~~* FTM & BTDTM Play Date! 10/02 ~~*

AMShark · October 2014

Welcome to the First Time Mothers (FTM) & Been There Done That Mothers (BTDTM) Play Date!

This is a thread for the FTM's in our PAIF community. Check-ins will be posted every other Thursday. On alternating Thursdays, I'll post a FT & BTDT moms' "Play Date" thread - in which we inexperienced first timers ask for advice and feedback from the more experienced ladies in our communities.

Here are our FTM's, ordered by EDD:

Third Trimester

10/23/14 - @Cutiecruz327

11/19/14 - @Ashris13
11/04/14 - @rox825

11/07/14 - @lincoln79

12/13/14 - @CandaceC1020

12/15/14 - @heleng5

12/15/14 - @xc1148

12/30/14 - @Saintelizabeth

Second Trimester

01/13/15 - @southernyankeegirl
01/21/15 - @hopeby2015
01/24/15 - @Lady2010

02/02/15 - @WA1215

02/11/15 - @MissEm15

02/17/14 - @weansworld09

02/22/15 - @runawaylaurel

03/14/15 - @Margritli (twins)

03/21/15 - @KT416

03/23/15 - @poohniki

First Trimester

04/17/15 - @pblge
04/25/15 - @BalletAn

04/25/15 - @Canuck13

04/29/15 - @AMShark (twins)

05/01/15 - @LO95

05/02/15 - @gsancho

05/07/15 - @sugar4bri (twins)

05/16/15 - @sunshinedaisies000

05/20/15 - @Lesliem0901

05/21/15 - @holberry5

05/25/15 - @Regan1976

05/25/15 - @yvonne0001
05/26/15 - @HCAMP123

05/26/15 - @viola27
05/29/15 - @1220winterbride

05/29/15 - @kittenmittens9

05/30/15 - @MJ14323

05/31/15 - @IFinTN

05/31/15 - @sweetpotato123

06/01/15 - @missmarypoppins

06/03/15 - @CarSaidYes

06/03/15 - @turquoisequeen

QOTW: I am currently obsessed with ice cream - so I'm just going to make everyone else think about it too. What's your favorite flavor? (If you don't like ice cream, tell us about something you do like).

** Play Date Note** - Hey, expectant FTM's - What do you want to know from someone who's already been through it? Now's your chance to ask questions!

BTW.... I've been holding on to the following pic, because I think it's just perfect for our first play date:

AMShark · October 2014

I'd love to start.

Question of BTDT Moms: Did you prepare a Birth Plan before your first baby? If so, did you find it useful? Did you stick to it when d-day (delivery day) came? Was your doctor/mid-wife receptive to the idea? And finally, did you use the Bump's Birth Plan Template - and would you say it was any good?

what did you read/watch/etc to help inform your birth plan? Basically, what information were you using to make your birth plan decisions?

(Feel free to answer all or any part of the question above. And THANKS a million times in advance!)

QOTW: Gosh, I dunno... there are so many... it's so hard to choose... but it's probably going to be some variation on mint chocolate chip. Straight up Breyer's mint chocolate chip - awesome. Mint Cookies & Cream - outstanding. =P~ MMMMmmmmmint chocolate chip!

*** Edited - to add @pblge's updates to question ***

southernyankeegirl · October 2014

Thanks for doing this!

QOTW: I had a Chik-fil-A cookies 'n cream milkshake yesterday. It was da bomb.

BTDTM question: How did you deal with the anxiety leading up to birth? I feel like I'm going to spend all of third trimester a nervous wreck waiting for labor to start!

pblge · October 2014

I wanted to add to your question about birth plans: what did you read/watch/etc to help inform your birth plan? Basically, what information were you using to make your birth plan decisions?

QOTW: I'm actually not usually much of an ice cream girl (too cold), but I have a bit of a problem with a salted caramel chocolate chip ice cream made with coconut milk. YUM!!!

MJ14323 · October 2014

I would love to be added, please! This will be our first, EDD 5/30/2015.

QOTW: You can't go wrong with mint chocolate chip or chocolate chip cookie dough. YUM!

BTDTM Question: Is there a balance between being happy about the pregnancy and then terrified at the same time? I'm only 5w5d but DH and I haven't really allowed ourselves to be happy yet. This could never happy again for us, so I want to enjoy it but it's hard with a 4 year history with IF.

Thanks ladies!

CandaceC1020 · October 2014

Hi everyone! My question for BTDTM's is:
Are there any suggestions of things that we should buy that isn't typical? Example: My friend who just had a baby suggested buying puppy pads (for me to sit on incase of bleeding and to use as a disposable changing pad for the baby).

