Relationship Horror Stories

caycelee · October 2014

I broke up with a guy I was dating once because i couldn't get over his gate. He was at least 6'4" and walked with his head down and shoulders slouched. He was great in bed, that's probably why I let it last for as long as it did but when he walked it looked like he had no confidence. Total turn off.

jenb_99 · October 2014

My ex-fiance was crazy. We'll call him Ben. He was normal when we first started talking (online...*cringe*), but by the time he moved down here he'd gotten involved in some sort of crazy cultish religious group. He was constantly saying that God told him things, usually things that justified his laziness and chauvinism. My favorite gem: we would never need to work because if God wanted us to have an income and provide for our family, He would just drop money on our doorstep. Oy. I'm a Christian and am deeply religious myself, but this dude was just plain nuts. A couple of years I sent him back to live with his beloved mommy, he emailed me to tell me that he'd gotten married--in a chatroom. He and his then-girlfriend and a bunch of other zealots were talking online, and the "leader" suddenly told Ben that he felt the Holy Spirit joining Ben's heart to his girlfriend's heart, and from that point on they were "married." :-?

I also once had a guy decide that we should have sex even though he didn't have any condoms. I refused, so he kept trying to convince me that we could make one out of a plastic baggie. Um...no. Needless to say, that hookup ended rather abruptly.

tbiscuit18 · October 2014

I broke up with a guy I had been dating for a while because he peed (in the toilet, not golden shower) while I was in the shower. It was morning pee, it lasted forever and I was totally grossed out.

Broke up with a guy because he lived in a loft downtown that was super industrial with concrete walls and floors, and all of his furniture was from Ikea.

Broke up with another guy because he had a tattoo of a panther on his chest and I didn't think he was muscular enough to pull it off.

Broke up with a guy because his cat was named "Qat". He thought it was funny. It drove me nuts that 1) 'Q' always goes with 'U' and, 2) It wasn't funny.

I'm sure I'll think of more dumb reasons I broke up with guys.

sparklingdiamond · October 2014

anniemore said:

Has anyone ever pretended not to remember making out with someone because it went badly??

I think I've done this more times than I can actually recall.. but I do remember I was hanging out with this SUPER cute guy one night. We got beers, went to a playground and were swinging on the swingset talking and such.. he walked me home.. and kissed me and it was SO BAD. His tongue was like a little dagger all pointy that kept darting around my mouth. I had to stop it and then the next day I just pretended I was too *drunk* to remember Oh well, he's married to a super hot super nice woman now who likes his pointy tongue!

I have denied it when certain guys have said it happened. Like there was a guy at work that was bragging about it and I just denied it. Everyone believed me over him anyways!

gutsysneakers · October 2014

I broke up with a guy on Valentine's Day in the 6th grade.

During college, I did an internship with a probation office so near the end of my internship, I had a caseload. Part of my job was to meet with defendants after they had been sentenced and explain the terms of their probation...guess who walks in....old boyfriend from high school. I died. It was so embarrassing to tell my boss that I couldn't take him (conflict of interest) and that I had dated that loser.

tbiscuit18 · October 2014

Speaking of make outs! I broke up with a guy because every time we made out I felt like I was getting dental cleaning! He used to take his tongue and run it between my upper lip and front teeth. It was so weird. At first I thought maybe it was a fluke, but he kept doing it. I've never experienced a kiss like that ever again!

yvanehtnioj · October 2014

caycelee said:
I broke up with a guy I was dating once because i couldn't get over his gate. He was at least 6'4" and walked with his head down and shoulders slouched. He was great in bed, that's probably why I let it last for as long as it did but when he walked it looked like he had no confidence. Total turn off.

what a waste of height and talent!

Madela09 · October 2014

Not a boyfriend story but still really weird.

I used to have a part time job that started right after lunch time. I stopped at a local fast food place, got my lunch and went to my car. As I'm putting my seat belt on, the guy that helped me at the cash register was knocking at my car window. I thought i forgot something so I rolled my window down. He said I had really pretty eyes and if he could have my number. I told him thank you but I already had a boyfriend (now DH). I drove to work and as I was walking in, a car honked at me. HE FOLLOWED ME TO WORK.

He drove off after I saw him but I was so weirded out. A couple days later he shows up at my work again (I was the front receptionist). He comes in with a bouquet of roses and a used, dirty white teddy bear holding a red heart. Like those cheesy Valentine's Day ones.

I guess the expression on my face said it all because my boss walked in right at that moment and asked if i knew him. I said no and he told the guy to please leave. Never saw him again.

momthatlifts · October 2014

I told this kid in elementary school that I would be his girlfriend. The very next day I pretended like I didn't know him

momthatlifts · October 2014

I dated a guy who lived with 10 other people. He was awful in bed and 6'4 and super skinny. Like @caycelee he walked all slouchy like and he wasn't even all that attractive. He was like much older than me too. I was 18 he was 27. I was with him for 8 months! I guess I was really trying to convince myself that I liked him because I felt sorry for him‌

momthatlifts · October 2014

Ahhh OK I got more. My very first REAL boyfriend that I actually liked and dated for a year and a half in high school was and still is a total douche bag and guido (sp?) . At the time that reference didn't exist. He was a complete pathological liar and even his dad told my mom that. But being 16 and totes I'm love I didn't care. Well about a year in to our already shifty relationship (yeah he actually bitched about buying me a burger off the dollar menu at micky dees) I was having dinner with his friend and girlfriend and about 10 other people for this guy's gf bday. We somehow got on the topic of clothes and I started talking about my bfs new clothes that, he said, his mom bought for him. As I'm describing the clothes his guy friend finishes off the description and says "those were my clothes!!!!! I knew he stole them! And you know what? He cheated on you!" In front of everyone. So we get back to the house and I'm asking them who this girl was and they start naming off several! I guess they found a condom in his friends room while he was out of town and his roommate said my bf went up there with some girl and couldn't "get it up". So as they are trying to figure out who this chick was his girlfriend was like "was it the one with the really short shorts? " her bf says no. So she starts naming off more. I think it's safe to say he was cheating on me for a year and a half. Bitch.

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