Unwanted bump comments (huffington post article)

AshleySparkle720 · October 2014

I figured for all of the women who are hearing negative things on their bumps this is a good article to have at their disposal

Maybe you could find a way to nonchalantly slide this onto your snobby co-workers desk.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jessica-n-turner/pregnancy-is-not-an-invitation-to-comment-on-my-body_b_5967360.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

crystalw88 · October 2014

This is amazing! From now on when I'm asked if I'm having twins (which I'm not) I'm going to fold this article into a paper airplane and launch it at their face ;;)

toadandbug12 · October 2014

Thank you for sharing this. I love the ending statement - "Some might argue that asking about due dates or commenting on a woman's belly are not intentionally hurtful actions, but that isn't the point. What matters is how those comments make pregnant women feel." I know people don't do these things maliciously, but they should consider how it would make THEM feel to be told they are huge or get their "huge" belly rubbed by a complete stranger.

It seems as though social politeness doesn't apply to you when you are pregnant and people can evaluate and comment on your body as if what they say can't hurt.

tee18 · October 2014

I had the your belly is so small comment all the time since I didn't really show until 25 weeks+ the first time around. (Not this time though - ha). Even though I knew everything was fine, it placed some paranoia in the back of my head!

I guess I don't understand why it says to not ask the due date?? I do and don't mind at all when others ask that. As long as it's not followed by some comment about size.

toadandbug12 · October 2014

tee18 said:

I had the your belly is so small comment all the time since I didn't really show until 25 weeks+ the first time around. (Not this time though - ha). Even though I knew everything was fine, it placed some paranoia in the back of my head! I guess I don't understand why it says to not ask the due date?? I do and don't mind at all when others ask that. As long as it's not followed by some comment about size.

I don't mind about the due date either, but after hearing the due date strangers definitely evaluate you more and decide whether or not you look as "big" as they think you should. Just my experience.

Izzy0927 · October 2014

The only thing I've ever said to someone/ever want to hear is "you look wonderful!" Nothing else is acceptable.

psychobutthead · October 2014

I got the "you're too small" when i was pregnant with DD alot. I ended up huge at the end and it switched to "are you having twins".
so far ive only gotten nice comments. like im a beautiful prego and im glowing. also was told by fil that i had popped and it looked good on me.

ill deal with random nice comments. ive been lucky so far.

lotsofdotts · October 2014

I have had two women at my school who repeatedly tell me that I don't look any different than last year. I'm like WTF? I spend the rest of the day upset because I keep thinking that I obviously didn't suck in my gut (I'm not too big around 14 pre-pregnancy).

On top of everything, one of these women rubbed my belly even though she said I don't look pregnant, so I said "thanks for rubbing my fat."

She hasn't said anything else to me since. Hopefully she got the point.

mands1125 · October 2014

Love this. I posted it on FB and wanted to tag MIL in it but knew that would cause drama. Hopefully she will see it and get the hint!!

Smyers2girls · October 2014

I totally relate to this article. I know I've said it before but I am sooo tired if customers at work constantly asking "when are you due?" I know that they are people that don't know me and I guess that's just the first thing people say to start small talk with a stranger. But then I tell them feb. 4th. And I get the "wow!" comments. Yes this is my 3rd baby but I've always been all belly when I'm pregnant. 5' 2" and 105 before getting pregnant, I have a small frame, guess that makes my belly look huge. I get "I figured you were due any day! You've got a long way to go still! Are you sure it's not twins?" Super annoying!!! I know they mean well but I'm so frustrated with it!

PikoPiko · October 2014

My Aunt came over for dinner last week and made the worst comment I've heard so far: Last time I saw you, you were already pregnant right? I was wondering that cos you looked like you put on weight!

The truth? I was at most 2 weeks pregnant then and was definitely not showing anywhere. I didn't even have a pee stick then or suspect I was pregnant at all. My weight stayed constant in the past 5 years before July.

reneamac313 · October 2014

I read this and luckily I have not received any comments along the lines of these. I definitely will be speaking my mind though.

