AW: I need hugs, please I'm freaking out

PinkCamino · October 2014

My SIL is pregnant. She announced it to me tonight face to face after not speaking to me for more than 6 months. She's done some horrible things to me and tonight apparently she gave it a ton of thought and thought that the best way to tell me was to tell me to my face. I started sobbing and having a panic attack and had to leave.

Please tell me I'm not horrible. I'm sitting here crying because I cannot believe she would put me on the spot like this. After her loss, I researched and researched how to tell her I was pregnant and decided to tell her on her terms on the phone so she could react however she saw fit. Instead, she told me face to face and made me feel like an asshole for my response.

Guys, the universe fucking hates me. My in-laws wanted to celebrate and my heart was just ripping into pieces.

For fuck sake, my loss anniversary is coming. This was not the night to tell me. October is so fucking hard as it is.

Menrandes · October 2014

I am so sorry *huge hugs* You are not anywhere close to horrible. You are hurting and you can feel however you need to feel. I don't blame you at all for having that reaction, I've had similar one's myself. Take care of yourself. I'd attach a funny gif here, but I'm on mobile with a horrible connection!

Rachaeleigh · October 2014

(((Hugs)))

dawnstar898 · October 2014

(((hugs))) You are not a horrible person. That must have felt like a punch in the gut! I am so sorry she did that to you.

megrae12 · October 2014

Huge ((Hugs)) Pink. That was a ridiculous thing for her to do. You are not a horrible person, I couldn't imagine how to react to something like that. >:D<

MyFirstRaspberry · October 2014

So many ((hugs)). That's just awful and inconsiderate. You are not horrible, you are human.

Km380 · October 2014

Huge (((hugs))) Pink. You are not horrible. You are dealing with a horrible shit situation. Your reaction is normal, you're only human. (((Hugs))) be kind to yourself

ctk181 · October 2014

I'm so, so sorry. You are not horrible at all. It was horrible of you SIL to put you in that position. It is just a shitty situation all around. ((Hugs))

mara005 · October 2014

Many, many ((hugs))!!!!

skategirl128 · October 2014

So many hugs hugs coming your way! I'm so sorry she sprung that on you

Sending more love your way!

foodie12rn · October 2014

Big hugs. I'm so sorry!!

jjbmstinco · October 2014

((hugs)) PC. I think I would of reacted the same way.

ellebelle2384 · October 2014

I'm sorry. That would be incredibly hard, especially with the timing with October. I would hope that your family would understand how you need some time to process and deal with the news on your own terms. I hope the rest of your weekend is much better.

mrspipp · October 2014

Huge (((hugs))). That was awful of her to ambush you and put you in a horrible spot. You shouldn't feel bad about your reaction, she should feel bad about the way it happened.

uromys · October 2014

I'm so terribly sorry!!! I just want to hug you right now! It's okay doll!!! Completly justifiable. (((So many creepy internet his))) I'm so sorry!

BookishMomma · October 2014

Am I correct in remembering that your SIL used to "spy" on you here? Well, PC's SIL, if you are reading this, that was a shitty shitty thing to do.

((Hugs)) PC

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Oh PC

I'm so sorry. My heart aches for you. HUGE ((hugs) You are 100% entitled to your emotions. It was shitty of everyone to not give you space and time to process and super shitty to expect you to celebrate! You have NOTHING to feel bad about.

rubysi · October 2014

She really doesn't have any common sense. I am sorry you had to endure her self centered behavior yet again. ((Hugs))

meredithcarole · October 2014

I am so very sorry that she was not able to tell you in a way that would have allowed for you to have some privacy to react and digest the news. I think it is totally understandable that this came as a shock to you and I think your reaction is one that many of us would have had. It is so hard to hear that kind of news from someone whom we are close to, even more so when the relationship is not a good one. October is hard in the first place, as you said, and having an impending loss date makes it worse. I hope that she and your in laws are able to understand that you need some space and some time to accept this. Do not let anyone, including yourself, guilt you into doing or saying anything you are not comfortable with. ((((Hugs))))

buggirl72 · October 2014

Oh love, I am so, so sorry (((hugs))). Please do not beat yourself up for how you reacted. This month is hard enough for you and your H and your relationship with your SIL is hard enough without her blindsiding you. You reacted in a normal way and in a way that your SIL probably expected. I'm not saying she planned on upsetting you, only that she more than likely expected it to.

<br>

if your H feels up to it, have him contact your ILs and tell them you both need space to process this news. Concentrate on each other and try not to worry about what they are thinking or how you came across.
You know where to find me.

SeaParrot · October 2014

I'm very sorry she was so insensitive. People can be absolute jerks about this sort of thing and I hate that you've been so hurt. She should be a shamed of herself, especially considering how careful you were to tell her properly.

CandST2014 · October 2014

Ugh. I'm so sorry. (((Hugs)))

joanrain · October 2014

OP, hope you feel better. When I told my mom about my 2nd miscarriage, she told me my cousin's wife is pregnant for two months. WTF! I just brush it off my shoulders because having a baby is not a competition! And remember once you have got your rainbow baby your baby will be younger and cuter than hers! Cheer up! We will get through this!

PinkCamino · October 2014

joanrain said:
OP, hope you feel better. When I told my mom about my 2nd miscarriage, she told me my cousin's wife is pregnant for two months. WTF! I just brush it off my shoulders because having a baby is not a competition! And remember once you have got your rainbow baby your baby will be younger and cuter than hers! Cheer up! We will get through this!

