HFA Kiddo Using Reverse Psychology?

typeset · October 2014

Or is it echo or both?

I took away a toy as a punishment. He immediately chimed in, "Great idea. I like it when you take my toys away." He followed up later, too: "I'm glad you took my toy away, Mom. That was a good choice."

Not sure what to make of this one.

typeset · October 2014

He pointed out the one I'd missed under his bed and told me to take that, too, so probably spot on with the face-saving measure. Or it's a rule boy showing disdain for my lack of follow through.

Sigh.

MirandaHobbes · October 2014

Sounds an awful lot like my kid. DS will do this when he gets anxious about rules. Like before we go to the mall he'll say "And the rule is that if I start crying and screaming, there's no dessert for a year, right Mom? Can that be the rule, Mom? That's the rule, right?" If I reply "no, more like no dessert for one night if you cry" then he'll be disappointed, and say "No I think it should be a year." It's like he knows the "rule" is BS, and he's calling me out on it. It's too low of a bar. He has a way of putting my shitty parenting skills on a pedestal and then putting a giant spotlight on them. Like the crying thing. This weekend we were out of town and we were trying to work on him not crying/melting down in restaurants. One day he says to me, "You really hate it when I cry, right?" I absentmindedly said "Yeah, it sucks." He smiled and said "that's why I cry, because I know you'll give me what I want." Sometimes his lack of social thinking works in my favor. So I told him, you know, I changed my mind. I don't mind your crying. Go ahead and cry all you want. It won't get you what you want. He replied: "darn it."

typeset · October 2014

Does he ever lie?

"Did you do that?"
"No, Buzz did."
Lie ... but most likely he was pretending to be Buzz/acting as Buzz, so truth.

There was a notable instance where he offered to hold his father's ice cream with clear intent to steal some. I took that as a positive sign.

This gig is so odd sometimes.

typeset · October 2014

I documented the first time he drew on something he shouldn't have. Come to think of it, that was the only time he ever drew on something he shouldn't have, but it happened, damn it.

We're still waiting for him to jump off the furniture.

typeset · October 2014

New twist. Now he's setting rules. I told him that he couldn't bring a toy in the car because he was a nightmare all morning. "Okay, Mom, no toys in the car on Tuesdays. On Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays I can bring toys in the car, but not on Tuesdays."

He's ruining discipline.

typeset · October 2014

I called this yesterday: "Today it's Wednesday, so I can bring a toy in the car! I can have toys on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Not Tuesdays. That's the rule."

Exhausting child is exhausting. Spouse also pointed out that he's been micromanaging us a lot, telling us how much cereal we can have, when we can start the car, etc. I agree with anxiety, but there's no corresponding adherence to rules at home. Non-compliance and loud vocals when asked to do something are the norm.

This week is wonky due to visitors and travel. He was up twice last night demanding to know the plan and to inform me that rescheduling makeup classes for those he'll miss is unacceptable, that we only do certain activities on certain days.

I hope that he'll rebound once we get back into our routine, but acknowledge 1) this is throwing his universe way more out of whack than it ought which means he needs to be pushed more and 2) we're cruising toward a breakdown at this pace. He had one last spring when the baby arrived and it was hell.

hopanka · October 2014

-auntie- said:

typeset said:

This gig is so odd sometimes.

So true.

I remember DS's first real lie. James Coplan deemed it "a real whopper".

DS came off the bus with huge chunks of his hair missing at the end of first grade. I asked him what happened on the way to the salon to get the buzz cut which is the only remedy for such an event.

Ds told me, convincingly that Jonathan had come over with scissors while DS was working on hhis math worksheet and cut pieces of his hair off. FWIW, it was a great lie in that Jonathan was a known perp- he broke the console "lid" on my old Jeep and opened the door to escape at 55 mph. He was bright and fully capable of completing his work ahead of the rest of the class but known to be impulsive and destructive. He had a sister a year older who had multiple disabilities including significant intellectual challenges- mom kept her kids at 3 different schools and was just exhausted. He clearly didn't get the level of supervision and attention he needed, but I don't know if that would have been humanly possible even if he were an only with full time staff.

Later that evening, DS admitted that he cut his hair. LOL, that wasn't exactly true either. He and a kindie kid did each other's hair on the bus ride home. With his excellent fine motor scissor skills he rendered the other kid bald. After DS was fast asleep, I called my mom and a couple friends to brag. Which is not the usual resonse to being lied to.

Love this story! LOL!!

HFA Kiddo Using Reverse Psychology?

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