HayleyBug55 · October 2014

I am 18 and was chubby before I got pregnant (size 13) and around 12-13 weeks I started rounding out but it was still fat

) I HATED when family/friends would want me to turn sideways or touch my belly. I always wanted to say "thanks for rubbing my fat". I'm now 22 weeks and you can tell there's a baby in there

(some strangers can't) but I still get mad when someone (besides my SO) rubs or pokes my belly!

CogDis · October 2014

I love that critique! Thanks for posting it. I'm having a hard week and that the in-laws are on route to visit doesn't make it easier. I'm envisioning comparisons between my size and their pregnant with twins daughters' size - she has a long torso with short legs and I have massively long legs and an incredibly short torso. I've already been asked by a stranger if I was having twins (I'm not) and I think I'll lose it if they make that comparison!

Thanks for sharing!

acpruchnik · October 2014

LOVE!

acpruchnik · October 2014

mands1125 said:

Love this. I posted it on FB and wanted to tag MIL in it but knew that would cause drama. Hopefully she will see it and get the hint!!

I did the same thing in hopes my Grandma will see it. I just fought with her AGAIN yesterday about making fat comments to me. It was definitely hard not to tag her in it!

SquirrelsRWatching · October 2014

I had my belly touched by a coworker. My arms were crossed, and I was turning away from her saying, "no, my belly isn't firm yet." She said, "oh, that doesn't matter" and proceeded to touch my stomach between my folded arms.

Another thing that bothers me is the rhetorical question "Are you excited?". I know the person is just trying to share in the excitement, but if someone is in a position where they aren't excited about being pregnant, it would be very awkward for her. No one is going to say, "No, I'm not excited because..." It would be a very personal thing.

ETA. Grammar

MrsTucker2011 · October 2014

Love this! Everyone should read this. People can be so rude.

StephanieLBerg · October 2014

So I posted this story to my facebook feed today. Everyone seemed to understand how I felt about their comments and questions after reading it. We go out to dinner with my parents this evening and our waitress, who's a family friend, immediately runs up to me and starts rubbing my stomach! When does it end? The entire time we are out to eat I didn't get to enjoy my meal or spend timw with my parents, who are leaving for Florida for two weeks on Thursday, because our waitress kept coming over and gushing about my stomach and my pregnancy and how she is living vicariously through me and her coworker who is also pregnant. All she wanted to talk about the baby, how I was feeling, what we're going to name her, what other questions I have been asked. And each time she came over she had to rub my stomach some more. Normally, if she was just an acquaintance or a total stranger, I would have handed her back her head. However, because she was a friend of the family I didn't want to hurt her feelings or cause ill rift between her and my parents and grandparents. I know a lot of people don't understand the concept of personal space, nor do they realize that what they are doing is inappropriate, but FFS you'd think my sudden sour change in mood would have been an immediate red flag to her!

mariloofah · October 2014

Ugh... If we just embraced out process and our bodies - and our god given purpose being lived out by creating a new life then NO COMMENT, NO LOOK, NO TOUCH would be perceived as a slight. When I think someone is "intentionally" being hurtful by asking my "due date" I can tell you that means my personal insecurity is rearing it's ugly head... And we all have to be braver than that. We are in bloom... And we are all different flowers. But those flowers have to have thicker petals - to begin reading into comments and looks is removing myself from feeling centered around my beautiful alone time with the life I am creating. Please, remind yourselves to not be broken by words... Someone is just trying to be involved with you - and we all don't always get those words right at the right moment. So, forgiveness immediately - and pride for your accomplishment is the only way I see freeing yourself from this self subscribed hurt.

Ps. I am 24 weeks and poppin' like a MF!!!! Not to mention the freakin fibroids that make it look like I am having twins!!! I am unapologetic and don't get my validation from any one other than myself... My husband is brilliant... But I don't depend on him to keep me centered in this respect... He has wonderful words for me.... But there may come a day when he is preoccupied and worried about something else and doesn't have time to think through what encouragement he offers.... What am I suppose to do? Get mad? Lecture him? Put him into the "your just like ALL OF THEM" category? No. It's up to me to center myself around what I know.... And NOT PERCEIVE NEGATIVITY OUT OF MY Insecurity. That pretty much would only be my ego getting upset... Cause I am not as small as I once was... And it's all changing so quickly. But I am for the better... I am above those perceived slights... And so is every fantastic woman on here who has the wondrous ability to produce a child... I am nothing short if grateful... And that supersedes - WORDS. So.. here is my blanket response... To all the perceived button pushers. " I am in full bloom... And I am equipped for the task!"