I might never get my rainbow.

eliida · October 2014

I am so so so sorry. You are not horrible; she is inconsiderate. ((HUGS))

joanrain · October 2014

Hi Wickedsugar,

I am not sure what you meant by that, but I'm still going through my 2nd miscarriage as I type. I just want to stay positive and I hope all girls here can get their rainbow baby. It's a little harsh to say "who may never get their rainbows". Nobody on this board wants to fall into that category.

Hope you feel better now.

Thanks.

PinkCamino · October 2014

joanrain said:

Hi Wickedsugar, I am not sure what you meant by that, but I'm still going through my 2nd miscarriage as I type. I just want to stay positive and I hope all girls here can get their rainbow baby. It's a little harsh to say "who may never get their rainbows". Nobody on this board wants to fall into that category. Hope you feel better now. Thanks.

But I do fall into that category.

Flurison · October 2014

Ughh, that's awful. That was really insensitive of her. I'm so sorry ((hugs)).

joanrain · October 2014

I'm sorry PinkCamino, I hope a miracle would appear for you then.

Wickedsugar, I have no interest or intention to argue with you, that was based on my readings recently after I had got my second miscarriage when I was under a lot of stress and I do believe my stress was part of the cause. We should all try to be peaceful and positive, and be nice to each other.

PinkCamino · October 2014

joanrain said:

I'm sorry PinkCamino, I hope a miracle would appear for you then. Wickedsugar, I have no interest or intention to argue with you, that was based on my readings recently after I had got my second miscarriage when I was under a lot of stress and I do believe my stress was part of the cause. We should all try to be peaceful and positive, and be nice to each other.

Please stop.

Your comment was hurtful to me and to the other ladies who don't know if they'll ever get their rainbow.

I was asking for hugs and support because I'm dealing with something really hurtful in my personal life right now. I'd appreciate if you'd stop jacking my thread to spew shit that makes no sense.

The last thing I need right now is someone who I don't even know reminding me to stay hopeful. I'm glad you're still hopeful and honestly I hope you get to have your rainbow but TTCAL is not a place to spew platitudes and stick band aids -- we're honest about the fact that as much as it sucks and breaks our hearts some will never get to move on.

PinkCamino · October 2014

wickedsugar said:

joanrain said:

I'm sorry PinkCamino, I hope a miracle would appear for you then. Wickedsugar, I have no interest or intention to argue with you, that was based on my readings recently after I had got my second miscarriage when I was under a lot of stress and I do believe my stress was part of the cause. We should all try to be peaceful and positive, and be nice to each other.

OMFG !!! PLEASE JUST STOP !!!!!!
Nope not in the TOU...

Do us all a big fucking favor, see the first post pinned ?? The "Read this before posting here" post ? Read, read it again, lurk, get a feel for the board, intro & lay off the fucking platitudes.

And FOR FUCKS SAKE , STRESS WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAVE A LOSS,

I'm sorry this is taking over your post PC, when you need the love
=((

Whatever, honestly I think it's time we have this discussion about platitudes. Just this week there was a comment made about it being promising that one of our new members gets pregnant quickly and apparently nobody but me was phased by it.

Let's have that conversation shall we? Because honestly, I'm so over the shit show that TTCAL has become.

joanrain · October 2014

Sorry girls, I'll shut up now. Good luck!

ashlee113085 · October 2014

I'm so sorry you are going through this @PinkCamino. Your SIL was very insensitive. Sending you ((hugs)).

alm288 · October 2014

I'm so sorry - that was really inconsiderate of her. (((Hugs)))

forevermyfenix · October 2014

@pinkcamino , oh hun, I'm so sorry your SIL was so inconsiderate. I'm newer here so I'm still learning the ropes and I don't know your history beyond your siggy, but know even some of us newbies respect you and are sending ((BIG HUGS)). You have every right to your feelings, and your reaction was natural. It was unfair of your family to expect you to want to celebrate with them. I hope you've been able to get some rest. Take care.

MrsPhD83 · October 2014

Oh, PC, I'm so sorry this happened to you! ((hugs)) you are not a horrible person. You should not have to adjust your reaction just because she told you in person. I would have reacted the same way. I can't believe she would put you on the spot like that, when she herself had a loss!!!! As ALers, we are all supposed to support and uplift each other. I hope she feels horrible for what she did. Shame on her!

RedTwizzlers · October 2014

((((PC)))) I love you. So sorry. You don't derserve this bullshit.

CreechMommy · October 2014

You are not even close to horrible!! I cry every time someone I know announces their pregnancy. It's just hard. Especially with your loss anniversary. Major ((hugs)) to you. Take all the time you need to process. Distance yourself for a while if you need to. Just don't feel bad for how you feel. Maybe one day you can explain how you feel to her and she will be sympathetic. Hopefully. But even if that day doesn't come. Don't let her or anyone make you feel bad for how you feel.

toomanycats1 · October 2014

....Siggy Warning.....

I'm so sorry Pink, your SIL truly sucks.

((Hugs)) to Pink and all the TTCAL ladies that have been hurt lately by insensitive platitudes and comments.

PinkCamino · October 2014

cavewmn said:
PinkCamino I just went through my whole thing to make sure I wasn't the platitude person you were talking about. I don't think I was. But if some how I missed it and I was. I am sorry.

No no it was not you. If it had been trust me you would know

sunflwra · October 2014

Nothing to add that others haven't already said but just BIG HUGE ((HUGS)) Pink!

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