and her crossing the mid-line activities. He sees it as a swing or crawling, but its more than that. Anyway, I think it was a breaking point for him. They were explaining the homework for the week to him and I think he was stewing about it. I have tried to explain it to him. I have even yelled at him to call his little sister (she is getting her phd in physical therapy) to explain why these things are important and lead to better body function.
He went into this whole rant about how anything related to the brain is all trial and error and that doctors have not really unlocked exactly what is going on in there and began to question if we were just throwing money away on having him crawl when he can walk, run, jump etc. (and finally ride a trike as of turning 4). I understand his feelings but I told him I would rather regret getting the therapy than not getting the therapy. I asked if in five years we were talking about how we should have done this or that-- its not a convo I would want to have. He said he isn;t stopping me from doing the therapies but that he is just "done"
He cooled off and seems better today but I am not bringing it up again for a few days. Remember this is all very raw emotion for someone who feels his bipolar was a stigma his whole life and his parents did not make the best choices for him over his lifetime and also dx incorrectly a few times before they figured him out. Meds are another discussion. It took a while to get those right too. He is on some pretty heavy shit. It scares me to think about what its doing to his body over the long run, but seriously he would probably kill himself -- I know he would-- if he was not on meds. If he takes a dose late or skips a dose- he gets weird, depressed, anxious or talks about suicide. He knows this and is VERY careful about his meds and will openly criticize people that do not take the meds they were given. I know its common for bipolar people to feel they have things under control and stop taking them because they don't like the fog the meds put them in. Or, what happens even more often is a dependency on drugs or alcohol. He is careful about alcohol because it can f*ck with your meds ALOT.
My DH is a very creative person (we both are into performing music, I teach music publically and in my home, we both love design-- I decorate and paint/draw and he is an amateur videographer). I know that he could have done more with his life. He is very smart-- like most answers right on Jeopardy smart. Bipolar has been a hurdle. I am trying to help him get his amateur wedding videography turned into a paying gig (we have only done friends so far). He wants it so bad and I think it would be a self-care outlet for him. He is a very involved father. You can't see it through these last few posts I am sure
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
1) DS hates wearing anything but easy clothes to school (or anywhere). Sweatpants, shorts, simple t shirt, a hoodie...etc. it's because he hates taking time to button and zip up and tie up anything. We've mastered tying shoes, so no more velcro in the last few months. This past week I made him wear nicer pants with a zipper and a button. At first, he protested that it would interfere with him going to the restroom at school, but when I insisted the pants will really look cool on him, he gave it a try. Lo and behold, he buttoned them up and zipped independently. He was so proud of himself and wanted to call grandma right away! The next day he wanted his shorts again of course and I let him due to 90 degrees outside, but...victory!
2) I went to see Gone Girl with a girlfriend of mine. It was interesting...good...and weird at the same time.