nbad311 · October 2014

I don't have a great body image even when I'm not pregnant, tan and fitting into my skinniest jeans, but the comments/belly rubs I've received in the past 4-6 weeks haven't really bothered me. Earlier on when there was no distinguishable bump, I just felt like I was getting chubby and did not like it, and am always my own worst critic. But now there is an apparent reason for my body's growth and maybe I just give everyone the benefit of the doubt of being truly excited for me when we interact. I don't feel anyone has ever said anything "negative" about my bump or pregnant physique and I think I'd be unfair if I classified anyone's comments as bad (unless they said something along the lines of "holy shit you are huge")

I find it more strange (inappropriate?) when strangers look at me, my belly, and straight up ask "So what are you having?" (boy or girl) Um... a human? Pizza for dinner? A hard time trying to pick nursery colors?

mels823 · October 2014

SO glad you posted this. I saw the post last night and meant to respond then. I had a particularly terrible day with comments yesterday. 4 from strangers (the last one made me cry at work) and two from co-workers (who have had their own children in the past). Someone honest to god said my belly "scared" them because it was so big for 24 weeks. This is a woman I work with. A complete stranger told me if I don't have at least two in there I am way too pudgy. And another woman told me "only 24 weeks? you are the size of a house!". I felt so disgusting and defeated yesterday.

My friends always tell me "give it right back" but I work in customer service and I really cannot be rude to customers! I'm honestly not the type who would ever say anything rude to anyone anyway. It just really blew my mind and made me so depressed, so thank you for posting this! I loved it!!

mommaa1615 · October 2014

Love this!!! Its sad bc it seems most of us gets comments from family. I haven't had too many comments but watch out if they start coming! Pregnancy = no filter

Cookie0875 · October 2014

I don't mind my family touching my belly or people asking me when I'm due. But I've gotten the comments about my belly being too small too. Two people told me yesterday I didn't look 6 months pregnant, and I LOVED that. But others have said I must not be gaining enough and I need to make sure I eat plenty. First, I wasn't small to start with, so I think my changes are somewhat less noticeable. Second, I just got told by my OB to watch out and eat healthy, so I'm pretty sure he was implying I've gained a bit fast here the last few months. Whether you're being told you're huge or you're too small, it's hurtful. Makes you feel like you're doing something wrong. But, my LO keeps on kicking and moving, so I must be doing something right! Thanks for posting this article, it is fantastic!

tee18 · October 2014

This is only somewhat related (not about body, but pregnancy comments). The strangest question we got ALL the time before we knew the sex was "what are you hoping for??" How am I supposed to answer that?! It always threw me off and it was amazing how many people would ask that.

reneamac313 · October 2014

@mariloofah‌ I also don't feel that it is about insecurity with many woman...it's about personal space. There is a HUGE difference between the two. You can be an extremely confident woman and still have an issue with people you don't know, or don't know that well, coming up to you and invading your personal space.

mariloofah · October 2014

Only if you allow them to infiltrate your peace of mind and personal space... I think complaining is for the weak... And a waste of energy when one is creating life... So what what other people say. I can name several woman in my immediate circle who would give their eye teeth to have the opportunity we have in creating another human being... They will never get the chance. I'm 40 and the reality of that supercedes EVERYTHING and EVERYONE... Nor do I have time to sit around thinking about what someone could be "implying" with their question. All I can say is dismiss it and move on... And if you can't the problem doesn't lie with the world outside of you - it lies with the world inside of you.

mels823 · October 2014

mariloofah said:

Only if you allow them to infiltrate your peace of mind and personal space... I think complaining is for the weak... And a waste of energy when one is creating life... So what what other people say. I can name several woman in my immediate circle who would give their eye teeth to have the opportunity we have in creating another human being... They will never get the chance. I'm 40 and the reality of that supercedes EVERYTHING and EVERYONE... Nor do I have time to sit around thinking about what someone could be "implying" with their question. All I can say is dismiss it and move on... And if you can't the problem doesn't lie with the world outside of you - it lies with the world inside of you.

