Pressure from Employer for Shorter Leave?

rhialto · October 2014

I have not told my employer that I am expecting yet (each employee at my company works remotely, so I do not often see coworkers or my boss), but one of my coworkers had a baby a few months back and I asked her some questions today about how the process of sharing and leave went.

She gave me some good advice, but mentioned that our boss had put pressure on her not to take the full 12 week leave. She ended up coming back after 6 weeks and said it was miserable. Is this unethical? I am glad to have the heads up, but I want to know how to prepare should I receive the same kind of pressure.

bsdub · October 2014

U only get 12 weeks??
We get 12 months in Canada. I wouldn't even cut my 12 months short I eff that cutting your 12 week leave early.

rhialto · October 2014

Woah! Go Canada! Yes, as far as I understand the American federal gov't allows for 12 weeks. It does not have to be paid (as far as I know), but most employers will pay part of it. Sometimes it depends how long you have been with your company. 12 months would be nice!

SuperFudge00 · October 2014

Technically, at least the way I read California's explanation, the time taken for disability is defined based on need and type of delivery. Then you have additional baby bonding time. All cannot exceed 12 weeks and still have job protection. However, what leave is required should be between you and your doctor, not your employer. It sounds like your coworker caved into your boss' requests. I think he/she can "suggest" a shorter leave but it would be illegal for that shorter leave to be required or job insecurity implied.

Stick to your guns and consult your provider and state guidelines.

I plan to take ten weeks post delivery and then save two weeks for the holidays, assuming everything goes well.

kier23 · October 2014

6 weeks is actually normal..at least where I live...ghe only time you get 12 is if you have a c-section....also it's not a requirement I don't believe that you have to take the full time?....so she could have just came back to stop hearing him complain.. so I don't see an issue really...unless he told her she had to or she would lose her job then illegal and unethical would come into play..

rhialto · October 2014

@SuperFudge00Yes, she did cave to his requests. I naively did not realize that an employer would even go as far as to suggest a shorter leave than the mother wanted, unless the mother wanted more than 12wks of course. You learn something new every day! I fully plan on taking 12 weeks and will stick to it as firmly as I can.

MagalinaH · October 2014

Legally, they cannot make you come back earlier than 12 weeks if that's what you want. You'll need to file your leave through the FMLA. Also, to qualify, you need to have been employed for at least 12 months, worked 1,250 hours in a 12 month period, and the company needs to have over 50 employees. While they do not have to pay you for any portion of those 12 weeks, they must hold your job for you and maintain benefits.

bsdub · October 2014

Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now

rhialto · October 2014

@bsdub I am lucky in that my mother-in-law owns a daycare, so I will have care available at any point I need/decide to go back. I believe for folks who need to seek out a daycare, there are options for them around 6-12 weeks.

SuperFudge00 · October 2014

bsdub said:
Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now

Please don't start the Canadian gloat, it's been done before. FWIW, I will gladly take my situation and stay in my country than to make the concessions required for a slightly more attractive benefit.

bsdub · October 2014

Lol! Calm your tits - I was just amazed at the difference, clearly I have never heard of it before now.

Cali2090 · October 2014

SuperFudge00 said:

bsdub said:
Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now
Please don't start the Canadian gloat, it's been done before. FWIW, I will gladly take my situation and stay in my country than to make the concessions required for a slightly more attractive benefit.

Ironically that sounds like a gloat on your country and an insult to Canada! @bsdub‌ Nothing wrong with being happy about 12 months of Mat leave!! I would be too

SuperFudge00 · October 2014

Cali2090 said:

SuperFudge00 said:

bsdub said:
Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now
Please don't start the Canadian gloat, it's been done before. FWIW, I will gladly take my situation and stay in my country than to make the concessions required for a slightly more attractive benefit.
Ironically that sounds like a gloat on your country and an insult to Canada! @bsdub‌ Nothing wrong with being happy about 12 months of Mat leave!! I would be too

I'm super gloating!!