QOTW - Ice cream .... yum. Now that I'm following a GD diet, I'm pretty sure ice cream is going to be off limits for me. My favorites are: chocolate ice cream in a cake cone (dont like waffle cones), a McDonalds Hot Fudge sundae, Coldstone cake batter ice cream and birthday cake remix!

Regan1976 · October 2014

Finally checking in. Today was U/S day. There is one in there. *whew* Little heart tube was going at 115. Given EDD of 5/25/15.

Been alone at the house getting the last of the bathroom remodel completed as SO is off on a little sea side regathering trip. So much stuff happened all at once! I get to see him tonight, so yea.

QOTW: Chocolate, always go for chocolate. But I'm also like @pblde, I don't like it cold so I usually let it melt a bit. It also has to do with the texture. I it solid but not runny, smooth and malleable, probably because I don't like chewing cold things.

Robeano · October 2014

Ah birth plans, or as I like to call then birth suggestions. Things so rarely go the way you want them. My midwives had a page, front and back that I filled out with my wishes for the birth. Make sure you think of everything. You might be deadset against meds or a c-section. But if you don't plan for those possibilities and they happen, a lot of women have a tough time with their births which can than cause PPD or other issues. Make sure you ask ALL the tough questions. Me and hubby had the conversation "what if you have to choose between saving me and the baby, how are you going to do that?" I cried like the whole conversation but I went in knowing we'd covered all bases. Turns out I ended up with an emergency c-section and I was glad we'd planned for that.

Robeano · October 2014

For me, I needed socks for newborn and long sleeve onesies. DD was born in winter and it seems like nobody things to buy everyday stuff that was seasonally appropriate. Mind you I was a mom that never left my kid in their sleepers so maybe I'm weird. I also liked buying disposable changing matts. Somebody bought me 3 packs of 10 and I didn't get it at first. But then you get newborn poop, it's very runny and leaks everywhere. It was much easier to toss a dirty pad then have to wash the cover all the time.

Robeano · October 2014

As a side note, if anybody is interested in my midwives birth plan page shoot me a PM and I'll send it to you.

turquoisequeen · October 2014

Hi everyone! @AMShark can I be added to the list please... EDD 6/3/2014

My question is are there any workout videos that the BTDTM's can recommend to buy? Prior to IVF, I liked doing Insanity's Cardio workout and some of Shaun T's other videos like Hip Hop Abs but I don't want to do anything that intense especially when getting back into doing more than just walking.

QOTW: Not a huge ice cream person but I do like frozen yogurt from time to time.. but my fave flavor is choc chip cookie dough

Eve_Angelique · October 2014

Chiming in from SAIF to answer Qs as well.

For a birth plan I agree with @Ducky719, you can make one but be flexible! Know that things are not going to be exactly as you plan them! With my first I used the bumps template but as I pulled it out to revisit it before I just had my second I realized how complicated and long it is! When speaking with my midwives before the birth of my second they told me that the birth plans they like best are concise and preferably fit on one page so its easy to look at. They also liked when it was broken down into the phases of labor and what your preferences were for each stage. So I had a section for labor, a section for delivery and then a section for after delivery. Labor section included things like that I wanted to avoid the use of and IV unless I became dehydrated, I wanted to be free to move around as I felt like it, I wanted to NOT be asked if I wanted any pain meds - I wanted to go all natural, but said I would ask for them if I felt like I needed them. The delivery section included the things like that I wanted to try to avoid forceps and vacuum, I wanted to only have and episiotomy if medically indicated, and I wanted the baby on my chest right away. The after delivery section had things like no visitors until 2-3 hours after delivery to have time just to ourselves with our new addition, and if baby needed to go to the nicu I wanted my husband and I to accompany the baby. I did use the bumps outline to help me build my plan but just typed it out in a more concise manner. I also had a little paragraph into at the top talking about which baby this was for me and mentioning that we did know the gender. With my first we did not know the gender so in my birth plan I had it say that I would like my husband to announce the baby's gender to me. I would be happy to share my plan if anyone does want to see!

