Names: The Third...

dabudans · October 2014

Does anyone else's husband want to name baby boy after themselves? How do you feel about it? Are you able to bring up other options wo upsetting him?

ST3WD · October 2014

I'm not a fan of Juniors. It puts so much pressure to make a "third", "fourth" and so on. My dad was forever scolded for not doing so with my older brother. Mom's way out of it?

"Let's wait to see who he looks like, honey."

It worked. He looked like her dad.

Edited: Werds, how doooo?

ashleyrh661 · October 2014

We gave our son my Husbands first name as a middle. It's kinda a tradition with his family and I like that way more then a Jr.

Edit: dumb autocorrect

Beamer14 · October 2014

I understand why people do the whole second, third, fourth..etc. but I think it's an outdated tradition.. give your child it's own identity!

suzyq0525 · October 2014

We are using h's name as the middle name. I'm fine with it because I chose the first name <:-P

Aeml1985 · October 2014

Our child will get my husbands last name, that's good enough for us. For a girl, a family name from my side will be her middle name.

blinksmb · October 2014

My SO is a fourth and he's made it quite clear that if it's a boy he really wants him to be the fifth. We both agree 100% that the first name is a horrible name, and as a result SO has gone by his middle name his whole life. If we give him the same name they're going to both have to go by the middle name... I just can't. It's too much.
I think he feels a lot of pressure to pass on the name like it's an obligation he has to his family. How truly unfortunate.
We find out the sex tomorrow morning so I guess we will see soon enough!

blinksmb · October 2014

AleWife said:
I think tradition is cool. However, after being in the mortgage industry for years and dealing with Jr.'s, Sr.'s, II's, III's, etc., being confused on credit reports (and many times, to my clients' detriment), there is no way I would give a son his father's name. Unfortunately, way too much depends on someone's credit rating and carried debt these days.

Erroneous reporting is highly common and to get it corrected can take ages!

We've experienced so much of this with SO it's absurd. His father has an extensive criminal background and it bites us in the ass constantly.
We've also been plagued by some random dude in Texas with the same exact name who is a registered sex offender. Once we actually had to send pictures of my SO to a potential landlord to prove that he wasn't the guy on the background report before he would even consider us for renting.

jess412love · October 2014

I completely agree with the tradition being outdated. As a compromise to my husband we gave our son his middle name, but I refused to budge on the first name.

JeepersWife · October 2014

I really think it depends! Sometimes names get so dated and I want my son to own his name. With that said, DH and DS have the same middle name and share initials...DH and I still love that we did this for DS without having a jr.

tatilopez · October 2014

I actually don't mind if I have a boy for him to be a junior. It's an awesome name and my husband is an awesome man and we'll teach our son individuality. Being a junior doesn't mean filling your fathers shoes. Just carrying a family name while trying to fit into your own shoes. However we've decided on my hubby's first name with a different middle name that we both love so it sort of works out.

koshveily · October 2014

My husband is a Jr and son is the III. It hasn't been a problem for us... And my husband and son have both expressed how much they love being named after their fathers. It's a bond thing and I'm so glad we carried on the tradition. Of course, it helps that Daniel is a good, timeless name.

stepherly · October 2014

ashleyrh661 said:
We gave our son my Husbands first name as a middle. It's kinda a tradition with his family and I like that way more then a Jr.

Edit: dumb autocorrect

The men in my family do this too.

ngolimento · October 2014

I have an unusual perspective on the issue: I work in the financial industry. Let me tell you, it cab be a financial nightmare to go the Jr. Route.

I can't tell you how many teenagers and young adults have stolen/used thier father's ID or substituted thier own IDs for illegal activities, or general access to accounts. It's heartbreaking when it happens, but oh does it happen.

Also, even if you have an angel kid who never steals money, I have seen it happen that the wrong person is declared deceased on an account. Once one institution accidentally reports you as dead, things turn into a nightmare for you. We are talking about several DECADES of trying to prove you are alive to everyone. It's hard enough to do if your name is different than an existing death certificate, but forget about it if your name matches it.

Mrs. jk3a · October 2014

We decided before we even had kids that there wouldn't be any juniors. My dad and brother have the same first name and they sti have stuff messed with their credit and mail.

MissyCee · October 2014

H has never been interested in having a child named after himself. Though it also isn't a tradition in his family either.