MagalinaH · October 2014

bsdub said:

what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

You send them to daycare (or hire a nanny). Many moms actually have to go back to work after 6 weeks because they can't afford to take unpaid leave, and send their child to daycare then.

Babykells3 · October 2014

bsdub said:
Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now

This is actually not true at all!! There are a TON of 'ifs, ands or buts', just ask anyone who is classified as self-employed such as chiropractors, a lot of doctors, anyone who owns their own companies, etc. Not every new mother in Canada is lucky enough to be approved or can even afford to be on mat leave. Some good friends of mine who make 150K+ a year can not live on making $2000 a month so only got to be off for 3 months, personally I am self-employed and only got approved for EI with DS1. I would love to be able to be off for a year but I'd be making shit money compared to if I was working even part-time. It's not ideal or even an option for everyone!!

mrsmopar67 · October 2014

Babykells3 said:

bsdub said:
Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now
This is actually not true at all!! There are a TON of 'ifs, ands or buts', just ask anyone who is classified as self-employed such as chiropractors, a lot of doctors, anyone who owns their own companies, etc. Not every new mother in Canada is lucky enough to be approved or can even afford to be on mat leave. Some good friends of mine who make 150K+ a year can not live on making $2000 a month so only got to be off for 3 months, personally I am self-employed and only got approved for EI with DS1. I would love to be able to be off for a year but I'd be making shit money compared to if I was working even part-time. It's not ideal or even an option for everyone!!

I find it's generally 17-24 year olds who looooooove Canadian "benefits" since they a.) generally don't make that much to start with and b.) haven't felt the pinch from the tax burden because they didn't make that much to start with. So in their minds it's this "FREE" bonus of being a Canadian but what they fail to realize is that they are allowing that burden of paying them to fall of their fellow citizens. "The government" is not mom and dad with a job that makes money. It's paid for by all the citizens who pay taxes.

Kulagirl11 · October 2014

I'm in the States and work in healthcare as an RN but our company has less than 50 employes so we are not protected by FMLA. I get 2 weeks off and can request for 2 additional weeks under our policy Manuel. I'm in a panic. I am the Program Director so I know they'll want me back but I'm scared to death to even let them know I'm pregnant, let alone think about what's really going to happen to my job. It pays well but no guarantee of being able to keep my job after if I need more time.

SMFB · October 2014

mrsmopar67 said:

Babykells3 said:

bsdub said:
Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now
This is actually not true at all!! There are a TON of 'ifs, ands or buts', just ask anyone who is classified as self-employed such as chiropractors, a lot of doctors, anyone who owns their own companies, etc. Not every new mother in Canada is lucky enough to be approved or can even afford to be on mat leave. Some good friends of mine who make 150K+ a year can not live on making $2000 a month so only got to be off for 3 months, personally I am self-employed and only got approved for EI with DS1. I would love to be able to be off for a year but I'd be making shit money compared to if I was working even part-time. It's not ideal or even an option for everyone!!
I find it's generally 17-24 year olds who looooooove Canadian "benefits" since they a.) generally don't make that much to start with and b.) haven't felt the pinch from the tax burden because they didn't make that much to start with. So in their minds it's this "FREE" bonus of being a Canadian but what they fail to realize is that they are allowing that burden of paying them to fall of their fellow citizens. "The government" is not mom and dad with a job that makes money. It's paid for by all the citizens who pay taxes.

Let me just say how fucking bad I feel for your friends that make over 150k a year and can't "survive" off one making $2000 a month. We should all be thankful that we even get this. Also no one thinks it's free time off as we've all paid into it and will continue to do so so we can all have this benefit.

Dani428 · October 2014

I'm moving to canada.