Well, I definitely don't think the problem lies inside of me. The problem is with people who think it's ok to tell someone they don't look up to standard. The fact that complete strangers feel the need to comment on anyone's body, pregnant or not, is pretty terrible. It's great and all that you are so secure in yourself, but don't tell anyone else here that the problem is them instead of the people saying terrible thing to them. That's not going to solve anything. It's about being a decent human being. Not trying to be rude, but I really don't want someone telling me the problem is with myself, when I couldn't purposely say something hurtful to anyone no matter how much I may want to, instead of the assholes that put people down on a daily basis.

mariloofah · October 2014

WHEN YOU COMPLAIN...
You make yourself a victim.
Leave the situation,
Change the situation or accept it...
All else is madness

Eckhart Tolle

I suggest reading my comments again if you don't understand them.

acpruchnik · October 2014

holachicaaa said:

I think it's best as human beings to be sensitive to the feelings as others and to do our best to be kind. Sometimes people make flippant comments that can hurt people's feelings. You do not seem to be showing much sensitivity @mariloofah‌ by calling others weak. I have also not seen a person on here express anything but joy about being pregnant, even through discomfort, so I'm not quite sure what you're even trying to say with some of your response.

Exactly this!

No one on here is saying we're ungrateful to be pregnant and we all recognize how wonderful it is to be on this journey. We're all clearly excited and embracing this time and we're allowed to be sensitive and feel insulted when someone is being insensitive. If it was just someone being a baby about it themselves then it wouldn't be something so common and there wouldn't be full-blown articles about it. It also wouldn't be mentioned in top-selling pregnancy books, either. Yes, it's extremely unfortunate that it's an issue, but it's still an issue and deserves to be handled carefully and with the utmost compassion.

But, @mariloofah, NO ONE should be expected to happily embrace barfing their guts out, constantly being uncomfortable/achy and especially not being told to "buck up" about anything while their baby-inhabited body is growing (particularly by another pregnant woman). We tolerate feeling crappy because we know there's a happy ending to it. So do us all a favor and stop acting like us complaining here and there means we're unappreciative.

By all means, be tough with your feelings and enjoy your pregnancy whole-heartedly because it's an amazing time and the most beautiful gift you'll ever receive. But don't talk down to the rest of us about being honest about our feelings. Encouragement is fine, but you've taken it to a different level and it's not ok, which is why you've done nothing but upset people over it.

You telling us to suck it up and quit complaining is only adding to the problem and I think it's unfortunate. If you can't be nice and understanding, then please do us all a favor and remove yourself from the thread because all you're doing is making a problem where there doesn't need to be one.

MrsTucker2011 · October 2014

mariloofah said:
WHEN YOU COMPLAIN...
You make yourself a victim.
Leave the situation,
Change the situation or accept it...
All else is madness

Eckhart Tolle

I suggest reading my comments again if you don't understand them.

You should read everyone else's comments again as I don't think YOU'RE understanding them. Just because people say hurtful things doesn't mean we have to listen or accept it. By not standing up for yourself, you make yourself a "victim" (as you like to call it.)

Your comments are belittling to those of us who have had to deal with these inconsiderate people/comments. Yes, we know what's important. Does not mean it's OK for people to say or do those things.

StephanieLBerg · October 2014

mrsthadababy said:

mariloofah said:
WHEN YOU COMPLAIN...
You make yourself a victim.
Leave the situation,
Change the situation or accept it...
All else is madness

Eckhart Tolle

I suggest reading my comments again if you don't understand them.
You should read everyone else's comments again as I don't think YOU'RE understanding them. Just because people say hurtful things doesn't mean we have to listen or accept it. By not standing up for yourself, you make yourself a "victim" (as you like to call it.)

Your comments are belittling to those of us who have had to deal with these inconsiderate people/comments. Yes, we know what's important. Does not mean it's OK for people to say or do those things.