I've never quite understood why in this day and age someone would want to name a child after themselves but to each their own! What matters is if it's what YOU want.

mangomimosa · October 2014

After reading this thread all I can say is 1) the tradition makes me roll my eyes - it seems dated & ... Idk -- territorial? & 2) thank god neither of our families does it.

dabudans · October 2014

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. You've given me some great ways to start a discussion around naming the little guy. Now... Don't even get me started on my problems with last names in the US

MeganPobega · October 2014

I would never name my son after their father. I believe they should have their own names and be individuals. If my SO was to pass away before baby was born, I would probably consider it. Just to honor them.

randomnames · October 2014

I love traditions and I love the idea of using a family name as a middle name, but I want my kids to have their own first names so they aren't constantly compared to whoever they are named after. My dad's exact name has been in his family for centuries, so long that they don't bother with thirds fourth etc anymore. I know 4 people currently living with his exact same name. The middle name is one that I've only ever seen in my family, so we made that my son's mn. That way I'm still giving him a piece of that tradition.

schnitz9 · October 2014

Lurking from F15. My DH is a junior and we wanted to keep a family name. Instead of naming our son a III we decided to use my DH and FIL middle name as little guys first name. My husbands first name is richard and we didn't feel comfortable having 3 dicks in a room. My DH is catholic so his first name as my DH says is a good strong catholic name. And I'm jewish snd my sons middle name will be after my grandfather who has passed. We have managed to satisfy everyone and everyone is happy!

MalVough · October 2014

Yep. If it's a boy, he'll carry on the family name. He would be the fifth.

We've been calling the peanut "J5."

I went into this knowing a boy would be James V, mostly because I know how important it is to SO's family and I genuinely respect and enjoy them.

Even the cousins (the boys) have James for their middle names.

But I'm totally calling dibs on the girl name!

Haps92907 · October 2014

I'm not a fan. Luckily for me, neither is DH, so it was never a discussion for us. My brother is a III, and the name is extremely formal. He and my father both go by nicknames that don't even really relate or sound like their actual formal name. It's confusing. Also just generally NMS.

071115 · October 2014

Our son is having the same middle name and last name.
I personally hate sr. Junior. Everyone deserve there own name.

mermaid1113 · October 2014

My DH doesn't want to do this, but we will probably end up using his MN if we have a boy. I had a friend who "had" to do this. It was 4th generation so she didn't have much say. I am glad that is not my situation.

JNCPro3130 · October 2014

MalVough said:

Yep. If it's a boy, he'll carry on the family name. He would be the fifth. We've been calling the peanut "J5." I went into this knowing a boy would be James V, mostly because I know how important it is to SO's family and I genuinely respect and enjoy them. Even the cousins (the boys) have James for their middle names. But I'm totally calling dibs on the girl name!

This is almost exactly our situation. If we have a boy he will be the fourth. DH spent a lot of time researching and doing family tree stuff. It means a lot to him. His family is delightful, so I have no problem continuing the tradition. Personally, I don't think it takes anything away from my husband's identity to be named after his dad. I guess this is an UO.

@MalVough, since your SO's the 4th, what does his family call him? That's the only thing about this that bothers me. DH's name is John, so there isn't much in the way of a NN, so I'm having trouble with what to call the baby if it is a boy.

Beamer14 · October 2014

mcbush said:
I'll be in the minority here. H is a fourth, if we have a boy it will be a fifth. Names are important in my Hs family. My family has so few traditions that I don't mind honoring this. As for their own identity, sorry that's a lame excuse. Are you telling me if your child has the same name as someone else in the family or as a classmate that they will be the same? Uh no. We get creative with nicknames. Our son would be called Quinn (like quint, five) even tho his formal name would be William. To boot, jr, the third, and the fourth all have home addresses in the same town. Thankfully all good people with good credit and I'm not worried. Besides, since he "picked" the boys name I get to pick the girls.

Then why not name your kid Quinn? What's the point of carrying on a name if he will be called something not even close to the original??? It honestly seems pointless...

Haps92907 · October 2014

Beamer14 said:

I'll be in the minority here. H is a fourth, if we have a boy it will be a fifth. Names are important in my Hs family. My family has so few traditions that I don't mind honoring this. As for their own identity, sorry that's a lame excuse. Are you telling me if your child has the same name as someone else in the family or as a classmate that they will be the same? Uh no. We get creative with nicknames. Our son would be called Quinn (like quint, five) even tho his formal name would be William. To boot, jr, the third, and the fourth all have home addresses in the same town. Thankfully all good people with good credit and I'm not worried. Besides, since he "picked" the boys name I get to pick the girls.
Then why not name your kid Quinn? What's the point of carrying on a name if he will be called something not even close to the original??? It honestly seems pointless...

This is how it is in my family too. My father (Jr) and brother (III) are both called by names that in no way relate to their actual given name. The back story is that my grandfather wanted to name their firstborn after himself, but my grandmother had her heart set on a different name. She (clever old witch) "gave in," and they named him after my grandmother, but from day 1, she (and everyone else) called him by the name she had wanted. Lol

Unknown · October 2014

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MalVough · October 2014

JNCPro3130 said:

MalVough said:

Yep. If it's a boy, he'll carry on the family name. He would be the fifth.