AMShark · October 2014

SMFB said:

mrsmopar67 said:

Babykells3 said:

bsdub said:
Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now
This is actually not true at all!! There are a TON of 'ifs, ands or buts', just ask anyone who is classified as self-employed such as chiropractors, a lot of doctors, anyone who owns their own companies, etc. Not every new mother in Canada is lucky enough to be approved or can even afford to be on mat leave. Some good friends of mine who make 150K+ a year can not live on making $2000 a month so only got to be off for 3 months, personally I am self-employed and only got approved for EI with DS1. I would love to be able to be off for a year but I'd be making shit money compared to if I was working even part-time. It's not ideal or even an option for everyone!!
I find it's generally 17-24 year olds who looooooove Canadian "benefits" since they a.) generally don't make that much to start with and b.) haven't felt the pinch from the tax burden because they didn't make that much to start with. So in their minds it's this "FREE" bonus of being a Canadian but what they fail to realize is that they are allowing that burden of paying them to fall of their fellow citizens. "The government" is not mom and dad with a job that makes money. It's paid for by all the citizens who pay taxes.
Let me just say how fucking bad I feel for your friends that make over 150k a year and can't "survive" off one making $2000 a month. We should all be thankful that we even get this. Also no one thinks it's free time off as we've all paid into it and will continue to do so so we can all have this benefit.

I think you are failing to take into account the higher expenses that people often incur when they have higher salaries. I don't make over 150k, but my combined income with DH is higher than average, and we chose to buy a larger house on a bigger piece of land, in a neighborhood with good schools (translation - our property taxes are pretty nuts). Sure, this is a choice we made willingly, but it does mean that we'd need to plan and budget carefully if one if us had to take a large salary cut.
Not that I'm Canadian - I'm in Jersey. My company allows for leave, and allows you to use saved up sick and vacation time, so (if you've been there long enough, like I have) you can essentially take a paid leave for 12 weeks. It's not a bad deal, overall, and we'll figure out how to make it work.

AMShark · October 2014

My response was way off topic - sorry OP!
Do you work for a small company? If not, is there an employee handbook you can consult? An HR rep that you can contact? I agree with ppl who say research your state's laws - you should be able to find some info online with your old friend Google. When you talk to your boss, you want to be armed with information so you can politely, but firmly stick to your guns.

bowman958 · October 2014

bsdub said:
Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now

This couldn't possibly be more annoying. A 13 week old baby would arguably do better adjusting to daycare than a one year old.

OP, if you receive pressure from your boss, document it. Perhaps you could cut a deal where if you return early on a limited part time basis, he will track your hours and extend your leave. I worked remotely and I did this, we worked something out under the table.

SMFB · October 2014

AMShark said:

SMFB said:

mrsmopar67 said:

Babykells3 said:

bsdub said:
Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary.

I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care???

I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now
This is actually not true at all!! There are a TON of 'ifs, ands or buts', just ask anyone who is classified as self-employed such as chiropractors, a lot of doctors, anyone who owns their own companies, etc. Not every new mother in Canada is lucky enough to be approved or can even afford to be on mat leave. Some good friends of mine who make 150K+ a year can not live on making $2000 a month so only got to be off for 3 months, personally I am self-employed and only got approved for EI with DS1. I would love to be able to be off for a year but I'd be making shit money compared to if I was working even part-time. It's not ideal or even an option for everyone!!
I find it's generally 17-24 year olds who looooooove Canadian "benefits" since they a.) generally don't make that much to start with and b.) haven't felt the pinch from the tax burden because they didn't make that much to start with. So in their minds it's this "FREE" bonus of being a Canadian but what they fail to realize is that they are allowing that burden of paying them to fall of their fellow citizens. "The government" is not mom and dad with a job that makes money. It's paid for by all the citizens who pay taxes.
Let me just say how fucking bad I feel for your friends that make over 150k a year and can't "survive" off one making $2000 a month. We should all be thankful that we even get this. Also no one thinks it's free time off as we've all paid into it and will continue to do so so we can all have this benefit.
I think you are failing to take into account the higher expenses that people often incur when they have higher salaries. I don't make over 150k, but my combined income with DH is higher than average, and we chose to buy a larger house on a bigger piece of land, in a neighborhood with good schools (translation - our property taxes are pretty nuts). Sure, this is a choice we made willingly, but it does mean that we'd need to plan and budget carefully if one if us had to take a large salary cut.
Not that I'm Canadian - I'm in Jersey. My company allows for leave, and allows you to use saved up sick and vacation time, so (if you've been there long enough, like I have) you can essentially take a paid leave for 12 weeks. It's not a bad deal, overall, and we'll figure out how to make it work.