It is hard to not be anxious about the whole birthing process especially as it gets closer. Some things that really helped my was NOT listening or paying attention to peoples birth horror stories! I hate that people only want to share those. At a birth class we went to the birth coach told us several tidbits which stuck with me as I neared toward labor. The first being that we were MADE to do this. Your body can do this and you need to trust that it can deliver your baby and you need to trust your body in that regard. I think having fear and being tense can make the whole process much more difficult. Trust that you can do this and you will! Some other things that helped were that she said that every contraction once they start is just bringing you closer to meeting your baby, and once you have a nasty contraction, once its over you aren't having that one again. Those last two helped particularly well when I was having my first and I was so excited to find out what he was! So I just got through each one knowing that even though they hurt they were bringing me much closer to meeting my little one! I did have a doula with my first as well and she was super helpful in keeping me focused on breathing well and helping me focus my energy where it needed to be.

As far as the happy question, I think with both my pregnancies I didn't really feel secure and happy in the pregnancy until I was out of the first tri. But I would try to enjoy being pregnant as much as you can. I just had my second which I am so thankful for! And I have started thinking about that fact that I may never go through that again, and it makes me so sad. I did enjoy being pregnant and feeling LO inside, don't get me wrong - towards the very end it gets a little tiring and as you approach your due date you just want the baby out! But it is an amazing time when you are able to just enjoy the fact that you are finally able to sustain another human being within you (especially after all the other stuff we've gone thru to get there!!!)

Saintelizabeth · October 2014

BTDT Moms: I have upcoming pedi interviews and I'm wondering what are some good questions to ask?

QOTW: it's a toss up between mint chocolate chip and turkey hill's Phillies ice cream called graham slam which consists of graham cracker flavored ice cream with piece of buttery graham cracker crust and little chocolates filled with caramel.

AMShark · October 2014

Saintelizabeth said:

BTDT Moms: I have upcoming pedi interviews and I'm wondering what are some good questions to ask? QOTW: it's a toss up between mint chocolate chip and turkey hill's Phillies ice cream called graham slam which consists of graham cracker flavored ice cream with piece of buttery graham cracker crust and little chocolates filled with caramel.

Oh... great question! Yes, I'm also interested in how to choose a pediatrician.

Also, although I am vehemently opposed to supporting an Philly based sports teams, I could totally support that ice cream. (Go Giants).

kittenmittens9 · October 2014

question 1: did anyone use a body pillow during pregnancy? There seem to be a variety out there and I think I'll want one later on in the pregnancy, so which ones do you suggest?

question 2: what is one thing you bought (or were gifted) that was totally unnecessary?

QOTW: I love all ice cream as long as there aren't nuts. But truth be told, I'm avoiding anything frozen right now (because I have a cold constitution) so I can't have it

There is a dairy free sea salt caramel kind of gelato that I used to eat a lot of. or perry's piece of cake.

CandaceC1020 · October 2014

kittenmittens9 said:

question 1: did anyone use a body pillow during pregnancy? There seem to be a variety out there and I think I'll want one later on in the pregnancy, so which ones do you suggest?

@kittenmittens9 - I'm almost 30 weeks. I have a Lechco Snoogle and I hate it. It's huge and bulky and takes up half of my bed. I went to Target and bought a $10 body pillow and I sleep with that every night. I'd recommend starting with a regular body pillow first and then purchase the fancy pillows if the old fashioned body pillow.

Eve_Angelique · October 2014

@kittenmittens9: I was obsessed with getting a pregnancy pillow for awhile with my first, but they are like $50 or more! So I decided that was kind of rediculous. So I just ended up using a series of king sized pillows that I already owned. And that was just fine! I usually had one between my legs, one that I hugged/had under my belly, and one at my back. I thought about getting a body pillow because they have those at say Target for about $10 but the king sized pillows worked well.

Margritli · October 2014

@AMShark, can you add me, too? EDD is 03/14/15 with twins.

southernyankeegirl · October 2014

CandaceC1020 said:

kittenmittens9 said:

question 1: did anyone use a body pillow during pregnancy? There seem to be a variety out there and I think I'll want one later on in the pregnancy, so which ones do you suggest?

@kittenmittens9 - I'm almost 30 weeks. I have a Lechco Snoogle and I hate it. It's huge and bulky and takes up half of my bed. I went to Target and bought a $10 body pillow and I sleep with that every night. I'd recommend starting with a regular body pillow first and then purchase the fancy pillows if the old fashioned body pillow.

I completely agree - my Lechco Snoogle is pretty much useless. I still sleep with it every night, mostly because it acts as a personal-space barrier between DH and me, and I need my room to roll over right now without waking up to his face right on my pillow, breathing hot wet air down my neck (love the man dearly, but he seriously hunts me in his sleep - he NEEDS to be near me, and it suffocates me when I'm trying to sleep).