THIS! ^^^^^^^^ Just because you're 40 and are happy you're pregnant and don't care what anyone else does or says to you, doesn't mean that the rest of us don't get offended, or shouldn't get offended, when it does happen to us. I think the fact that you're making such a stink about it says that you do get offended on some level but choose to take the opposing side of the argument for the sake of arguing about it.

mariloofah · October 2014

#1...No one said I was speaking down to any one... That's how you interpreted it and your interpretation is sadly incorrect... Again... And not once did I say "suck it up." I said change the perception...And again it adds to my original argument that we create the world we live in...

You choose to read my words as an attack - and they are not- it's just a different mind set than yours. And then you go on with the complaints of barfing, aching etc.. As if I am slighting your experience... I just think complaining means one is slighting THERE OWN EXPERIENCE.
There are women out there in the world giving birth alone in a bush somewhere...Others who are not allowed to cry because it would show weakness during the birth process - then there are those who are unable to give birth at all... And we are talking about how someone made me feel with a comment - come on... You all have to be thicker than that... And I am suppose to NOT VOICE my opinion on what I see as a sign of weakness at a time when we should feel our bravest? And if we don't feel our bravest - why is that? Is that because of our own thinking or because someone asked our due date? Or has a look in their eye like I shouldn't be this big this soon. It shouldn't be that easy to get knocked off if center. Those are warped perceptions and It's a made up head game ladies that one will drive themselves insane with.

Why is that insensitive for pointing out? Its insensitive to the people who would rather complain about it than change it within themselves. Everyone who has responded to my points has taken it personally - and missed the point entirely.

I really don't think there is any ground for us to stand on as Pregnant American woman. This whole forum is a symptom of the histrionics that exist because we live in affluence. We have time to complain... Time to whine.. Time to write and read articles on the bs we are suppose to be insulted by this week... Meanwhile there are woman out there who don't have and never will have that time or luxury.

What makes you purposeful - or better yet purpose filled? Is it living in a state of mind where you're not asked to think about things a different way?

There is a serious lack of maturity in your responses to me ladies if I am not allowed to say what I am thinking in response to an article and comments on a public forum.... The difference is you have taken my comments as if I am speaking directly to you and I am not... I am speaking directly to the insecurity that abides in us all and how to rule over it. Crying won't rule over it... Complaining won't rule over. Changing your mind set will if you believe words can't touch the beauty that exists in you and the beauty that you are creating. That's what these forums are for... Transition - not just a blanket bitchfest. We can all play victims - that's easy... Woe is me! But we are all bigger than that... Including the one who asked me to leave the thread... Ha! Uh? Nah!

And are you kidding I can't be in the club cause you all can't handle a difference of opinion? apparently I really did strike a nerve... Apparently these forums are for agreement only and to say anything otherwise is as insulting as the button pushers we originally were speaking of. Sorry I don't live in that kind of world ladies where I allow that kind of dominion over me... I don't have time to decipher a sideways glance or a comment from aunt Betty that I am getting "too big" ... And neither do you.

those articles in the baby books usually fall short by not saying to let things roll off your back. Now if your are reading that And interpreting it as if I think I am better.. That is another fabrication in your tender head... I am simply saying let it roll off your back... You got other things to worry about.I hope.

Try changing how you hear the comments from relatives, strangers, colleagues - in your head.. instead of hearing only an insult... Hear how they wished it might have come out.. And respond from a gentle place that someone cared to engage you in conversation. To look at it any other way (like an jab or insult) is weak mindedness... And not being in control of ones emotional well being.

No apologies - just the the truth. And if anyone on here can't handle a differing voice of opinion... They should be the one to leave the thread. Get real.

StephanieLBerg · October 2014

mariloofah said:
#1...No one said I was speaking down to any one. That's how you interpreted it and your interpretation is sadly incorrect... Again... And not once did I say "suck it up." I said change the perception...And again it adds to my original argument that we create the world we live in...

You choose to read my words as an attack - and they are not- it's just a different mind set than yours. And then you go on with the complaints of barfing, aching etc.. As if I am slighting your experience... I just think complaining means one is slighting THERE OWN EXPERIENCE.
There are women out there in the world giving birth alone in a bush somewhere...Others who are not allowed to cry because it would show weakness during the birth process - then there are those who are unable to give birth at all... And we are talking about how someone made me feel with a comment - come on... You all have to be thicker than that... And I am suppose to NOT VOICE my opinion on what I see as a sign of weakness at a time when we should feel our bravest? And if we don't feel our bravest - why is that? Is that because of our own thinking or because someone asked our due date? Or has a look in their eye like I shouldn't be this big this soon. It shouldn't be that easy to get knocked off if center. Those are warped perceptions and It's a made up head game ladies that one will drive themselves insane with.