I don't want to start an argument but seriously? I think you are failing to take into account that most people scrape by. Most people can't choose to live in a bigger house/ better neighborhood. That is who this money is supposed to help. Comfortable/rich people can make choices to save money in case they will be off on maternity leave etc. poor/middle class don't always have that choice.

nomesy · October 2014

I have the option of up to 12 months maternity leave, I can get paid leave for 18 weeks of this , or I can take half pay and get paid for 36 weeks, and if I wish to extend maternity leave for another year I can but I just won't get paid , so welfare would be on the cards , not sure what I want to do yet , it's hard.

juliaandpatrick · October 2014

Kulagirl11 said:
I'm in the States and work in healthcare as an RN but our company has less than 50 employes so we are not protected by FMLA. I get 2 weeks off and can request for 2 additional weeks under our policy Manuel. I'm in a panic. I am the Program Director so I know they'll want me back but I'm scared to death to even let them know I'm pregnant, let alone think about what's really going to happen to my job. It pays well but no guarantee of being able to keep my job after if I need more time.

I'm in the same boat where I'm not protected by FMLA. However, as far as my understanding goes, your employer has to hold your position and benefits for 6 weeks with a vaginal delivery or 8 weeks with a c-section and you can be paid partial salary under disability. I'm not sure if this is federal or state law, but definitely check it out. I know in NY that's how it goes.

bsdub · October 2014

Wow some people need to chill. I'm taking a year off and I'm going to use the tax care system that I paid into - it's not mom and dad, it's a benefit of living in Canada and everyone knows it when they pay taxes - just like free healthcare, or people on welfare, or old peoples persons. I personally make a significant income and the 30-40k for the year I'm on mat leave is not going to come even close to that, but that's why I planned my pregnancy and saved properly.

Listen I wasn't trying to get anyone's back up - it's not a Canada vs America battle - obviously everyone likes the country they live in better - or they would have moved. I was unaware of the difference so I was a little shocked.

And for the chick that was offended that I didn't know what to do with a 13 week old baby --- they won't take them in any daycares in Canada - so again chill.

bowman958 · October 2014

bsdub said:
Wow some people need to chill. I'm taking a year off and I'm going to use the tax care system that I paid into - it's not mom and dad, it's a benefit of living in Canada and everyone knows it when they pay taxes - just like free healthcare, or people on welfare, or old peoples persons. I personally make a significant income and the 30-40k for the year I'm on mat leave is not going to come even close to that, but that's why I planned my pregnancy and saved properly.

Listen I wasn't trying to get anyone's back up - it's not a Canada vs America battle - obviously everyone likes the country they live in better - or they would have moved. I was unaware of the difference so I was a little shocked.

And for the chick that was offended that I didn't know what to do with a 13 week old baby --- they won't take them in any daycares in Canada - so again chill.

Use your brain FFS. If in the US people don't get a year off - horrible and barbaric I know - then don't you think service providers would accept young babies? Or do you think we just leave them home alone while we go back to our jobs? And I'm not Canadian but I'm about 100% sure you could find a nanny or in-home daycare there to keep your child if they are less than a year old.

SMFB · October 2014

bowman958 said:

bsdub said:
Wow some people need to chill. I'm taking a year off and I'm going to use the tax care system that I paid into - it's not mom and dad, it's a benefit of living in Canada and everyone knows it when they pay taxes - just like free healthcare, or people on welfare, or old peoples persons. I personally make a significant income and the 30-40k for the year I'm on mat leave is not going to come even close to that, but that's why I planned my pregnancy and saved properly.

Listen I wasn't trying to get anyone's back up - it's not a Canada vs America battle - obviously everyone likes the country they live in better - or they would have moved. I was unaware of the difference so I was a little shocked.

And for the chick that was offended that I didn't know what to do with a 13 week old baby --- they won't take them in any daycares in Canada - so again chill.