We've been calling the peanut "J5."

I went into this knowing a boy would be James V, mostly because I know how important it is to SO's family and I genuinely respect and enjoy them.

Even the cousins (the boys) have James for their middle names.

But I'm totally calling dibs on the girl name!

This is almost exactly our situation. If we have a boy he will be the fourth. DH spent a lot of time researching and doing family tree stuff. It means a lot to him. His family is delightful, so I have no problem continuing the tradition. Personally, I don't think it takes anything away from my husband's identity to be named after his dad. I guess this is an UO.

@MalVough, since your SO's the 4th, what does his family call him? That's the only thing about this that bothers me. DH's name is John, so there isn't much in the way of a NN, so I'm having trouble with what to call the baby if it is a boy.

*******

His dad goes by "Granny" (a longtime nickname) or Jim. My SO goes by Jimmy or James.

How would we address LO (if a boy)? To be determined. Maybe J5 will stick! I'm not too worried about it. Something will come along and stick, whether it's James or a variation.

We have two Johns in the family. We distinguish them by Big John and Little John. There's also the option of Johnny.

mamajack86 · October 2014

My husband is a Jr., when I asked if he'd want a III , I got a very quick "no, never"

colleen4019 · October 2014

I guess this is an UO here, but I think if the father or the mother wants a junior (make or female) they should have it.

FrecklesInside · October 2014

I find junior names to be SO egotistical. I don't get it at all. I DO like family names in the middle name spot, and that is definitely what I would suggest to your H. I feel like every child deserves their OWN name for their first name.

ngolimento · October 2014

Darbie914 said:

I guess this is an UO here, but I think if the father or the mother wants a junior (make or female) they should have it.
Why?

Good question. Maybe the answer is 'because penis'?

JenLa21 · October 2014

I'm not too into Jr's IIs or IIIs I feel like it's more pressure to do it, then actually wanting the name.

My friends family has a tradition where all the boys have the same initials. Not sure if its all the boys, or just first born sons but either way, I think it's a nice tradition. Less pressure, more options and still honoring the family.

Edit, cuz not all letters make words.

colleen4019 · October 2014

Peledreamsofrain said:

Darbie914 said:

colleen4019 said:
I guess this is an UO here, but I think if the father or the mother wants a junior (make or female) they should have it.
Why?

Good question. Maybe the answer is 'because penis'?
---------///----------
No not because penis! I said mothers too! My grandmother named one of her six daughters after her (first name only diff middle name). I was also named after them (I have their first name as my middle name) and my grandfather, father & bro all have the same names. I see it more as an honor.

dabudans · October 2014

@RQuinlin‌ you might have hit the solution! My boy is due on my husband's birthday. I think we should go w III only if they coincide

antsangel1118 · October 2014

Never. My DH is a II and is constantly dealing with stuff of his dad's. His dad is currently in jail and as a result defaulted on some loans/ credit cards, and some of them wound up on DH's credit. Luckily we were able to get them removed without a problem, but it was still an unnecessary headache. I'm sure the jail thing plays a unique part in it, but my oldest brother is also a Jr., and it is just often an inconvenience having there be more than one of you...

Sugarplum0217 · October 2014

My SO wants a jr, thank goodness we are having a girl and I don't have to deal with this now. I did have a friend in high school who was the third or fourth generation in her family with her first name and she went by her initials and was constantly explaining to people and got pretty annoyed at least while in school.

Thank you for all the responses, I never thought of the financial and credit issues it can cause and I will definitely share those with him. We both have family middle names we will pass on, mine to our daughter and his if we have a boy and I really like that tradition. I also know a lot of families who do the father's name as son's middle name which is cute.

My mom, myself, and now our daughter will all have the same middle name with first names that start with "M" and I think that is plenty the same for us.

AshleyS512 · October 2014

I really had never thought of the credit stuff but that seems like a potential nightmare! My family has the tradition of carrying on John as a first name but changing the middle name each time. My brother is the 9th John but has gone by his middle name his whole life. My dad goes by John (he was the 4th and last son so my grandmother really held out as long as she could, I think) and grandfather went by Jack.

I like the idea of carrying on a name or honoring a great family member through a first or middle name but since DH family doesn't have any name traditions we don't feel pressure to do any of that.

jpavenski · October 2014

I understand the tradition but wouldn't like to feel like I had to give in to this tradition. My brother, dad & hubby all have the same name! My brother is the ll & I know if he has a son he will be the lll. But there was no way we were using the name again. I think my DH knew that when I met him in high school. My first son does have my fil's first name as his middle name & our second son will have my dad's as his middle name.

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