I would more highly recommend getting a good pair of good, thick supportive foam king sized pillows. Keep them on either side of you so that you can roll over and tuck your knees around it. The thick foam keeps my knees apart better than the weak-sauce understuffed pregnancy pillow that does nothing to keep my hips in alignment. You can then wrap your arms around the upper part of the pillow if you like to hold something while sleeping, and as your belly gets bigger you can rest it on the pillow, too (I'm just getting to that point).

yvonne0001 · October 2014

Hi. Can I be added to the list. First timer due 5/25/15.

My question is a repeat of @turquoisequeen‌ ... I am only first tri but would love to know good workout dvds etc for pregnancy and after. I did insanity as well and love plyo and HIIT and yoga, with IVF had to stop bc my ovaries were so massive and still are. But once I am good to go I wanna stay as fit as I can. Any suggestions? :-)

QOTW: chocolate. Mostly because I am gluten intolerant and cannot eat the flavors I love most, especially right now. Whomp :-p

TJ1979 · October 2014

AMShark said:

I'd love to start.

Question of BTDT Moms: Did you prepare a Birth Plan before your first baby? If so, did you find it useful? Did you stick to it when d-day (delivery day) came? Was your doctor/mid-wife receptive to the idea? And finally, did you use the Bump's Birth Plan Template - and would you say it was any good?
what did you read/watch/etc to help inform your birth plan? Basically, what information were you using to make your birth plan decisions?

(Feel free to answer all or any part of the question above. And THANKS a million times in advance!)

QOTW: Gosh, I dunno... there are so many... it's so hard to choose... but it's probably going to be some variation on mint chocolate chip. Straight up Breyer's mint chocolate chip - awesome. Mint Cookies & Cream - outstanding. =P~ MMMMmmmmmint chocolate chip!

*** Edited - to add @pblge's updates to question ***

Hi! BTDT Mom from SAIF here. I did a natural med free birth in a hospital both times. I did not do a formal birth plan, but I 1) notified my OB ahead of time that this was my plan and 2) notified the nurses as soon as I arrived at the hospital. I didn't want to have anything exactly written down, but I wanted as little intervention as possible. Both times it worked out great, and OBs and nurses were great both times, and never even offered an epi.

TJ1979 · October 2014

pblge said:

I wanted to add to your question about birth plans: what did you read/watch/etc to help inform your birth plan? Basically, what information were you using to make your birth plan decisions? QOTW: I'm actually not usually much of an ice cream girl (too cold), but I have a bit of a problem with a salted caramel chocolate chip ice cream made with coconut milk. YUM!!!

Is this something you make, or something you buy? I need details please!

TJ1979 · October 2014

kittenmittens9 said:

question 1: did anyone use a body pillow during pregnancy? There seem to be a variety out there and I think I'll want one later on in the pregnancy, so which ones do you suggest?

question 2: what is one thing you bought (or were gifted) that was totally unnecessary?

QOTW: I love all ice cream as long as there aren't nuts. But truth be told, I'm avoiding anything frozen right now (because I have a cold constitution) so I can't have it There is a dairy free sea salt caramel kind of gelato that I used to eat a lot of. or perry's piece of cake.

I LOVE my snoogle. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I even took it overseas on a trip with me.

With my first, I thought the bouncy seat was ridiculous and pointless because she didn't care for it. But my 2nd loved it, so I guess every baby is different.

What brand is the diary free gelato?

pblge · October 2014

TJ1979 said:

pblge said:

I wanted to add to your question about birth plans: what did you read/watch/etc to help inform your birth plan? Basically, what information were you using to make your birth plan decisions? QOTW: I'm actually not usually much of an ice cream girl (too cold), but I have a bit of a problem with a salted caramel chocolate chip ice cream made with coconut milk. YUM!!!

Is this something you make, or something you buy? I need details please!

https://coconutbliss.com/coconut-bliss-products/salted-caramel-chocolate

TJ1979 · October 2014

Saintelizabeth said:

BTDT Moms: I have upcoming pedi interviews and I'm wondering what are some good questions to ask? QOTW: it's a toss up between mint chocolate chip and turkey hill's Phillies ice cream called graham slam which consists of graham cracker flavored ice cream with piece of buttery graham cracker crust and little chocolates filled with caramel.

Sorry, guess I should have answered them all in one post. I will do better next time. $:\$ ">

The most important thing I think is to get a feel for your ped's type. For example, if you are going to be the type who calls the ped for every fever, want an antibiotic for every cough, and want to be able to get a call back from your ped to talk about whatever you have going on, you might want a more aggressive ped. I am the type who doesn't call the ped often or see the ped unless I feel it is really necessary, I don't want to give meds if I don't have to, I don't want my ped's parenting advice, etc. So I was looking for a ped who was really laid back.