Use your brain FFS. If in the US people don't get a year off - horrible and barbaric I know - then don't you think service providers would accept young babies? Or do you think we just leave them home alone while we go back to our jobs? And I'm not Canadian but I'm about 100% sure you could find a nanny or in-home daycare there to keep your child if they are less than a year old.t

Just to weight in on the child care in Canada, yes you can find some places that will take an infant however it is very difficult. Also a lot of program daycare centers only take 18mths and up and you have to be on a waiting list that can be a year long so book now sort of thing. Obviously this is more so in the major cities.

CivilMommy · October 2014

Paid leave and job-protected leave are 2 separate things.

IF you qualify for FMLA or your state's rules for job protection - you CAN take 12 weeks (not paid unless that is a specific benefit of your employer or STD plan) and not lose your job.

6 weeks for a vaginal delivery is usually what a STD plan would pay for.

8 weeks for c/s is usual for STD payout as well.

certain situations may warrant your doc writing you a letter requesting more time.

Your employer can NOT fire you for a leave of 12 weeks IF you are covered by the FMLA or state laws.

The 12 week leave could be all or partially UNPAID though.

There are also employer based rules on having to use vacation time before or with your FMLA time...check with your employer on that.

Cali2090 · October 2014

If you qualify for 12 week leave, I would absolutely take it and wouldn't be pressured into taking any less!! It's your child and you need to do what makes you feel comfortable NOT what someone else wants you to do!! Good luck!!

MagalinaH · October 2014

bowman958 said:

Wow some people need to chill. I'm taking a year off and I'm going to use the tax care system that I paid into - it's not mom and dad, it's a benefit of living in Canada and everyone knows it when they pay taxes - just like free healthcare, or people on welfare, or old peoples persons. I personally make a significant income and the 30-40k for the year I'm on mat leave is not going to come even close to that, but that's why I planned my pregnancy and saved properly. Listen I wasn't trying to get anyone's back up - it's not a Canada vs America battle - obviously everyone likes the country they live in better - or they would have moved. I was unaware of the difference so I was a little shocked. And for the chick that was offended that I didn't know what to do with a 13 week old baby --- they won't take them in any daycares in Canada - so again chill.
Use your brain FFS. If in the US people don't get a year off - horrible and barbaric I know - then don't you think service providers would accept young babies? Or do you think we just leave them home alone while we go back to our jobs? And I'm not Canadian but I'm about 100% sure you could find a nanny or in-home daycare there to keep your child if they are less than a year old.

This. And I didn't sense anyone being offended but more of a, "DUH. What the hell do you think we do?" response.

kitc101 · October 2014

bowman958 said:

Wow some people need to chill. I'm taking a year off and I'm going to use the tax care system that I paid into - it's not mom and dad, it's a benefit of living in Canada and everyone knows it when they pay taxes - just like free healthcare, or people on welfare, or old peoples persons. I personally make a significant income and the 30-40k for the year I'm on mat leave is not going to come even close to that, but that's why I planned my pregnancy and saved properly. Listen I wasn't trying to get anyone's back up - it's not a Canada vs America battle - obviously everyone likes the country they live in better - or they would have moved. I was unaware of the difference so I was a little shocked. And for the chick that was offended that I didn't know what to do with a 13 week old baby --- they won't take them in any daycares in Canada - so again chill.
Use your brain FFS. If in the US people don't get a year off - horrible and barbaric I know - then don't you think service providers would accept young babies? Or do you think we just leave them home alone while we go back to our jobs? And I'm not Canadian but I'm about 100% sure you could find a nanny or in-home daycare there to keep your child if they are less than a year old.