Why is that insensitive for pointing out? Its insensitive to the people who would rather complain about it than change it within themselves. Everyone who has responded to my points has taken it personally - and missed the point entirely.

I really don't think there is any ground for us to stand on as Pregnant American woman. This whole forum is a symptom of the histrionics that exist because we live in affluence. We have time to complain... Time to whine.. Time to write and read articles on the bs we are suppose to be insulted by this week... Meanwhile there are woman out there who don't have and never will have that time or luxury.

What makes you purposeful - or better yet purpose filled? Is it living in a state of mind where you're not asked to think about things a different way?

There is a serious lack of maturity in your responses to me ladies if I am not allowed to say what I am thinking in response to an article and comments on a public forum.... The difference is you have taken my comments as if I am speaking directly to you and I am not... I am speaking directly to the insecurity that abides in us all and how to rule over it. Crying won't rule over it... Complaining won't rule over. Changing your mind set will if you believe words can't touch the beauty that exists in you and the beauty that you are creating. That's what these forums are for... Transition - not just a blanket bitchfest. We can all play victims - that's easy... Woe is me! But we are all bigger than that... Including the one who asked me to leave the thread... Ha! Uh? Nah!

And are you kidding I can't be in the club cause you all can't handle a difference of opinion? apparently I really did strike a nerve... Apparently these forums are for agreement only and to say anything otherwise is as insulting as the button pushers we originally were speaking of. Sorry I don't live in that kind of world ladies where I allow that kind of dominion over me... I don't have time to decipher a sideways glance or a comment from aunt Betty that I am getting "too big" ... And neither do you.

those articles in the baby books usually fall short by not saying to let things roll off your back. Now if your are reading that And interpreting it as if I think I am better.. That is another fabrication in your tender head... I am simply saying let it roll off your back... You got other things to worry about.I hope.

Try changing how you hear the comments from relatives, strangers, colleagues - in your head.. instead of hearing only an insult... Hear how they wished it might have come out.. And respond from a gentle place that someone cared to engage you in conversation. To look at it any other way (like an jab or insult) is weak mindedness... And not being in control of ones emotional well being.

No apologies - just the the truth. And if anyone on here can't handle a differing voice of opinion... They should be the one to leave the thread. Get real.

Ok well you can get off your soap box at any time. No one was saying that you can't have a difference of opinion. All we were saying was we don't agree with you, just like you don't agree with us. We're allowed to interpret whatever you say however we want, just like you are with what we say in response to you. The beauty of free speech is that we CAN have a difference of opinion from yours. No one is trying to dominate you nor are we saying that we want you ousted from the club. This is a discussion, we are doing just that....DISCUSSING this topic. You don't like how the thread is progressing? Your browser's back button is the proverbial door. And in regard to you calling this forum a so-called bitchfest, saying that us coming on here to vent and look for support as weak mindedness, is an insult in and of itself! Women come on here to vent and gain support in times of turmoil in their lives during their pregnancies. THAT is the purpose of an online forum! A lot of us are first time moms and don't really know what to expect, so we all are plunging head first into the abyss, blind. How dare you come on here and talk down to us as if we need to prove ourselves to you! The only one who needs to grow up and change around here is you! We all were doing just fine without you and your rude dribble that you seem to be trying to force feed us. Come on, you're 40; act like the grown woman you are and get a grip!

ETA: Content

mamabumkin · October 2014

Wait a sec... @mariloofah I see several things wrong here. While on the one hand I agree with being a little tougher skinned to perceived slights and unintentionally rude comments. I'm a follower of Dr.William Glassers Choice Theory and do think the emotions we feel are our own choice, no matter what external sources throw at us. However that all is applicable when we're not being overrun by hormones and a drastically changing body.