I would definitely find out their hours, their after hours availability, if they have a nurse's line, if they see patients on weekends, if they allow a delayed vax schedule if that's important to you, if they have a lactation consultant on staff or one that they can recommend if you plan to breastfeed. That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

pblge · October 2014

TJ1979 said:
The most important thing I think is to get a feel for your ped's type. For example, if you are going to be the type who calls the ped for every fever, want an antibiotic for every cough, and want to be able to get a call back from your ped to talk about whatever you have going on, you might want a more aggressive ped. I am the type who doesn't call the ped often or see the ped unless I feel it is really necessary, I don't want to give meds if I don't have to, I don't want my ped's parenting advice, etc. So I was looking for a ped who was really laid back.

Am I the only one who reads this and thinks, "I have no idea what kind of a mom I'll be!"

:-/ How the heck can you know in advance?!

kittenmittens9 · October 2014

@TJ1979 the brand is Dream Gelato. It's the same company that does Rice Dream and almond Dream products. https://www.tastethedream.com/

TJ1979 · October 2014

@kittenmittens9 Darn, nut free over here too.

Thanks though!

Dragonfly1226 · October 2014

CONGRATULATIONS PAIFEers!!! BTDT on Birth Plans... Here was my birth plan - Deliver healthy babies.

IMO I the most important thing is to be open with your OB about your hopes but don't get set on any list of "must haves." So many things come up during delivery that are unplanned. With my first (a singleton) I had a vaginal delivery with an epidural. I had about 15 seconds of skin to skin before DS was rushed to the NICU for evaluation because he was blue. Turns out that he was bruised from delivery but it was scary. With my second and third (twins) both were breech so I had a planned c section. It wasn't my top choice to have a c section, but it was what was best for everyone given the circumstances. They also went to the NICU for a little bit before rejoining me in recovery. I talked to my OB about having a natural c section but circumstances didn't allow for that.

So I have had different birthing experiences, but to me the most important thing is that I delivered my babies safely.

Dragonfly1226 · October 2014

@MJ14323‌ - At the beginning of my first pregnancy I was scared out of my mind that it would end in another m/c. I would sit in the waiting room before every u/s crying because I was sure we would get bad news. But then we saw a HB at 6 weeks, had a good Nt at scan at 12 weeks, I started feeling movement... With every little milestone that we got to I felt a little better about things until I did finally get to the point where I could enjoy the pregnancy. I wish I could say that the worrying stops, but that's not true. Worrying is just part of parenthood. Wishing you a very H&H 9 months!

itsmevkb · October 2014

Ahhhh, so many questions.

I had a short birth plan when I had my first and haven't done one for my other three. Each was a unique experience and none of them went 100% as I had planned/hoped or thought they would. But, for each, I felt flexibility was the key in me not feeling disappointed in any of them.

For me, I had always planned on getting an epidural and had a good experience with one when I had my first so I figured my second would a breeze. Wrong. She came fast and there was no time for an epidural so that really caught me off guard as I didn't feel at all prepared for a med-free birth. So, my advice is plan for the unexpected. If you want an epidural at least get a little info on med-free births. And, if want med-free, consider in what instances you may decide you need and/or want an epidural. Also, talk to your partner about how you'd handle an emergency c-section and also if something happens during the birth or your baby needs emergency care. I can remember discussing that with my husband and thinking oh, but that won't ever really happen and then it did as my first ended up in the NICU.

And, if your labor and the birth end up not really going how you wanted, like you wanted med-free but after those contractions really kick in you decided the epi would help you save your energy, etc. don't be hard on yourself. No matter how you did it, you just managed to grow a new human being AND get it out into the world safely. Ladies, that's an achievement beyond words.

As for the anxiety leading up to labor, well, that hasn't gone away for me yet and this will hopefully be my fifth labor and delivery. I think after my second came so quickly and was such a crazy, wild ride, it became almost a little easier to just accept that what will be will be. But, it's still something I've had to deal with each time around. I've got no real good answers ;-)

Although I freely admit to having anxiety, basically all throughout pregnancy, I also seriously try and enjoy every moment of it. That was easier for me prior to my miscarriages but even after them, at some point, I just had to tell myself to not let the worry and anxiety get out of control. I was doing everything I could to have a healthy pregnancy so worrying wasn't going to help that and in the end, no matter how the pregnancy ended up, I didn't want to look back having never enjoyed the time I was pregnant.