In my area, most employers allow for 6 weeks off if vaginal deliver, 8 weeks if cesarean. The problem? Daycares do not take infants under 12 weeks of age. Of course the larger companies fall under FMLA, which is great. However, it is hard to find companies who offer PAID maternity leave. I don't live in a small area, either. It's very frustrating and a majority of couples I know end up as a 1 income family (daycare isn't cheap, either...), or working separate shifts to relieve some of the cost of daycare.

springlove59 · October 2014

US maternity leave varies greatly per state and company as pp's have said. My company has under 50 employees but I still want to take 12 weeks. I have talked about it with my bosses, STD was just offered to the employees this week, so my maternity leave won't be covered. I will be using the 3 weeks paid vacation time I have for this year and using the 3 sick days I get per year. Also our checks are held back by a week when you start, so I will get that full paycheck also. Dh and I are just saving as much as possible too. I don't think its an ideal situation...would I love for my taxes to go towards maternity leave or for the US gov to mandate some kind of employer paid leave policy? Of course. Will I make it work because I have to/want to? Yup. Side note-my coworker is due in Dec and my boss has been pressuring her to stay out no longer than 8 weeks...but so far I haven't been told I would have any job insecurity with 12.

alisajs · October 2014

I work remotely from home as well, and for a very small company, so FMLA rules don't apply. For my first, my boss agreed to pay me for a 4 week leave, and strongly discouraged me from taking any more time than that, even unpaid. As it turns out, I went out on leave almost a week before I delivered (I was getting almost daily monitoring at that point and was having trouble making my hours) and then ended up having a c-section. At the end of my 3rd week of leave, my boss told me things were super busy at the office and he needed me to come back to work. So I was 'forced' back to work 2 weeks after a c-section. Even though I work from home, it was brutal. I had barely figured out a routine and all of a sudden had to learn how to work while taking care of a baby (My husband only worked part-time, so he was sometimes around to help - but I didn't have childcare until she was older). This time, I work for the same company/boss. He knows I'm expecting, but we haven't talked about my leave yet. I'm hoping he'll have a heart and give me more time this go around, even if some of it is unpaid.

EmmaSF · October 2014

Yes we get 12 months leave in Canada and yes we pay taxes to get this. We also have universal health care. I personally love both of these and am happy to pay for it but it isn't a fail safe system. As always there are two sides to anything. I am certainly not gloating because this isn't "free". My issue with 12 weeks maternity leave is that I don't think that the mother is physically or emotionally ready to go back to work at that point.

catlover790 · October 2014

SMFB said:

Wow! I super love Canada even more now. We get 12 months of government paid time off - no if ands or buts. It's only a max of $500/week so u def have to budget if u have a higher salary. I can't believe u get 12 weeks - what do u do with a 13 week old baby for child care??? I'm so happy I pay taxes outta my ass right now
This is actually not true at all!! There are a TON of 'ifs, ands or buts', just ask anyone who is classified as self-employed such as chiropractors, a lot of doctors, anyone who owns their own companies, etc. Not every new mother in Canada is lucky enough to be approved or can even afford to be on mat leave. Some good friends of mine who make 150K+ a year can not live on making $2000 a month so only got to be off for 3 months, personally I am self-employed and only got approved for EI with DS1. I would love to be able to be off for a year but I'd be making shit money compared to if I was working even part-time. It's not ideal or even an option for everyone!!
I find it's generally 17-24 year olds who looooooove Canadian "benefits" since they a.) generally don't make that much to start with and b.) haven't felt the pinch from the tax burden because they didn't make that much to start with. So in their minds it's this "FREE" bonus of being a Canadian but what they fail to realize is that they are allowing that burden of paying them to fall of their fellow citizens. "The government" is not mom and dad with a job that makes money. It's paid for by all the citizens who pay taxes.
Let me just say how fucking bad I feel for your friends that make over 150k a year and can't "survive" off one making $2000 a month. We should all be thankful that we even get this. Also no one thinks it's free time off as we've all paid into it and will continue to do so so we can all have this benefit.

I really don't want to start an argument, and I'm sorry that this is not what this post is about, but this comment by SMFB bothers me. My H and I don't make 150k+ but we do make more than others our age in our group of friends.

We own a home, pay taxes for home, school, state etc. We still have student loans and regular bills. I lost my job and am currently part of the underemployed yet I get no additional aid because of this.