I do think during pregnancy a good portion of all emotional control kind of flies out the window. I am a normally emotionally stable person. I've had issues with my weight through the years, but that is my own issue and I completely own that it is all me and something I'm still working on. Now, non pregnant me isn't concerned anymore at my age about what other people think about how I look. But since I've been pregnant I've been an emotional mess. It may not be every single day but it's nearly so. Hell, I cried over dropping a banana on the floor! No real explanation for crying, just happened, and it was actually funny. I can feel when it is brewing, I know the tears are just below the surface, even if I am mentally fine. One little comment, look, or anything could set me off when I am like that...and it's all hormones.

The problem here, mariloofah, is that in text, you are coming off as a know it all, better than all of us weak-minded complaining bitchfesters on this message board with- your comments. It's fine if you think you are better than everyone here because you are above having hormonal emotional outbursts and apparently have superior emotional control, but telling a bunch of hormonal woman that they are being weak minded by commiserating over the journey we are all going through...the good, the bad, and the farty, is not going to make you any friends, nor will it make your comments very well received.

The other major problem I have with your posts, is that you've twice tried to use guilt trips to support your points. Yes, there are plenty of women who live in poverty giving birth. Yes there are plenty of women who are infertile and won't ever experience carrying a baby. But, just because these circumstances exist in the world, doesn't mean anyone who is not in those circumstances needs to feel guilty over wanting to complain about back pain, heartburn, swollen ankles, weight gain, and when people are rude to us. Guilt trips are a form of manipulation. You are trying to manipulate the women of the board to change their perception of the world to yours....and that will just result in pissing everyone off. Best bet would just be to let it go, move on from this thread, and avoid the threads that involve complaining since your point of view is obviously not being received very well in here.

***********************************************************************************************************

As for the article, I have had my share of uncalled for comments, belly touches (though so far not with this pregnancy-yet). I agree that most people should just mind their own business, because the assumption that all a pregnant woman wants to talk about is her pregnancy is quite wrong. I'm happy not talking about it at all to anyone who's not my husband or children. I don't need people in my personal space. I don't need small talk over the size of my bump.

My husband said something very touching to me last night in one of my moments of crying and feeling huge... "I fell in love with you when you were happy with your weight. I married you when you were bigger than you wanted to be. I will continue to love you every day till we die, whether or not you are happy with your weight or not. I am more attracted to you every single day. Not just your body--which I am really enjoying right now--, but your mind and your spirit, the whole you." Yeah he made me cry more, but they were tears of joy and love rather than the depressed moment I was having. Some times we need to vent to other ladies who understand what we're going through...other times all we need is someone who loves us unconditionally to tell us exactly what we need to hear and it makes it all better.

mommaa1615 · October 2014

@mariloofah‌ aren't you just perfect! You're telling me not once you have complained or whined about a pregnancy symptom or anything related? Give me a break!

[Deleted User] · October 2014

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MrsTucker2011 · October 2014

Wow @mariloofah‌ . That's like the pregnancy version of "eat your brussell sprouts, there are starving kids in Africa."

Newsflash- this is an international forum and not all of us live in the US of A.
Obviously this is going nowhere, so next time someone is ridiculously rude to me, I'll just go give birth in a bush. That'll show them!

DronkeyGal · October 2014

@mariloofah‌ I had a coworker tell me last week, "wow! You're so big already, it must be twins!" I am extremely confident in my body and while I knew her comments were not true and did not affect my body image, it still made me angry. Just because I am strong enough to let these comments roll off my shoulders does NOT make them ok.

Another example. My aunt asked me how much weight I had gained so far. Again, I am very confident and an open book, so I told her 18 pounds. Does the fact that I am able to rise above these rude comments make them any more ok? No, it does not.

Stop shaming the victims (pregnant women) for the inappropriate actions of the commenters.

DronkeyGal · October 2014

One point I forgot to add. @mariloofah‌ your comments seem to insinuate that we are choosing to be victims and that this makes us weak. No one chooses to be a victim and it certainly does not make you weak. Becoming a victim is something that is decided for you against your will. Hence the very definition of victim.

Izzy0927 · October 2014

@mariloofah

https://38.media.tumblr.com/616ab3dbff3f0a76f37e706338469baf/tumblr_n2e41oy7BM1qcqoq3o4_400.gif

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