PennyLane26 · October 2014

Woo hoo! What a party!

First - birth plans. hah! No, but seriously, the best plan is no plan. Other than being adamant about using pain meds or going natural, I can't say you have control over much. At least in my experience, I was hoping for a med-free, natural birth but had serious Pre-E and was induced weeks early, so I was pretty much tied to the bed with monitors and IVs of pitocin. That being said, my birth plan went out the window but I loved every.single.minute of my labor experience and wouldn't have changed a thing. My birth plan just proved to me how little I understood about the labor experience. In the moment, I didn't care about my wants for an enjoyable birth experience,I just wanted my girl to be healthy. Now that I am expecting baby #2 my birth plan is:

1. Advocate for myself and my child.

2. Go with the flow.

Simple as that!

Second- workout DVDs. I loved Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred post birth. It was something that was't too intense but I could do the quick 25 minute workout between feedings and it was manageable. I recommend it! I'll definitely be using that again after this LO arrives.

Third - pedis. I liked reading reviews online and also making sure that distance wise, the pedi wasn't too far from my house. DD struggled with weight gain and we were at the pedi at least twice a week for the first 2 months, so it was nice not to have to drive further than 15 minutes.

Fourth - unnecessary items. Diaper Genies or whatever. I found a great small sized garbage can with a lid for $10 that we keep in our 2nd floor bath for dirty dipes. No special bags to buy and it does the job!

Fifth - anxiety. Oh dear. That's tough. I don't think there is anything that will calm IF brain. I will say that now that I have experienced a second pregnancy, the fears of the first were not present this time around. It has been a much more calming and enjoyable time.

MJ14323 · October 2014

I can't tell you ladies how much I am loving this thread. Thank you for being so helpful! As a first time mom-to-be, I have so many questions and I feel stupid asking them sometimes, so I truly appreciate it!

Mrs.AmyDylan · October 2014

Hi everyone! Congrats on being PAIFers!

Okay let me see if I can group a bunch together.

Birthing plan - we did the Bradley classes because I wanted a med free birth. The plan was great for DH and I to get on the same page. He will be your advocate if you don't have a doula. My DH does better with stuff written down! Ours ended up being more or less unnecessary since we delivered at a birthing center. The stuff I wanted was their standard deal.

Delivery anxiety - J came two weeks early three days after Christmas. I can say the holidays distracted me big time! Try not to do anything crazy in your third tri. We did a massive interior renovation that started when I was 35w. Very stressful and a terrible idea.

Workouts during pregnancy - I swam a ton. A good friend of mine (IVF sister) kept her usual workout routines, cutting down intensity. Wear a hr monitor and just watch your exertion. I played tennis until about 19w. Yoga is good also.

Unnecessary baby stuff - honestly, all the cute clothes. I out J in mostly the baby nightgowns with the drawstring at the bottom (vintage gear my mom saved). I tried to dress her up in all the cute stuff, but she only wore most items once or twice. Take the clothes back, get store credit and buy stuff as needed.

Unexpected items - put a trash bag (and puppy pads) on the seat of your car as you get close to delivery. If your water breaks or leaks (in my case) you aren't freaking out about the car seat. To buy, get breast pads. If you nurse or not, your boobs will leak. A ton. Also, wait on nursing bras until 2-3w post-partum. Just get some cotton sleep bras until they finish adjusting in size.

yvonne0001 · October 2014

BTDT question... Maternity bras. My boobs, I am naturally busty as is, are growing in a way only my DH enjoys. And they hurt. I know soon enough I will need to swap bra sizes because I am almost popping out of my bra already. I am only 6weeks along. Is it smart to buy a maternity bra when the upgrade happens, or just buy a bigger sized regular bra for now, because they will grow anyway and later purchase one/nursing bra? And either way, any recommendations on brands etc? And what to really look for? My boobs thank you in advance.

trigirl79 · October 2014

Hi there - popping over from SAIF. I have a 15 mo old daughter, conceived after 2 rounds of IUI. I'm currently TTC for #2

I'm happy to help answer any questions and think this is an awesome idea - congrats to all of you!

Birth plans - I had one and pretty much stuck to it, though I did get an epidural which I hadn't was hoping not to. My MW was super receptive and open, helped with suggestions. I also did a lot of googling to get ideas and basically took bits and pieces from a ton of them. But do be flexible. Make sure you go over it with your OB/MW before you go to the hospital, and that your SO knows and is on board with everything too. One thing we did add in was that if something were to happen and our daughter needed to be transfered, H was to go and STAY with her. For some reason I was big into her not being alone.