I will get 6 weeks off using my own sick time I have saved. It's very frustrating to have the middle-class people have to budget and save, pay our bills, sacrifice the time I want to stay home so that we can afford everything. With your argument, you need those higher wage earners to pay the taxes that provide for the people who make less, and they don't always get to use the benefit. Also, just because people make more, and what would be considered "comfortable" to you, doesn't mean that they don't have medical bills, student loans, etc to pay as well. Without the higher wage earners paying their taxes, then no one would get the benefit.

Puppies+Rainbows+Unicorns · October 2014

My recommendation is to talk with HR about the leave policy before you talk with your manager. Then when you talk to your manager say you have spoken with HR and will be taking x weeks. Make it factual and not a request. Your manager will probably not be happy (there is no way to magically transform 6 weeks into 12), but most do not want tangle with HR.

MrsCastro71611 · October 2014

I told my employer I was pregnant and got demoted! I also was "suggested" not to take the entire 12 weeks by my employer because it will be hard on the company. I have to show them proof of every dr. Apt. Also. I thought it was just my employer who was being a heartless jerk... Sorry your dealing with this too!

JaneShops · October 2014

K, let me tippy toe around the heated discussion above & attempt to answer the OP

Take all the time you need, as Long as it is protected by law. I recommend starting by reaching out to your HR department, they may have a FMLA coordinator. Every job is different on how the info gets dispersed. Also, it is illegal for your boss to deny you that time off. However, it is your choice to come back early. If anything, try to keep these conversations in writing, ie. Email.

I have many coworkes with similar situations, coming back after 6 weeks (natural deliver) or 8 weeks (c/s), since technically that's what the leave says. Also, they did not do their research beforehand.

So what am I doing? I do not have all the information, but started convo w my FMLA coordinator. I'm Planning to be completely prepared, even have all the forms on me at delivery to be signed off. I will be maxing my leave, using what's available to me PLuS schedule my annual 2015 vacation to lengthen the maternity leave. Hoping to get 3.5-4 months off. Unfortunately my job doesn't pay for maternity leave, so for my income I've accumulated enough hours. People might say I'm lucky, but I've been very frugal using my vacation hours on vacation. I've never used/ cashed out my sick hours. Also, whenever I worked overtime i "banked" the hours instead of cashing it out

Good luck

proudmummy15 · October 2014

In the uk we get 9 months off on full pay then we can extent our leave to a year with the last 3 months on half pay

i would g be going back to work quicker than I have too!! Babies are not babies for long, you can always get another job

you can't easily just get another baby

they take time!!

AMShark · October 2014

rhialto said:

I have not told my employer that I am expecting yet (each employee at my company works remotely, so I do not often see coworkers or my boss), but one of my coworkers had a baby in July and I asked her some questions today about how the process of sharing and leave went.

She gave me some good advice, but mentioned that our boss had put pressure on her not to take the full 12 week leave. She ended up coming back after 6 weeks and said it was miserable. Wasn't his behavior illegal or at least unethical? I am glad to have the heads up, but I want to know how to prepare should I receive the same kind of pressure.

Our job has a busy season and a slower season, and my timing will be better than hers was by a bit, but I am still anticipating getting some flack for wanting a full 12 week-long leave. Anyone else facing this? What are your plans?

I have a follow up! I was talking to a co-worker about this subject yesterday. When she gave birth, our department was short staffed, and even though she'd had her twins via c-section, she felt pressured to come back after 6 weeks.

Her kids are entering high school next year, and to this day, cutting her maternity leave to 6 weeks remains one of her biggest regrets. She got no praise or extra recognition for coming back early, and she felt that 6 weeks was just too soon to leave her babies all day

I plan to be firm with a 12 week maternity leave, and I believe that you should be too.

Good luck - I hope the discussion is as smooth and easy as possible.

Want a personalized experience?

Pressure from Employer for Shorter Leave?

Re: Pressure from Employer for Shorter Leave?

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DD 7/2010, DS 3/2012, #3 due 4/24/2015

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