Anxiety - I am type A so I had a crap tons of lists and docs with what I had, what I needed, packed in advance, the totally nerdy FTM thing. But, if I get P again, I am sure I will be much the same. For me just knowing I had done everything I could was important. As for worrying about the labor/delivery/and actual being a parent, I tried to read some but figured I would read as I needed to. 15 months later and I still do that. If she's out of sorts or off on sleeping or I'm curious, I'll see what could be going on based on milestones, etc. But I don't worry about the future. I was so worried I wouldn't know when I was really going into labor, but my water broke at home and there was NO question what was going on there. You'll here if from everyone, but you will know when it's time.

Being happy while P - I was, even though towards the end I had issues and was measuring small and worried about having to be induced early. I also worried a lot. I'm a nurse and knew a lot of what could happen. But tried to just take it day by day and wake up happy and grateful every day. It's not always easy, but for me once I saw the heartbeat and then got released from my RE it helped a ton.

Stuff to Buy - I loved puppy pads for naked time, which we did a lot to keep her "aired out" and avoid diaper rashes. She also had relfux so they were great for tummy time too.

Stuff to Avoid - We CD so didn't need a genie, I think a wipes warmer is a waste (though a lot of people would debate that), and too many cute and non functional newborn clothes. Our daughter lived in PJs or onesies. I like dressing her up more now that she's older - I think it's more fun and ridic cute!

Workouts - I am a triathlete and managed to swim bike run through most of my pregnancy. I would highly recommend staying in shape and keeping doing what you are doing, to the extent you are comfortable. There are some great lower impact programs through Beachbody (the company that does Insanity, Hip Hop Abs) that would be great to do. I'd be happy to share my personal experiences with programs and working out while pregnant for anyone that wants to chat!

Ped interviews - ask about vaccine policies and make sure they align with yours, also what are their hours, do they have walk in hours, how are after hours calls do, do they have privileges where you will deliver and how do they handle discharges). But also know it's OK to switch - we are in the process of doing it now

Maternity bras - I didn't get maternity/nursing ones till I was almost due, I just bought some from target that were a bigger size and they were fine. And FWIW my boobs grew HUGE early on too

rox825 · October 2014

Late to the game! Thanks to all of the BTDTMs for your advice! My question may seem silly but it's something that I just don't know... what nursery rhymes, lullabies, etc did you sing to your LOs when they were tiny? I need to learn some so that I have something to sing besides the itsy bitsy spider :-)

Re- pregnancy pillows I got a preggle and it was great until 2-3 weeks ago, now I can't imagine that anything would help me to get comfortable.

QOTW- depends on the day but I love basic chocolate, vanilla bean, or mint chocolate chip.

mnj05 · October 2014

Coming in from SAIF!

Birth Plan - I did not have one. I went in thinking my doctor knows what she's doing so I'm going to trust her. I did tell her I knew I wanted an epi, but after that, it was all up to her and baby. I know this is isn't normal for most people, and really not even me being such a planner by nature, but it worked.

Pillow - I just used a body pillow from Tar.get and several standard sized pillows.

Unnecessary Items - diaper genie for sure (and I didn't even register for one)

Pregnancy Feelings - It took a while for me to relax, but I don't know that I ever really did completely. I didn't have any symptoms and freaked out regularly, in fact the night before every appointment, I cried to DH about whether the baby would still be there. When I started feeling movement, I settled down a bit.

Pedi Interviews - we didn't interview anyone, just went off of recs from neighbors.

chrissynena · October 2014

I like this thread....

I didn't really have a birth plan, no one asked for one anyway. I figured I would do whatever needed to be done to deliver a healthy baby. (That happened to be labor for 36 hours, then have a C section). This time is a RCS.

For pillows....I just use a lot of them.

Anxiety.....I had lots of anxiety my first pregnancy. I had an anterior placenta so movement wasn't there a lot of the times. I relied on a heart beat doppler to get get me through most days between appointments. This time both placentas are in the back and I feel everything. all. the. time. so I haven't had to use the doppler much since the early second trimester.

Pediatricians....I actually just went with a referral from a friend.

Songs.....It took me probably 3-4 months before I could get through all of you are my sunshine without crying. I rely on signing to pandora with her now, but when she was tiny I would hum a lot of Phantom of the Opera or Wicked to her lol.

QOTW....My favorite is Blue Bunny Super Chunky Cookie Dough. I'm not an ice cream snob unless it has fruit in it, then no thank you but anything else yum.

Ruthie04 · October 2014

How awesome! Wish we had this 2.5 years ago when I was around ;-). Chiming in from SAIF...I have 2 year old twin boys.

Birth plan: I told my docs I wanted to leave the hospital with two healthy babies and that's exactly what I got. My sisters and SIL had 9 perfect, epidural vaginal births and I was hoping for the same. But, both boys had IUGR and baby b was a flipping machine. So, we did a c/s in the end. The actual surgery was fantastic! No stress and totally calm. I do not think there was any less joy in that room because I didn't have a vaginal delivery and I think it really helped that I was emotionally prepared for a c/s. I kinda liken it to their conception- a whole team of people cared enough to help them enter the world, that's beautiful too! The recovery was tough, but I was on pelvic rest after 16 weeks, so I was in awful shape.

Exercise: Any motion made me vomit until about 18w and I was put on restrictions at 16w, so no exercise for me!

Pillow: I LOOOOOOOVED my snoogle.

Anxiety: So. Much. I had a position that required me to provide grief support when things go wrong in pregnancy or on L&D, so I had very skewed thoughts on risks of fetal demise or maternal delivery complications. I don't think I was convinced we'd be bringing home babies until 32 weeks. I so regret this. Would I have been any less sad if something happened and I had been joyful in pregnancy? I doubt it. Now, I have no idea if I can conceive again and I so regret not enjoying that wonderful time since I'm not sure I'll ever get it again.

Pedi: If you google it, you'll get a lot of good ideas. Just make sure you feel good about the practice and the doc. There were some twin specific questions I asked (how stroller accessible is the office? Back to back appointments? ).

Bras: I went from a 34c to a 36d by 8w and was a 38dd in the end. My boobs actually hung against the sides of my belly. Gross. I did a wireless bra because I carried so high and couldn't take the wire on my belly and bought a bra extender in the end. I'd save the money for good nursing bras. It took about 3 months after weaning for my boobs to return to normal size and another year for my rib measurement to go back down.

Songs: Jesus loves me has always calmed them down. I just have to hum it and it instantly works- even at 2. Now that they get songs and can do the motions, we do a lot of Little Teapot, wheels on the bus, row row row your boat...anything with motions is a hit.

Needed items: a friend had me put the boppy changing pad liners on my registry...so awesome and will save you from changing your whole changing pad cover. We keep them in the diaper caddy for changes since they are too big for a table now. And, the miracle blanket was the only swaddle that worked. DS2 could break any Velcro swaddle in less than 2 minutes. Also, you don't want that Velcro noise when you have another sleeping baby in the room.

Unnecessary: Everyone is so different. I actually love my diaper genies and have one on each floor, but I have twice as many diapers. The wipes warmer was a waste for us. My babies didn't like pacis either.

And, an unsolicited piece of advice...GET AMAZON PRIME. Seriously. When you are so exhausted you can't drive or take a shower, but realize you must have a sound machine, two day free shipping will save you!!

Wow! Sorry that was so long!! Congrats and GL!

BabyKsMommy · October 2014

Birth plan- with DS I wasn't for sure if I wanted an epi so I just went with the flow. I ended up getting one and it was great. With these twins I'm def going to get one again as i don't think I have a choice but I might end up with a c section because of the babies positions. So like the first time my goal is healthy babies/mommy. My OB office has a checklist asking about whether u want meds, IV, skin to skin, etc. I already filled it out and its on file for when I deliver.

Anxiety- after first tri I was able to relax more with DS. But I always got nervous before u/s. This time I have a little more anxiety about pre term labor. But I take comfort in that my body knows what to do so I just need to let it do its job.

Workouts- I didn't workout but I did bf and dropped most of my weight.

Pedis- DS was in the nicu so I asked the nurses who they liked and then the pedi in the nicu as well. The recommendation they gave us has been great. We've had the same one for 3 yrs now and the twins will have him as well.

Bras- I bought some cheapie ones to wear as my assets got bigger during pregnancy then got a couple sports bra type from motherhood to wear until my milk came in. I think I went from a 34D to a 36F.

Songs- I googled lyrics a lot with DS and will probably need to again. I know the melody of the song but not the actual words but Google works great.

Unnecessary items- I like my diaper genie and my wipes warmer. I guess I'm the minority here. I'm not a fan of infant bath robes, they grow out of them so fast. I also never had a nursing cover, I just used a blanket and there was less stuff to haul around.

I'm also a big fan of nursing tanks and yoga pants.

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